Disclaimer: Spongebob Squarepants is the property of Nickelodeon/Viacom. This is just for fun, not for any profit.
Category: Humor/Gen
Rating: PG
Summary: Patrick does the forbidden. Spongebob panics. Hilarity ensues. (We hope.)

HOOKED!

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Another fine evening settled in over the Krusty Krab. Spongebob's fry cook's hat was carefully set over the door peg and he waved a cheery good-bye to Mr. Krabs who was busy counting the day's take. "Bye, Mr. Krabs!"

"Uh-huh," Mr. Krabs grunted, knowing instinctively a penny was missing. The smell of money just wasn't strong enough.

"Good-bye, Squidward," Spongebob added politely.

"Mmmph," Squidward grumbled, knowing that Mr. Krabs thought a penny was missing, which meant that he'd be there long after closing time. That was because Mr. Krabs was a penny-pinching, addled-brained, crackheaded crab with nickels for brains and he'd ...

"I said 'good-bye', Squidward," Spongebob repeated helpfully. Squidward's hearing wasn't that good, or so he liked to believe. Someone once mentioned something about Squidward ignoring him on purpose but that was ridiculous.

"I HEARD YOU, SPONGEBOB," Squidward snarled. "GOODNIGHT."

See? Ridiculous.

Spongebob bounced out the door, happy as a clam. Or a sponge. Whichever. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready ... for bed," he chanted.

Off to each side were the usual sights. The Chum Bucket where Plankton's maniacal laughter could be heard day and night. Mrs. Puff's little boating school, with its new sign on the door that said: "Please Pray For Spongebob to Graduate", Sandy's little hyperchamber bubble home and last, but not least, The Hook Field, where colorful hooks floated serenely, tempting all denizens of the deep to come and take a ride on their magical, but deadly points.

Spongebob had once succumbed to their evil charm, but he'd learned his lesson along with his best buddy Patrick, whom he saw right at that moment, in The Hook Field, gently swinging on a broken-backed minnow lure and ...

"PATRICK!" Spongebob screamed, his eyes nearly falling out of his head. He ran as near to The Hook Field as he dared. "What are you doing? The hooks are bad! Don't you remember what happened the last time we played here?"

Patrick looked at him quizzically. "I was here before?"

Spongebob sighed. Someone also once told him that Patrick was as dumb as a coral reef but that couldn't be right either, because he'd met some pretty smart coral reefs in his time, especially compared to Patrick.

"Yes, Patrick, you and I were both here before," said Spongebob slowly, hoping the information would sink in. "And we rode the hooks until Mr. Krabs explained to us why we shouldn't. Because we'd be taken up there ..." He pointed to the fathomless upper ocean for emphasis. "... and we'd be put in a can. In fact, you ended up in a can at one point. Don't you remember?"

Patrick scratched his top "arm". Or was it a fin? Even he wasn't sure. Starfish anatomy wasn't his best subject at school. He was much better at lunch. "Vaguely," he lied. He couldn't even "vaguely" remember what he had for breakfast. "But if I ended up in a can, wouldn't I be dead?"

"We have no time for stupid questions now, Patrick," Spongebob said firmly. "You have to get off those hooks, this instant!"

"But it's fun," Patrick protested. He swung on the lure for emphasis. "See? And it's free. I didn't have to pay a quarter or nuthin'"

"Aaauuugh!" Spongebob shrieked in horror as the lure began to bob up, up ... up ... "Patrick, get off of there, right now! Now!"

"La, la, la, la," Patrick sang, pretending not to hear Spongebob. Really pretending, not like Squidward's fake pretending. Or something like that. "I'm having fun and you're not. I'm having fun and you're ..."

WHOOSH!

Patrick was yanked into the wild blue yonder with horrifying suddenness.

"PATRICK!" Spongebob howled.

"SPONGEBOOOOOOOOOOB!" Patrick screamed back. "HEEELLLLP!"

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to be continued ...

Oh, no! Patrick is headed for the cannery. Spongebob is headed for a breakdown. Plankton is still laughing maniacally. What will happen next? Tune in next chapter to find out.

Review this chapter, if you DARE!

(Not that it's a big thing, but I'll take reviews any way I can get them. :-D