Fugen: You all like me! You all really like me!
Hiei: They mean the fic, not you, baka.
Fugen: OO (sniff) H-Hiei...he...HE HATES ME! (all-out wailing)
Kurama: Now, now, Fugen-chan, he doesn't really mean that.
Hiei: Yes I do.
Kurama: (whispers) Just say you do before she drowns us all.
Fugen: I heard that!
Hiei & Kurama: Uh-oh.
Fugen: Now, as my revenge, in this chapter, I shall PAIR HIEI WITH KUWABARA AND
HAVE KURAMA THROWN INTO THE TRASH, NEVER TO RETURN! WHA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA! WHA HA HA HA HA HA! FEAR ME!!!!
Chapter 3: Lunch Time
By now, everyone had learned that when Hiei 'stares' at something, particularly if he looked
bored, he was liable to throw it. So, as a precaution, Kuwabara stood outside in the hallway
(out of sight, out of target range), and everyone but two certain babies were on full alert. Well,
then there was Yukina, who never seemed to be bothered by anything, even the fact that she
had a Kuwabara-hating-and-hitting fire demon infant in her lap.
Kurama stood on the tabletop, hungrily eating up the sweet bowl of applesauce Keiko had
set before him. Hiei wasn't eating at the moment, mainly because he still had a red whistle in his
mouth. He'd blow it whenever Yukina held the spoonful of applesauce anywhere near his
mouth, thusly having Kurama promptly stop eating...from his bowl, anyway. After every shrill
whistle Kurama would jump over, devour all the applesauce in the spoon Yukina was holding,
and then return to his own bowl.
"Don't you like applesauce, Hiei-chan?" Yukina asked patiently and sweetly. In his hiding
place on the other side of the kitchen wall, Kuwabara practically set himself on fire with
jealousy. Hiei, meanwhile, just looked at Yukina, then blew.
Fweee!
Stop. Run. Glomp. Run back.
"If he transforms back into a human, and he turns out mega fat, get me a camera, quick,"
Yusuke told Keiko eagerly. His girlfriend shot him a admonishing look, but Shizuru gave Yusuke
a wink Keiko didn't see, a unspoken promise to have a Polaroid camera ready just in case.
Soon Kurama had finished with his portion, and Yusuke had him in a tight grip as Yukina
kept on trying to get Hiei to at least get the whistle out of his mouth. Stubbornly Hiei turned his
head away from Yukina's pleading hand, disappointed that, when he whistled, Kurama no
longer came. Of course, it was no fault of the kitsune's, but it still disappointed Hiei nevertheless.
"Just give up, Yukina," Botan burst out. "It's hopeless. He'll NEVER eat!" "Too bad
Kurama was turned into a baby too," Yusuke mused aloud. "He always could get Hiei to do
stuff. Hey!"
At that moment Kurama wriggled out of Yusuke's grasp and leapt onto the table. Running
over to Hiei, Kurama swiped the spoonful of applesauce in his mouth from Yukina. Then, he
began licking Hiei's face all over, layering it with applesauce. Startled, Hiei opened his mouth,
letting the whistle drop from it. A pitiable mewling sound came from Hiei, who tried to wipe off
the applesauce from his face.
"Bad kitsune, bad," Yukina said reproachfully to a non-paying attention kitsune. She picked
up a napkin and wiped away the pale golden sauce from Hiei's face. Looking as if he was on the
verge of tears, Hiei put his fingers in his mouth without remembering that he had applesauce all
over his hands. Almost immediately his face lit up in delighted surprise. Noticing it, Yukina took
another spoonful of applesauce and held it near Hiei's mouth. This time, the baby han-koorime
leaned forward and ate it (the applesauce, mind you, not the spoon).
Rolling his eyes, Yusuke muttered, "NOW he likes it. Don't like trying new things, do you,
Hiei?" Hiei paid no attention. He was too busy eating and enjoying the sweet coldness in his
mouth, a delicious new food, although not as good as sweet snow.
When he took a cautious peek round the doorway, Kuwabara was relieved to find that Hiei
was fully occupied (as was Kurama, who was licking of all remaining applesauce off Hiei's
face). Assured that he would not be the target of any more inanimate objects, Kuwabara
entered the kitchen and stood by Yukina.
(Author's Note: [Hushed documentary type voice] I now take this moment to educate you all
in the art of fooling one's prey. In both the wild and the domesticated, or anything at least slightly
related, predators all have different methods of luring their prey into what I call 'the Kuwabara
State of Mind', more commonly known as a false sense of security. What happens when an
unwary prey steps into such a state of mind, you ask. Well, let us continue on and see the results
of 'Han-Koorime Infant Vs. Tall Ugly Ningen.')
Hiei ate a couple of more spoonfuls before suddenly freezing. Worriedly Yukina asked,
"What's wrong, Hiei-chan? Does it suddenly taste very bad?" "Probably a seriously disgusting
aftertaste. It's possible, since Keiko made it," Yusuke said innocently.
(A/N: [hushed documentary voice] We pause now in our first documentary in order to avoid
a ghastly scene that completely contradicts the rule of the jungle: females are the weaker sex.
Parents, take your children away immediately. Unfortunately, we cannot put a stop to wild
imaginations of violent scenes.)
Stiffly Hiei turned his head, saw Kuwabara, and...
Spit. Splat. "Arrggghhhh!"
"Ahhhh! Mush monster!"
"Guh."
"Oh, look. Hiei-chan is very proud of himself."
"Of covering up my brother's face? He should be."
"Rrrrrrr." (Lick, lick.)
"Oh, look at you. You've got applesauce on your clothes. We'll have to give you a bath."
"Keep that on, Kuwabara. It covers up your face."
"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!"
"Guh...Guh!"
"What's wrong? Oh, I see. Here you are."
Fweee!
Scamper.
(A/N: [hushed documentary type voice] We have just witnessed a fabulous example of
wildlife, as well as a excellent demonstration of the 'Kuwabara State of Mind' affliction,
otherwise more commonly known as a false sense of security, or mere stupidity. Thank you, and
good-bye. Tune in next time.)
Owari (for now)
Hiei: Thank the gods...
Kurama: No pairing with Kuwabara, and no trash for me.
Fugen: It was really tempting, since you two were being REALLY MEAN TO ME!!!! (sobs)
Hiei: ...sorry.
Fugen: (sniffle) Huh?
Hiei: I said...sorry.
Fugen: HE LOVES ME!
Hiei: I do not! Kurama!
Fugen: Heh heh. Sorry for the scare. Oh, and I forgot to do thank yous for my reviews. Sorry,
Hiei and Kurama just got me really mad when I first start writing, so here goes.
To jus Kita: Gomen, but no mini-katana for Hiei. We can't have that. If Hiei slashed Kuwabara
up into sushi, well, first of all, we'd have immortal diarrhea, and second of all, who would else
would bring Hiei such satisfying torture? Arigato for the longest review anyone has ever sent me!
(and I wholly agree with the Hiei being kawaii part)
To What2callmyself: You know better than to ask. It'd spoil everything! Thank you for your
review.
To Yu Yu Fan: I'll do my best to update often, but starting next week, I might be very busy.
Arigato and thank you for your ongoing support!
To Elementaldemoness: Thanks! I try very hard to make this fic full of kawaii chibiness, it's
not as easy as it seems.
To Tifa16: You really think so? Arigato gozaimas! Please continue to review my fic! I promise
the cuteness WILL continue!
To Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: Thank you, thank you, especially for reviewing more than
just one of my fics. I hope you like them all along with my future ones! Arigato especially to you!