Adventures of the Mini-Goddess
The Peorth Files
By: Alicia Maxwell
One ordinary day in May, three goddesses appeared at the door of a likeable young college student. The goddesses used their many powers to help people find happiness, and sometimes, for a laugh, they would make themselves small. This is their story…
Peorth VS Urd
It was just an ordinary day, like any other day in the Morisato home, which means it was actually a bizarre and chaotic day, but for them, it was normal. Gan-chan, for the 523rd time in his life, was sitting on the porch moping about his lack of a girlfriend.
"I can help you, Gan-chan!" Peorth and Urd both said at once, goofy smiles plastered on their faces. When the two noticed that the other had said the same, they turned to each other and exchanged death glares.
"Hey! Step off, sister! This is my area of expertice!" Urd growled.
"Comment drôle[1]!" Peorth laughed. "How very amusing! Urd, you don't have a clue when it comes to matters of le coeur[2]."
"What are you talking about!?" Urd screeched. "You're the one who always screws things up!"
"Urd, I hate to bring this up but remember the time you set me up with a lighter… and then a jar of honey… and then had me marry a tea kettle only to lose her to another tea kettle? And remember when you gave me that magic rose to give to my girlfriend when I proposed and the plan backfired and you fell in love with me? And what about the time--?"
"SHUT UP!!" Urd socked Gan-chan in the face and he went flying. "Okay Peorth, you need me to prove I'm better? Fine! First one to find the girl of Gan-chan's dreams is the best. And NO DO-OVERS!!"
"Donc vous dites, donc ce sera[3]," Peorth held out her hand and the two shook on it.
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Gan-chan groaned.
......
"What about this girl Gan-chan?" Urd asked, shoving a photo of a pink rat in his face. "She's smart funny and she eats like a horse!"
"What's her name?" Gan-chan asked. "She looks familiar."
"Kaoru," Urd said with a smile.
"That's the one I proposed to and then you screwed it up!"
"Oops. Hahaha!"
......
"Oh come on, Gan-chan! You must like this one!" Peorth showed him a sketch of a purple rat with a black trench coat on. "She's sexy, she's sassy, and she's the most wanted rat chick around!"
"Wanted by who!? The cops!?"
......
"This one! You've gotta love this one! She's beautiful, charming, and she's a fantastic scavenger and cook!"
"That's Michiko, Peorth. We went out a long time ago. Things didn't work out."
......
"What do you think of this one, Gan-chan?" Urd showed him a picture.
"Are you crazy Urd!? That's a snake! Snakes eat rats!"
"But she's really sweet…"
......
"This one's perfect for you Gan-chan!" Peorth assured. "Her name is Kyoko. She's very kind and loving and she cooks and she loves cleaning up other rats' messes and she's very loyal."
"Ah, she sounds great!"
"There's only one catch."
"What is it?" Gan-chan looked at her crossly.
"She's got a split-personality named Kyomi who has schizophrenia, manic-depressive disorder, ADHD, OCD, and antisocial personality disorder but she only shows up about one day a month."
"NO WAY IN HELL!"
......
"Hello Peorth," Urd walked into the room where Peorth was taking a break with a smug smirk on her face.
"What do you want?" Peorth asked angrily.
"I just came to tell you that you've lost," Urd giggled. "I can't believe I didn't think of her sooner but I found Gan-chan's perfect woman."
"Aah! No way! Who is it!?" Peorth demanded.
"It's Belldandy."
"But Belldandy would never give up Morisato for a rat!"
"Ah, but the contest rules were to find the perfect girl for him, not to find the perfect girl for him that would agree to be with him."
"Comment injuste[4]!" Peorth cried
The End
Saa Koi shiyou Deai wa itsumo
Me no mae ni afureteiru wa
Nee koi shiyou Donna toki demo
Chansu wo minogasanaide ne
Chotto akogareteru no kono serifu
I love you darling
Kitto te to te wo tsunaide odori toki
So yes, I love you
Kiss kiss kiss soshite Kiss Kiss Kiss
Mitsume aeba hito ni atsui messeji
Haato wa suteppu kurikaesu no
Saa Koi shiyou Deai wa itsumo
Totsuzen ni yatte kuru mono
Nee Koi shiyou Kamaenaide
Kowagaru koto wa nai yo ne
Saa Koi shiyou Kisetsu no naka de
Meguriau hito wa dare desyo?
Nee Koi shiyou Maji ni deyou yo
Ashita wa motto kirameiteru Come now when love strikes
Donna kao shite ieba ii no ka na?
I love you, darling
Gyu tto so no te tsukamaete todoketai
So yes, I love you
Kiss kiss kiss soshite Kiss Kiss Kiss
Asa mo hiru mo yoru mo atsui messeji
Amaku horanikaku dakishimetai
Saa Koi shiyou Deai wa itsumo
Me no mae ni afureteiru wa
Nee koi shiyou Donna toki demo
Chansu wo minogasanaide
Saa Koi shiyou Kisetsu no naka de
Meguriau hito wa iru kara
Saa Koi shiyou Nee Koi shimasho
Ashita wa motto kirameiteru
Saa Koi shiyou Deai wa itsumo
Totsuzen ni yatte kuru mono
Nee Koi shiyou Kamaenaide
Kowagaru koto wa nai yo ne
Saa Koi shiyou Kisetsu no naka de
Meguriau hito wa dare desyo?
Nee Koi shiyou Maji ni deyou yo
Ashita wa motto kirameiteru
[1] I used a French-English Online Translator to do this so it may be off.
Comment drôle - How funny
[2] le coeur - the heart
[3] Donc vous dites, donc ce sera - So you say, so it shall be
[4] Comment injuste - How unfair!