A Frying Pan Can Mend It All

by LondonWitch

A/N: Chapter one? Check. Chapter two? Er – I'm working on it. In the meantime, give me twenty push-ups and an essay on why I don't own J.K. Rowling's characters. Don't forget the part about how I only own the plot.

Chapter Two: It's Best To Start Running. Now.

"Guess what time it is?! GUESS!" James shouted at the top of his lungs into the crowd, "It's time for the VICTORY DANCE!" With that, he jumped off of the table where he had been standing and began to do a cross between the Macarena and the Chicken Dance that involved several whoops.

After the Quidditch match had been won by Gryffindor, 230 to 160, the whole house had trooped back to the Common Room to celebrate. Of course, James was a little out of hand. Not that that was unusual, by any circumstances. Sirius eagerly joined in on the Victory Dance, even though he wasn't a part of the Quidditch team. Lupin just stared at them, and Wormtail was a bit preoccupied with his Butterbeer.

The music in the room (provided by a bewitched boombox, courtesy of Sirius) was almost shaking the floor, and everyone was having a good time. Until a certain Prefect by the name of Lily Michelle Evans decided to break it up.

"Now, who here knows what tomorrow is for the seventh years? Anyone? ANYONE?!" Lily shouted as she flipped the switch to the large black boombox. The music ceased, and everyone gazed blankly at her with horrified expressions. "Tomorrow," she continued, "Is the first day of N.E.W.T. testing. And O.W.L. testing for the fifth years. I suggest that you all study – right NOW."

James walked over to her with a smug expression on her face. "Well what if we don't want to, Little Miss Bossy-Pants? Huh? HUH? HUH?! You can't make us do anything if we don't want to do it."

"Correction, Potter. I am a Prefect and you are not, which does mean that I do have the power to tell you what to do. I am perfectly allowed to stop this little shingding, so that some of us may STUDY!" Lily yelled in his ear. James winced, and Lily turned to the crowd, "Now, if you don't mind, I will be taking that – " she grabbed the boombox, "– and will be getting Professor McGonagall if this continues. I have studying to do for the O.W.L.s tomorrow."

She picked up her schoolbag, and began to march out of the Common Room with the boombox still in tow. Then she turned and added, "It's best to start running, James. Now." Then she left.

Everyone turned to James, who was pretty much the most popular boy in Gryffindor. He usually had a solution.

"Well, er, we could always – sing?" James ventured, cocking his head to one side. Sirius threw a pillow from one of the couches at him, and several people groaned. "What? You have a better suggestion?"

And with that, he sighed and nodded at Lupin, who stood up and began to conduct everyone in a loud round of 'Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore.' Until someone stopped singing, raised their hand, and suggested the song 'The Itsy-Bitsy Spider', instead.

Meanwhile...

Lily had taken the boombox to Filch, and then had gone to the library to study in peace and quiet. She was pleased to find that Molly and Sara had decided to follow her, and soon the trio were immersed in all sorts of thick books.

Molly looked up for a moment, and was surprised to see that Lily wasn't studying, but staring off into space with a confused look on her face. "What's up, Lils? Why aren't you studying for that Transfiguration O.W.L. tomorrow?"

The auburn-haired Lily sighed, and turned to smile at her friend. "It's nothing. It's – well, he's driving me nuts."

"Potter?" inquired Sara, pausing in her reading as well.

Lily nodded. "He's rude, but then he's nice. And he seems to like me – I think. Oh, I don't know what to do. Half of the time I want to grab him and just kiss him, and the other half of the time I want to whack him over the head with a frying pan."

The three girls laughed, but quieted down immediately when Madam Pince sent them a sharp glance from the reception desk. "You know, that's not a bad idea," mused Molly, twirling a strand of red hair aound her finger while she talked.

"What? How?" Lily asked bewilderedly.

Molly proceeded in a whisper to tell them what exactly the benefits of a frying pan were. Lily grinned, and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. She was the kind of person that needed a list of exactly what was going on, and what she was going to do next. The girls began to formulate a plan for getting James Potter to mature quite a bit.

'1.) Talk to the house-elves.

2.) Get ahold of a frying pan.

3.) Have that brunette girl distract Sirius.

4.) Get Sara to talk to Lupin and Peter.

5.) Make James start running.

6.) Catch up with James.

7.) Hit him over the head.

8.) Talk sense into him.'

"Wait. Why can't you just talk to him now? Why do you have to hit him over the head with a really heavy cooking utensil?" Sara asked, staring at the list.

"Because it's fun, and because he'll know that I mean business. Come on – how badly could it hurt him?" Lily smiled.

A/N: Would anyone be brave enough to let me hit them with a frying pan? So that I'd accurately know how to describe how James' head will hurt in the next chapter? Anyone at all? Aw, you guys are no fun. :-)