First off, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and who had
stayed faithfully to this crappy fic.
No, I'm not ending the fic or going on a long hiatus, I just felt I needed to explain a few things. And since FF.net doesn't allow for "author notes", I suppose I'll have to write it in story format and in first person. XD I love loopholes. ^_^
Hmmm... just exactly "WHAT" are keyboard dialogues anyway?
~~~~
Standard keyboard: "jdkfjiejvmk!!"
Natural keyboard: "Dude! Like, what's up?"
Standard: "kvm gkgkl kgjoe?"
Natural: "Man, I don't dig..."
Standard: "JDKFJIEJVMK!!!"
Natural: "Oh I getcha now... totally dude... I just hate it when 'da Man' pushes my buttons for no reason either!"
~~~~
Er... maybe not....
To assist me in this task, I was going to rent out some of the characters from the show to provide some hilarious and witty commentary (Hey! Everyone was doing it!) The most popular ones were almost always Team 7, Shikamaru or Gaara, so I knew they'd be already taken. My first choice was to be Shino, however I felt that the Vash look-alike doesn't really talk too much to provide "hilarious and witty commentary", and I don't think the people in the apartment would appreciate a sudden infestation of little bugs. My next option (that was within my price range) was Yakushi Kabuto, but then I thought to myself that this guy looks way too much like Dr. Tofu from Ranma 1/2, and that kinda freaked me out slightly. (Evil Tofu!!) Hinata would have been too shy to say something, or possibly too OOC to control. (Those types always tend to snap at the worst possible moment.) After a whole moment of brain-hurt, I finally decided on my option: The Ichiraku owner. Okay, so I was getting slightly hungry at this time, but the possibility of ramen while we comment was almost too good to pass up.
As I hopped onto my shiny new, silver and chrome colored 4-speed bike, pedaled my way uphill, passed the porn-shops advertising the Come-Come Paradise "accessory line", and then finally arrived at the slightly modern anime-rental shop's drive-thru... did I realize that the freakin' company jacked up the prices of the rentals and all I could afford were either dead NPC's or the cast's plushie avatars. Since I didn't really want blood all over my carpet (I mean, one of the guys available was a sound nin who had met his fate with Gaara's sand coffin... and let me tell you, it was NOT a pretty picture) Sooo...I chose the cute stuffs of fluff.
Hey... it saves on catering too!
Okay, here goes nothing.
Lizmun proudly presents...
Midnight Intermission!
With special co-hosts, Plushie Sasuke and Plushie Gaara!!
*Turns on one of those "natural sounds alarm clocks" and presses the one for waves.... Pretty close to a canned applause, really*
"Thank you, thank you! So how is everyone doing tonight? Are you enjoying the fic so far?" I look around, jumping around, happy as a perky Japanese game show hostess, only to be responded with the sound of jellyfish coughing.
"Oh right... forgot." As I slapped myself on the forehead, I reach over and press the "waves" button again, then get the satisfying sound of a fake applause. I turn to my co-hosts and give them an ear-splitting grin. "How about you two? How are you enjoying the story?"
"...." Gaara-plushie merely gives me a stone cold glare, standing as stoic as he could next to the hello-kitty backdrop.
"....." Sasuke-plushie, not to be outdone by that beanie-baby reject, adds an extra pause in its silent response.
I turn to my audience and grin. "And you guys thought they'd both be out of character for this!" Reaching over to the alarm clock, I press the "jungle sounds" button, which after a few seconds of rain one could hear a bird cawing in the background... which also sounds like a weird laugh.
"Okay, in all seriousness, I would first like to apologize for those of you who are waiting for a plot." Reaching back I chuckle and scratch idly at the back of my neck. "I know... I'm waiting for one as well." I force a fake laugh, Sasuke just gives me a cold glare while Gaara continues with his blank impassive expression. "The thing is, if I do some sort of plot, It'll break from the Naruto time-line. Supposedly this story could be set between just after Kakashi passes them to before team 7 headed toward the wave country."
I look to Sasuke and my lip trembles seeing his frown. "Oh Sasuke! I'm sorry! I forgot how traumatic that part was! I won't mention it again. Will you forgive me?" Alas Sasuke just has his plastic eyes looking elsewhere, almost indifferent to my words. I grin at this and squint my eyes tightly in fangirlish, Sakura-like glee. "OOH!! Sasuke you're so cool!"
Regaining my composure I turn back to my "audience". "Anyway, the story was initially planned to be just a simple character-development fanfic, really. I had first started this fic because I was kinda getting upset over all the "weak Iruka" fanfics. Frankly I was getting irked that the dolphin sensei was being overlooked, underappreciated, underestimated and sometimes ignored altogether."
If I didn't know better, I would think that Gaara's cold menacing, acrylic eyes seemed to glare at me with a slight sense of confusion. That or it could've been a scratch in the paint.
"You don't know who Iruka is, Gaara? Well, Iruka was a very important figure in Naruto's life, but many authors simply place a blanket over the guy in favor of Sasuke or Kakashi." Suddenly I grab a red marker and a large poster board and begin to draw crappy flames on the surface then I set the board behind me to give the appearance of a fiery background. I raise my fists into the air and look at the ceiling with a determined expression on my face... one that could rival Gai-sensei's own trademark expression. "And I, being obsessively fanatic over the teacher, I decided I wasn't going to take the abuse any longer."
Biting my lip, I clench my shaking fist to the air. Gushes of tears already flow down my cheeks from my unwavering declaration. I stay like this for a few moments before I run out of steam and let my posture drop.
"And that's how this crap all started."
Turning back to my co-hosts, I smile first to Sasuke, who was probably wishing to be somewhere other than here, and then I smile to Gaara. As I look towards the red-haired plushie I gasp ad I find him face down on the table. My face pales as I see this and I step back wearily.
"Oh no.... He's fallen asleep! RUN!!" I scramble like a dyslexic hydra on the rampage and knock over my collection of manga, anime figures and pencil boards in my attempt to escape from *spoiler spoiler.* This continues for a minute or so before I tangle myself on my beaded curtain and knock myself, face first, to the wall. Wobbly stepping back I turn groggingly to the audience...
"We'll be right back..."
----------
"Don't' glare at me like that, Sasuke! I thought it would be funny to have an intermission within an intermission!" I give my harshest stare at the Uchiha plushie, just daring him to defy my fabulous wit, only to have an equally harsh stare returned back. "Feh! You think you're so high and mighty... well guess what!? I think you're just a pompous arrogant little fu... er..." With slow, deliberate movements, I turn back towards the audience and give a little "eep" before standing upright and returning back to my genki form.
"Ah! We're back!" I turn to hiss at the Sasuke Plushie. "Why didn't you tell me we were back on?" The plushie just gives me an indifferent expression which causes me to clench my fists in anger. "Don't think you're getting away from this that easily! Hmph!"
With my smile back I turn to the audience. "I apologize for the scare earlier. Don't worry, we have everything under control." I turn to point to the Gaara plushie on the table. Guarding the ring-eyed plush is my Voltron action-set holding it's sword at the red-felt's back. To its left is a model of a scowling Dark Vash, aiming it's gun at Gaara-plushie's head and to the right rests Wolfwood, casually propped on his cross, casually aiming his own gun at the plush.
"Hey! Where did Lina Inverse go? Dammit! Must have gone out with chibi-gourry for my pocky treasure again! Damn that woman! Oh well. Anyway, in this portion of the show, we get to respond to some reviews! Yay! C'mon guys join me!" I grab some maracas and place one in front Sasuke-plushie... who in turn just glares at it, hoping it's gaze will ignite the object on fire. I place the other in front of Gaara who looks at it with a curious yet cool and dark expression.
"Shake, shake, chu chu! We're going to read some reviews!" I pause and sweatdrop. "Okay, even I admit that was lame." I turn and immediately glare at Sasuke. "Hmph! I know you're smirking! Little brat...."
With a huff, I turn around and grab a page on the desk and try to ignore the raven, felt-haired doll.
"Today's review comes from "Queen of Vegetasei," who brought up a good point about Gai being the resident expert of Taijutsu during Iruka's time (at least, the only one mentioned). The thing is, I don't think Iruka knew of him... heck, he didn't know of Kakashi until after the jounin was assigned to team 7. (Why else would Iruka have asked the Hokage about Kakashi's track record?) Also, Gai was probably just a few years older than Iruka at the time, and probably wasn't a jounin yet. Iruka had only asked the some of the elders... and probably knowing Iruka's track record... I don't think they would've been too fond talking to the mischievous prankster. Also, Iruka probably asked some of the families with those strong bloodlines who probably don't rely too much on taijutsu.
"As for long distance attacks, that's where the shuriken and kunai come in, as well as any other projected attacks. I acknowledge the fact that shinobi do use attacks such as punches and kicks for close-range, but probably usually as a last resort. It takes time to fight hand to hand, and ninjas are more known for their swift killing techniques."
With a game-show hostess smile, I turn back to my audience. "I hope that answers your question, Queenie. Now for the next review, who was from someone named "Iceheart19." Did you know your review made me cry... and laugh... at the same time? Are you REALLY just reading this for the hints?" Pressing her fists against her chin, she gives the audience a sad, kicked- puppy look... of course she fails miserably at that since she's no Kiba nor Akamaru, so instead just manages to pout. "You mean you're not reading it because of how awesome my story is? You wound me! I'm hurt... I'm... I'm... I'm over it. Ah well. At least I'm entertaining someone somehow." I laugh and give a "thumbs-up" sign... again taking after Gai-sensei. "Well, that's all the time we have for today. How about you two, do you Sasuke, or Gaara, have anything to contribute to the reviews?"
Turning back to the table I see Sasuke lying on his back with the Voltron tipped over him, dogpiling him on the hard wooden surface. Vash is knocked to the side as well as Wolfwood and his ominous cross. Gaara, however, remains standing, and glaring.
"Okay... this is creeping me out. Good night everyone."
No, I'm not ending the fic or going on a long hiatus, I just felt I needed to explain a few things. And since FF.net doesn't allow for "author notes", I suppose I'll have to write it in story format and in first person. XD I love loopholes. ^_^
Hmmm... just exactly "WHAT" are keyboard dialogues anyway?
~~~~
Standard keyboard: "jdkfjiejvmk!!"
Natural keyboard: "Dude! Like, what's up?"
Standard: "kvm gkgkl kgjoe?"
Natural: "Man, I don't dig..."
Standard: "JDKFJIEJVMK!!!"
Natural: "Oh I getcha now... totally dude... I just hate it when 'da Man' pushes my buttons for no reason either!"
~~~~
Er... maybe not....
To assist me in this task, I was going to rent out some of the characters from the show to provide some hilarious and witty commentary (Hey! Everyone was doing it!) The most popular ones were almost always Team 7, Shikamaru or Gaara, so I knew they'd be already taken. My first choice was to be Shino, however I felt that the Vash look-alike doesn't really talk too much to provide "hilarious and witty commentary", and I don't think the people in the apartment would appreciate a sudden infestation of little bugs. My next option (that was within my price range) was Yakushi Kabuto, but then I thought to myself that this guy looks way too much like Dr. Tofu from Ranma 1/2, and that kinda freaked me out slightly. (Evil Tofu!!) Hinata would have been too shy to say something, or possibly too OOC to control. (Those types always tend to snap at the worst possible moment.) After a whole moment of brain-hurt, I finally decided on my option: The Ichiraku owner. Okay, so I was getting slightly hungry at this time, but the possibility of ramen while we comment was almost too good to pass up.
As I hopped onto my shiny new, silver and chrome colored 4-speed bike, pedaled my way uphill, passed the porn-shops advertising the Come-Come Paradise "accessory line", and then finally arrived at the slightly modern anime-rental shop's drive-thru... did I realize that the freakin' company jacked up the prices of the rentals and all I could afford were either dead NPC's or the cast's plushie avatars. Since I didn't really want blood all over my carpet (I mean, one of the guys available was a sound nin who had met his fate with Gaara's sand coffin... and let me tell you, it was NOT a pretty picture) Sooo...I chose the cute stuffs of fluff.
Hey... it saves on catering too!
Okay, here goes nothing.
Lizmun proudly presents...
Midnight Intermission!
With special co-hosts, Plushie Sasuke and Plushie Gaara!!
*Turns on one of those "natural sounds alarm clocks" and presses the one for waves.... Pretty close to a canned applause, really*
"Thank you, thank you! So how is everyone doing tonight? Are you enjoying the fic so far?" I look around, jumping around, happy as a perky Japanese game show hostess, only to be responded with the sound of jellyfish coughing.
"Oh right... forgot." As I slapped myself on the forehead, I reach over and press the "waves" button again, then get the satisfying sound of a fake applause. I turn to my co-hosts and give them an ear-splitting grin. "How about you two? How are you enjoying the story?"
"...." Gaara-plushie merely gives me a stone cold glare, standing as stoic as he could next to the hello-kitty backdrop.
"....." Sasuke-plushie, not to be outdone by that beanie-baby reject, adds an extra pause in its silent response.
I turn to my audience and grin. "And you guys thought they'd both be out of character for this!" Reaching over to the alarm clock, I press the "jungle sounds" button, which after a few seconds of rain one could hear a bird cawing in the background... which also sounds like a weird laugh.
"Okay, in all seriousness, I would first like to apologize for those of you who are waiting for a plot." Reaching back I chuckle and scratch idly at the back of my neck. "I know... I'm waiting for one as well." I force a fake laugh, Sasuke just gives me a cold glare while Gaara continues with his blank impassive expression. "The thing is, if I do some sort of plot, It'll break from the Naruto time-line. Supposedly this story could be set between just after Kakashi passes them to before team 7 headed toward the wave country."
I look to Sasuke and my lip trembles seeing his frown. "Oh Sasuke! I'm sorry! I forgot how traumatic that part was! I won't mention it again. Will you forgive me?" Alas Sasuke just has his plastic eyes looking elsewhere, almost indifferent to my words. I grin at this and squint my eyes tightly in fangirlish, Sakura-like glee. "OOH!! Sasuke you're so cool!"
Regaining my composure I turn back to my "audience". "Anyway, the story was initially planned to be just a simple character-development fanfic, really. I had first started this fic because I was kinda getting upset over all the "weak Iruka" fanfics. Frankly I was getting irked that the dolphin sensei was being overlooked, underappreciated, underestimated and sometimes ignored altogether."
If I didn't know better, I would think that Gaara's cold menacing, acrylic eyes seemed to glare at me with a slight sense of confusion. That or it could've been a scratch in the paint.
"You don't know who Iruka is, Gaara? Well, Iruka was a very important figure in Naruto's life, but many authors simply place a blanket over the guy in favor of Sasuke or Kakashi." Suddenly I grab a red marker and a large poster board and begin to draw crappy flames on the surface then I set the board behind me to give the appearance of a fiery background. I raise my fists into the air and look at the ceiling with a determined expression on my face... one that could rival Gai-sensei's own trademark expression. "And I, being obsessively fanatic over the teacher, I decided I wasn't going to take the abuse any longer."
Biting my lip, I clench my shaking fist to the air. Gushes of tears already flow down my cheeks from my unwavering declaration. I stay like this for a few moments before I run out of steam and let my posture drop.
"And that's how this crap all started."
Turning back to my co-hosts, I smile first to Sasuke, who was probably wishing to be somewhere other than here, and then I smile to Gaara. As I look towards the red-haired plushie I gasp ad I find him face down on the table. My face pales as I see this and I step back wearily.
"Oh no.... He's fallen asleep! RUN!!" I scramble like a dyslexic hydra on the rampage and knock over my collection of manga, anime figures and pencil boards in my attempt to escape from *spoiler spoiler.* This continues for a minute or so before I tangle myself on my beaded curtain and knock myself, face first, to the wall. Wobbly stepping back I turn groggingly to the audience...
"We'll be right back..."
----------
"Don't' glare at me like that, Sasuke! I thought it would be funny to have an intermission within an intermission!" I give my harshest stare at the Uchiha plushie, just daring him to defy my fabulous wit, only to have an equally harsh stare returned back. "Feh! You think you're so high and mighty... well guess what!? I think you're just a pompous arrogant little fu... er..." With slow, deliberate movements, I turn back towards the audience and give a little "eep" before standing upright and returning back to my genki form.
"Ah! We're back!" I turn to hiss at the Sasuke Plushie. "Why didn't you tell me we were back on?" The plushie just gives me an indifferent expression which causes me to clench my fists in anger. "Don't think you're getting away from this that easily! Hmph!"
With my smile back I turn to the audience. "I apologize for the scare earlier. Don't worry, we have everything under control." I turn to point to the Gaara plushie on the table. Guarding the ring-eyed plush is my Voltron action-set holding it's sword at the red-felt's back. To its left is a model of a scowling Dark Vash, aiming it's gun at Gaara-plushie's head and to the right rests Wolfwood, casually propped on his cross, casually aiming his own gun at the plush.
"Hey! Where did Lina Inverse go? Dammit! Must have gone out with chibi-gourry for my pocky treasure again! Damn that woman! Oh well. Anyway, in this portion of the show, we get to respond to some reviews! Yay! C'mon guys join me!" I grab some maracas and place one in front Sasuke-plushie... who in turn just glares at it, hoping it's gaze will ignite the object on fire. I place the other in front of Gaara who looks at it with a curious yet cool and dark expression.
"Shake, shake, chu chu! We're going to read some reviews!" I pause and sweatdrop. "Okay, even I admit that was lame." I turn and immediately glare at Sasuke. "Hmph! I know you're smirking! Little brat...."
With a huff, I turn around and grab a page on the desk and try to ignore the raven, felt-haired doll.
"Today's review comes from "Queen of Vegetasei," who brought up a good point about Gai being the resident expert of Taijutsu during Iruka's time (at least, the only one mentioned). The thing is, I don't think Iruka knew of him... heck, he didn't know of Kakashi until after the jounin was assigned to team 7. (Why else would Iruka have asked the Hokage about Kakashi's track record?) Also, Gai was probably just a few years older than Iruka at the time, and probably wasn't a jounin yet. Iruka had only asked the some of the elders... and probably knowing Iruka's track record... I don't think they would've been too fond talking to the mischievous prankster. Also, Iruka probably asked some of the families with those strong bloodlines who probably don't rely too much on taijutsu.
"As for long distance attacks, that's where the shuriken and kunai come in, as well as any other projected attacks. I acknowledge the fact that shinobi do use attacks such as punches and kicks for close-range, but probably usually as a last resort. It takes time to fight hand to hand, and ninjas are more known for their swift killing techniques."
With a game-show hostess smile, I turn back to my audience. "I hope that answers your question, Queenie. Now for the next review, who was from someone named "Iceheart19." Did you know your review made me cry... and laugh... at the same time? Are you REALLY just reading this for the hints?" Pressing her fists against her chin, she gives the audience a sad, kicked- puppy look... of course she fails miserably at that since she's no Kiba nor Akamaru, so instead just manages to pout. "You mean you're not reading it because of how awesome my story is? You wound me! I'm hurt... I'm... I'm... I'm over it. Ah well. At least I'm entertaining someone somehow." I laugh and give a "thumbs-up" sign... again taking after Gai-sensei. "Well, that's all the time we have for today. How about you two, do you Sasuke, or Gaara, have anything to contribute to the reviews?"
Turning back to the table I see Sasuke lying on his back with the Voltron tipped over him, dogpiling him on the hard wooden surface. Vash is knocked to the side as well as Wolfwood and his ominous cross. Gaara, however, remains standing, and glaring.
"Okay... this is creeping me out. Good night everyone."