I knew the first thing I had to do was keep McGonagall safe. Everyone knows the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and Grandma was doomed to be eaten alive.

First, I tried hiding Professor McGonagall in her office, but every time I tried to help her out of her makeshift bed, she whined about being sick and hungry and wanting to see her little granddaughter.

It also didn't help that Filch kept bursting into the room in hysterics, clutching Mrs. Norris like a pocket watch.

"I'm late!" He'd cry in a raspy voice, hopping in circles. "I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date!" Mrs. Norris would meow in pain as he swung her around. I had to keep pushing him out the door before Snape could get inside, which he was quite anxious to do.

After some time, I rationalized that the easiest thing to do was to occupy Snape with something else so he wouldn't keep trying to eat McGonagall.

I cracked open the door, and looked down the hall. Snape was sitting against the wall, scratching his greasy scalp. He noticed me and jumped up.

I cleared my throat. "You're not looking for a little girl are you?"

Snape hesitated, staring at me searchingly.

"Sure," I continued, "a little girl with a red hood?"

He nodded and smiled, and I noticed a drop of drool on his chin.

"Follow me," I said, "I know where she is." I started down the hallway.

Snape looked at the Transfiguration classroom and then back at me. He wiped the drool from his lips, and followed me. I planned to take him back down to the dungeons, hoping to get him locked in a room down there to keep him out of trouble.

Everyone we passed on the way down was acting like characters from storybooks. They were each engulfed in their own little worlds, ignoring everyone who wasn't involved in their story or fairy tale.

Ignoring everyone except me, that is. I was bombarded with questions, and sometimes I would have to keep myself from laughing at the characters some people got stuck with.

Crabbe and Goyle were gathering up sticks and straw, presumably to build their houses. I couldn't think of better candidates for two little pigs, even though Crabbe and Goyle aren't actually little at all. A large Ravenclaw boy was carrying a pile of bricks, telling Crabbe and Goyle that they were lazy and their houses wouldn't be safe from a big bad wolf. I had to keep Snape going to keep him from getting any ideas. I knew he was after Little Red Riding Hood, but I didn't want him to become confused and turn into the Big Bad Wolf.

I also couldn't help but wonder who the Big Bad Wolf was, but then realized I wouldn't be as keen to help Crabbe and Goyle out and would just let the Wolf attack them.

I looked outside a window down to the greenhouses, where I could see Colin Creevy trying to climb one of the larger plants as if it were a beanstalk. Unfortunate for him, the plant he was attempting to climb was a small Whomping Willow, and even though it was far less violent than the full-grown one, it was giving Colin quite a difficult time.

The best part, though, was when Malfoy ran crazily down the corridor wearing absolutely nothing. He must have been the emperor from The Emperor's New Clothes, and I wished more than anything I could have had Colin's camera to capture the moment forever.

Then I saw Ginny Weasley.

I gasped and shoved Snape into the closest room, shutting the door after him. I leaned up against the door with all my might.

"Hi!" I said to her casually, staring at the red hood covering her red hair.

"I'm sorry, I can't stop to talk," she said with a small smile, "I'm on my way to my sick grandma's house."

"Of course you are," I said, pushing on the door. Snape was trying to get out, and making a noisy racket in doing so.

Ginny stared at me curiously.

"Go!" I yelled, heaving my weight against the door. "I mean, Grandma's house is that way. You'd better hurry!"

She didn't waste another second and continued on her way.

I opened the door when she was out of sight.

"Why did you do that?" Snape yelled. "You said you were going to bring me right to her!

"That wasn't her," I said quickly. "It was my friend Ginny. She was really on her way to her... uncle's house..." I bit my bottom lip, and then my eyes lit up. "Her uncle is a woodcutter."

Snape calmed down immediately.

"Woodcutter?"

"Yes."

"I hate woodcutters," Snape growled. "Let's go."

I sighed to myself, leading Snape down a set of stairs. We got all the way to the dungeons, past the seven first year dwarfs.

"Hi Ho!" they saluted. One of them sneezed.

I decided to lock Snape in his own classroom, so that I could remember where he was. With all the rooms down in the dungeons, I wouldn't want to lose him. Actually... that wouldn't be so bad...

I needed him in the classroom because I was thinking about using a sleeping draught on him, and I knew there was a vial of it in his desk. Convincing him to take it was harder.

"What do you mean magic?" Snape asked suspiciously.

"I mean, when you drink it, you'll be able to smell Little Red Riding Hood even from very, very far away." I held it up and shook the vial a little.

"I can already smell her from far away," he grumbled.

"This will let you smell... through walls!" I said, and then grimaced, realizing that it wasn't the most intelligent thing I've ever said.

"Through walls, eh?"

I couldn't believe it, but he actually considered taking it.

"Fine," he said, stretching out his arm to take the vial. I handed it to him and he downed it right away. He fell to the floor without any reaction at all.

I shut the door, locking it with a simple spell, knowing that Snape wouldn't know how to use his wand to unlock it if he did wake up before everything was over.

Next, I needed to find Ron and Hermione. I hoped that they somehow were unaffected by the Fantasy Tonic as I ran up to the Gryffindor common room. I wondered if they would even be there, but I found out once I got through the portrait (the password had, ironically, been changed to 'fairy dust' earlier that week).

I found Hermione and Ron all right, but almost wished I hadn't.