Disclaimer: Spongebob Squarepants is the property of Nickelodeon/Viacom. This is just for fun, not for any profit.
Category: Humor/Gen
Rating: PG
Summary: Patrick does the forbidden. Spongebob panics. Hilarity ensues. (We hope.)
HOOKED!
Chapter Two
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"I'll help you, pal!" Spongebob cried, running in circles. "I'll help you, I'll help you, I'll help you ..." he chanted continuously, slowly sinking into the rut his circle-running created.
By the time he reached his waist, he realized he wasn't helping Patrick at all. In fact, he didn't have a clue what to do. But if he couldn't figure out a way to save Pat, he knew who could.
"Mr. Krabs!" he yelled, running back at top speed to the Krustry Krab, where much to his relief, Mr. Krabs and Squidward were still standing behind the counter, arguing over that penny.
"I want me money, Mr. Squidward! I demand me money! And if you don't find it for me ... " Mr. Krabs threatened.
Squidward wasn't impressed. "You'll do what? Fire me from this amaaazing job? Oh, whoa is me." He threw his hat on the floor. "I'd have a better time on the unemployment line. So long. I'm out of here."
Spongebob jumped up and down, trying to get their attention. "Mr. Krabs! Squidward! Help!"
"Not now, boy. Mr. Squidward and I are discussing business."
"No, we're not. You're discussing business and I'm ignoring you," Squidward corrected. "Learn the difference."
"Please! You have to help me," Spongebob begged. "Patrick's gone!"
"And this is a problem, because?" Squidward asked, somewhat nastily. He and Patrick never got along that well. Not that Patrick ever noticed and not that Squidward ever got along with anyone really.
"Whoa, slow down lad," said Mr. Krabs, more sympathetically this time. "Where did Patrick go?"
Giant tears began to squeeze out of Spongebob's eyes as he tried to blubber out the story. One huge drop after the other, increasing in size and frequency until the entire Krusty Krab was in danger of being flooded.
"Oh, great." Squidward wrinkled his nose at the tear water that rose up to his knees. How he noticed the rising tear water when they are all in fact, under water, is another, much more complicated story you can read about in some logical universe, but for now, they were all in danger of drowning beneath Spongebob's tears.
Okay? Good.
"Could you cry a little bit on the dryer side, Spongebob? You're making me all pruney."
"Patrick ... playing ... hooks," Spongebob gulped.
Mr. Krabs looked horrified. "What did you say, lad? Did you say ... HOOKS?!"
Spongebob sniffled and nodded. "And I don't know what to do," he wailed. "You've got to help! Patrick can't survive for long up there."
"Spongebob," Squidward sighed. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of survival of the fittest, have you? Not to be cruel or anything, but Patrick wasn't exactly on the 'fit' side even when he was down here, if you know what I mean."
"He started on the South Beach diet just last week," protested Spongebob defensively. "He lost a whole four ounces. Of course that was mostly brain cells, but still ..."
"That's not what I meant, Spongebob," Squidward began, but Mr. Krabs stopped them both.
"We have to save the poor fellow, if not for his own sake, then for all of Bikini Bottom. Those hooks are a menace to us sea creatures," Mr. Krabs proclaimed. "Why just last week, two of my best customers were taken up and never seen again."
"Maybe if you fed them some real food, they wouldn't fall for those baits," Squidward retorted, but was again waved silent.
"And you know what they say, don't you, Spongebob?" Mr. Krabs waited for an answer, but when none was forthcoming, he continued. "A lost customer is less money and less money is a terrible, terrible thing."
"They say that, Mr. Krabs?" Spongebob asked thoughtfully. "Because I've never heard anyone but you say that."
Mr. Krabs ignored him. "Come on, lads," he cried to them both. "We're off to save Patrick."
"Uh, yeah," Squidward said slowly. "About that. See, I have a date tonight and ..."
Mr. Krabs laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Squidward. The last date you had was with your clarinet and a bottle of fermented kelp. Hee, hee, hee! You ... on a date! Ha!"
Squidward looked abashed. "How did you ...?"
"Hurry, lads," Mr. Krabs said, pulling both Spongebob and Squidward out the doors of the Krusty Krab. "We're off to save Patrick! No matter what!"
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to be continued ...
Uh-oh! With Mr. Krabs and Squidward on the hunt, the search for Patrick is sure to be a total disas ... uh, triumph! Tune in for Chapter Three and find out.
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