Sorry it's been so long since I updated. It's been hectic here. I was away for three days, but the memory is slowly dimming as the family deals with Grandma's broken hip. I think by the end of this ordeal, I'll need some of Rommie's meds.

Ryan noticed right away that they weren't driving towards the house. He wondered what Sandy was up to, but refused to be the first one to speak. If back at the parking lot he had had enough wits about him to figure out a way around Sandy, he would have taken it. The last place he wanted to be was in a car alone with his adoptive father.

Every time Ryan thought about that night, he knew that Sandy hadn't meant to raise his hand and he knew that such a scene would probably never repeat itself, but what Ryan couldn't get past were the angry words Sandy had spat out. This is how you repay us for everything we've done for you? The words hadn't stopped echoing in his mind since Sandy had said them. Ryan had always tried to earn his keep when he had first arrived at the Cohen house, and while he still had a hard time truly believing that Sandy and Kirsten were his parents, he had thought that at the very least he didn't owe them anything but love and respect and to do the best that he could in everything.

He pressed his forehead against the cool window and closed his eyes. But when the car lurched to the side and came to a stop, Ryan quickly opened them. They were on the shoulder of the freeway. Sandy was putting the car in park, unfastening his seatbelt, and turning so he could face Ryan.

Ryan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from asking questions. He was not going to be the first one to talk, he reminded himself. He wouldn't. But he couldn't help from shrinking back against the door when Sandy's deep brown eyes looked piercingly at his. Why was Sandy insistent on doing this in middle of nowhere?

"Okay, Ryan, we need to talk."

"Here?" Ryan's eyes darted around, taking in his surrounding.

"I figured you wouldn't run out on me in middle of the freeway. Frankly, I was worried I would have to physically carry you into the car and someone from the school would call child services on me."

"What do you want to talk about?" Ryan asked, deliberately ignoring the comment. He highly doubted that Sandy would have dragged him into the car kicking and screaming, but from the look on Sandy's face, he wasn't so sure.

Sandy sighed. "What do you think Ryan? We have to talk about what I did the other night and how we can go on from there."

He took a deep breath and looked straight at Ryan. In so many ways Ryan was old. But sometimes, when Sandy looked into Ryan's bottomless ocean blue eyes, he saw the child that was buried way inside and was dying to come out. He and Kirsten had hoped to at least give Ryan that — a few years to be a child, before he really had to become an adult. But he knew that they — he had failed him.

"I know what I did was unforgivable, but I need you to try and find a way to forgive me, or – or to at least look me in the face."

"Like I said, you didn't hit me. It's okay."

"If it's really okay, then why won't you stay in the room with me for more than two minutes?"

Ryan looked down and studied the car, running his fingers up and down the soft leather interior.

"Please look at me Ryan."

Sandy's voice sounded so earnest, nothing like Ryan had ever heard before and something in the voice made him comply. He picked up his chin and looked Sandy in the eye. Sandy was relieved when he saw his son listening to him. Maybe they could get somewhere.

"It's not what you did, Sandy. We all know that I use my hands when I'm angry. I can understand that you hit me. Or rather would hit me," he quickly corrected when he saw Sandy begin to protest. "But it's not what you did, it's what you said."

For a minute, Sandy looked bewildered. There had been so many emotions rushing through him that night. He worked hard, flipping through his memories like a Rolodex, trying to come up with the words that had hurt Ryan so much that he refused to talk to him. And then it came rushing back.

This is how you repay us for everything we've done for you?

"They were just words, Ryan." But it sounded hollow even to Sandy.

"Anger or not, there was truth to it."

Sandy sank back in his seat. "Kirsten and I don't expect anything from you. No more than the expectations we have of Seth. We expect you to be happy and to do the best that you can. The truth is, that you did wrong Ryan. Seth had a problem and it needed our intervention. We were too blind to see it, but you should have come to us if you saw it."

"I know."

Sandy nodded, glad that Ryan accepted his culpability. "So, yes, you let us down. Being part of a family means that we all look out for each other. And you didn't do your part. But it's over and we can get past it. What I said… it came out twisted and wrong because of the anger."

Sandy could easily read the inner conflict, which was plainly written all over Ryan's face and in his body language. Ryan was angry with his adoptive father, but Sandy's words had taken their desired effect. He could see Ryan struggling to maintain his anger despite Sandy's words.

Sandy pressed on. "Ryan, I can't take back what I said. I can't take back what I did. But if we don't keep on living and communicating, then we can never rebuild our relationship. I can't earn your trust again."

Ryan nodded once. "Okay."

And Sandy sighed with relief.

"You'll stop running away from me?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Sandy faced forward. "Maybe we can go get a Balboa bar or," he stole a sideways glance at Ryan, "maybe we should get you back to bed. You don't look very good."

Ryan remembered the promise to himself that he would hit the next person who commented on the way he looked, and decided it wouldn't help rebuild the trust that Sandy was talking about.

"So, you're going to tell me why Kirsten and I have to come down to school and conference with your homeroom teacher tomorrow?"

"He called? Oh, shit," Ryan muttered. "I mean, shoot," he amended quickly.

Sandy laughed. "You meant shit."

"Yeah, I meant shit," Ryan said wryly. "Um, so I guess you want an explanation."

"I'd like to know what I'm in for."

So Ryan told him about that morning. He expected Sandy to chastise him for contradicting a teacher, or for not picking his battles. The whole incident had been stupid and blown out of proportion. Ryan knew that he had overreacted. He didn't expect Sandy to laugh.

"You're not angry?"

"Oh, Ryan," Sandy said through his laughter, "There's been way too much anger these past few days." He was laughing so hard, tears started to run down his face.

"It's not that funny," Ryan said. "Mr. Tolliver was really pissed."

"I'm sure he was. We'll take care of it tomorrow." Sandy reached out and squeezed Ryan's knee. "Should we go home?"

"Yeah."

"Then buckle up."

Sandy pulled back onto the freeway and for a few minutes they drove in a comfortable silence. Ryan stared at the road and replayed the day's events in his head. He thought about what Sandy had said, that it had been his responsibility to the family to tell Sandy and Kirsten about Seth's problem. He thought how Seth was still hanging out with Mitch which no doubt would impede his recovery and Ryan knew what he had to do.

"Seth's still hanging out with Mitch," he said.

Sandy took his eyes off the road and stared at Ryan. "I know that I asked Seth to stay away from Mitch, but I didn't think that it would really work. I mean, forbid a teenager to do something and most likely they'll do the opposite."

Only then did Ryan realize that Sandy didn't know who Mitch really was.

"Sandy, Mitch is the one who started Seth on drugs."

Sandy clutched the steering wheel with both hands and kept his eyes focused on the road. "What do you mean?"

So Ryan started to tell him everything he knew, knowing that he was bound to get Sandy angry at him all over again, when he realized how long he knew about Seth's problem and that not once did he approach Sandy or Kirsten with what was happening.

"A few months ago, Seth called me to come pick him up. He was at Mitch's place and he was high. He told me it was the first time he had used. Then the night of the dinner party, I walked into his room and Seth was smoking pot." Ryan hesitated. "I asked him where he got it, but he wouldn't say. I thought it was Mitch. Then you walked in." Ryan took a deep breath. "Later, Mitch admitted it to me at the dinner party."

Sandy suddenly braked. Once again, he pulled the car onto the shoulder. "Mitch admitted it to you. At the dinner party? Right before you slugged him?" asked Sandy.

"Yeah. I mean yes." Ryan hadn't meant to bring things back to that. He didn't need to remind Sandy of the trouble he had caused.

"Is that why you hit him?"

"He goaded me," Ryan admitted. You never did any drugs with your first mommy? He wouldn't tell Sandy about that. "Mitch is bad news. You've got to trust me on that. And no matter how sincere Seth is about giving up the drugs, with Mitch around it's going to be that much harder." He then told Sandy about his confrontation with Mitch that afternoon.

"I know that was hard for you. But I'm glad you told me."

Ryan hated how everything was suddenly tense and serious. The proud look in Sandy's eyes was almost too much to bear. He had done what Sandy had wanted him to do, turned to him for help. But he didn't want to make a big deal about it. He just wanted to let the moment pass.

"So, am I still grounded?" Ryan asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"What?" Sandy asked, as if being shaken out of a reverie.

"Well, I was grounded until I told you about what happened at the dinner party."

"Oh God. I'd forgotten about that."

And for the second time that afternoon Sandy laughed until tears ran down his cheeks.

Seth sat at the kitchen table playing with his half-eaten sandwich. He'd been hungry when he had come home from school, but after only a couple of bites, he'd lost his appetite. The sandwich had been his mother's idea. He had been content with grabbing a couple of cookies, but Kirsten had insisted that she could assemble a sandwich for him, a much healthier alternative to cookies. It had made his mother happy to coddle him, and Seth liked seeing his mother happy again.

"Where's Dad?" Seth asked, leaning forward. "He's supposed to take me to a meeting today." After confronting Ryan earlier that day, Seth was desperate for a meeting. If he still had drugs in his room, he would definitely use them. He was also desperate not to run into Ryan again, but knew that would probably be impossible. Unless he camped out in the pool house, but Sandy and Kirsten would never allow that.

"He'll be home soon. He picked Ryan up from school so that they could talk."

"Did he forget about my meeting?"

"I'm sure he didn't, sweetie. It's just that he couldn't let this thing with Ryan continue."

Seth sighed and collapsed back in his chair. It seemed that whenever he needed his dad, Ryan needed him too. And he told Kirsten what he felt. That's what Dr. Acobas had suggested at his session the other day.

"Don't bottle things inside. If something's bothering you, tell your parents, bring it out in the open so you can work it all out."

Kirsten titled her head and thoughtfully looked at her son as he told her that it seemed like whenever he needed one of them, they were either with Ryan or Hope. She thought it was odd that her seventeen-year-old was having a severe case of sibling jealousy. She hadn't bothered to read up on it, because she never imagined it would be a problem. Definitely not with the baby. What seventeen-year-old was jealous of a baby? And why should he be jealous of Ryan. The two were always so close and hadn't it been Seth's idea to bring Ryan into their family. Sandy had brought him home for the weekend, but if it weren't for Seth, Ryan would be locked up or in a foster home, a group home or worse Juvie. But he was jealous. And he was right.

Seth was the one struggling to kick a drug addiction and suddenly the focus had turned on Ryan. Ryan had a cold. Ryan was hurting, because they had overreacted to his poor judgment. Ryan wasn't adjusting to being part of the family as easily as they had hoped. Right now, Seth needed his parents every bit as much as Ryan if not more. So Kirsten pulled out the chair beside Seth and sat down next to him and pulled Seth's head down onto her chest, just like she used to do when he was a little boy. He used to resist then and he resisted now, but she held tight and soon he relaxed and let his mother hug him.

"If Dad doesn't come back in time, then I'll take you, but I know he didn't forget. He loves you."

As if to prove her words, Sandy walked in at just that moment with Ryan trailing behind. The two looked like they had been through the wars and Kirsten wanted to make sure that Ryan was all right, but Seth needed to know that she was there for him, so she didn't move. But when Seth saw his brother, he wriggled from his mother's grasp and sat up. Sandy was already pulling out a chair across from them with a serious look on his face.

"Ryan," Kirsten called without getting up from the table. She held Seth's hand firmly in hers. "You look awful. That cold isn't getting better. Go up to bed and I'll be up in a little while." Kirsten sensed that she and Sandy needed some alone time with Seth. She could tell from her husband's knitted brows that he needed to talk with Seth and it was serious.

Ryan nodded and slowly shuffled out of the room, throwing a few backwards glances on his way out. As soon as Sandy saw that Ryan was halfway up the stairs, he started to talk.

"How are you doing today?"

"Okay," Seth said slowly.

"Ryan and I, we did a lot of talking this afternoon." Sandy took a deep breath. "I know that this is the worst possible thing for me to say, but Seth, I don't want you anywhere near Mitch Weider again. Do you understand me?"

"He's my friend, Dad."

"He's not your friend Seth. Your friend wouldn't give you drugs. He wouldn't get you hooked on drugs."

"Ryan doesn't know what he's talking about."

Sandy shook his head vehemently. "This is not about Ryan. Ryan is doing what he should have done after that dinner party. Mitch admitted to him that he gave you the drugs. I don't want you near him. It's not worth a relapse."

"He's a good guy," Seth said, his voice rising. "I won't use. I promise. But Mitch is a good friend."

"He's been nothing but trouble, Seth."

Kirsten swallowed, wanting to jump into the conversation, but not sure what to say. She wished Sandy had come to her first so they could discuss this. Seth was a teenager. He would go behind their backs if he was determined to see his friend and that was just too great a risk right now. It was the type of behavior that would bring him back to drug use. But she wouldn't contradict Sandy in front of Seth. They had to be a united front on this. Seth turned to Kirsten with an imploring look and she knew she had to say something.

"Seth, honey, did you get the drugs from Mitch?"

Seth blinked and nodded. "He gave me some samples. Just to try. Then I bought the rest on my own. He hooked me up with his dealer."

"Then do you think it's wise to continue being friends with him?"

"I can be friends with him and not use. I promise."

"Look," she said, putting her hand on his arm. "I know that at the NA meetings you've been just taking a back seat, but I want you to try and find the courage to talk to someone tonight and ask them what they think. Someone who's been on the road to recovery for a while. If you do that we can table the discussion for now and discuss it after the meeting."

"You think they're going to say I have to ignore Mitch."

Kirsten nodded.

"What if they don't?"

She shrugged. "Then we'll talk about it then." She looked at Sandy, who looked surprised, but not upset.

"Dad?" Seth said turning to his father.

"It's a game plan."

"Okay," Seth sighed.

"You know," Kirsten said, glancing at her watch. "Dad and Ryan had their time today. Why don't the two of you go out to dinner before the meeting? Have some SethDad time."

When she saw the grin spread on Sandy's lips she knew why she loved her husband so much. He hadn't thought of the idea, but he was genuinely thrilled at it. Seth was thrilled too. She'd talk to Sandy later and catch him up on everything. While they were out she'd take care of Ryan and check up on the baby. Kirsten wondered how she had taken care of her family while working full time.

"Let's go Seth," Sandy said, fishing his keys out of his pants pocket. "What are you in the mood for? Chinese? Mexican? Sushi?"

"How about a little of everything? Do they have any restaurants that do that? Wouldn't that be awesome?"

Seth got up and focusing on his night out with his father, quickly forgetting about the intense conversation that had just occurred moments before. Kirsten stood simultaneously with Sandy and walked around the table to kiss her husband.

"I love you," she said.

"Ditto."

"Have fun."

"We will. And thanks," he whispered. "You saved my ass in there. I went about it all wrong."

Kirsten ran her tongue over her lips, trying to hide her amusement. "That's why God created women. Come on, go," she urged, slapping his rear end. "Your son needs you."

I try not to beg for reviews, but I have thoughts about this chapter and am curious about what y'all think.