Woops! I forgot to do this last time! Heheh, well you can't be too mean since it was my first ever posting! Sniff, I can't believe that it's become a reality after all these months of writing.
Thanks to these three people, my first reviewers!:
Super Poodle~ Hmmm, I'm taking that death threat as you way of saying "Hurry up and write more cause I'm really loving it!" feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. The funny part is that I just read your fic Mystic Models and am completely loving it.*^_~*
ShadowedSoul~Yay! I have talent!! You don't know how much your comment boosted my confidence! Thanks SO Much!! And no, you won't have to wait till 37. I have the first 4 parts of this fic written but I'm sorry to say there isn't much 1x2 action. ;_; I promise not to let ya down though!!
Shadowfax~ Course I'll write more!! Glad you like my sorry-ass excuse for a beginning, I didn't do very good with the chapter breakups at first.-_-
So anyway, I don't own Gundam Wing or it's respective characters, nor do I own "Somewhere Out There" which is a super-awesome-converse-rockin' song by Our Lady Peace! Oh and all those other songs I took lyrics from, don't own them either. Well without further ado, Part 2!!
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/~_*_~\
Walking back in artificial light created by towering skyscrapers, Heero hunched further into the warmth of his jacket and tightened his scarf. It was early December and according to the weather reports it could snow at any time. He passed by people holding packages and bags, schoolgirls in their winter uniforms with pastel cell phones plastered to their ears and businessmen on their way home from pushing papers all day. As he neared his apartment building, the cobalt-eyed youth thought of his newest writing assignment; "A person you wish you could have saved."
His teacher was a woman who just passed midlife, but not someone you would call old. She wore brightly colored skirts from India and kept her white hair pulled back in a loose braid. She had no prejudices and respected anyone's principles as long as they could stand up for them. The only thing she expected was for her students to write with their souls. For Heero Yuy, this was like expecting him to fight off a fleet of mobile suits armed only with a pistol. The first assignment given was for each student to write about their pasts, all of the students pulled notepads out and started jotting down ideas and phrases. Heero Yuy sat upright in his chair with his hands folded and not moving. As his teacher passed by his desk she said in something close to a whisper, "See me after class and we'll discuss the matter."
It was she who opened him up eventually. She told him that on paper he wouldn't be judged, and that the only possibility was success. But when it came time to hand in the assignments, Heero handed in a mission report. It wasn't until the third assignment that he began to open up in his writing; and in his emotions.
~Laid underneath the stars, strung out and feeling brave.
Watch the riddles glow, watch them float away.~
That night in June had changed everything for him; the one-year anniversary of the last time he had talked to Duo. It was a clear night and the heat was almost unbearable. He had gone out to lie on his balcony in hopes he could get some sleep out in the open air. Pillow under head and looking up at the sky, he thought of the person he was during the war compared to the person he was now. During the war he adapted to any mission parameters; he thought only of the mission. But now that he had no more missions to carry out, was it the soldier in him that decided to let his true self take on the problem of adapting to a domesticated lifestyle? He wasn't sure if he knew the answer, but he hoped that it wasn't just another adaptation made to carry out the mission; he wanted it to be his true self.
His thoughts wandered and soon he was thinking about Duo and how they had shared so much during the war. Duo may have been a prankster, but he was a hell of a good pilot. The maniacal laugh that rang through the com-link during battles wasn't as intimidating as the serious tone that lay just under the surface of his violet orbs. A scary Duo Maxwell was a serious one. The more Heero allowed himself to think about Duo, the more he realized how much he missed his braided comrade. After Duo went missing in June of the previous year, Heero had spent a full week searching for any traces of him. His efforts came to no avail, but he continued the search on and off in the following months, and by December of that year he had stopped all together.
Duo Maxwell was a jokester, but he was even better at thinking up riddles and cryptic messages. Heero had never had time to think about Duo's metaphors during the war or for months afterwards. Or maybe it was that he didn't want to think about them because he had been programmed to think that anything not directly linked to the mission didn't deserve his time. But now on this June night, with no mission holding his life in its cold gundanium grip, Heero pondered the riddle Duo had told him in their last conversation a year ago.
/~_*_~\
It wasn't a riddle at all really, but since Heero was only able to interpret straightforward conversation at that point, Duo may as well have been speaking in an ancient language that had died out with its people centuries ago. And that may have been the reason Duo had spoken the way he had. Maybe he didn't really want Heero to understand what he was saying just yet, but the simple act of getting everything out in the open helped unburden his conscience.
Heero Yuy was stoically typing at his laptop when an incoming com-link popped up on his screen. Duo Maxwell's smiling face greeted the Wing Gundam pilot as he bid the Deathsythe pilot hello.
"Hey Heero old pal! Haven't seen ya in a while but I thought I'd call ya so ya wouldn't worry too much about me."
"Why would I worry about you? You are perfectly capable of living with out my constant supervision," Heero's monotone reply conveyed that he was not in the mood for chit chat so Duo Maxwell had better have a good reason for calling him up at noon on a Monday in June.
"Well," Duo shrugged, "you might worry about me in the future. So I'm giving you a call to say tell you not to if you ever do."
"Hn,"
"I see you haven't developed your vocabulary any further from our time during the war," Duo chuckled and leaned back into the chair he was sitting in. They sat for a few minutes in silence. Duo seemed to be contemplating something peacefully with his head thrown back against the backrest of his office chair. This only aggravated Heero further until he couldn't take it anymore and pulled Duo out of his reverie with a growl.
"Oh sorry about that," Duo sat up in his chair, but his usual grin had mellowed into a neutral expression.
"Duo, what is it that you want?" Heero was moving beyond aggravation to almost anger. If Duo thought that he had time to waste sitting here while the braided-baka daydreamed then maybe someone should start to worry about Duo's lifespan.
"I have something very important I need to tell you before something big happens to us. I've carried this with me since during the war, but I never said anything about it until now because it never seemed to have any value. Now that I'm faced with a big change, I feel I need to unburden myself of it before this chance slips away into oblivion," Duo closed his eyes and sighed heavily. When his eyes lifted, a great sorrow and seriousness played in the depths of violet. Heero noticed this change and tensed. He listened fully to what Duo said next, though he hadn't the faintest idea why it was so important.
"I realize now how horrific the war actually was. During all those missions, all those brushes with death, I treated it as a game. Because of that I fear that the war will haunt me even more now then it did during those sleepless nights where the screams of agony chimed through my head. It was a child's game to me, and for that I am sorry Heero. You understood the war fully, you always remembered the reason we fought was for the colonies, and not for the petty revenge I felt compelled to enact," Duo pleaded to Heero with his eyes, he needed to know that the Wing pilot understood that he was admitting his weakness to him. Heero gave a curt nod and Duo continued.
"The war will hold tender memories for me also though. The shards of a normal life I caught in the many boarding schools where we stayed, in a short game of basketball here and there, and even in sipping tea in one of Quatre's mansions. I will try to think of those times with you and the other pilots with out the stain of blood I now associate with the war. Heero," Duo paused and took in a deep breath, "I will remember you the best and most fondly I think," Duo smiled slightly "If I'm feeling down, I'll think about how we had to spend all those nights in those awful dorm rooms and laugh. I'll think of your determination when I feel that I can't go any further," Duo paused and suddenly look uncomfortable, "So basically, I'll think of you."
Heero Yuy had no idea what to say. He had no idea why any of this was so earth shattering that Duo had to spout it off as if he was on his deathbed. And then again there was an almost insignificant part of him that felt a pang of gratitude to know that Duo Maxwell regarded him so highly. He simply scowled at Duo through the com-link and said nothing. Duo sighed at his reaction and smiled his cheesiest grin,
"Well Heero it's been nice talking to ya. Just remember that I said not to worry about me alright?" With a wave he severed the com-link. If Heero Yuy had known that he wouldn't hear from Duo Maxwell again he might have listened to that insignificant part of himself a bit more.
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Heero Yuy laid on his balcony and looked up at the night sky. His green tank top was battered and thread worn, but he only wore it on warm nights like this. He thought of his last conversation with Duo and now regretted every word he had said. That insignificant part had grown since then and now was a full-fledged influence in the mind of Heero Yuy. He now lived with compassion and emotion, but still they were in check and not at all flamboyant. He was close to being a normal person, a recluse none the same, but a normal one.
Heero hadn't thought of that conversation again till this night. He felt at ease with his emotions now and thought that he might be able to uncover the message behind Duo's unburdening to him. Heero lay with his eyes closed and head resting on his arms as he let the remembered words slip through his mind. With a jolt he sat up; he understood what Duo was trying to tell him. And remembering his own actions made him feel even more like an ass. Duo had been planning on leaving it seemed. How long he had been making plans for his exit from society was anyone's guess, but the plans were most likely detailed to the last stitch. Duo had wanted to tell Heero before he left. He knew that Heero wouldn't understand, but he had the faintest hope that he would. Duo Maxwell had told Heero that he cared for him in order to take care of any loose threads. Heero Yuy had not understood and didn't even give Duo the satisfaction of being rejected; he left him unknowing and hurting. But the more Heero thought about it, the more he realized that if he had understood what Duo was telling him, he wouldn't have rejected the baka at all. Somewhere along the way, the violet-eyed Shinigami had made his way into Heero's gundanium heart.
Heero's search was picked up anew with even more vigor than his first. Now it wasn't his duty to find Duo, it was a need that he had to fulfill. But unfortunately, 68 hours of lost sleep, 20 pots of coffee and $500 worth of Internet usage later, Heero came out where he started, if not on the negative side.
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He entered through the glass doors of his apartment building and into the marble tiled foyer. It was an upscale complex where the majority of the occupants were doctors or well-known artists. Many residents wondered how it was that an 18-year-old boy was able to afford the high rate rent, but many shrugged it off as he continued to live in the building. If any had inquired of the ex-pilot how he managed to afford classes, food and rent on the measly amount he made from computer programming, he probably would have told them he managed and it wasn't there business.
OZ generals were paid well. Many of them had special OZ bank accounts where their hefty paychecks were deposited. With every base destroyed during the war, generals and officers were killed. Heero Yuy used his hacking skills to transfer money from all the executed men's accounts into his own secure one. He also had made a princely sum of money during the six months he had worked for Relena. Being as delusional as she was, she had offered to pay him 7 times the regular wage of bodyguards because she figured that once Heero married her, the money would go back to her anyway. But she couldn't back out of the deal even when he did leave, because unlike Heero having to worship her, the salary she set was in his contract.
Heero unlocked the door to his dark and empty apartment. The silence felt even more weighted tonight. Maybe it was because he had been thinking of Duo so much that day. Whenever Duo was around there never seemed to be silence. Though he had hated it at the time, Heero found himself longing for that incessant chatter and constant noise.
Duo would play loud angry music before every mission. He said it helped him get pumped up and kick-started his adrenaline. Heero had just glared at him and told him it was a waste of energy and that if he would perform poorly during the mission if he put too much into his head banging. Duo would grin and turn up the volume of his stereo another three notches.
Heero missed that music; he spent hours in record stores looking for it, but since he knew nothing about it, not even a line or two from any of the songs it was near impossible for him to ever find it again. But every time he went into a record store he always bought something. There was always a cover that caught his eye, something that Duo had listened to three years ago. At the present time his collection consisted of 30 rock albums. Even though he never found Duo's favorite album, it comforted Heero in a way knowing he was listening to Duo's music, almost as if it was Duo himself.
Heero flipped on the light switch and toed off his shoes. His white socked-feet padded across the hardwood floor of his apartment to his stereo. With the press of a button the silence was broken. If he closed his eyes, Heero could almost feel like he was lying in a dorm room with Duo.
Duo. Why had he thought of him so much that day? He didn't usually, only occasionally when he would be reminded of him. Heero felt a pang in his chest thinking about how long it had been since he had seen Duo last. Where had he gone?
~Down here in the atmosphere,
garbage and city lights,
You gotta save your tired soul, you gotta save our lives.~
Heero looked out the glass French doors that opened to his balcony. The city was the same as the colonies, dirty and full of people. Sometimes he wished that he could escape it, but where could he go? Maybe that was why Duo left, maybe he had found somewhere he could escape to. So much had rested on them during the war, every living person had them to thank for the peace they were living in presently. The fate of the world is a heavy burden on a 15 year-old's shoulders. Maybe he needed to get away from it all.
Duo had told him once that when you listen to the right music with your eyes closed, you feel like your somewhere entirely different, like taking a three and a half minute vacation. Heero understood this now. But this time Duo needed more than three minutes of vacation. Then a thought struck him; what if Duo's music vacations were connected to the real escape Duo dreamed of? He ran to his CD rack and began looking at backs.
Many of the songs were about leaving your stressful life behind for a simple life of surf and sun. Then there were the anthems of teen angst in which the song focused on not living the dead end life of a nine-to-five. Heero drew the conclusion that Duo wanted to live by the ocean in the shade of a palm tree. There were endless stretches of beach all over the world, how could he ever hope to find Duo? Searching the lyrics for an answer Heero found one of interest. "The beaches San Diego", San Diego, that was in California. Heero was closer than he had ever been.
~Turn on the radio, to find you on satellite,
I'm waiting for the sky to fall, I'm waiting for a sign.~
He had to think of a course of action to take. While booting up his laptop, Heero's mind raced through different ways to find Duo. San Diego was a large city, and the chance that Duo was listed anywhere, or had even kept the name Maxwell was slim. Shinigami couldn't be found if he didn't want to be found. No, this was not going to be an easy look him up in the phone book ordeal, Heero would have to find Duo by unconventional means.
Well if Duo's music had got him this far, maybe it would continue to lead the way to the hidden violet-eyed pilot. Opening a search engine, Heero's fingers raced over the keyboard 'San Diego radio stations' He hit enter and the screen loaded in his results. Heero went through the list, checking out play lists for each station, contest winners, anything that might help.
Three hours later and result number #34, Heero was becoming discouraged.
"One more page," He whispered to the still air.
A click on the next result and the screen went black. Then icons began to load in, e-mail the djs, play lists, upcoming shows and contests, and others. Heero scrolled down through the main page and then something caught his eye, "Streaming Live, World Wide" Heero clicked on the icon, "Why not?" he asked himself. A jukebox popped up and green letters spelled LOADING across the front of it. And then there was noise.
"Hey San Diego! How's this lovely December day treating everyone out there?"
The DJ sounded in English from Heero's speakers.
"Stainger, here, member number one of the National DJ Hall of Fame. Comin' up this hour I'll be playing some new music for you all but before that I have a special request. This one goes out to you Shinigami my man!" Heero's ears perked up, had he heard right? Then a familiar music filled the air. Heero's thoughts scrounged for the memory as he listened to the heavy bass of the song and the familiar guitar riffs. At the first of the lyrics he knew what it was.
"Could you be lost? Are you so free; do you long to be?"
It was the song he had been looking for, his favorite of Duo's collection. Either Heero had found Duo, or fate was trying to give him an encouraging sign. If nothing else, he would know the name of the band so he could get the CD next time he went out.
Heero leaned back in his chair and let the music wash over him. It gave him the chills and millions of memories of Duo flooded his head and played out before his closed eyelids. Maybe this time Fate had dealt him a winning card.
Well???? Did it suck major, or did I do kinda, sorta, okay? I hope to hear from some of you in the review thingie, but if ya don't, s'ok too. Next part will be up next week sometime, can't post it all at once ya know. Oh and any surgestions for a song I can use in the follow up fic? I have a few thoughts already but I always welcome ideas! Luvies to all!
~Kaitou Rinna-chan