Shadow: Wow, this story is doing pretty well so far. In my opinion at least…stories that have like a bazillion reviews are sort of over-rated to me. I like having a few good reviews from people telling me that they really like me story.

Spark: Oh, you're just sour grapes because your story isn't as good as theirs. :P

Shadow: OK, now I'm really considering getting an additional muse…

Spark: O.o Fine then…thanks to the following people who submitted "honest and wholesome reviews" according to Shadow:

Miyuki2004: Awww, thanks so much.

Akachi: I can't believe she's getting another muse!!! :sobs: I always wanted to be an only muse…

WhiteBoy50000: Well, we were just guessing as to what it feels like since Shadow's a girl. But I would imagine that would hurt A LOT. Glad you like the story.

Dela the Hidden: Of course there will be! It wouldn't be any fun without it.

Sunrunner: Wow, you liked that? I was worried that it was going to be a little bit too random. Thanks so much!

Rednal29: Hmmm…I'll have to go read that. Sounds interesting.

Midiot: Glad you like it! We're hoping to somehow keep this thing going for at least 10 chapters since Shadow has so many ideas.

Dog-eared-hanyou: It's a relief to hear that it's not confusing our readers. That was our biggest fear in writing this fanfic. Glad you're enjoying it!

Shadow: You made that last comment before you replied sound extremely sarcastic…

Spark: Oh really?

Shadow: I was being serious…

Spark: That's a change.

Shadow: You know what…

Chapter Three: Of Vodka and Bloody Noses

"So Sheba, aren't you excited about your birthday coming up?" Jenna asked as she started pulled the covers off her bed. Ivan ignored the Mars Adept and continued staring out at the night sky. "Sheba?" She still received no response. "Hello? Wayward to Sheba!"

"Oh! Er…of course," he replied, nervously. "Sorry about that…"

"Well, I'm sure you're still a little messed up from the whole ordeal this morning," she smiled as she walked over to Sheba's bed and began removing the covers.

"You know, I can still go back to the Inn," he suggested as he got up from the windowsill. "I don't want to impose…"

"Oh stop!" Jenna scolded. "It's important that you stay with someone tonight just to make sure everything's OK!" Ivan chuckled to himself. On the contrary, things were horrible screwed up. "Do you mind shutting the curtains for me?"

Ivan jumped. The curtains? He sheepishly obeyed and pulled them shut so that only candlelight illuminated the room. "Don't want any peeping toms!" she chuckled. That's when he realized what she was planning on doing. Immobilized by embarrassment and curiosity (hey, he's a fifteen year-old boy! What do you expect?) he stood there and watched as Jenna kicked off her boots.

"Don't you want some…er…privacy?" he suggested, his eyes fixed on the ties of Jenna's body armor. Jenna raised an eyebrow at Sheba as she continued undressing.

"I thought I remembered you telling me that you had no modesty back on the ship," she said as she tossed the leather armor onto her bed. "And that we were like sisters." She bent over and picked up her boots and armor and carried them over to the closet.

"I…must have forgotten," he laughed as he began removing the cape draped over his shoulders. But as he was fumbling with his clothes, he found himself constantly looking up at watching Jenna.

"It feels much better to get rid of these sweaty clothes after working all day," she sighed as she pulled her one-piece dress over her head.

Ivan felt blood inching down his lower lip.

Sheba finally felt like she was in her own element. All she needed was one card and victory was hers. "So Ivan," Garet began as he drew two cards off the top of the deck. "Have any ideas for Sheba's birthday?"

She raised her hand for silence as she set her card down. Carefully, with a shaky hand, she drew her final card. Keeping a perfect poker face, she nodded with approval. "What were you saying?" she asked as she set her hand down.

Garet and Isaac exchanged glances over their hands. "Sheba's birthday: do you have any ideas?"

She allowed herself to smirk. "Well, maybe a big picnic…" she began, envisioning the perfect party. "With a big banner that says: happy sixteenth birthday Sheba. And a piñata."

"A piñata?" Felix asked.

"Yes, a piñata," she said smugly. "It's a well known fact that Sheba likes piñatas. Preferably ones shaped like bulls."

The four other men exchanged glances before returning to their game. "Well, I've got nothing," Picard sighed as he laid his cards before him.

"Two of a kind," Garet said.

"Full house," declared Isaac.

"Flush," his fellow Venus adept smirked. "And we all know here that Ivan is the worst poker player in the world, so it looks like…"

"I win," Sheba grinned as she lay her cards down. "A royal flush!" Everyone's jaws dropped as they saw her cards. "Haha…snap!" she laughed in Felix's face.

"Ivan, since when did you become such a good poker player?" Isaac asked.

"I got lessons from Sheba. And you all know she is the greatest player this side of the Goma Range!" Everyone rolled their eyes in disgust as Sheba basked in the glory. "Get on with it!"

The four males sighed as the removed their shirts. "Whose stupid idea was it to play strip poker?" Garet growled as he tossed his shirt aside.

"Ivan's," Picard mumbled. "If we had known this, we would have invited the girls to play."

Isaac gathered the cards up and began shuffling the deck. "Well, Ivan's got the best plan out of all of us for Sheba's birthday party. We can have Mia help with the cake and Picard, if you don't mind, can take care of the rest of the food."

"I don't mind at all," he beamed as he picked up his cards as they were dealt to him. "But what about this piñata business? I mean, do we really have to get one?"

"YES!" Sheba shouted. She suddenly regretted this as she felt sixteen eyes on her. "I mean, Sheba would be devastated if she couldn't have a piñata…She told me herself that she's always wanted a piñata but never had one. It's a very tragic story."

"If you say so," Isaac sighed as he picked up his five cards and began strategizing. Sheba picked up her hand and held it over her face. She glanced around the table and saw that the boys were busy studying their hands. So she slyly glanced over and examined the shirtless Felix.

"What are you looking ay?" he asked as he looked up and noticed the Jupiter adept gazing at him.

"Er…there's a mosquito on you!" she exclaimed.

"Where?" he cried as he looked himself over. Sheba buried her face in her cards as Felix searched desperately for the little bug. "What mosquito?"

"Must have flown away…" She had to focus. If she won this game, their pants would be gone.

Moans and groans could be heard as Sheba revealed her full house. She smiled with glee as a symphony of belts and zippers filled the room.

"I need to get lessons from Sheba," Felix sighed as he tossed his pants aside. She felt her face grow hot, which she realized would look very odd.

"You OK Ivan?" Isaac asked.

"I'm feeling a little sick…"

"Bathroom's out back," Garet instructed, gesturing down the hall towards the back door. She bolted out of her chair and towards the exit.

"Serves the little punk right…" Picard grumbled.

She ran out the door, past the outhouse, and straight for Kay's garden. Once she knew she was out of sight, she sat down on the bench beside the birdbath. Casting another glance around her, she leaned over and looked down into the water and at her reflection.

"Who am I kidding?" she sighed as she looked at Ivan's reflection. "Just when I get Felix to acknowledge me, I'm trapped in Ivan's stupid body." She added extra emphasis to the word 'stupid'. "Hama had better hurry up and get over here really soon."

"Hey Ivan!" she heard Garet yell. "Picard just dragged out some vodka! You know you want some!" She heaved a sigh as she picked herself up off the bench. Despite the fact that she promised to never touch a drop, she had to go in just for show. It would be very unlike Ivan to turn down an offer of any sort of alcoholic beverage.

Once she stepped inside, she saw small shot-glasses dotting the table and three bottles of vodka in the center, one of them already half-empty. "Come on Ivan!" Garet hiccupped, obviously drunk. "I know how much you love…hic…raspberry vodka…hic!" With a shaky hand, he reached over and poured her a shot.

"Well…I dunno," she stammered, staring at the shot-glass as if it were a wolf, ready to pounce on her.

"Oh, the vodka will make you feel better!" Garet snorted as he teetered in his seat. "You just looked like you were…contemporary!"

"Constipated," Isaac corrected.

"Yes, convalescent," he hiccupped with a wave of his hand.

"How much have you had to drink?" she gasped.

"Sadly, only two shots," Felix sighed as he reached for the nearly empty bottle. "Come on Ivan, live a little!" he laughed as he gestured to the glass.

She looked down and reluctantly picked it up. As she brought it close to her face, the foul odor met her nose. 'This stuff smells like it could peel wallpaper!' But once again, she felt the eyes of the other adepts on her, and quickly downed the offensive liquid.

"Well?" Picard asked.

Sheba felt as if the skin inside her mouth was melting. "Tastes like…stomach acid mixed in with cat urine."

"I know! Isn't it great!" Picard grinned as he poured himself another glass.

Now Sheba really did feel like puking. She had broken two promises that night: she drank and gave into peer pressure. But she suddenly felt relieved when she looked herself over and found out that she was Ivan, not Sheba; she was killing off his brain cells, not hers.

"Don't be stingy!" Picard scoffed as he poured her another glass. "I've got plenty more in the ship! So drink up! Puts hair on your chest."

Once again, the glass was placed before her. The pungent odor filled her nostrils, but the fact that Ivan's body was going to be screwed up, not hers, comforted her and she reached for it.

"That's more like it Ivan!" Garet grinned, his face beet red. He reached over to slap her on the back, but fell off his chair in the process and landed on the floor with a loud 'thump'.

"Looks like Garet's drunk off his ass again!" Felix laughed, his face growing slightly red as well. They had lost all interest in playing cards and now sat around the table, drinking vodka in their boxers. Sheba found this extremely entertaining. She wished the girls could be here to see this, or at the least, be able to tell them. But she couldn't. The outcome of these actions were unknown, and she wasn't ready to find out. So instead, she poured herself another glass.

"Let's go streaking!" Garet suggested as Isaac scraped himself off the floor.

Shadow: First off, I'd like to say that I do not condone consumption of alcohol or giving into peer pressure in any shape or form. I wrote that just to make Garet and the others…well, mostly Garet…look stupid. Do not attempt at home. However, go ahead and play strip poker to your heart's content. Just make sure you're good at it.

Spark: Yea, so don't blame us.

Shadow: Oh, and everything I wrote about vodka, I owe to a friend. I've never tasted or smelled the stuff (nor do I have any desire to) and I just wrote that based on what they've told me. But anyways, I do hope you found that at least mildly amusing. Please leave a review or I'll force you to listen to bad 70's music!