Disclaimer: Spongebob Squarepants is the property of Nickelodeon/Viacom. This is just for fun, not for any profit.
Category: Humor/Gen
Rating: PG
Summary: Patrick does the forbidden. Spongebob panics. Hilarity ensues. (We hope.)

HOOKED!
Chapter Three

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The Hook Field loomed large before them. Lures of every shape and color floated serenely alongside hooks upon which some poor land wiggler was impaled. Even more horrible were the bits of poor sea creatures who'd met their ultimate fates only to end up as bait to snare their unsuspecting fellows.

It was a horrible sight. Especially to Squidward, who tried to sneak away at least six times before Mr. Krabs clamped onto him with a crab-like grip. Crab-like because he was ... well ... a crab.

Examining the fishing lines, Mr. Krabs hemm'd and haw'd as Squidward unsuccessfully tried to pull out of his grasp, again. "Honestly, I have a date tonight! Ooomph!"

"Quiet you!" Mr. Krabs commanded, yanking Squidward back in place next to him. "I'm thinking."

"Please hurry," Spongebob implored. "Patrick needs us."

"Sorry, lad. You can't hurry great minds," Mr. Krabs said, ignoring Squidward's snort of derision.

"Yeah, I'm surrounded by great minds all right. Between you, Spongebob and the dearly departed Mr. Starr, it's practically a genius convention," Squidward moaned. "And to think, I could be watching Bikini Bottom Idol right now." He sighed a deep, deep sigh. "I could have won that show, you know. I tried out and everything."

Spongebob was intrigued. "Really? What happened, Squidward? Didn't they like your act?"

Squidward looked mortally offended. "It's not that they didn't like it, they couldn't like it. It was much too sophisticated for them."

Spongebob wasn't sure that was the case, but before he could question further, Mr. Krabs snapped his claws gleefully. "I got it! If we can't get Patrick back down here, we'll follow him up there. A quick ride up on the lures -- taking care not get hooked -- and we'll jump off into land creature territory, save Patrick and leap back into the water before you can say 'Davy Jones' Locker'. What do you think, boys?"

"Yay!" Spongebob cheered.

Squidward was nowhere near as optimistic. "I'm out of here," he proclaimed, only to be pinned firmly in place by Mr. Krabs.

"Oh no, you don't," Mr. Krabs said, holding up all eight of Squidward's tentacles, his large nose hanging downward, making him resemble a particularly sad piece of calamari on a fish counter. "You're coming too. There'll be no mutiny on this boat, Mr. Squidward."

"What boat?" Squidward cried, loosening himself with a huff. "I'm a minimum wage employee in a fast food joint. My only boat is the one that the cash register sits behind. I don't get paid enough to risk my life for someone who's too stupid to live."

"Nonsense!" Mr. Krabs snapped back. "I pay you plenty enough to do everything I say. If you want to keep your job, you'll be coming with us. All right, Spongebob, now let's pick out a hook ..."

Another voice entered the fray. "What ya'll doing?" It was Sandy Cheeks, the only underwater dwelling squirrel on the planet. The only underwater dwelling squirrel with a Southern accent, to boot. "I thought this place was off limits to you sea creatures?"

Spongebob waved to his pal. "Hi, Sandy! We just came down here to ride up to the surface, jump off into land creature territory, save Patrick and leap back in the water again before you can say 'Davy Jones Locker'. Although we'll have to say it pretty slowly, since I think doing all that will take a little bit longer than saying three words, but if we drag them out like Daaaaaavvvvvvy ... Jooooooo ...."

Sandy was astonished. "Whoa, fella. That's a whole lot of dangerous doings you boys are being up to. I mean, you don't really know all that much about land living do you? Those critters up there are mighty mean to sea creatures and there's the whole breathing thing ..."

"Yes! I knew someone would be sensible about this," Squidward said gratefully. "Thank you, Sandy!"

"So," Sandy continued. "I think it best that I be going with you. As a guide, sorta."

"Great!" Spongebob and Mr. Krabs said together.

"Nooo!" Squidward groaned, but it was too late. He found himself on the nearest lure (a none-too-comfortable plastic guppy), alongside Spongebob, Mr. Krabs and Sandy who'd picked their rides accordingly.

"And a one ... a two ... a three ..." Mr. Krabs counted down and ...

WHOOSH!

Off they went, up ... up ... and up, into the unknown and dangerous realm of the land creatures.

"Wheee!" cried Spongebob, holding on and obviously having the ride of his life.

"Heeeeeeeelp!" cried Squidward, before he, and everyone else, disappeared above the calm blue water.

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to be continued ...

Does Squidward really get paid enough to go through all this? Will he find a better job among the land creatures? Tune into Chapter Four to find out.

Reviews will cheer Squidward up until he finds that dream job. Honest!