This is something I wrote when the other computer with the actual chapter update on it stopped working... I may rewrite it if it doesn't get back up fast enough. This part of the story was supposed to follow the one that was doing. This chapter and the next are in first person so don't be caught off guard by it. It gives a detailed view into a certain character and some things that I planned on putting in a certain other fic but I did not.

There will be a lot of flashbacks in this example because it focuses on the only pairing I've done in my perfect dark writing career to date, also for the storyline purpose the flashbacks are not in order of how they actually happened. Also the flashbacks on the most part revive some of the funnier, and frankly better parts of my first fic. I may do more of these (without as many flashbacks if any in some cases) if you guys like it... pick a character for me to do, maybe even dedicating a story to it.

Enjoy...

I walked out of the Institute main doors and towards the elevator, as I waited for the elevator to head down to the car park. Joanna definitely seemed to know something was going on...was I really making it that obvious...

The doors opened and I stepped out and headed to my car... that's something else that's changed since then, I didn't have a car before... well I didn't need one... the Institute was in walking distance before.

Flashback...

"Mind if I drop you home?" Natasha asked
"Err no thanks" I said. I didn't want to intrude on her... although I looked outside and it was typically pouring with rain, almost as if it had been set up that way.
"Are you sure?" Natasha smiled. God, that girl was so attractive, her perfect teeth to match those beautiful eyes...
"Well alright" I said. I hoped I made it sound as if I was convinced rather then I wanted to be with her...

End flashback...

I took out my keys and turned off the alarm, even though only the institute members worked here I still used it, Grimshaw years ago had a bit of a habit of trying to hack into the electrical locks common on the cars here and go for a joy ride. However now days he doesn't get away with it as the remote will now alert the owner so they can stop him before he drives off. Sure he returned the car, but he'd be sure to let you know what he did by the things he left in there.

Flashback count: 2.

Natasha was very annoyed for some reason; I was doing my final examination today. I knew that I would pretty much have to score worse then zero not to pass the Institute test, but I so wanted to break the previous record, and do so I'd need to get near perfect in this test. So I was hoping Natasha would have some reassuring words, I assumed that some agent didn't return a device, generally the usual reason that Natasha was ticked off. I steered well clear of her, however as I went into the cafeteria and sat down just for a minute to compose myself. However Natasha sat down on the other side of the table.

"Oh hi Jonathan, I guess this is your final examination today..." Natasha still sounded annoyed

"Yeah..." I replied... I had heard stories from some of the other guys at the Institute that you don't want to get on the wrong side of Natasha...

"Ill honestly kill him, when Carrington permits it" Natasha said.

"Who?" I asked... I wondered who'd be the agent who'd receive a certain stern talking to by Carrington.

"Grimshaw of course..." Natasha replied as if was the most obvious thing ever.

"Grimshaw?" I asked surprised.

"Well who else would put cameras and have my data screen on my car read, guess who! I got you..." Natasha said "I thought the message was the only thing, but after scanning the car over there were some micro cameras in it as well. On top of that, there was super glue on the drivers seat but fortunately I noticed it before sitting down" Natasha sounded upset rather then angry now

"Oh... I'm sorry" I replied... Natasha looked really upset by the whole thing, I didn't understand it, being bothered by Grimshaw isn't really that much of a big deal, he has so many weaknesses it would be a piece of cake for anybody to exploit them, he was pretty disliked across the Institute as well.

"I just don't know if anybody in the Institute likes me" Natasha was trying to hold back tears, it was obvious "none of the girls talk to me, sure some of the guys drool over me but that's not because of who I am. My parents didn't want me to work here... now I hoped maybe I had listened to them" Natasha said

"None of the girls talk to you because you are far smarter, and are a better person in general then them. Some of the guys like you but probably for the wrong reasons as you said... and don't worry about Grimshaw, he bothers everybody" I said.

"I guess he does" Natasha sighed

"Besides Carrington definitely likes you, and... I like you..." I felt really stupid then, I did like Natasha but not only because of her beauty for which almost every guy in the institute talked about at least once, she was by far the most attractive in the Institute.

Natasha was silent for a minute then a big smile grew on her face. "Thanks Jonathan those are the just the words I needed to hear... I guess it's only the people who don't really count that don't like me... anyway good luck, break the record and come see me later" Natasha said as she walked off

I sat back and smiled to myself, the smile on Natasha's face made me forget about the test until she mentioned it again... but I was far more relaxed.

Of course her looks naturally attracted attention, rumours about her varied from turning down a multi million dollar modelling contract to work at the Institute to that she had done a lot of operations with plastic surgery and other stuff to make her look this way, although despite what everybody else said I knew no rumour about her was true. However then I notice Foster smile at me from the distance... he walked up to me.

"That was a good thing you did Dark" Foster said

"Yeah well whatever..." I replied. I was certain it was him who started the strip dancing club rumour about Natasha because Carrington mentioned once that's where he was, Foster's creditability took a bit of hit for about a month. After that Carrington never said the true reason why somebody wasn't at work but he almost always knew.

After the test came and went with me doing it with a perfect score... and breaking the record, Carrington looked very happy... giving a 99% and an A. He said he'd throw a party, something very rarely done by Carrington. After that I saw Natasha in the device lab.

"I heard the news... congratulations" Natasha said

"Thanks" I smiled, I was very happy with my own result

"Now let's find a way of getting back at Grimshaw..." Natasha smiled in an almost evil fashion

"What do you have in mind?" I asked

Night, at the party...

"Did you do it Natasha?" I whispered to her. She sat next to me,

"Yup, I can't believe he made it so easy" Natasha giggled. It was a little unlike her, but still good to see.

Grimshaw was standing in the middle of the cafeteria dancing with another Institute girl who was too drunk to know who she was really holding. Either that or Grimshaw had a device that made her that way.

"Oaggh.. hang on a second..." Grimshaw said...

Suddenly some substance began to fall underneath Grimshaw... he began to look really embarrassed

"Hey look everybody, Grimshaw's peeing his pants" Foster laughed, he was talking with some of the other guys.

Everybody turned to Grimshaw and sure enough there he was in the middle of the Institute cafeteria peeing his pants. Needless to say, Grimshaw ran out of the cafeteria, very fast indeed. Natasha was laughing so much I had never seen laugh like that before. Even Carrington was having a bit of a laugh at Grimshaw's misfortune.

End Flashback....

That was a good day... and Grimshaw never tried to open cars again, although that could have been because when he tried to do Sean's car the very next day, Natasha put locks on the car that would inform her and Sean that his car was currently being hacked into, so Grimshaw got a nasty surprise when the two of them came and caught him red handed. Although I didn't know Sean back then... he was just another guy who came to the Institute to finish his training.

I drove out of the Institute and flew into the sky; there was one good point about the Institute being in the middle of nowhere as opposed to in the middle of a crowded city, there was no traffic in the air or on the ground. I remember that because of gossip going around Natasha was formal in the Institute when giving me a briefing but she still got her jokes in...

Flashback count: 3

I was a bit nervous still, second assignment and after seeing former friend, now deadly rival Terrance still alive and working for dataDyne I badly wanted my revenge. I headed into the device lab and this strange device comes up to me, before I know it does a flash leaving me stunned for a few seconds. Blinking I see Natasha with a remote control in hand.

"What was that?" I asked still recovering

"Camspy, useful thing isn't it I hope you like your picture" Natasha laughed. Ever since that Grimshaw incident she seemed a lot happier. I saw myself with this stupid expression of shock on my face...

"Geez thanks" I rolled my eyes

"You could do with it on your mission; it works like the bombspy that Foster developed with us. This one won't blow up, but instead it can transfer pictures back to us as well as any conversation" Natasha explained

"Excellent, I may begin to like this device after all" I replied

"I know I can trust you with this, since unlike some agents you are known to return stuff" Natasha said
"You do have another one don't you? You never know what can happen in the field" I said, I had just got on Natasha's good side, and I didn't want to go back.

"Yes, just be careful with it" Natasha replied "I would like to see it return but I'm more than use to

things magically disappearing due to careless acts" Natasha said. Out of about 5 devices she handed to agents about 2 of them returned in useable condition on average. Most of the time because they didn't really understand how the device was supposed to work.

"I'll do my best, but first let me get the hang of how to use this thing" I said, then my mind wondered of how I could best use this right now...

"It's no different to the bombspy, you see through here as usual" Natasha pointed to a screen on the remote

I moved the camspy around towards the door then suddenly turned it around before elbowing Natasha to put her off balance then taking a picture of her.

"Okay, very funny, you understand how to use it?" Natasha said as she folded the device up into a really small shape.

End flashback...

That sentence described Natasha very well... she liked a laugh, but when it came down to it she was very serious about her job... that was a lot like me and a part about her I could definitely relate to. Of course when nobody could be watching she tended to relax her formal approach to work.

Flashback count: 4

We had driven on for quite a long while now, well away from the dataDyne building. I was slightly annoyed I didn't get Terrance but it didn't matter... as I kept telling myself that would come. Natasha looked back, brushing her long light brown hair backwards.

"Not that they ever gave chase but I think we lost them" Natasha said "Shall we celebrate?" Natasha stopped her Ferrari.

"I guess" I replied, I liked Natasha but I was always conscious of relationships that could form, I didn't want to hurt her. Natasha pressed another button and two glasses appeared, and they filled with champagne.
"To your success; and all of those to come" Natasha raised her glass
"One can hope" I said as I raised my glass.

End flashback

Little did I know then, Grimshaw and Elvis saw the entire thing. However Natasha must have liked my company too because she had got Carrington's approval to be on the next mission with me in Italy, she kissed me for the first time on that plane... well was about to until I spotted an Institute camera and destroyed it. Fortunately I didn't ruin the moment and she kissed me anyway, and when she did I knew something special would become of this. I hadn't even had a girlfriend before. It was that same day I had thought I had got my revenge on Terrance too...that's right... thought... Carrington liked us working together because of the success we had, she was almost if not just as good as him when it came to briefing. Although the thing I liked about Natasha a lot was her humour... very similar to mine... it annoyed people...

Flashback count: 5

"That's what one would call using your head..." Natasha laughed as I had just sent Terrance to his supposed death with a headbutt sending him tumbling through 4 floors of glass.

"That's what I'd call a bad pun" I replied. It was such a bad joke, especially for her

"I can leave you here if you like" Natasha said "but you are right... I knew a bad joke would get your attention" Natasha laughed.

End flashback (again).

I pulled up to my house, still the same old small place I lived in 8 years ago... I just wished I hadn't taken so long to make a commitment... but we still had some fun times.

Flashback count: 6

I went down the mountain; it was deserted as it was a working day. Natasha was beside me... I liked her a lot, she seemed really uptight at first but then I found the way to make her laugh. Seeing her the way she was today on the snow was such a change to how I was used to seeing her using her newly invented devices on agents who failed to return the older ones. However I suddenly felt a push from behind and found myself face first in the snow... recovering I looked up and saw Natasha standing over me.

"What was that for?" I asked

"Because I felt like it" Natasha replied

"Well I guess I feel like this too" I was holding her leg and then suddenly caused her to trip and she landed in the snow next to me.

"Ouch..." Natasha said but it was obvious what I did didn't really hurt her.

There was great sunset as well... we both looked into other's eyes and then admired the view for a little longer, it was unfortunate we couldn't stay, as we both had to work tomorrow.

Flashback count: 7

We were watching the sunrise. At centerpoint tower while looking at the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the view was great... Natasha liked these tourist like things, I was sort of into it but it didn't matter whether I was or not... I was with Natasha... I decided to ask her to marry me tonight... keeping in mind of Foster's advice of that she would move on if I was too slow... I didn't want to lose her, but I didn't want to hurt her either... perhaps I had a bit of fear of rejection too... but I had to put all that aside.

"Isn't it great?" Natasha said
"Yeah" I went to kiss her, I don't know how much time passed while I was holding her, until I saw somebody looking at us in which I tapped on her on the shoulder and she turned around. The guy who couldn't have been older then 20 just looked the other way, Natasha just giggled and I had this silly smile on my face... I didn't know what else to say or do, although I didn't care and it seemed she didn't either.

End flashback

Walking into my bedroom I got changed and went in the lounge room. I now know that guy was Sean... he said that's how he recognised me so easily later on... The only thing I didn't regret about that mission in Australia was that at least I did get to propose...

I was so nervous... I had bought the ring and everything, I even had to get Natasha to go elsewhere when I did it.

"Natasha, I've got something I'd like to ask you. I know we haven't been going out that long, but we've been good friends for months. Should something happen to me tomorrow I would fell awful if I didn't ask you this" The nerves were jumping like crazy, I couldn't think straight, I was worried she would say no, I was worried I would hurt her...I pulled out a box and with the ring and opened it.

"Will you marry me?" I asked her... the question that was causing me to get so nervous, I don't ever remember being so nervous...fortunately she answered quickly.

"What kind of question is that! Of course I will!" Natasha replied, I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, I thought she might of heard it. "Took your sweet time" Natasha joked as she accepted the ring and put in on her finger. I smiled finally... it was done... and she said yes, no pain for anybody..

"Well... I thought you'd say no even now..." I said, it was a stupid thing to say... why'd I say that "It seemed too fast, but you never know what's going to happen" I tried to recover myself... I was concerned, as I had a funny feeling something was going to go wrong tomorrow.

"Jonathan, don't talk that way, everything will be fine" Natasha said.

End flashback...

Well everything wasn't fine... she was worried too even then. It was the worst day of my life... still is...

Flashback count: 8.

I had seen multiple guards come, Natasha used the weapons to throw them off driving through the road blocks the security people had placed. Taking careful aim I shot a guy in a white coat with a one of those Skedar guns right in the head.

However then I noticed another car began to chase after us. Natasha drove away from where all the guards were.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"We can't fight them with this guy behind, I've got a few tricks" Natasha pressed a button and some spikes came out the back of the car however the other car just floated over them somehow.

"Ah crap" Natasha said "Now I mean business" Natasha went for another button and this time multiple grenades came out the back but they were shot out of the air by the other cars machine guns.

"damn he's good" Natasha said a little frustrated "Now for the last resort" Natasha pressed a red button in the center that released a slow tracking homing missile. However looking in the mirrors I had seen that the car from behind had fired one as well. It was closing in.

"Natasha it's going to hit! Let's get out!" I shouted ready to open the door

"Damn ejector seat isn't working" Natasha was trying to fiddle with the trigger

"He's probably jammed it, let's get out" I said to her as she slammed on the brakes and I jumped out the car and I notice that the person in the other car had done the same as I ran away from the car and then ran around the corner and heard the two explosions and saw the flaming wreck fly past. I then noticed somebody was missing...

"Natasha?" I called out

No reply.

"NATASHA!!" I shouted out. Still nothing.

I went out into the street and tried to see if I could her, still being catious of the other man but I was far more concerned about Natasha, and then I saw her... lying on the ground... eyes closed. I dropped to her on my knee and checked her pulse nothing.

"Natasha..." I said quietly... I was still trying to scan the area for the other man but I couldn't see him "No..." I said hoping she would awaken... then I suddenly felt my weapon be kicked from my hands.

"Ah you have a girlfriend that's cute. Or should I say had" The laugh that followed that sentence was too familiar... I saw his DY357... it was Terrance.... Alive... again...

End Flashback

I felt really sad... it wasn't good for me to think on that moment for too long, despite the face I showed at the institute everybody knew it had a big effect on me. Although the day was the worst in my life, I did avenge her the same day...

Flashback count: 9

"Come on don't take too long to die..." Terrance taunted with a large amount of overconfidence

The shield Sean had given me just absorbed Terrance's magnum shot. I fired at him but he rolled underneath the shot and I knew he would fire when he got up. So angry about what he had done to Natasha... and angry at myself for not checking he was dead I ran up to him and then kicked his weapon out of his hand... his old trick... what he was known for at the Institute... His Magnum flew out the window.

"Get on the ground NOW!" I ordered rage filling within me... I wanted to shoot him but I wanted him to wonder when I would press that trigger.

"You can kill me but our plan will succeed" Terrance said. I rolled my eyes, Terrance was full of shit and never good at lying.

"If trash talking was a sport you'd win a gold medal" I replied as I hit the other side of Terrance's metallic face. He looked like a freak, which I thought was appropriate for him anyway. I picked him up and placed him outside the window holding onto him with one arm.

"This time I will actually make sure you are dead" I said as I fired my magnum at point blank range at his head while letting go of him sending him to his death. I knew I'd have to check on him but that wasn't going to be a problem.

End Flashback

I decided I had enough of my thoughts and to move onto to the tradition I have done once a year every year since that day... I don't know why I do it, but it helps me remember what's worth fighting for in this world... I know no matter how many times I do this it will not bring her back, but it does allow me to get in touch with her in my own mind. However I had one last happier thought... I wasn't generally a person who enjoyed seeing somebody die like a lunatic, but this was different...

A/N: Yes... How could I not put the fan favourite death scene in this... Enjoy...

Flashback count: 10 (this is the last one, nice round figure)

"You alright?" Sean asked. He was bleeding from his forehead... he had a fair few scratch marks on him as well, seemed like an encounter with a few Skedar.
"I hope so... I've just got one thing to do" I went looking for Terrance's body... I didn't want him to be revived again, nor did I want the people of Sydney suddenly coming across a dead body. It didn't take me long to find him.
"Nice job" Sean said.

I pulled out a grenade and put into Terrance's mouth, before pulling out the pin. Sean and I walked a good distance away, the grenade exploded and I watched the flames, we both left after they died down. Sean went back to report and I went back for Natasha... I looked at her for a long time... I then knelt down to her and touched her on the cheek and kissed her...

"I'll miss you... so much" I said

End flashback

I made it seem to everybody else that I wasn't a ticking time bomb. I tried not to make it seem that one word about that girl would send me into a downward spiral and all of that crap. I didn't like being like that so I made it seem business as usual. Of course everybody still gave me sympathy and stuff because it was obvious I was going to marry her. ... I knew that even now I had never completely healed from Natasha's dying, there was a big gap in my life since she died. Although most of the people who work at the Institute now don't even know of Natasha. Carrington, Sean, Foster and Grimshaw are the only ones who knew her.

I stood up from where I was sitting and got a piece of paper and a pen, and started writing...