Chapter Two
Perky's Porn
I wait in the corridor for a minute, waiting for Ms Perky. An unwritten rule of Padua is don't interrupt her when you can hear music coming from her office. Otherwise you're likely to hear things you don't want to hear.
The music stops, abruptly. I wait another few seconds to make sure that it's not going to start again and walk over. She's talking to herself.
"Swollen," she says, as if trying to remember something. "Turgid."
"Tumescent?" I say helpfully, more to tell her I'm there than anything.
She looks up and spots me. "Perfect!" She types for a minute then closes her laptop and looks at me. "So, I hear you've been terrorizing Mr Morgan's class again?" Wow, great opener, Miss! Very counselling.
"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action." I sit down, slightly reluctantly.
"The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway?" Damn! She had to bring that up, the bitch. He tried to grope me, OK? "By the way, I hear his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, if you're interested." I'm not, OK? So stop going on about it!
She seems to have taken my furiously telepathically communicated advice. "The thing is, Kat." she glances down at the cup she's just picked up. "Cat!" She laughs, I raise my eyebrows and sigh in an isn't-that-just-a- little-lame kind of way. She purrs and laughs again, then abruptly gets down to business.
Actually, that's a bad phrase to use with Ms Perky. You never quite know what business means.
"Some people perceive you as a little."
"Tempestuous?" I cut in. I wouldn't mind being known as tempestuous.
"Heinous bitch is the term used most often." Ooh, even better! I've always wanted to be a heinous bitch! "You might want to work on that." I stand up.
"As always, thank you for your excellent guidance," I say, sarcastically. "I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member."
The sarcasm's lost on her, though. As I leave, I hear her say, "Quivering member. I like that." Then the music goes back on, and believe me, I don't strain my ears to hear what she says next.
Perky's Porn
I wait in the corridor for a minute, waiting for Ms Perky. An unwritten rule of Padua is don't interrupt her when you can hear music coming from her office. Otherwise you're likely to hear things you don't want to hear.
The music stops, abruptly. I wait another few seconds to make sure that it's not going to start again and walk over. She's talking to herself.
"Swollen," she says, as if trying to remember something. "Turgid."
"Tumescent?" I say helpfully, more to tell her I'm there than anything.
She looks up and spots me. "Perfect!" She types for a minute then closes her laptop and looks at me. "So, I hear you've been terrorizing Mr Morgan's class again?" Wow, great opener, Miss! Very counselling.
"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action." I sit down, slightly reluctantly.
"The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway?" Damn! She had to bring that up, the bitch. He tried to grope me, OK? "By the way, I hear his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, if you're interested." I'm not, OK? So stop going on about it!
She seems to have taken my furiously telepathically communicated advice. "The thing is, Kat." she glances down at the cup she's just picked up. "Cat!" She laughs, I raise my eyebrows and sigh in an isn't-that-just-a- little-lame kind of way. She purrs and laughs again, then abruptly gets down to business.
Actually, that's a bad phrase to use with Ms Perky. You never quite know what business means.
"Some people perceive you as a little."
"Tempestuous?" I cut in. I wouldn't mind being known as tempestuous.
"Heinous bitch is the term used most often." Ooh, even better! I've always wanted to be a heinous bitch! "You might want to work on that." I stand up.
"As always, thank you for your excellent guidance," I say, sarcastically. "I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member."
The sarcasm's lost on her, though. As I leave, I hear her say, "Quivering member. I like that." Then the music goes back on, and believe me, I don't strain my ears to hear what she says next.