Thanks for the all great reviews. I really appreciate it. As usual, the same disclaimers apply.
"Maybe we should just ditch," suggested Ryan, at school the next day. He inhaled deeply, taking in the aroma of his coffee. He had bought one at the student union because he had avoided the rest of the family in the kitchen and had gone straight for his bicycle, refusing a ride from Sandy.
Seth glanced sideways at his brother; surprised that Ryan was even talking to him. Though he wasn't surprised that Ryan knew what he was feeling.
"Which do you think would be worse, facing Mom and Dad or my probation officer when the school calls to see why we're not in class again?"
"Oh. Yeah." Ryan remembered those days, of constantly being on edge, watching his every step. It was strange that Seth was now in his shoes.
"Seth!" Summer ran up to hug her boyfriend, going past Ryan in a blur, nearly spilling his coffee. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. It took Seth a moment to recover from his surprise and to start kissing back.
Ryan was grateful to Marissa who came up and linked her arm in his. "You look like hell," she said.
"I have a cold," answered Ryan. "Otherwise," he nodded his head towards Seth and Summer, "I'd give you some of that."
Marissa laughed and watched for a moment. "Don't they need some air?" Shaking her head in wonder, she loudly said, "Get a room."
Summer pulled away, clearly not embarrassed, and rather annoyed at the interruption. "We're not stopping you," she said. "Go ahead." She waved a hand at them. "Get your mack on."
"We prefer the privacy of a room," Marissa explained finding it difficult to suppress her smile.
Summer rolled her eyes. "The privacy of a pool house with three glass walls?"
Marissa glowered, but Ryan could tell she was more amused than annoyed.
But Seth and Summer stopped kissing and Summer asked her boyfriend how he was feeling and how his NA meeting had gone. Seth answered her questions, but looked down at the ground, concentrating intensely on making circles with his big toe.
Hoping to save Seth from the uncomfortable questions, Ryan held out the shopping bag he'd been holding. "Um, Summer, here. And uh thanks for the other night. These are your dad's clothes. Rosa washed them."
"Oh. Thanks. You could've kept them. Daddy wouldn't have noticed they're gone."
"It's not like they fit very well," Ryan explained. "Anyway, I really appreciate you letting me crash at your place the other night."
"Sorry I couldn't stop Kirsten from coming over." She hugged Seth to her side, trying to assess if Ryan was angry with her or not. She hadn't talked to either Ryan or Seth since the night from hell. By the time she had come home from school, Ryan had been gone and though she had picked up the phone over twenty times, she hung up before she finished dialing. She knew the Cohens would need their time together.
Ryan shrugged. "It's okay. Kirsten was like a steamroller yesterday. You didn't want to get in her way."
The bell rang, signaling the start of homeroom, and reluctantly the four teens separated to their respective homerooms. Ryan squeezed into his desk and promptly put his head down. He still had his cold, though it was a lot better than yesterday, his head felt stuffed and everything sounded like it was miles away. If he had let on to Kirsten how he was really feeling, she would have insisted that he go straight back to bed. It wasn't such a bad idea, but he knew if he stayed home Sandy would stay home too. Sandy would try to talk. And he didn't know how long he could ignore Sandy until everything blew up in his face.
"Atwood."
Ryan didn't answer. He weakly raised his hand to show he was present.
"Atwood-Cohen." A book slammed down right near his ear, making Ryan jump. Mr. Tolliver took one look at him and said, "You look like sh— crap," the teacher corrected himself. "Go to the nurse."
"I'm fine," Ryan said, putting his head back down.
"Well, you're not staying in my class like that. Why are you in school if you're sick?"
"I'm fine. I'm not sick."
"Then pick up your head." Ryan tried to comply, but he could only keep it up by using a hand to prop up his head. He hadn't felt so crummy fifteen minutes before. "You're not sitting in my class like this. Go. To. The. Nurse," seethed the teacher.
"I don't need to go to the nurse. She can't do anything anyway."
"She can call your parents to come pick you up. Go to the nurse," repeated Tolliver. He didn't understand why this was such a big deal. Most students would jump at the chance to go home and take a day's vacation.
Ryan glared at the teacher. "I am so sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do. I just want to sit here and listen to the morning announcements. Just leave me alone. Please," he added for good measure.
Some teachers would have let it go, but not Tolliver. The teacher narrowed his eyes in such a way that it worried Seth, who was sitting next to Ryan. It was a bad idea to tussle with Tolliver. Students never won.
"Your choice Atwood. The nurse or Dr. Kim. Either way, I'm calling your parents for a conference."
Seth's eyes raced back and forth from Mr. Tolliver to Ryan.
"Hey, Ryan. Come on, go to the nurse. I'll take you."
"If I wanted to go to the nurse, I could go myself."
"Then let's take a walk," Seth said anxiously, eyeing the teacher. "Come on."
Ryan relented and let Seth lead him out of the room. "You didn't have to do that," he said when they were in the empty corridor.
"Yes I did. One more minute and you and Tolliver would have come to blows. What's the big deal? Go home. You do look like shit."
Ryan leaned against a row of lockers. The metal felt cool against his burning head. "Sandy will come home if I'm sick."
"You came to school to hide from Dad? Jeez, you really want to avoid him that badly?"
"I was avoiding you too, if you hadn't noticed."
"No one stays mad at me for long."
"No. I'm still pissed at you, but at least you're trying, you know, to get your life together. How are you doing?"
Seth shrugged. Surprised that Ryan would think to ask him. "Right now, after watching that little confrontation with Tolliver, I want a joint. You got me nervous there. But I'm dealing."
"Maybe you should start smoking cigarettes." Ryan was still leaning against the lockers, with his eyes closed. "It always calms my nerves."
Seth didn't miss that Ryan used the present tense, but let it slide with a coy smile. "Yeah. Right. And when Mom starts smelling the smoke and nicotine on my clothes I'll make sure to tell her it was your idea. I'll tell her it was your smokes too."
Ryan laughed, opening his eyes for a brief moment. He didn't have a chance to answer because the bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom and the halls started to fill with students.
"So what's it going to be?" Seth asked, moving out of the way of students jostling their way to first period. "You going to the nurse or going on to your next class?"
"Class. I don't have Tolliver again until PM homeroom. I'll deal with him then."
"You sure? You look—"
"Yeah. Yeah. I know. I look like shit. I heard you. I'm fine."
"Okay. But you know—" Seth stopped. "Okay, go to class. I'll see you later."
Ryan dragged himself from class to class. He didn't pay much attention, but tried to stay alert enough to answer the teachers if they asked him something. But most of the teachers saw his puffy red nose, watery eyes, and the wad of crumpled tissues he kept at his side and left him alone. But just as Ryan was entering his math class, he noticed Mitch Weider heading into the bathroom. Ryan glanced down at his schedule and realized it was Seth's lunch period.
He glanced into the classroom and back to the door where Mitch had just ducked in and knew he had to make sure Mitch didn't go near his brother. Seth was keeping it together, but he didn't know if Seth could do it, if Mitch was around to push more drugs. Ryan told his teacher he was going to the nurse and held up his wad of tissues as proof. The teacher nodded his head and told him to feel better. He left the classroom and looked both ways before ducking into the restroom, hoping he hadn't missed Mitch. He hadn't. Mitch was standing by the sink, his hands under the soap dispenser.
"Hey, Ryan. You okay? You look…"
"How was jail?" Ryan asked cutting Mitch off, promising himself he'd hit the next person who commented on how he looked.
"It was an experience. But you would know, wouldn't you?"
Ryan wanted to wipe little bastard's red freckles off of his face, but he kept his clenched fists deep in his pockets. "That's why I tried to keep my brother out of trouble. Tell me Weider, why did you keep pushing drugs on Seth? Why give him free samples? What do you get out of it?"
Mitch shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." He talked to Ryan through the mirror above the sink.
"I'm not wired. The room's not bugged," Ryan said rolling his eyes. "You can talk. Tell me the truth."
Mitch finished washing his hands and slowly turned, leaning his backside against the sink. He eyed Ryan as if assessing how much he could tell him. "It's no fun to do drugs on my own. I wanted company. But I couldn't get Seth to graduate to the hard stuff. Most people get bored of marijuana pretty fast and look for something edgier. You would know. Wouldn't you?"
"No."
"No?" Mitch said with an easy shrug. Surprised that the boy from Chino was denying drug use. "But I'm sure you knew someone in Chino who did drugs. Didn't your brother have drugs on him when the two of you were arrested?"
"Where did you hear all of this stuff?" He couldn't imagine that Seth would have told Mitch all of this and betrayed Ryan's trust, but who knew what Seth had done while he was high. He had done pretty asinine stuff – stuff that had landed him in jail and on probation.
"Oh, word gets around. Newport's a small town."
"This isn't about me, Mitch. This is about you staying away from Seth. He's trying to pull his life together. If you want to keep doing drugs… fine do it. I don't give a damn. But don't drag down my brother with you.'
"Seth's a big boy. He can make his own decisions."
"Yes he can. And why don't we make it easier for him to keep the decision he has made." Ryan took a step towards the other boy. Mitch didn't blink. "I swear if you mess with Seth, I will mess with you so badly. Consider that little beating I gave you at that dinner party just a taste of what I can do."
"What are you going to do Ryan? Call all of your Chino friends and have them beat me up?"
"If I have to, I will. I will do anything to protect my brother."
Ryan turned on his heels and walked out of the restroom. Not sure what he should do next, he headed out to the quad hoping to find Seth and keep him company. He stopped when he heard a familiar voice calling his name behind him. He whirled around to find Seth behind him.
"Next time you threaten someone in the bathroom, you might want to check and see if the stalls are empty."
Ryan tilted his head sideways and raised his brows.
"Don't give me that look. Don't try to play innocent," Seth seethed, walking forward, until he was inches from his brother.
"You were there?"
His usually mild expression was gone, replaced by pure anger. Ryan walked backwards, until he was backed up against a row of lockers, trying to create space between him and Seth.
"I was trying to do my business in private," explained Seth, "But you interrupted."
"You're still hanging around with Mitch?" Ryan exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down.
"Yeah. Why shouldn't I?"
"Maybe because he's the one who started your problem."
"You know better than that, Ryan." He was angry. He just wanted Ryan to stop meddling in his life and looking out for him when he could take care of himself. "You've watched enough TV, read the literature. I'm the one responsible for my own decisions. No one forced me to take drugs. I can keep my old friends."
"Maybe, if my mother had started over in a new place, maybe then she would have had a chance one of the couple of dozen times she tried to give the stuff up. So, despite the literature, yeah, I do believe you're going to have to change the people you hang with."
"That's why, when she came to Newport that first summer you came to live with us, she was able to keep off the alcohol for what? It was like ten whole minutes?"
"Watch it Seth," Ryan said through clenched teeth. "I won't stay nice forever."
"You know, you've got to give up this whole save the brother routine," Seth said leaning into Ryan. "I'm going to live my own life and I'm going to figure out this whole recovery thing on my own."
"Mitch Weider is bad news."
"Maybe. But he's my bad news. You can't do this for me. I got hooked on my own and I have to get unhooked on my own."
"No," Ryan said shaking his head. "You need your family and friends to help you through this."
"Not the way you're doing it, Ryan. What I need is space. Let me do things my way."
"No."
Seth laughed. It was a hollow laugh, and sounded like the cackling of a madman, frightening Ryan. "You won't even talk to Dad. You're running so scared of him that you came to school to hide out, even though you're sick like a dog. Don't talk to me about needing family. You've never given our family a real chance. You walk the walk. You talk the talk, but deep down, that adoption was nothing but a farce, because you don't believe that Mom and Dad can really be your parents."
Ryan was mute as if Seth had slapped him.
"Nothing to say?" spat Seth.
"I- I -It's not true," Ryan faltered.
"No?"
"No," Ryan said adamantly, pulling himself together.
"I don't believe you. But I'm sure when Dr. Acobas calls us all together, we can work it through in family therapy. That is if you come." Seth turned, disgust still all over his face, and walked away.
For a minute, Ryan didn't know what to do. Should he call after Seth? But what could he tell him that would make him feel better? Deep down, Ryan knew there was truth to what Seth was saying. He slammed the back of his head against the lockers, immediately regretted it, because it sent pain through head. He realized the bell was going to ring soon, and he was still in front of his classroom. He had no choice but to go to the nurse.
Ms. Johnson was nice. All the kids at Harbor liked her, though often, there wasn't much she could do for the students. When Ryan walked into her office, she immediately offered to call his parents, but Ryan refused, asking if he could just lie down until the end of the day. Smiling, her sweet smile, she said yes and left Ryan alone until the last bell of the day.
He rolled off the uncomfortable cot, thanked the nurse and headed to the parking lot where his bike was chained. Mentally, he checked off a list of things to do. He'd call Marissa later and tell her where he had been during lunch. Start on his homework, try and catch up on —
Ryan stopped at the bicycle rack. His bike wasn't there. The chain lay on the floor, cut clean threw. Who would want to steal his ratty old bike? He looked up and down the rack. Every one of those bikes was nicer than his.
"Looking for your bike?"
Ryan turned. It was Sandy.
"It's in the trunk of my car."
"Why did you cut the chain?"
"I couldn't find the key," Sandy said with a shrug. "If I waited for you to come out and open up the chain, I knew you'd run away. But we need to talk. I'm tired of you avoiding me."
Ryan crossed his arms against his chest. He thought about walking, but he didn't have the energy. Besides, Sandy would just be waiting for him at home.
"What about Seth?" he asked.
"I'm sure Summer will take him home. Come on, let's go."
Ryan reluctantly followed.