"Now please welcome Ms. Buffy Summers!"
Buffy takes her place on stage.
To the tune of "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega altered lyrics "Vampire Number Five"
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is vampire number five!
One, two, three, four, five, everybody in the Bronze so c'mon let's drive
To the weapons store around the corner
The Slayerettes want some knives and stakes but I don't really want another
Massacre like we had last night
I must stay awake 'cause they need that stake
I killed The Mayor, the Master, the Judge and Sunday
And I must continue, or they'll win out on Monday
So what can I do? I really twist in the knife
To me Slaying is just my life
Anyone run? I'll kill 'em and it ain't hard
Please stop 'em in the graveyard
A little bit of Hellmouth in my life,
A little bit of Ted who wants a wife
A little bit of Amy and her spell of love
A little bit of Gwen Post with her glove
A little bit of Spike now in the Sun
A little bit of Lyle on the run
A little bit of Faith gets in my hair
A little bit of you makes me your Slayer!!!!
Vampire number five!
Jump up and down, and struggle all around,
On a burial mound, get your ass on the ground
Take a roundhouse left, block with the right
A bite on the neck, a claw in the side
Box the ears once and punch the jaw twice
And if they end up dust then you're doing it right
A little bit of Hellmouth in my life,
A little bit of Ted who wants a wife
A little bit of Amy and her spell of love
A little bit of Gwen Post with her glove
A little bit of Spike now in the Sun
A little bit of Lyle on the run
A little bit of Faith gets in my hair
A little bit of you makes me your Slayer!!!!
Graveyard, the graveyard
Vampire number five!
A little bit of Xander at my back,
A little bit of Giles on the attack,
A little bit of Willow casts a spell,
A little bit of Angel back from Hell,
A little bit of Cordy can be rough,
A little bit of Mom is quite enough,
A little bit of Oz when without hair,
A little bit of you makes me your Slayer!
I do all to stalk and kill a vampire like you
And you can't run, so have no doubt,
You and me gonna duke it out
Vampire number five!