I don't own Yu Gi Oh…have fun reading ch. 2
Counseling Hell
"Ba-ku-ra! Get up!"
Bakura felt himself falling off the couch and hitting the floor with a thud.
"What the hell…" He yelled opening his eyes to find Ryou standing over him.
"It's nine O'clock, time to get up. We have an appointment in an hour." Ryou left him sitting there on the floor as he went into the kitchen.
"Oh shit…" He grumbled, standing up and stumbling in the kitchen, where Malik was sitting drinking coffee and reading his favorite issue of Shonen Jump.
"What do you want for breakfast?" Ryou asked him as Bakura began his morning hunt for anything edible.
"I'll just make myself some toast." Bakura said, pulling out a loaf of bread.
"Suit yourself." Ryou shrugged. "I'm going to go take a shower."
Malik looked up at Ryou, as if begging him not to leave him alone with the insanely insane psychopath.
Ryou only smiled at him while he walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
Malik buried his nose in the magazine and tried his best to ignore the tomb robber, but his attempts were failing.
"Stupid piece of shit!" Bakura yelled, slamming his hand down on the bread, pushing it in the toaster.
"You know, there is a handle on it." Malik said looking over his magazine and eyeing Bakura as if he were the dumbest thing alive.
"Oh…" Bakura looked at the side of it and slid the lever down to the bottom, chuckling softly to himself. "Heh heh…imagine that."
"Baka." Malik muttered under his breath as he took another sip of coffee.
"So…nice day isn't it?" Bakura said as he sat down next to Malik and drummed his fingers on the table.
Malik simply grunted in response.
"Yea…"
Malik continued to read Shonen Jump and ignore Bakura.
"Malik, this is buggin the hell outta me…why are you so…so…"
"So?" Malik said, looking over the magazine again.
"So boring?" Bakura finally said. "I mean, remember the good ol' days when we would plot how to kill Yugi Mutou? Heh heh…that was fun."
Malik could feel his hands shaking with rage…he didn't want to remember those days.
"You used to be so evil, but now…well I'm sad to say it, but…you're just a sissy."
"Fuck you." Malik said quietly.
"Uh huh…that's what you used to say…" Bakura eyed him lewdly.
Bakura turned around and saw smoke coming from the toaster.
"Dammit!" He yelled when he tried to pop up the button. "It's stuck."
Bakura looked around the kitchen trying to find anything to un-stick the toast, when his eyes rested on a knife by the sink. He picked it up and jammed it in the toaster.
Malik just sat back and watched. "I don't think that's such a good idea." He cautioned halfheartedly.
"Shut up." Bakura snapped. "It's perfectly-Aah Shit!" He screamed, pulling his hand away. "The stupid thing shocked me!"
"Huh…imagine that." Malik said amusedly.
By now, the toaster was emitting black smoke, and Bakura, becoming desperate pulled it out of the socket and slammed it on the ground, breaking it in two.
"There, problem solved." He picked up the black toast from the floor and shoved it in his mouth.
"So…Bakura tell me. Why did you get evicted?"
"Oh…they said I was a fire hazard." Bakura shrugged, finishing his last bite of toast.
"Oh." Malik said, raising his eyebrows as he turned his attention back to his magazine.
* * *
The three boys sat in the reception area of the Marriage counselor's office in awkward silence until his secretary said that he was ready for them.
"Please have a seat." He said, motioning to a love seat made for two people, but Bakura managed to squeeze on the end.
"My name's Matachi Kajiki." He said as he crossed his legs in that "I'm going to evaluate you mentally" way.
"Um, hi. I'm Ryou, and this is my fiancé Malik."
"Congratulations." He said curtly shaking Malik's hand. "And you must be Bakura." Matachi outstretched his hand, but Bakura continued to sit there staring at him evilly. He had the sudden urge to break something. Like that stupid counselor's leg.
"Right…well let's begin then." He said, adjusting his glasses. "Malik why don't we start with you?" He smiled in Malik's direction.
"Sure…" Malik responded, not sharing Matachi's enthusiasm. He too could feel that odd sense of bitterness.
"What brings you here?"
"Ryou." He answered simply.
"I see…well, how do you feel your relationship is with him so far?"
"Why the hell do you need to know?"
"Well…I am a marriage counselor." He said proudly.
"Fine." Malik mumbled.
"And what about your relationship with Bakura?"
"I hate him."
"Yea well I hate you too!" Bakura retorted.
"Well, its not my fault that you're so dumb and lazy that you get kicked out of your apartment!" Malik shouted.
"Bitch!" Bakura yelled.
"Two cent whore!"
Bakura jumped off the couch and so did Malik. Ryou put his head in his hands.
"Why me?" He muttered sadly.
"Boys, boys, lets settle down." Matachi said, raising his hands. Ryou simply rolled his eyes. He knew that this wouldn't go too well.
"Ok, Bakura, would you like to tell Malik anything?"
"Like what?" Bakura said gruffly, sitting back down on the couch.
"Oh, I don't know…why don't you start with how you feel?"
"Ok." A smirk spread across Bakura's face. "Well, lets see. I don't think you should get married, first of all. Second, I think you need to start eating some meat and acting like a man! Don't let someone like Ryou control you!"
"He doesn't!" Malik said defensively.
"Well, you're here aren't you?"
"So are you, ya dumb ass!"
Bakura leaned back in the sofa and looked away.
Matachi put a hand to his forehead, and Ryou looked as if he could cry.
"And one more thing." Bakura added. "I still think you've got that psycho killer in you." He said wishfully.
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not!"
"Do too!!"
"Not!!"
"Too!"
"SHUT UP!" Ryou suddenly yelled. "Bakura, Malik is not a demoniac insane killer…anymore."
"What's this?" Matachi suddenly spoke up.
"Oh uh…I used to…well, I was a little on the evil side…I, ya know…liked to plot horrible deaths and stuff…"
Matachi looked at Malik as if he would pull out a knife and kill him on the spot.
"What are you lookin at me for? It's him you gotta be worried about! He still likes to do that stuff!!"
Matachi turned his attention to Bakura, who could only smile as if that were a complement.
"He's right."
"I see…" Matachi said nervously. "A-and why do you do these things? Do you have pent up anger?"
"No."
"Do you want to get back at the world for something?"
"No."
"Well then, why the hell do you do it?"
"It's just fun ok!?!" Bakura shouted at him.
"I see…well, I think we've made a breakthrough." Matachi put his hands together as he stared intensely at the three boys.
"Ryou, is there anything you'd like to comment on?"
"Yes, plenty. First off…I didn't feel like I had a choice on letting Bakura stay with us." Ryou started.
"And why is that?"
"Well, since he is my Yami and all…"
"Your what?"
"Long story. Anyway…he's a slob, an evil killer, a horrible boyfriend, a destructive person, a childish brat…
Fifteen minutes later…
A complete asshole, and…he's annoying." Ryou, after finishing what he had wanted to say forever just sunk back in the couch.
"I see…" Matachi turned to Bakura. "And what do you think about that Bakura?"
"Huh? Oh yea, whatever he said." Bakura was starting to drift off into his own little world, dreaming about some horrible way to kill the counselor…and Malik.
"I see…"
"YOU SEE! YOU SEE! WE GET IT YOU SEE! WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SEE? THE END OF YOUR BIG NOSE YOU DUMB SHIT HEAD!" Bakura couldn't take it anymore; he had been sitting still for far to long next to someone he didn't like and across form someone who was bugging the hell out of him.
"T-thank you Bakura, that will be all." He grabbed Bakura's arm and led him out the door. "We'll call you when we're finished." Matachi ran back into the room slamming the door behind him.
"Dumb shit head…gunna kill him…first chance I get…trying to evaluate me…dumb shit head…" Bakura mumbled as he sat down in the chair and crossed his arms. "What are you lookin at?" He snapped at the secretary before she jumped and went back to whatever it was that she was doing.
Bakura needs help…. Aheh heh heh ::laughs nervously:: seriously….