Hii everyone! It's a parody of fruits basket! Well..some-what parody. :3 Er..just find out for yourself! XD By the way, Arisu is my OC..It's a fic with the girls of fruits basket singing a song from the original Fosse creation Chicago. So, enjoy!

Cell Block Tango - In the Sylings of Fruits Basket

It was the day of the Annual Fall Talent Festival. It was a day where various people come up and do..er..something talent related? Anyways, in the audience were the Sohma boys: Kyo, Yuki, Shigure, Haru, Momiji, Hiro, and even Hatori! They had all been invited by Arisu and Tohru, not exactly knowing what was going on. Kyoko, the hostess for this talent show and a student at Tohru's school, walked onstage. "Welcome everyone to the Annual Fall Talent Festival!"

She let an applause go by before continuing. "First up, we have Aki Muziko singing a song..!" There was another applause as the girl came out. Then some more kids sang, and did talent things, untill finally it was time for the finall act. Oddly enough, Kyoko didn't come on to announce them. The curtain closed, and withing a minute, it opened. You could barely make out six figures standing in the back, facing the back. Everything was a color of red and black, except for the spotlight in the middle of the stage. The song slowly started..

Rin: Pop (Pose)
Arisu: Six (Pose
Kagura: Squish (Pose)
Uo: Uh-uh (Pose)
Tohru: Cicero (Pose)
Kisa: Lipshitz (Pose)


Kyo squinted at the six figured. "Those voices sound so familiar.." Shigure laughed a bit. "Why, I believe that this is the act we've been waiting for!" Momiji squealed a bit.

Rin: Pop
Arisu: Six
Kagura: Squish
Uo: Uh-uh
Tohru: Cicero
Kisa: Lipshitz


Kyokko spoke from the side of the stage. "And now, the six merry murderesses of the Crookem Country Jail in their redination of the "Cell Block Tango"..

Rin: Pop (Turn around)
Arisu: Six (Turn around)
Kagura: Squish (Turn around)
Uo: Uh-uh (Turn around)
Tohru: Cicero (Turn around)
Kisa: Lipshitz (Turn around)


The six figures where still shadowed, but they started to sing..

All: He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there!
If you'd have seen it!
Tohru: I betcha you would have done the same!

Rin: Pop
Arisu: Six
Kagura: Squish
Uo: Uh-uh
Tohru: Cicero
Kisa: Lipshitz

Rin: Pop
Arisu: Six
Kagura: Squish
Uo: Uh-uh
Tohru: Cicero
Kisa: Lipshitz


As Rin walked into the spotlight, Haru's jaw dropped. Momiji laughed at him a bit, while Hatori blinked. She had on a black corest top, and extremly short shorts. Her hair was left down, and she had on 3 inch boots. Haru rubbed his eyes, then let out a low whistle.

Rin: You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "You pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.


All the while of the next dancing scene, the rest of the five girls were still shadowed, but Rin danced in the spotlight.

[ALL] He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have dome the same!


Rin walked out of the spotlight, and into her original spot. The next person to come out was Arisu. Kyo's eyes widened, but everyone was very surprised to see what she was wearing..her clothes,and the makeup. Shigure nudged Kyo, whom in return just blushed. Arisu, like Rin, had on very short black shorts. She had on a red halter top. Her shoes were red Converse. (Yes, in Japan..XD) Her hair was placed in two braids.

Arisu: I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I fixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their arsenic.

Momiji giggled from the audience. "Whoo! Go Arisu!" Arisu shot him a quick smile, trying as much as she could to stay in character. Kyo rubbed his eyes making sure he wasn't seeing things. Like Rin, Arisu was dancing in the spotlight for this chorus.

All: He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

As Arisu went back to her spot in the shadows, Shigure started to cackle. Kagura was staring at Kyo, and even winked a few times during this. Kyo sunk in his seat. Kagura had on black bustier like outfit with 6 inch heeled boots. Her hair was in two ponytails.

Kagura: Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!

All: If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!


Kagura left, as Uo came on. Hana, who was somewhere in the audience wanted to burst out laughing by her friends appearance. Her blond hair was placed in a neat bun. Her clothes, of course, didn't match her hair. She had on a bustier similar to Kagura's, but it was red. She didn't have any shoes on. Instead, she had knee high fishnet stockings with a garter. On her arms, were black elegant gloves with no finger sleeves. Her part was not understandable, as it was in Hungarian. Uo: Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...
All: Yeah, but did you do it?
-pause-
Uo: Uh-uh..not guilty!


Uo, unfortunatly did not get a dancing solo. She went back to her spot as Tohru came out. Yuki's jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. He couldn't believe what she was wearing! Tohru had on black panties, and a black tank top that was cut off right under her breasts. Her hair was left down, and curled, and on her feet 6 inch black boots. Yuki watched, not blinking once during the whole performance. Hiro, on the other hand, sat boredly. He didn't know why they dragged him here..he wasn't enjoying this one bit. "Woo! Tohru!!" Momiji yelled, smiling. Hiro was amazed at how he was enjoying this..

Tohru: My sister, Veronica and
I did this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in our act,
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.
So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.
I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
Tohru: He had it comin!
All: He had it comin!
Tohru: He had it coming all along!
All: He had it coming all along!
Tohru: I didn't do it!
All: She didn't do it!
Tohru: But if I'd done it!
All: But if she'd dont it!
Tohru: How could you tell me that I was wrong!

Tohru: They had it coming
All: They had it coming
Tohru: They had it coming
All: They had it coming
Tohru: They had it coming
All: They took a flower
Tohru: All along
All: In its prime
Tohru: I didn't do it
All: And then they used it
Tohru: But if I'd done it,
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

After Tohru's long performance, she left and Kisa came on. Hiro leaned forward, and squinted. "..Wha-holy crap.." was all he could see after seeing her. His jaw dropped. Momiji nudged him, and Hiro blushed. Kisa had on red short shorts, and a tight black tube top. Her hair was in a low bun, with a few strands hanging in front of her face. She had on black socks with some sticky thing on the bottom that wasn't visible so that she could still dance.

I loved Al Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.

The spotlight grew bigger as all six girls came up and formed a triangle like pattern, going from shortest to tallest. (Like, Kisa was the point, and Rin and Uo were the back.)

All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

Now they split into two groups. Group one was Tohru, Rin, and Uo, while group two was Arisu, Kisa, and Kagura.

Group 1: They had it comin'
Group 2: They had it comin'
Group 1: They had it comin'
Group 2: They had it comin'
Group 1: They had it comin'
Group 2: They had it comin'
Group 1: All along
Group 2: All along
Group 1: 'Cause if they used us
Group 2: 'Cause if they used us
Group1: And they abused us
Group 2: And they abused us
All: How could you tell us that we were wrong?

Group 1: He had it coming
Group 2: He had it coming
Group 1: He only had himself to blame.
Group 2: He only had himself to blame.
Group 1: If you'd have been there
Group 2: If you'd have been there
Group 1: If you'd have seen it
Group 2: If you'd have seen it
All: I betcha you would have done the same!


Now they all went into one line, doing a spoken part.

Rin: You pop that gum one more time!
Arisu: Single my ass.
Kagura: Ten times!
Uo: Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.
Tohru: Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
Kisa: Artistic differences. Rin: Pop (Put all her weight on one knee with her arms crossed.)
Arisu: Six (Slowly went down into the middle splits, then put her head in both of her hands and her elbows on the floor.)
Kagura: Squish (Bent down on one knee, putting her elbow on that knee and her head in her fist)
Uo: Uh-uh (Shook her finger as if to say 'no' with other hand on hip facing side)
Tohru: Cicero (Bent one knee with toe flexed on floor. Both hands behind her head.)
Kisa: Lipshitz (Sat in an artsy posing kind of way)


The six girls stayed in there poses untill the music stopped. There was a small pause, untill finally Momiji stood up and started clapping and 'whoo!'ing. Soon, the rest of the Sohma's followed him, untill mostly evering was standing, and clapping. The girls bowed, then ran backstage to change into their normal clothes.

After they had all gotten changed, the girls went to catch up with the guys. Hatori, and Shigure had already left, though. "That was a great performance." Yuki said, smiling mainly at Tohru. "Thank you!" Arisu replied. Uo looked around. "Hey..where's Rin and Haru?" Everyone looked up the street to see them walking hand in hand back home. "Er..ook.." Kyo said, blinking. Hiro blushed a bit, and looked at Kisa. "So..er..do you want me to walk you home..?" Kisa nodded shyly, and they walked the opposite way of Haru and Rin.

Arisu smiled a bit. "C'mon, Kyo-kun! We're going in the same direction!" She laughed a little, then grabbed his hand. Kyo blushed a bit as they started to walk. This left Tohru, Momiji, Kagura, and Yuki alone. Kagura glared at Arisu. "That's not fair!" Momiji laughed. "Don't worry Kagura, we're not gonna be that far behind them!" The four of them started walking about 15 feet behind Kyo and Arisu, Tohru and Yuki holding hands the whole way..

Yaay! I'm done! Believe it or not, this took me two days to write. XD Anyways..I don't like it that much, but I love writting parodies! =D I hope you enjoy it! . (PS-I edited it. I hope the formats better! ;)

-Ryokko-Chan