Shadow: This idea just randomly came to me while I was doing my history homework. I don't think it's ever been done before so no one can say it's unoriginal. But if it has been done, forget what I just said.

Spark: Well, the only thing you have to worry about it subconsciously writing about Golden Sun in your history essay. I can see it now: "The Native Americans were angered by the Adepts settling their homeland…"

:Shadow runs off to proofread essay:

Spark: How amusing. Anyways, this fic is going to be a romance/humor. The pairings include mud, flame, lighthouse, and stormshipping. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Dear Diary...

As he lay there between the sheets, he wondered how in Sol's name he had gotten himself into this mess. Was it the wine or his own stupidity? What would everyone think when they found out the truth? How could he explain this to Felix, who was sleeping so peacefully beside him? How would he explain this to Sheba?

"Shit…" he mumbled to himself as he sat up, revealing his bare chest. His clothes lay scattered across the floor and it would prove to be a daunting task to get dressed in the dark. He rubbed his face, trying to wake himself from this nightmare. 'OK, just calm down,' he thought. He had to think logically, like an intelligent human being. 'It was your birthday and you got drunk. You woke up in Felix's bed. Nothing happened…' He pulled the sheets away and realized that he was completely naked. 'Nothing happened…'

Felix moaned from beside him and shifted in his sleep. He turned over and felt the empty place where his lover once was. "Are you up?" he whispered sleepily.

'Shit,' he cursed. 'Ivan, whatever you do, don't say anything!'

"Maybe…" he replied, trying not to sound distraught. Felix leaned over and pulled him back towards him.

'Fuck…it's times like these when you wished someone was a hermaphrodite…'

"IVAN!"

There was trouble, right here in Vale. He snapped the book shut and tucked it into his robes. Perfect timing, because she came running up to the tree moments later and looked up at him. "What did you do with it?" she growled.

"With what?" he asked.

"My journal! You took it!" she hissed. "Now give it to me!" She held her hand out for him to drop the book into. But he wasn't going to give up that easily. Oh no, not without a fight. He straddled the brand and leaned down, giving Sheba a high-five.

"You little…" She had anticipated such sarcasm from him and grabbed his hand the moment it touched her palm.

"Oh Sheba," he whispered while hanging upside-down. "I didn't know you cared!" She scowled at him give his arm a yank. It was his mistake since he hadn't gripped the branch tightly enough. He landed on his back with a loud 'thud'.

"Now hand it over!" she shouted as he leaned over him.

"Why do you have to be so violent?" he whimpered as he sat up. "Besides, I don't have your crummy journal!"

"Well," Sheba asked, sounding unsure. "Then who's were you reading?"

Ivan sighed and reaching into his cloaks. He pulled out a small book and opened it. With a lick of his finger, he turned to a random page and showed Sheba that the entry was signed by Jenna.

"Oh, sorry! I'll see you later!" she laughed, her mood suddenly changing faster than gas prices.

Once she was gone, Ivan let out a snicker. He had to thank Mia for sewing those extra deep pockets into his tunic. He never thought they would come in handy, until now. "Now where was I?" he mused as he quickly swapped journals. He opened Sheba's and began thumbing through the pages. "Ah yes…'Dear Diary…today we reached the Western Sea. It's so pretty here and so much different from the Eastern Sea. I was enjoying the view from my spot in the crow's nest, when I suddenly started to slip. Fortunately, Felix was there to catch me. How did he get up there so quickly? But I don't really care. I'm blushing as I write this to you now…'" Ivan snickered as he read on. "Oh Sheba, you do make me giggle…"

He flipped through the next couple of pages. "Oh! She's finally met up with us…'Dear Diary…today we met up with some of Felix's friends. Their leader is named Isaac. He's really cute (but not like Felix!) and seems to be a good leader. His best friend, Garet is really a funny guy. Already we've become good friends…joking around and playing pranks on Jenna. I think he has a crush on her. Mia is so sweet. It's so obvious how much she and Isaac like each other. But then there's this kid, Ivan. Man is he annoying! He's a Jupiter adept like me and he's constantly reading my mind! It pisses me off to no end. How I would like to just shove him off the boat and watch him flail in the water…'" Ivan shut the book. That was enough nosiness for one day.

"Were you talking to yourself again, Ivan?" a voice behind him laughed. He frowned to find Picard leaning against the tree behind him.

"W-when did you get there?" he stammered as he slid the book back into his tunic.

"Just when you started muttering something about pushing someone off of a boat and taking pleasure in watching them drown," he replied nonchalantly.

"Good," he said as he breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't want to have another close encounter of the Sheba-kind today…"

"Why? Do you think that I would tell Sheba that you were reading her diary?" Ivan nodded. "I wouldn't do anything of the sort." The skeptical wind adept raised an eyebrow and mind read his Lemurian friend.

Once he had gotten the desired information he shook his head slowly and clicked his tongue. "What a kiss ass…don't think that by being nice to me will guarantee a date with my sister."

"Damn," he muttered as he kicked a rock with the toe of his shoe. "But will you put in the good word for me?"

Ivan stroked his chin pensively. "Given the situation, I guess I owe you a favor." He glanced back at Picard. "But you won't tell Sheba I was reading her diary, right?"

"What diary?" he laughed as he walked off.

'Good boy,' Ivan thought to himself as he began walking in the opposite direction. He thought it would be best to go check in with Isaac before returning to his laziness. It was quite an accomplishment for the little Jupiterian: he hadn't done a single thing to aid in the reconstruction of Vale. 'Serves them right,' he snorted. 'I always did the work: whirlwind, mind read, reveal, hover…teleport.' Regardless of how the others saw him, Ivan felt as if he was a god. 'I shall build a statue in my honor,' he thought as he went off in search of some poor unfortunate sculptor to help him.

His thoughts of his latest scheme amused him, and he began to skip down the unpaved streets of New Vale. But someone grabbed him by his cape, choking him. "Where do you think you're going?" Isaac asked as he dragged Ivan closer to him.

"I was just looking for you," he replied once Isaac released him. "Honest."

"Listen, we're running short on lumber and we're going to have to import lumber from Bilbin to finish building the new houses. We're also running short on cash…But the banker in town fell off his horse and now has amnesia."

"I'm very sorry to hear that…"

"We need you and Sheba to mind read him and find out the combination to the safe."

Ivan sighed at the thought of working. "What for?"

"So we can get money to buy the lumber!" Isaac yelled. "Leave the stupidity to Garet and get over to the sanctum. Mia and Jenna and tending to his injuries."

"And what are you going to do about this whole ordeal?" Ivan asked. He felt so sly asking him this when he noticed the tall glass of lemonade in his hand. "Sip lemonade?"

"No, I'm taking this to Kraden," Isaac replied coldly.

Ivan let out another well-timed sigh as he started towards the sanctum. There were two things he didn't like about the situation. One: he was feeling especially lazy on this hot summer day and would have preferred to sip lemonade with Kraden. Two: Sheba. The doors to the sanctum were wide open and he could see her talking to Mia.

"Oh, Isaac finally found you," Mia smiled as he stepped inside. "Sheba didn't have any luck in mind reading him. You'd better give it a try." He looked down and saw the man lying on a cot.

Ivan nodded and set to work. "He's a tough one to crack…" he said as he started searching through the man's thoughts. "Let's see…the combination is…25…19…45."

"I got it!" Jenna said as she scribbled the combination down. "I'll take this to Felix."

Ivan opened his eyes and grinned at Mia and Sheba. Mia received him warmly, but Sheba did not. She scowled at him and he could sense her creeping into his mind.

The next moment was all a blur to Ivan. 'I know you have my diary…' Sheba thought. The moment this thought came to him he spoke to her in his mind: 'Before you say anything, I don't have your journal…' A tingling sensation came over Ivan. It started in his head and crept down his spinal cord and eventually spread all through his body. His legs buckled out from under him and he fell to the floor, cold as a Thanksgiving turkey.

Shadow: Whew…that was odd.

Spark: You bet…

Shadow: I started this story out in a traditional formal; very linear. But I thought it would be funny if I decided to be non-linear and put a part that's towards the end, in the beginning.

Spark: Please review!