A Frying Pan Can Mend It All

by LondonWitch

A/N: I have a list of things that I must get done today (I am moving next week), but I really wanted to write this chapter. I mean, who really wants to sand the wallpaper off of the bathroom wall? (I'm not joking.) Sadly, no one volunteered to be hit on the head by the time I sat down at my computer, so I am just going to have to go by the memory of being hit on the head with a large book. The usual disclaimer applies. Sigh.

Chapter Three: In Which Someone Is Severely Bonked On The Head

"Here you are, miss. One standard-sized metal frying pan, the non-stick kind. That's so we can get the scrambled eggs off of it more easily, miss," said the house-elf in his squeaky voice as he handed Lily the frying pan. Lily has snuck into the kitchens while everyone else was at dinner on Sunday evening. It was numbers one and two on the 'master list'.

"Thank you very much – er – what did you say your name was, again?" Lily asked politely as she walked towards the portrait hole to leave the kitchens.

"House-elf Dookins, miss. And we are very happy that you asked, miss, since we are here only to serve," said the strange little creature. He bowed her out of the kitchen, along with about two dozen other elves that seemed to have nothing better to do than wait on Lily hand and foot.

"That was odd," Lily said to herself after the portrait of a fruit bowl had swung closed behind her. She'd found out about how to get into the kitchens from none other than James and Sirius, quite awhile ago in their second year (this was their fifth) – she doubted that anyone in the future would ever be as troublesome and as big as pranksters as those two were. But who knew? Maybe some boys could eventually give them a run for their money.

From there, Lily went up to the Common Room to meet Sara and Molly. Molly had arranged for that brunette girl that Sirius fancied to meet with him at the library, and Sara was going to distract Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew by talking. She was very good at going on and on, and no one really ever had the heart to interrupt.

When Lily arrived, she saw that everything was in place. Even James was cooperating – although he didn't know it – as he was sitting on one of the Common Room couches, reading a book entitled: 'Quidditch for Morons and Everyone Else.' Lily had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

She nodded to Sara, who was sitting on the steps that led to the girl's dorms, and Sara walked over to where Lupin was studying and Peter was, well, being Peter and dreaming about the half-man half-rat thing. Lily went and sat down next to James. He looked over at her in surprise.

"What are you doing, Evans? I'm trying to read, in case you're blind or something," James said, glaring at her. He was very befuddled as to why the girl of his dreams, who happened to hate him (or at least that's what he thought), was sitting next to him here in the Common Room.

"Wondering why you're not taking a walk outside on such a beautiful day like this. The stars are shining, there's a slight breeze – and you're in here, reading." Lily replied, twiddling her thumbs all the while. She glanced over at Sara and the other two boys – they were listening to her drone on about some vacation to Germany she'd taken several years ago. Lupin's eyes had aqquired a glazed look, and Peter was daydreaming yet again.

"Are you feeling alright, Evans? Why are you suddenly so interested in me and what I'm doing inside? And in the weather?" James questioned, his eyebrows furrowed. He set down the book and stood up. "You know, maybe I will take a walk," he seized the opportunity and added, "Want to come?"

"Don't mind if I do," Lily replied cheerfully, and she grabbed up her schoolbag from where she had set it down next to the couch. It contained only one thing – that very heaving cooking utensil that most people call a frying pan.

About fifteen minutes later, after walking around the lake twice...

"Hey James, I have a question," Lily said. They had been walking and making polite conversation for awhile now, and it was Lily's time to strike – literally. James couldn't figure out why Lily was being so nice to him, and Lily was surprised that James hadn't said one rude thing yet.

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you running?"

"What do you mean, run – oh."

Lily had pulled out the frying pan and was holding it up so that James could see it. It worked, as he stopped talking and was now running around the lake for dear life, trying as hard as he could to get away from her. Lily whipped out her wand and whispered, "Slothus." James could no longer run, but only jog. He was screaming nonsense words as loud as he possibly could. Lily caught up to him easily.

"Lily! WHAT ARE YOU –"

BONK! The frying pan connected with James' skull and he fell to the ground. Lily crossed her fingers and hoped that he wasn't unconscious. She set the frying pan gently in her schoolbag, but not before checking it to see if he'd left a dent. He had – a very small one, but a dent nonetheless.

"James? Are you okay?" Lily asked quietly, kneeling down next to where he lay sprawled on the freshly-cut grass. She brushed some hair out of his face and peered at him interestedly. There was a large, throbbing, yellow-and-black lump on the back of his head.

"What – the – heck – was – THAT – for?!" James managed to get out, he was still a bit woozy, and was seeing not one but four of Lily. He began to grumble incoherently, but Lily spoke very loudly above him to be heard.

"Because I LIKE you, James. I'm trying to knock some sense into you and get you to actually talk to me for a minute. I'm serious. And, because it was fun," she added, mocking him from earlier that morning when he'd stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," James said sarcastically, sitting up. Then he turned serious. "I'm sorry – I really actually like you, too. Since forever – and why would you never go out with me?"

Lily avoided that question and just said, "Really?"

"Yup."

"Well, in that case, I'm sorry for hurting you. Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" Lily asked sweetly, helping him to his feet. She brushed some grass off of her jeans as she spoke.

"No, I think I'm okay. But I've got a great idea now," said James as he grabbed her hand. They began to walk up towards the castle together. Lily pulled out the frying pan and showed him the dent. He laughed.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Let's just say it involves Sirius, that brunette from Hufflepuff, and one of those pots that the house-elves cook oatmeal in."

A/N: Was this chapter great? Was it horrible? Was it just alright? Please review, if you're a nice person and you don't want to be hit on the head with a cookie sheet by me. Did anyone catch that there may someday be boys to give Sirius and James a run for their money? Cough – WEASLEY TWINS – cough. :-)