Mihi Dic
Chapter Two / Surrender
The light in the room had dimmed significantly and Jack was obliged to light another candle. Meanwhile Stephen soothed Killick by assisting him with his duty. Jack listened in aggravated silence as the steward continued to grumble, Stephen making noncommittal answers and the metallic sound of the silver being cleared away. He was almost done fitting the new wax into the candelabra when he heard Killick's last mumble about ink on the cloth again and then the creak and click of the door.
"I've said, in the past, that I have never doubted your ability to command," Began Stephen as he made himself once again comfortable in his chair. "And I stand by that statement now...now that I have seen first hand the command of another." A sigh and then, "It wasn't life changing per say. I merely found myself quite miserable and...and in a situation I had never experienced before." Stephen finished. Jack leaned over the table and rested his head on one hand. "You'll forgive me Stephen, but I fail to grasp your meaning." "When I arrived yes, I took a great tumble into the water." He smiled slightly. "I did a bit of damage to my head and broke a rib or two." He dismissed his friends' concerned look and went on. "I found my self under the care of McAdam and you know what I think of that man." McAdam, the Nereid's doctor whom Stephen had never comprehended. How he detested that man. His voice was becoming a bit angry, then soft again. "But I relented and stayed a bed for several days. I found Captain Clonfert to be entertaining and grew quite fond of him; he stayed near and at hand to keep me company. I was in good spirits for the most part and when we went ashore. That time on land, it littered with close calls and a good loss of life." Again he dismissed another concerned look. "No, no nothing specific. I've not ye come to what truly grieved me." Jack silently waited, not sure of what to say.
"When we boarded the ship again we were soon engaging the Bellone. Their shore fire was concentrated on us. It was frighteningly loud and a horrific sight." Here Jack came to what he had guessed. "You were not below? Not with McAdam? Your station is with the wounded Stephen." Jack told him, expecting an explanation. "Do you think I was on deck by my own choice?" Stephen justified. "Clonfert was eager to show me, and I quote: 'something to be compared with what you have seen with Commodore Aubrey.'" Stephen acknowledged Jack's relent and went on. "What he did not know was that all I have seen with you has been below, covered in blood, yes, frightened yes, in danger, yes. But all the while it stands that I am no friend to violence. I have never desired to lend a hand on deck during your engagements." A moment passed of silence. "I have seen its consequences, but never the act itself." "I'm sorry Stephen, I will be sure to send orders with you in the future. That you are to be in the orlop with the wounded during any engagement." The Commodore's massive hand covered his face in thought as Stephen slipped into a strong reverie. "I did not know what I was to do. Was it my duty to stand and be shot at, to stand with nothing to do? I was at a loss. When finally they sent for me from below. McAdam had drunk himself into a stupor. He was useless and of no medical help at all." He said angrily, gritting his teeth. "I heard them call for a path for the captain and they laid him before me." His speech was slow and deliberate. "As I've said I had grown fond of him, however pompous he may seem at times." "Was he badly wounded?" "Yes, I've seen much, much worse, do not misunderstand me. He must have been in so much pain though. He did show incredible strength and was hobbling back up before even I was quite sure he should." A thoughtful pause followed. "He must be in pain even now, wherever he has ended up. Surrendered by now, I'm sure. It was dark when he came below again. The man was walking around unconscious." The sound of the bell came drifting through the cabin and many feet scrambling to their watch. Jack only flinched an eye upward in recognition to the change of watch. "He began to call each of the wounded men by name and he spoke with them. Twenty-seven dead. That was the count before I lead him to rest in the dead purser's cot. Showed him how to rest his head so not to endanger his wound." "They were still firing?" Jack asked after a moment. "It stopped for a short while and in the morning it began again. It was a rather slow death, the poor old ship." "Indeed." Said Jack, remembering the official reports he had received after Stephen's arrival. "The Nereides could not strike her colours so the Bellone kept on firing. They brought down the mizzen instead. I came up on deck as it fell. I begged leave of Clonfert, he was not himself, and I escaped. The Nereide was resting on the sea-bed as I made for the Sirius." Stephen ended here and looked up to the Commodore. "Captain Pym received you well there I hope." He asked. "I cannot complain but his attitude did not raise my opinion of him. He refused to assist the Nereide and soon I was taking my leave." The retelling ended here and Jack understood finally the melancholic Doctor that had appeared on his ship days before. This experience; a small fire to sea-hardened Jack Aubrey was certainly more of a bonfire to Stephen who exercised his bravery behind the scenes of every other engagement. "I did not want to appear..." Stephen stopped, searching for the right words. "Weak?" Jack offered and Stephen's head nodded in agreement. "Stephen, brother. To me you are who you are. If you feel something, I would rather know of it than to think something about you that is not true. Do you understand me?" The last line Stephen had heard belted out to many a midshipman, came softly for once from him and he felt comforted. Looking across the table, in the fading light he smiled. "I understand you."
TBC. Much more brain prodding to come...that ain't all.
The light in the room had dimmed significantly and Jack was obliged to light another candle. Meanwhile Stephen soothed Killick by assisting him with his duty. Jack listened in aggravated silence as the steward continued to grumble, Stephen making noncommittal answers and the metallic sound of the silver being cleared away. He was almost done fitting the new wax into the candelabra when he heard Killick's last mumble about ink on the cloth again and then the creak and click of the door.
"I've said, in the past, that I have never doubted your ability to command," Began Stephen as he made himself once again comfortable in his chair. "And I stand by that statement now...now that I have seen first hand the command of another." A sigh and then, "It wasn't life changing per say. I merely found myself quite miserable and...and in a situation I had never experienced before." Stephen finished. Jack leaned over the table and rested his head on one hand. "You'll forgive me Stephen, but I fail to grasp your meaning." "When I arrived yes, I took a great tumble into the water." He smiled slightly. "I did a bit of damage to my head and broke a rib or two." He dismissed his friends' concerned look and went on. "I found my self under the care of McAdam and you know what I think of that man." McAdam, the Nereid's doctor whom Stephen had never comprehended. How he detested that man. His voice was becoming a bit angry, then soft again. "But I relented and stayed a bed for several days. I found Captain Clonfert to be entertaining and grew quite fond of him; he stayed near and at hand to keep me company. I was in good spirits for the most part and when we went ashore. That time on land, it littered with close calls and a good loss of life." Again he dismissed another concerned look. "No, no nothing specific. I've not ye come to what truly grieved me." Jack silently waited, not sure of what to say.
"When we boarded the ship again we were soon engaging the Bellone. Their shore fire was concentrated on us. It was frighteningly loud and a horrific sight." Here Jack came to what he had guessed. "You were not below? Not with McAdam? Your station is with the wounded Stephen." Jack told him, expecting an explanation. "Do you think I was on deck by my own choice?" Stephen justified. "Clonfert was eager to show me, and I quote: 'something to be compared with what you have seen with Commodore Aubrey.'" Stephen acknowledged Jack's relent and went on. "What he did not know was that all I have seen with you has been below, covered in blood, yes, frightened yes, in danger, yes. But all the while it stands that I am no friend to violence. I have never desired to lend a hand on deck during your engagements." A moment passed of silence. "I have seen its consequences, but never the act itself." "I'm sorry Stephen, I will be sure to send orders with you in the future. That you are to be in the orlop with the wounded during any engagement." The Commodore's massive hand covered his face in thought as Stephen slipped into a strong reverie. "I did not know what I was to do. Was it my duty to stand and be shot at, to stand with nothing to do? I was at a loss. When finally they sent for me from below. McAdam had drunk himself into a stupor. He was useless and of no medical help at all." He said angrily, gritting his teeth. "I heard them call for a path for the captain and they laid him before me." His speech was slow and deliberate. "As I've said I had grown fond of him, however pompous he may seem at times." "Was he badly wounded?" "Yes, I've seen much, much worse, do not misunderstand me. He must have been in so much pain though. He did show incredible strength and was hobbling back up before even I was quite sure he should." A thoughtful pause followed. "He must be in pain even now, wherever he has ended up. Surrendered by now, I'm sure. It was dark when he came below again. The man was walking around unconscious." The sound of the bell came drifting through the cabin and many feet scrambling to their watch. Jack only flinched an eye upward in recognition to the change of watch. "He began to call each of the wounded men by name and he spoke with them. Twenty-seven dead. That was the count before I lead him to rest in the dead purser's cot. Showed him how to rest his head so not to endanger his wound." "They were still firing?" Jack asked after a moment. "It stopped for a short while and in the morning it began again. It was a rather slow death, the poor old ship." "Indeed." Said Jack, remembering the official reports he had received after Stephen's arrival. "The Nereides could not strike her colours so the Bellone kept on firing. They brought down the mizzen instead. I came up on deck as it fell. I begged leave of Clonfert, he was not himself, and I escaped. The Nereide was resting on the sea-bed as I made for the Sirius." Stephen ended here and looked up to the Commodore. "Captain Pym received you well there I hope." He asked. "I cannot complain but his attitude did not raise my opinion of him. He refused to assist the Nereide and soon I was taking my leave." The retelling ended here and Jack understood finally the melancholic Doctor that had appeared on his ship days before. This experience; a small fire to sea-hardened Jack Aubrey was certainly more of a bonfire to Stephen who exercised his bravery behind the scenes of every other engagement. "I did not want to appear..." Stephen stopped, searching for the right words. "Weak?" Jack offered and Stephen's head nodded in agreement. "Stephen, brother. To me you are who you are. If you feel something, I would rather know of it than to think something about you that is not true. Do you understand me?" The last line Stephen had heard belted out to many a midshipman, came softly for once from him and he felt comforted. Looking across the table, in the fading light he smiled. "I understand you."
TBC. Much more brain prodding to come...that ain't all.