Disclaimer: Harry Potter was not mine last chapter, and he's not mine this chapter...trust me, when he is, I'll let you know. I'm running out of clever disclaimer ideas!

Thanks to:

Monikka: heeheehee...I guess you're getting bored/annoyed with me, eh? First this is about an annoying character, then you get really mad at my dragon&kitty story...sorry! Well, after I read your review I decided you had a really good point- for a Slytherin, Mercy has no backbone! So, here it is!

leafs-gurl999:I'm glad you love it! I love it too! It's my favorite story, and i love Mercy and i love poor Tom!

19 September

dear diary:

I'm going to go to sleep now...gods know I need and deserve it. This morning, I woke up and went into the common room to read. I always wake up early, and I'm never the only one up. I usually come out at the same time Tom Riddle does. I stayed out, waiting for him to come down, but didn't. Everyone else got up, eventually, and by twelve thirty, Tom was the only person in the entire house who hadn't come down. What was I supposed to do? I went up to the boy's dormitories and, since I know which bed is his from the last time I went up to see him sleeping, I could find it.

I was going to wake him up, but he looked so innocent. I had to watch it. I remember watching him sleep like that, like a child, and I sat down beside him on the bed. I felt this sort of burning feeling, this twisted sort of feeling. I wanted that!

Envy, that's it. I was jealous of him. Of how he could just lie there like that, sleeping, and not have his sleep haunted. It's not fair. It's not fair at all.

But then I felt terrible for having ever been so jealous. He just doesn't seem innocent, I guess, so when he was asleep, it just caught me off guard.

Soon, his perfect, handsome face was clouded, his features screwed up in a frown. He murmured something, I remember—I couldn't quite make it out. But then, later, he cried out, "Have mercy!" and I was so scared for him, I thought of maybe even singing. How embarrassing. Singing. But I just touched his face- and I touched his mouth.

How could I? How did I dare? I don't know what came over me, but I did, and he woke up, gasping, like he had been drowning.

We talked a little bit, and he said he hadn't been dreaming. He must have forgotten. Well, I'm not pushing it. I never do, after all, the silence can teach you many things.

Later that day, towards the evening, he walked over to the gaggle of girls that were beside me. Of course, he's Tom Riddle, who's completely ruled by his wanker, and therefore he started flirting with the girls that were there. It made me fairly angry, but I've always been able to keep my cool. I had to step forward, however, when it seemed that I was the only girl who caught on to his ruse. Honestly, are Slytherins the only ones with brains?

When he asked what we were doing, I told that ridiculous fourth year Hufflepuff, Latrice Corning, to tell him that we were looking for the giant squid. Naturally he fell for it. I walked up to him and he almost kissed me, but I threw him into the lake. I felt so tainted after touching him—he certainly didn't seem so innocent then—but I felt much better when I saw how he looked when he came out of the lake...oh, he was positively livid! And a bit startled and, poor thing, dismayed. I laughed at him, along with the others. I know he never thought me capable of it. Laughter. Or sadism. Well, surprise, surprise, Tom Riddle.

I lectured him a bit, and I had a lot of fun, disgracing him, teasing him, et cetera. And last, and this surprised me quite a bit, I said, "But if you still want that kiss, Tom, I'd be happy to oblige now."

And I wasn't sure if I was going to kiss him! But gods, oh sweet mother of Fenris, I leaned in and I kissed him, oh, I thought he'd recoil, and then I would laugh at him- I had it all planned out! He'd recoil, and I'd laugh at him and say, "Not so eager now, are you, Riddle?" and I knew he'd be furious. I also knew he'd try to get me back, but I wasn't afraid of his vengeance.

But as out lips were pressed together, it appeared to be that he was, as a matter of fact, still quite eager to kiss. And not just kiss. And I must be careful of that. I must not allow myself to fall prey to the desires of a madman.

Oh, he did not recoil. I curse myself now, I should have known better, should've known that he was very experienced in such matters, and knew what he was doing. He kissed me back, and I felt his tongue against my lips, and I knew that I had made a grave mistake in playing with his wanton wishes. I should not have tempted him. He would take me and then move on to the next girl. I was a fool.

I pulled back hurriedly, and I know he saw how afraid I was. How frightened, too frightened to linger on those scandalous lips of his. Then I realised what I had done to him—made him want another being. Then I smiled. It gave me reason to smile.

But I had been so afraid by that longing in his dark blue eyes, eyes that burn as though the very fires of hell were lit behind them.

And perhaps they are. Poor Tom. Perhaps they are.

I didn't stay around to find out.

Not long ago, actually, I went up into the boy's dorms to talk to him, apologise I guess, and he was fairly snappish, although I can't say that comes as any shock. When he sneezed, though, my heart sort of fell out from under me, that's such an innocent thing- I mean, what sort of Dark wizard sneezes? – I reached out to touch his face. He didn't like it. Okay, I reasoned, Dark wizard – to- be, then.

I told him I wanted to talk. He told me to sit on his bed, and then when I hesitated, he asked if I was afraid he'd rape me. I felt the words well up in my throat; not rape, Tom, but be taken willingly....I must retain my innocence. I must. I won't let you down, mother.

We did talk. And oh, he tested me, plenty times, and he almost had me a while, but I am not a fool. Mother knew better than to raise a fool.

Then he asked me to stay there with him, all night. I refused, and got up to leave, and I told him to get some other girl- after all, it isn't fair that he should pick me. Why me? Of all the girls in our house, in our school- and he let it slip: he had wanted me at the lake. Not any other girl. Not just any girl. But me.

I fled. Can you blame me?

I told Helen a bit, but she's not that sympathetic. She doesn't understand why I fled. Ah, Helen, if you only knew, if only you had heard my mother's dying words. Of course, they weren't really. But my mother is dead. To a point.

I remember her dying words so well..

"Will you miss me? Tell me, Sigyn, will you?"

"I- I don't know mother."

Her face fell, but she looked strangely contented. "Then you will not be like me. You must never be like me. Do you swear it?"

"I swear it, mother."

"Good." She leaned back. "Perhaps the gods will show your soul more mercy than they ever showed me."

It wasn't fair of her to name me Sigyn. Sigyn Pandora Vice. Not fair at all. That is why I changed my name. After all, Pandora brought shame and sorrow to the world through her curiosity and Sigyn...suffered because of the sins of her consort.

Like my fool mother.

And I will not be like you, mother. I will never be like you.