Chapter Five
Pain Felt
Gordo watched Lizzie as she lay on the bed. He was sitting on the other bed, and it was becoming very clear that time was running out for him to make a move. The worst part of it all was that he didn't know how to approach her. What if she completely freaked out? What would happen to them if they broke up again? Gordo couldn't help but stare at her as she was there with her eyes closed as if she knew she were hot and as if she knew she was driving him crazy.
"Gordo," Lizzie said, with her eyes still shut, "Do you want to go to a movie this afternoon?"
"Sure," Gordo said.
"Okay," Lizzie said and she didn't move for a few minutes. She only offered the movie in desperation to stop seeming so desperate.
Gordo sighed as he got comfortable on his own bed, thinking that it was time, once and for all, to get this over with, "Lizzie?" he said, speaking softly.
"Hmm?"
Gordo took a deep breath. His goal was to get somewhere with this conversation. Whatever he wanted to say, though, didn't come out right, "What happened?"
Lizzie opened her eyes and turned to Gordo, " 'what happened?' What do you mean?" She propped her head up to get more comfortable.
Deep breaths, Gordo thought, big, deep breaths. Otherwise, this could get ugly. "I mean with us," he said.
Somehow, Lizzie wasn't expecting that to be said, although she thought the same thing the whole day, "Oh," she said, but she couldn't come up with anything to follow that, "Um, what do you mean?"
Gordo propped his head up and now they were both looking at each other, "You know, with us."
Lizzie swallowed nervously. She wanted this to happen all day, but now she wasn't sure she could handle this, "You mean when we broke up?" That's what she hoped he meant. Otherwise, she really was sincerely confused.
Gordo nodded his head slowly, "It's just every time I think about it, I can't quite remember how it all happened."
Lizzie shrugged, maybe he wasn't interested in getting back together after all, "I kissed Ethan at a party and we broke up."
"Oh."
Lizzie's heart was beating faster than ever. Was that it? Was he going to stop the questioning there?
"Lizzie," Gordo swallowed once again, getting the feeling that the tension presented in the room was mutual, "Do you ever," he paused, maybe that was too much for one time.
"Yes…" Lizzie said, waiting for him to finish his question. Maybe this was going in the right direction after all.
Gordo gazed into Lizzie's eyes and his heart almost melted. He grinned, although he knew he was weakening, but her eyes gave him strength, "Do you ever wonder what it would be like," he paused, seeing if she had any idea where this was going, only he couldn't tell by the expression on her face, "what it would be like if we never broke up?"
There he said it and Lizzie looked at him. She couldn't believe this was happening. It was as though he had been reading her mind all day. A few seconds of silence filtered the hotel room as Lizzie was processing what Gordo was saying, "Do you?" she asked. She wanted to base her answer on his.
Gordo looked down briefly, thinking that what she just said was a bad sign. He was beginning to regret bringing the whole thing up, "Sometimes," he admitted.
Lizzie grinned, glad that they could finally be honest, "Yeah, same here."
This caused Gordo to grin and then he followed "and…"
Oh great, Lizzie thought, here it comes, "and a lot of times I miss it."
Gordo was happy to hear this, and beginning to think that this was totally worth all the silence, "Me too," he admitted.
"It's weird, though," Lizzie said, now wanting to get everything in the open.
"What?"
"You know," Lizzie said, "we've broke up around a year ago and we've remained friends, so I thought it was wrong to think about you like that again."
"Me too."
"Wow," Lizzie said, trying to process all of this, "and you know, sometimes we broke a few of the friendship rules after we broke up and to me, it just always seemed so natural to want to kiss you."
"Same here," Gordo admitted.
"And those times that we were together, I always wondered if there were still any emotions left on your part because there were for me."
This was also coming into Gordo so fast…all this information was like an overload, but in a good way, "You mean, all this time, we kissed and you thought there was something there?"
Lizzie blushed, "I didn't say that."
"Oh," Gordo said.
"But sometimes I felt so into the moment with you that I never wanted to stop."
"Do you miss that?"
"Yeah," she admitted, "But that's not what I missed the most. I missed the emotional part of being so in love with someone that you would do almost anything for them. I think that's the part I missed the most."
"I do, too," Gordo said, "I mean, to be completely honest with you, that whole physical thing was weird because I never knew the boundaries and I always felt something more than just passion or lust."
Lizzie blushed, "Well, I believe that's why we stopped."
"And it was probably a good thing, too," Gordo said, "because had we gone farther, I was pretty sure that it would mean two different things when it was over and I didn't think I could do that to myself."
"Yeah," Lizzie said, "Me, too."
"So," Gordo said, realizing that everything was completely out in the open, "What now?"
"I don't know."
"Do you still wonder about us?"
Lizzie sighed, "All the time."
"Me too," Gordo said, "I never really stopped loving you, you know."
"Me neither," Lizzie said and again, silence lingered as they gazed into each other's eyes.
Both were breathing heavily as they waited for something to happen, but neither was moving, even though they both wanted the same thing, "Lizzie," Gordo said, finally, under his breath, "Do you think it would be possible if we tried dating again?"
Lizzie smiled, "I think it's possible."
Lizzie stood up and Gordo did as well and they both stood there in between their beds and Gordo reached to move hair off of Lizzie's face, "Lizzie," he whispered, stepping one foot closer, making the gap between them only a few inches, "I love you."
Lizzie smiled, "I love you, too."
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" He asked, realizing after he said it how cheesy it sounded.
Lizzie blushed and looked down, but she smiled, "Only if you promise this won't be the last and that it will be meaningful."
"Everyday I spend with you is meaningful, Lizzie," Gordo said and he then proceeded to pull Lizzie into a long and passionate kiss which let out all the bottled up feelings they'd been keeping and after that, a series of shorter kisses followed.
After several minutes of this, they finally fell onto Lizzie's bed and sighed, happy to be together. They lay there side by side deep into their own thoughts and Gordo and Lizzie held hands tightly and stared at the ceiling above them.
**
"Matt," Miranda said, as she and Matt rested on his bed in the middle of the afternoon, "What do you want to do tonight?"
Their fingers were laced together and Miranda's head was lying on Matt's chest, "I don't know. We can do anything you want to."
Miranda smiled as she reached up to give him a small kiss, "That is just what I like to hear."
Matt grinned as he looked at Miranda, "Were you serious about us possibly telling Gordo and Lizzie about us?"
Miranda stopped smiling and gave this thought, "Do you think we are ready for that?"
Matt shrugged. He really did want to share his love for Miranda with the rest of the world, "I think we are ready for it."
Miranda frowned, "Do you think Lizzie will be mad?"
Matt raised his eyebrow, "Do you think I care?"
Miranda grinned, "Yeah, she can't do anything about it anyway, can she?"
"Besides," Matt thought, "Gordo is pretty rational about everything. He'll calm her down."
"I don't know why the two of them broke up in the first place."
"I don't know. They'll probably get back together, though."
Miranda shrugged, "I don't know. They haven't been out together in such a long time, it would seem kind of weird for them to start it all up again."
Matt rolled his eyes, "Yeah, but those two are inseperable."
"No they aren't," Miranda said, "They aren't together this weekend."
Yeah, they were, Matt thought, but Miranda wasn't supposed to think that, "True. But that doesn't mean that they don't want to be together."
"Wait a minute. Are you suggesting that Gordo and Lizzie like each other now."
Matt grinned, "and what if I am?"
"How would you know? I mean, I can't see Lizzie volunteering this information or anything, especially to you."
"Oh, come on!" Matt said, "Isn't it obvious? Gordo comes here almost every night and it's kind of hard not to hear them flirting sometimes."
"Yeah, but flirting doesn't always mean anything."
Matt sighed, "It does the way they do it."
Miranda gave Matt a strange look, but decided to not say anything about it. She looked down at their hands that were still together and smiled. As strange as he was, she couldn't help put love the guy. She reached under his shirt and rubbed his stomach with her smooth hands as she closed her eyes, "I could stay like this forever," she whispered, and they stayed like that for several minutes before they both drifted off to sleep.
**
After several minutes of silence between the united lovers, Lizzie finally spoke up, "Gordo?"
"Hmm?"
"Remember the last time we were in my room and we were fooling around?"
"Lizzie," Gordo said, "There was several times when we did that. Can you be more specific?"
Lizzie cleared her throat, "Well, the last time we did it, a few weeks ago."
Gordo swallowed. Yeah, he remembered. How could he forget, "Yeah."
"Well, do you ever wonder what would have happened if that phone ever rang? I mean, do you ever think we would have actually gone all the way."
This was always the type of question that perplexed Gordo. Of course he thought about it…he thought about it a lot actually, but on the other hand he wanted to say the right thing.
As if Lizzie could read his mind, she continued, "Because I do. I think about it a lot and sometimes I wonder how things would be different between us or if that would have changed our friendship at all. I mean, I'm glad it didn't happen, because, well, it would have complicated our friendship at the time and I really liked you as more than a friend, so therefore it would have added emotional stress or…Gordo is this making any sense to you?"
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," he said, and he turned his head to face her and they smiled at each other. He leaned in and kissed her hard on the mouth as once again, their feelings intensified with the moment and they stayed like this for several seconds.
Then, as they gasped for air, they gazed into each other and their eyes both sparkled, "I love you so much," Lizzie said, "I've missed this."
Gordo smiled and they kissed again as Gordo's hand rested on Lizzie's hip, "I love you, more," he whispered, as he went in for another kiss, "and it has hurt me everyday for the past year that we were never together."
Lizzie smiled, "I was feeling the same pain," and they shared one last powerful kiss before they rested on the bed for a while, in each others arms.
Pain Felt
Gordo watched Lizzie as she lay on the bed. He was sitting on the other bed, and it was becoming very clear that time was running out for him to make a move. The worst part of it all was that he didn't know how to approach her. What if she completely freaked out? What would happen to them if they broke up again? Gordo couldn't help but stare at her as she was there with her eyes closed as if she knew she were hot and as if she knew she was driving him crazy.
"Gordo," Lizzie said, with her eyes still shut, "Do you want to go to a movie this afternoon?"
"Sure," Gordo said.
"Okay," Lizzie said and she didn't move for a few minutes. She only offered the movie in desperation to stop seeming so desperate.
Gordo sighed as he got comfortable on his own bed, thinking that it was time, once and for all, to get this over with, "Lizzie?" he said, speaking softly.
"Hmm?"
Gordo took a deep breath. His goal was to get somewhere with this conversation. Whatever he wanted to say, though, didn't come out right, "What happened?"
Lizzie opened her eyes and turned to Gordo, " 'what happened?' What do you mean?" She propped her head up to get more comfortable.
Deep breaths, Gordo thought, big, deep breaths. Otherwise, this could get ugly. "I mean with us," he said.
Somehow, Lizzie wasn't expecting that to be said, although she thought the same thing the whole day, "Oh," she said, but she couldn't come up with anything to follow that, "Um, what do you mean?"
Gordo propped his head up and now they were both looking at each other, "You know, with us."
Lizzie swallowed nervously. She wanted this to happen all day, but now she wasn't sure she could handle this, "You mean when we broke up?" That's what she hoped he meant. Otherwise, she really was sincerely confused.
Gordo nodded his head slowly, "It's just every time I think about it, I can't quite remember how it all happened."
Lizzie shrugged, maybe he wasn't interested in getting back together after all, "I kissed Ethan at a party and we broke up."
"Oh."
Lizzie's heart was beating faster than ever. Was that it? Was he going to stop the questioning there?
"Lizzie," Gordo swallowed once again, getting the feeling that the tension presented in the room was mutual, "Do you ever," he paused, maybe that was too much for one time.
"Yes…" Lizzie said, waiting for him to finish his question. Maybe this was going in the right direction after all.
Gordo gazed into Lizzie's eyes and his heart almost melted. He grinned, although he knew he was weakening, but her eyes gave him strength, "Do you ever wonder what it would be like," he paused, seeing if she had any idea where this was going, only he couldn't tell by the expression on her face, "what it would be like if we never broke up?"
There he said it and Lizzie looked at him. She couldn't believe this was happening. It was as though he had been reading her mind all day. A few seconds of silence filtered the hotel room as Lizzie was processing what Gordo was saying, "Do you?" she asked. She wanted to base her answer on his.
Gordo looked down briefly, thinking that what she just said was a bad sign. He was beginning to regret bringing the whole thing up, "Sometimes," he admitted.
Lizzie grinned, glad that they could finally be honest, "Yeah, same here."
This caused Gordo to grin and then he followed "and…"
Oh great, Lizzie thought, here it comes, "and a lot of times I miss it."
Gordo was happy to hear this, and beginning to think that this was totally worth all the silence, "Me too," he admitted.
"It's weird, though," Lizzie said, now wanting to get everything in the open.
"What?"
"You know," Lizzie said, "we've broke up around a year ago and we've remained friends, so I thought it was wrong to think about you like that again."
"Me too."
"Wow," Lizzie said, trying to process all of this, "and you know, sometimes we broke a few of the friendship rules after we broke up and to me, it just always seemed so natural to want to kiss you."
"Same here," Gordo admitted.
"And those times that we were together, I always wondered if there were still any emotions left on your part because there were for me."
This was also coming into Gordo so fast…all this information was like an overload, but in a good way, "You mean, all this time, we kissed and you thought there was something there?"
Lizzie blushed, "I didn't say that."
"Oh," Gordo said.
"But sometimes I felt so into the moment with you that I never wanted to stop."
"Do you miss that?"
"Yeah," she admitted, "But that's not what I missed the most. I missed the emotional part of being so in love with someone that you would do almost anything for them. I think that's the part I missed the most."
"I do, too," Gordo said, "I mean, to be completely honest with you, that whole physical thing was weird because I never knew the boundaries and I always felt something more than just passion or lust."
Lizzie blushed, "Well, I believe that's why we stopped."
"And it was probably a good thing, too," Gordo said, "because had we gone farther, I was pretty sure that it would mean two different things when it was over and I didn't think I could do that to myself."
"Yeah," Lizzie said, "Me, too."
"So," Gordo said, realizing that everything was completely out in the open, "What now?"
"I don't know."
"Do you still wonder about us?"
Lizzie sighed, "All the time."
"Me too," Gordo said, "I never really stopped loving you, you know."
"Me neither," Lizzie said and again, silence lingered as they gazed into each other's eyes.
Both were breathing heavily as they waited for something to happen, but neither was moving, even though they both wanted the same thing, "Lizzie," Gordo said, finally, under his breath, "Do you think it would be possible if we tried dating again?"
Lizzie smiled, "I think it's possible."
Lizzie stood up and Gordo did as well and they both stood there in between their beds and Gordo reached to move hair off of Lizzie's face, "Lizzie," he whispered, stepping one foot closer, making the gap between them only a few inches, "I love you."
Lizzie smiled, "I love you, too."
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" He asked, realizing after he said it how cheesy it sounded.
Lizzie blushed and looked down, but she smiled, "Only if you promise this won't be the last and that it will be meaningful."
"Everyday I spend with you is meaningful, Lizzie," Gordo said and he then proceeded to pull Lizzie into a long and passionate kiss which let out all the bottled up feelings they'd been keeping and after that, a series of shorter kisses followed.
After several minutes of this, they finally fell onto Lizzie's bed and sighed, happy to be together. They lay there side by side deep into their own thoughts and Gordo and Lizzie held hands tightly and stared at the ceiling above them.
**
"Matt," Miranda said, as she and Matt rested on his bed in the middle of the afternoon, "What do you want to do tonight?"
Their fingers were laced together and Miranda's head was lying on Matt's chest, "I don't know. We can do anything you want to."
Miranda smiled as she reached up to give him a small kiss, "That is just what I like to hear."
Matt grinned as he looked at Miranda, "Were you serious about us possibly telling Gordo and Lizzie about us?"
Miranda stopped smiling and gave this thought, "Do you think we are ready for that?"
Matt shrugged. He really did want to share his love for Miranda with the rest of the world, "I think we are ready for it."
Miranda frowned, "Do you think Lizzie will be mad?"
Matt raised his eyebrow, "Do you think I care?"
Miranda grinned, "Yeah, she can't do anything about it anyway, can she?"
"Besides," Matt thought, "Gordo is pretty rational about everything. He'll calm her down."
"I don't know why the two of them broke up in the first place."
"I don't know. They'll probably get back together, though."
Miranda shrugged, "I don't know. They haven't been out together in such a long time, it would seem kind of weird for them to start it all up again."
Matt rolled his eyes, "Yeah, but those two are inseperable."
"No they aren't," Miranda said, "They aren't together this weekend."
Yeah, they were, Matt thought, but Miranda wasn't supposed to think that, "True. But that doesn't mean that they don't want to be together."
"Wait a minute. Are you suggesting that Gordo and Lizzie like each other now."
Matt grinned, "and what if I am?"
"How would you know? I mean, I can't see Lizzie volunteering this information or anything, especially to you."
"Oh, come on!" Matt said, "Isn't it obvious? Gordo comes here almost every night and it's kind of hard not to hear them flirting sometimes."
"Yeah, but flirting doesn't always mean anything."
Matt sighed, "It does the way they do it."
Miranda gave Matt a strange look, but decided to not say anything about it. She looked down at their hands that were still together and smiled. As strange as he was, she couldn't help put love the guy. She reached under his shirt and rubbed his stomach with her smooth hands as she closed her eyes, "I could stay like this forever," she whispered, and they stayed like that for several minutes before they both drifted off to sleep.
**
After several minutes of silence between the united lovers, Lizzie finally spoke up, "Gordo?"
"Hmm?"
"Remember the last time we were in my room and we were fooling around?"
"Lizzie," Gordo said, "There was several times when we did that. Can you be more specific?"
Lizzie cleared her throat, "Well, the last time we did it, a few weeks ago."
Gordo swallowed. Yeah, he remembered. How could he forget, "Yeah."
"Well, do you ever wonder what would have happened if that phone ever rang? I mean, do you ever think we would have actually gone all the way."
This was always the type of question that perplexed Gordo. Of course he thought about it…he thought about it a lot actually, but on the other hand he wanted to say the right thing.
As if Lizzie could read his mind, she continued, "Because I do. I think about it a lot and sometimes I wonder how things would be different between us or if that would have changed our friendship at all. I mean, I'm glad it didn't happen, because, well, it would have complicated our friendship at the time and I really liked you as more than a friend, so therefore it would have added emotional stress or…Gordo is this making any sense to you?"
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," he said, and he turned his head to face her and they smiled at each other. He leaned in and kissed her hard on the mouth as once again, their feelings intensified with the moment and they stayed like this for several seconds.
Then, as they gasped for air, they gazed into each other and their eyes both sparkled, "I love you so much," Lizzie said, "I've missed this."
Gordo smiled and they kissed again as Gordo's hand rested on Lizzie's hip, "I love you, more," he whispered, as he went in for another kiss, "and it has hurt me everyday for the past year that we were never together."
Lizzie smiled, "I was feeling the same pain," and they shared one last powerful kiss before they rested on the bed for a while, in each others arms.