Disclaimer: I now own my own patch of air in the atmosphere, if that makes any sense at all. Hahaha.
Author's Notes: Ahh, I love banter. Ü Hope you all love it as well! And thank you MellowYellow36! I got the "Moons" nickname off you! Heehee! Hope you don't mind! Anyways, please enjoy! (And congratulate me! I'm updating regularly despite school! Hahaha!) The song is copyright to my band, Skarlette. Please ask me if you like it and will use it somewhere. Thank you.
Chapter 3- 5 Minutes
I'm afraid to close my eyes
Because I might get lost in the darkness
I'm afraid to spread my wings and fly
Because I feel so lifeless
The fact that I bleed
The fact that I breathe
I guess it proves
I'm truly human
But I'm so much more than that
Can you tell me what it's like-
To be ordinary?
-Skarlette
Freddy swallowed, trying to force down the overly sweet strep throat medicine. He scraped his tongue against his teeth, trying to get the taste out but he knew he needed water, and fast.
After a quick thank you to the nurse on duty, he bolted out of the school clinic towards the cafeteria. It was lunchtime and he had to return to his Algebra class because he'd left his books there. He cursed mentally, damning his body for making him have a sore throat that day. He wanted to be there when Raine told Zack what had happened with Katie earlier that morning.
Katie. Every thought led back to her. Her eyes, her hair, her smile, the way her ears turned pink when she was embarrassed. He was sure Zack had never noticed those things. After all, he'd been friends with Katie practically since she'd gotten home from the hospital, and he knew every nuance of her face like no one else did. He loved her without question, but she loved Zack.
Zack, his best friend.
When he had found out in 9th grade that they were going out, he'd first gotten angry. Angry at Zack. At Katie. At the world. At himself for being to slow. He knew a girl like Katie would never just stay in one place waiting for him. It was his own fault for being too shy and afraid of what could have been if he had taken the risk for something he loved. Freddy had never loved anything in his entire life aside from his parents, band, friends, drum set and Katie. Add that to the fact that he never actually admitted any emotion, and any normal person could see, Freddy defended himself, he had been scared of what might have been.
But that was all it would ever be now. Something that might have been.
In 6th grade he told Martina Thomas that he loved her, and she laughed in his face and said "Hell no, Freddy. You're just a friend."
Phobia. Yes, that was it. Freddy thought to himself. Blame it on psychosis.
The blonde punk drummer stepped into the gleaming white cafeteria, blue eyes darting around to find Zack and the rest of the band, School of Rock. The icky sweet taste in his throat was now forgotten and he was dimly aware that girls were staring at him, so he stuffed his hands into the pocket of his jeans and headed towards the pay counter, where he'd caught a flash of Raine's red and pink braids.
"Hey," he greeted, resting a hand onto the small of her back.
Raine twisted around, her eyebrow raised. "Hey yourself, stranger,"
"I'm strange but not a stranger," Freddy smiled. He could just let go and not act like the adolescent jock-ish punker everyone expected him to be. Raine never had any expectations; she just accepted.
"This it?" the cafeteria lady asked boredly, looking down at Raine's practically bare tray. All she had was a plastic case of salad, a plastic-wrapped ham and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread, and a bottle of water.
Raine nodded, her hand digging into her messenger bag for her wallet.
"No, here, let me pay," and Freddy pulled out a whole wad of bills from his back pocket.
Behind them Charlotte Webber started whispering into Janice Ingleberg's ear. "Oh my gosh, did you see that? Freddy Jones is buying Katarina Vasquez lunch!"
"Who in the hell is Katarina Vasquez?" Janice whispered back.
"That witch girl in 10th grade!"
Raine tossed them a withering glare and turned back to Freddy only to find that he had already picked up her tray and was now walking towards their usual table. "Thank you, but you are aware of the fact that you've practically committed social suicide by buying me lunch, are you not?" She raised an eyebrow at Freddy, popping the top of her salad.
The drummer laughed and swung an arm over the back of his chair. "Do I look like I give a damn about what a bunch of girls say?"
Raine pretended to think about it for about a nanosecond. "Well, being that in the future you'll probably sleep with them, then yes. I'd say you do care what they say. Especially since it's with reference to me, the apparent 'witch girl in 10th grade.'"
"Don't let those lemmings get to you, Rei. They're jealous because you're in the presence of the great Freddy Jones. And besides, this is high school. Everyone will find a reason to hate you." he grinned.
Raine rolled her eyes. "Everyone seems to love you, though. Don't they? Hey, Lawrence. Gordon. Frankie. Marco. Billy." She greeted, nodding to each boy in turn as they sat down at the table.
Frankie let out a sigh as he sat down.
"You all right, man?" Freddy queried.
Frankie opened one eye as he leaned back, savoring his sitting position. "Yeah, man. But everything down to my toes hurt." He complained.
Marco laughed. "I'm suddenly glad I'm in basketball, not football."
"Hey, basketball is just as hard," Billy defended. Since 5th grade he'd shot up to practically 6"2 and had gotten rid of his pitchy girly voice. But still, that hadn't diminished the fact that he was an out-of-the-closet queer since 4th grade. Marco still had issues with bathing at school after basketball practice.
"How are you, Miss Vasquez?" Lawrence greeted, smiling sweetly.
Raine laughed. "Peachy keen, Mister Chang. And you?"
"I still can't fathom why you call each other that," Gordon complained.
Lawrence simply smiled, betraying no secrets. "It's a minority thing, right, Miss Vasquez?"
"If there's one thing you aren't, Law, it's a minority," Frankie commented. "Everywhere I look you're there. Even in football!"
"Being assistant coach has its perks, Frankie." Lawrence defended himself.
"Yeah, you get to watch all the hunky footballers all sweaty out there on the field!" Billy quipped. Freddy saw Frankie wince.
Everyone laughed. "I was thinking more along the lines of watching the cheerleaders, though." Lawrence commented. "But that could work too!"
Marco, Gordon and Frankie threw the paper covers of their plastic straws at him, looking appalled.
Lawrence held his hand in front of his face and laughed. "I was kidding!"
"What's the joke?" Marta asked, smiling brightly as she sat down beside Marco and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Tomika and Alicia, the other two back up SoR singers followed suit.
"Law was making an disgusting pun about being gay," Gordon explained.
"Well, he never told me that!" Michelle commented, trying to look angry with her boyfriend. Lawrence immediately stood up and took her tray, smiling.
Eleni sat down beside Freddy, her cousin, and grinned. "Wow, who woulda thunk that Law would turn out to be a fag?"
"Hey!" Billy objected. "I take offence at that stereotype!"
Eleni tossed him an apologetic look. "Oh, sorry. I meant raging homosexual!" She squeaked as Billy pinched her side.
Michelle frowned. "Lawrence isn't a raging homosexual, Leni!"
Billy let out a melodramatic sigh. "Not you too, Chelle!"
Freddy wanted to drag Raine off and worm all the details out of her because the band's repartee was just about to drive him insane. He was worried like hell about Katie. He hadn't seen her since that morning at Sandra's diner, and he was dying to know what it had all been about. He even finished half of Raine's lunch to get her away from there faster, and he loathed healthy food.
Thankfully, though, Zack had arrived just as Raine finished off her bottle of mineral water.
"'Scuse me, ladies and gents. I have a meeting with my maker," Raine said, saluting them as she stood up, carrying her tray.
Zack threw Freddy a confused look when he stood up as well.
"She's my friend too," Freddy justified as the three of them departed from the cafeteria.
Zack merely shrugged.
"All right, so where d'you want me to start?" Raine queried as they sat down onto the dewy grass near Jameson's front steps. She fidgeted a bit, trying to fix her skirt so that her knickers wouldn't show. It was a bit of a miracle they hadn't so far. Her lacy skirt was well over her knees and her fishnet hose was run in a few places, but she still managed to look ethereal. A pixie dipped in black ink.
Freddy raised an eyebrow, picking a blade of grass and chewing on it. "There's a lot?"
Raine sighed, tossing her head back to face the sky. "Last night Katie and Therese had a little talk about her social life. Apparently, Therese thinks that Katie shouldn't tie herself down to one person, i.e. Zack, since she's so young and she should experience new things, blah blah blah." She waved her hand dismissively in the air. "The usual excuses parents use. So now, they're making her break up with you, Jimi, and date other people, or the loons are sending her off to her aunt in wonderful New York New York to study there. So now you understand why Katie was such a mess this morning. She still doesn't know what to do and she didn't know how to tell you, Jimi. She asked me to send her deepest apologies for being the spineless coward that she says she is."
Zack was staring down at the grass, his hair shadowing his face.
Freddy tried not to let his mouth fall open. Were they serious? Was this really happening? This was the break he'd been waiting for! But then he took one look at his best friend's crumpled face that it would never happen and he wouldn't let it. What was he thinking? Zack and Katie were meant to be together, and Freddy wouldn't allow himself to be a roadblock and shatter their friendships. He'd just have to learn how to let Katie go.
Easier said than done.
"Can we talk?"
Katie half-jumped out of her skin. Dejected, she slipped the remainder of her books back into her locker and shut it. Zack was leaning against the ones beside hers, arms crossed over his chest, looking as miserable as he felt.
Katie felt a spreading ache in her chest and it continued down to her stomach, making her feel like she'd swallowed a dead weight. This was all her fault, her subconscious reminded her. You made Zack sad.
"About what?" she managed to say.
"I heard what you mother said," he explained, not trusting himself to look at her, or his body might betray him and he might do something he didn't want to, couldn't do, wasn't supposed to do at the moment.
She almost let out a whimper at this. Raine had done the deed. She wasn't sure if she was thankful or angry with her for it. "So?"
He felt almost mad at how impassive she was acting. "Isn't there anything you...we can do?" he asked, finally looking up at her face, hoping that he could find an answer there.
Katie cast her eyes downward. "I don't know, Zack." She said his name softly, as if it caused her pain.
He looked away again and stared at the opposite wall as people jostled around them, eager to get a head start on their weekend. "Can't we just...stay together? I don't mind if your parents make you see other people. I need you, Posh," He took her hand and pulled her towards him. Katie bent towards his will, not knowing what to do. At the moment, she was lost in the anguish she saw in Zack's eyes.
He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you so much, Katie. Please, we have to find a way to get through this,"
Tears pushed their way behind her eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else but there. "I'm sorry, Zack. But if my parents find out it's the end of everything. I'll have to move and we'd never be together. I'd have to leave the band and all my friends and-"
"So I don't mean more to you than all that?" Zack let go of her hand, a definite edge to his voice that she had never heard before.
She shook her head, wishing that he could read her heart and mind so he'd know what she meant. "I'm just saying that maybe for a while we could cool things off a bit. Nothing permanent, Zack. Just until my parents are satisfied that they've ruined my life. Please understand, you mean more to me than you'll ever know, but I want to cover all the bases and be sure that this wont happen again."
Zack took a step back, jamming his hands into his jacket pockets so that she wouldn't see them shaking. "Cover all your bases then. Call me when you've hit a home run." And with that he turned and joined the crowd out the exit, leaving Katie feeling emptier than she'd ever felt in her entire life.
BEEP!
No more Katie.
BEEEEEEEP!
No more sleepovers and midnight talks. No more popcorn faces and 1000-calorie lasagna and triple chocolate fudge fights. No more counting the stars to see if they matched all the reasons why we loved each other.
Did she even really love me? She threw everything away so easily, like it didn't matter at all.
BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
No more Katie kissing me. Her hand wont be there to hold anymore and I can never see her smile the way I used to. No more secrets just between the both of us. Crap, I feel like someone ripped everything inside me out and is hanging it on their clothesline somewhere. Like something's died inside of me.
"Dammit, Moons! What's it gonna take for you to get down from space?"
Zack's head snapped up, pulling his mind from his reverie. Raine and Freddy were in the back seat of Keagan Fyr's (a sophomore, Raine's fellow Coven member and band mate) fire hydrant red convertible. Freddy and Raine were wearing their soccer jerseys, knee-high mud-streaked socks and cleats, having just come from soccer varsity practice. Keagan, on the other hand, was wearing a loose paint-stained shirt from art club.
Suddenly Zack felt incomplete. Everyone else had so many extra-curricular activities they could bank on and put on their college applications. He was putting his eggs all in one basket, what with the band and all. It hurt to think about the future. The future that he and Katie had so meticulously planned out. It seemed so simple and perfect.
After graduating high school they'd go to the same college, finish a course, spending all their free time on each other and the band. After that they'd get married, have 3 kids (a boy, and two girls), and ride off into the happily ever after sunset. Zack wished it were that simple.
"Moons, you should come to our circle tonight. It might do you some good." Keagan commented as Freddy jumped out and steered his best friend into the car.
"What about band practice?" Zack mumbled absent-mindedly. He wouldn't mind going to another of their Coven's circles. The whole in-tune-with-Nature thing made him feel better sometimes. He and Katie always went together.
Katie.
"Dewey called and said that he's having a meeting with the producers, so it's cancelled. Nothing until tomorrow afternoon. Oh, he said to remind you to practice your solo." Freddy informed him.
Oh my God. How is the band going to work out? I'll have to work with Katie all the time on the album. Do I have to pretend this never happened? Holy shit.
Raine slapped the back of his head. "Jimi, you've got to stop thinking about her." She said, reading his mind. "And don't worry, she's not going to be there tonight. Her parents are dragging her off to some business dinner, so you don't have to worry about seeing her immediately."
Maybe I want to see her, Zack thought, suddenly feeling a rush of anger towards Raine. It was partly her fault. If she hadn't told Zack and made Katie talk to him, maybe he would've been able to convince her that they shouldn't break up.
Think rationally, Moonyham. This isn't Steffi's fault. She was just a pawn who, granted, didn't know any better. You can't let your anger out on her. It was no one's fault.
From beside Freddy, Raine let out a sigh. Freddy patted her shoulder comfortingly.
They turned down the end of the road towards his house, where the circle would take place. Zack glanced absently at the digital clock. The glowing green numbers clearly read 6:12. 6 had been Katie's jersey number back in grade school volleyball varsity. 6 times 2 equals 12. 2. It would never be the two of them anymore.
Keagan switched the radio on.
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer...
Fantastic, Zack thought, leaning further back into the leather bucket seat. "Cute without the 'e'". Yes, that was the perfect song for now. Let go for tonight, Moonyham.
They arrived at the house without further conversation. A few other cars were already parked in the driveway and he could hear music from inside the house. Once inside, Freddy and Raine ran upstairs to change clothes for the circle, while Keagan disappeared into the kitchen to get food.
"Hi, you're Zack right?" A petite-looking blonde girl bounced into the seat next to his and took a daring sip of his beer. "The lead guitarist of School of Rock?"
Inwardly he wondered what a girl like this would know about rock music. "Yeah, why?"
"I saw your concert last summer. It rocked. Totally changed my whole life. Your bassist, Katherine Brown, inspired me to take up an instrument. You two are together, right?" Her sparkling blue eyes searched his face questioningly.
Zack took a swig of beer, hoping that the alcohol would kick in. "Not anymore."
"That sucks," She looked away and waved to a girl with long black hair in curly ringlets that just walked in. "My name's Lily, by the way. Are you an initiate? This is my second time at a Wiccan circle. I grew up Catholic."
Zack shook his head. "My friends just asked me to participate."
"You mean Raine and Keagan?"
Zack raised an eyebrow at her.
"I saw you walk in with them. I can't believe Freddy Jones is here! I cant wait to see what kind of energy he has." She gushed, looking around the room again. There was a kick-ass stereo system in one corner, and a fireplace against one wall. All the furniture was pushed aside to make room for everyone.
Zack downed the rest of his bottle, wishing that Lily would just go away. He wanted company but there was nothing anyone could say to make him feel better.
Raine bounded into the room, dressed in a pair of worn jeans and fitted storm violet sweater that matched her eyes perfectly. She switched the music in the stereo to a Gregorian Chant CD. "All right, boys and girls, center of the room."
Zack stood up, making sure to place himself away from Lily and her boundless energy. In the end he was between Keagan and Raine, two of the three blood witches in their Coven. Keagan came from a long line of Rowanwands, and Raine's parents wouldn't tell her which Clan they had descended from, but both had a knack for fire. He wondered what would happen to him if either of them lost control.
Keagan stared drawing a circle of chalk around everyone and when Freddy finally walked in, he closed it. "Thalia, would you please purify the circle?"
The girl with long curly hair nodded, pleased that Keagan had chosen her. She walked around the circle, sprinkling the salt. "With this salt, we purify our circle. With thanks to the God and Goddess,"
Keagan looked expectantly at Raine. She nodded and waved her hand in front of her, and a fire sputtered to life in the fireplace on the opposite wall. A few people let out screams and gasps. Keagan bent down and blew onto the candles, and they too flickered to life.
Raine held Zack's hand and closed her eyes, staring to walk counter-clockwise.
Soon the air in the living room filled with Gareth's low, soothing voice. He was roughly 40, a Brightendale. "Tonight we're concentrating on something we've lost. So try to see it in your mind's eye, and try to harness the energy of the circle to try to have it return to you."
Katie. Zack thought automatically, but it seemed childish to use everyone's energies to try to get her back. She wasn't really lost, anyway. Just gone. He closed his eyes, systematically putting all his muscles and thoughts at ease. In the past few months he'd began meditating, so putting himself into a slight trance was easy. The hard part was trying to get Katie off his mind.
Keagan's grip on his hand tightened slightly.
Zack suddenly had a mental image of a girl with long strawberry blonde hair and bright emerald green eyes, roughly around 5 years old. Selena, the name popped into his head. Was she the one that Keagan had lost? Zack opened his eyes and stared at everyone with their eyes squinted shut. He turned to look at Raine and felt like he'd been punched in the gut.
Instinctively he tired to let go but their hands felt super-glued together, and a girl named Sarah, who had been on Raine's other side, fell backwards. Zack shut his eyes, and a movie played on the inside of his head. He couldn't feel Keagan's hand anymore.
Raine was a kid with no one in their house it felt so cold and alone like no one would hear her if she screamed so she screamed her heart and soul out and no one came to help her. A small part of Zack's brain that was sane wondered if he was screaming from the cold as well. No one would ever come to help them. The fear was so palpable he felt like if he could punch the air it would shatter and fall but the fear stopped him from knowing what was behind the mirror.
It was Raine in 8th grade on the soccer field at night with Freddy staring at the stars and feeling the enormity of the universe and Freddy held her hand and she felt like she was flying and could touch the stars and that everything would be all right from then on. The next day he was with Felicia Burnham and she wanted the Earth to swallow her up and never let her go. She knew that the inside of the Earth was warm.
It was 9th grade and she was curled up in a corner of her room, her arms sore and bleeding from so many cuts it was impossible to know which was which. Her parents stood in front of her, looking impassionate. She would never be good enough and it hurt more than anything Zack had felt in his entire life. Raine was wishing for Freddy and Zack felt for her. He wished for Katie as well.
Hate and pain and burning and blood and love and loneliness and slashes across her arm and heroin and raw bleeding lips and bitten nails and darkness and cold running through veins and emptiness and paint and mud and blood and the world in black and white and having no one and nothing all came crashing down on Zack and he stumbled back, his grip on Raine's hand finally breaking.
What happened?
Gareth had stepped forward, telling them to Indian-sit on the wooden floors to ground themselves. Raine looked hesitant and a lot younger without her vampire make-up. Zack knew she hadn't meant to do that. Still shaken, he sat down and pressed his forehead against the cool wood, letting it drain away everything inside him.
"I didn't mean to do that," he heard Raine whisper, softly, like she was scared. He suddenly realized that he had no idea how long he'd been lying on the floor. He bolted upright.
Bad idea. The blood went rushing to the top of his head, making his head pound even worse than it had before. His eyes finally focused on a half-empty room.
Freddy was slouched on a corner of a couch, looking at them from under his hand, which was resting on his forehead. Zack was surprised to realize that the expression on his face was worry. Raine was buried under an Afghan, and Gareth looked scarier than Zack had ever seen him.
"Katarina, how many times have I told you to control your power? You can't just perform tàth meànma in the middle of a circle! I've told you the consequences of this! People could have died from the overload of information and the past. You lucked out this time, you and Zachary are extremely fortunate to still be breathing."
"I didn't mean to." Raine said again, even softer this time.
Zack looked from Gareth to Keagan to Raine to Freddy and back to Gareth. "What just happened?" he asked, and the question hung in the air for a few more moments.
Gareth fixed him with his steady brown gaze. "Tàth meànma is called the Vulcan mind-meld. In lame man's terms, it's taking your memories and emotions and showing Katarina, and vice-versa. In Wicca it's the ultimate form of trust and giving of oneself to another."
Zack nodded, even if he hadn't understood. It had happened by accident, right? Then a wave of nausea washed over him. How much had Raine seen?
"I'm sorry, Jimi," she said quietly, leveling her gaze with his. "I didn't mean to put anyone in any danger and you had been looking at me and all I felt was this gripping cold and it wouldn't stop. I am so sorry."
"How much did you see?"
"Everything."
A/N: comments? flames? praises for me? press the little button over there and tell me. :)