REVIEWS!!!! Yay!!!
Twinlady: Ooooooh... that would be telling... *wink* well, glad you like the title... I'm not sure yet if I do... anyway, it's certainly random enough... Ya, I think I've read your poem... I seem to remember liking it, but it was a while ago... I'll look it up soon, but right now I'm SWAMPED 'cause I was sick.
Kit: *bows* Thank yew, thank yew!! Of course it's what you say! It's what everyone says! ... unless they happen to be French, in which case they say "Minouminouminou!!!" Hmmm... gives me ideas... Anyway... and if you're German you say, uh... *should know this* I dunno... "Kätzchenkätzchenkätzchen"? Ah well...
Megami: Oh, but you WILL see him in a pet store... hee hee hee, wait till you see what happens!!!! Glad ya liked the Vlad bit... I've become sorta obsessed with him and Cain.. But I can't find any pictures!!!! *sobs* Please, if anyone has any... *sniff* Ya, cats don't tend to like being called Fluffy... dunno why... 'specially not if you're chasing them at the same time... I should tell you guys that story sometime... Or you could just email me...
Alocin: you weren't just 'slight inspiration'! I loved that fic! I keep trying to get my friends to read it! It's sooooooo funny!!!! Glad you like mine, though.
The drive from the Merovingian's (Oh god please let me NEVER miss-spell it like that again... *shudder* If you REALLY wanna know, email me at matrix_twin1@hotmail.com) through the downtown of The City to the more rural area took about twenty minutes. After about three arguments, two false turns, one dead and, and thirty MORE minutes, they came to: ***PETLAND***... YAY!!!!
(I love that store... sorta.... that's where I got my Wuzzy-pig! *is very distracted. Cannot live another minute without getting Wuzzy* *gets Wuzzy* Look Wuzzy! Story time! Do you have anything to say? *closes door so Mother won't see* *puts Wuzzy on key board, hoping she won't pee...*
[r5 ttttttttttrrbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrr] There. You have all been blessed. Now we can continue with the story. With Wuzzy. It's just fun to type Wuzzy. WUZZY!!!! Wuzzy Wuzzy Wuzzy... Awwww... that's so much cuter than her REAL name... Which is Noisette. Wuzzy*
Aidenn hated the place from the moment he saw it. From the disturbing logo, a Tarzan-wanna-be with a vine in one hand and an animal in the other, to the sheer size of it, to... the children. He shrank back in his seat. "Uh... maybe we'll just let the cat go..."
Antoine looked up. "Huh? What's wrong n-oh." She noticed the hordes of shrieking small children. Aidenn HATED children. "Ummm... We're sure they won't bother us. Besides, this shouldn't take long. C'mon." Famous last words.
Aidenn sloooowly got out, making sure that no children were getting too close. Once he had finally left the Escalade, he attempted to hide behind Antoine. Which didn't work too well. Considering he was over 6' and she was 5'7"... In this fashion, they made their way to the sliding automatic glass doors of the monstrosity.
(think Wuzzy wants to go home now... aaaaawwww!!!! She's so cuuuuuuute!!!!!! ...and I'm so covered in fur...)
The first thing Aidenn noted (besides the eerily cheerful faces of the check-out people) was a big display of saddles and other horsey equipment. This reminded him. "Oh, Antoine? Can we ride?"
She wasn't paying attention, looking for the Cat section. "Huh? Ride? Ride a bike? Yeah..."
"No. Not a bike. A horse!"
"Uh... no. They scare us..."
"Oh, that's too bad..."
She realized he was hiding something. "Why?"
"Oh, no real reason. Just that Adrian signed us up for riding lessons tomorrow."
"Great. When we get home, remind us to slaughter us."
"M'okay!"
They continued on, past the Bird and Rodent aisles, the plastic cages of birds and rodents, and the cats and dogs for adoption. They didn't see the 'Missing' posters. They wandered through the store for a while, until they finally found an aisle packed with everything a cat could possibly need. In all nine lives. They just stood at the entrance for a few minutes, mouths open in awe. Then the fun began. Oh yeah. Life was good. Being an Assassin Program with nearly unlimited funds had its definite perks.
Fortunately, they had each grabbed a cart upon their arrival, and they began piling stuff in, occasionally yelling tips, yes's and no's to the other. They finally decided on: several varieties of dry and canned food; a tube of hairball cream; a food and water dish; a jumbo scratching post; a feather stuffed luxury bed; many, many toys of all shapes and sizes; nail clippers; two kinds of litter boxes (one with a lid, one without, depending on the cat's preference); two kinds of litter freshener; four kinds of litter; three kinds of treats; a harness and leash; a carrying case; some flea powder; and a collar.
Eventually, they realized the one thing the store didn't have. Cat combs. Antoine suggested just "Buy. A. Bloody. DOG COMB!!!!" But Aidenn insisted that they go to another store to find one. They were just pushing their laden carts towards the checkout, when the unthinkable happened. There, framed in the blinding glare of the warehouse style neon ceiling lights stood... a little girl.
Aidenn screamed and jumped behind his cart, but The Thing just giggled and ran forward, arms outstretched. Antoine knew what would happen if he managed to regain enough sense to put a hand in his pocket. She dove forward, snatched his knife out of the pocket, and shoved it into hers. Aidenn was frozen, watching the Creature. It was like The Scene in Westerns. You know the one.
Finally, the Creature broke the spell. "DADDY!!!!" It shrieked.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!" A wild, panicked yell escaped Aidenn's lips. "We. Are. Not. Your. FATHER!!!!!!" He was so shaken that he forgot their Public Rule: Avoid pronouns, or mumble. A 5'7" girl with dreads and a trench chaperoned by one or more 6'5" men dressed the same was weird enough.
The Thing's mouth fell open, revealing a vast cavern of pink and red. It emitted a horrible wailing noise, like a siren that you know is there for YOU. Its eyes widened, and huge, fat tears began to leak down its chubby face, spilling down its front. Aidenn knelt behind the shopping cart, making himself as small as possible (and here I am going to credit Eyana for her brilliant work in "The Magic Kingdom" and Two's Mantra. I decided to come up with one for One) and repeated his Mantra. "We are a cute and sexy assassin. This looks very bad. Where is our brother?" This really had no calming effect, but it did help. He could redirect his anger elsewhere, to something totally outside the situation.
Antoine seized control of the situation. *ding* 'Stay here. Do.not.move.'
'Don't leeeeeeeeeeave us!!!!!'
'Shut up. This is sooooooo our fault...' She walked up to the bawling child, scooped it up, and held it until it stopped screaming. Just as Aidenn had recovered enough to stand, a woman emerged from the aisle behind them. She watched Antoine, without noticing the newcomer, place the child back on the ground. She marched up to Aidenn, slapped him 'round the face, and yelled "PERVERT!!!!" She then snatched up the child and strode off.
Aidenn's face, where it wasn't covered by a protective hand, showed his utter bemusement. "What.the.hell. We weren't doing anything! We were the one holding The Thing!!!!!"
Antoine was laughing so hard, she hadn't heard him at all.
When they finally arrived at the checkout counter, the cashier just took a moment to stare at the mountain of cat supplies contained within the two carts. Without pausing, she started ringing things through. When she was done, she announced, without missing a beat, "That comes to $2,549.99."
Aidenn, without even noting the amount (Hell, his coat cost more than that... this was small money) handed over his card. Antoine looked mildly stunned.
The next problem that arose was, of course, one of transportation. Having crammed the many, many bags back into the two carts, they both stood and stared at the Escalade. Antoine, after several minutes said "We think we'll need a bigger boa-uh, truck."
Aidenn glared at the offending purchases, before announcing, "No! We can make it fit!" and started cramming things into all available spaces. It did all fit. If you count Antoine sitting on all the food fitting. They drove around some more, until they eventually came to another, smaller pet store (modeled after the one where I got Goddess and Amazon. *sniff* I miss them so much...)
A friendly clerk (who actually told me all about his sisters when I called... I wanted to know if he had any sister GUINEA-PIGS... damn, but if that wasn't embarrassing for both of us, I don't know what is... not to mention what my piggies-to-be were having DONE to them by their cagemates upon our arrival...) looked up at their arrival. "Can I help you?"
Antoine thought it best if she answer. She signaled this by kicking Aidenn in the shin. While he was hopping around, she explained. "Yes, we're looking for a cat comb."
"Pretty sure we have a couple. C'mon back."
After she left, Aidenn surveyed his surroundings. One thing about Aidenn-he couldn't stand seeing things in cages. It reminded him too much of his own claustrophobia. So, the sight of all the poor, cute, fluffy rabbits, guinea-pigs and chinchillas was too much for him. He had to do something. He crept up to the first cage, which held rabbits, and flung it open, yelling "BE FREE!!!! BE FREEEE!!!!" The startled rabbits leapt out of the cage, and scattered throughout the store.
At that exact moment, who should enter the store but... Neo and Trinity. Trinity had come in just in time to spot the tail of a white rabbit hopping away behind a shelf. Turning to Neo, she commanded "FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT!" So he did.
The clerk, alerted by all the commotion, was scared up from the back of the store, a comb-clutching Antoine in tow. He surveyed the damage, bellowed for everyone to chase the wayward bunnies, and scooted off after a black one that had just crossed his line of site. After all the rabbits were returned to the cage (except the white one, which was actually what Neo and Trin had come to buy. After this they left quickly), the clerk turned on the hapless Twin and bellowed, "NOW GET OUT!!!!"
Antoine threw some money on the counter, and they left the store with the comb.
Twinlady: Ooooooh... that would be telling... *wink* well, glad you like the title... I'm not sure yet if I do... anyway, it's certainly random enough... Ya, I think I've read your poem... I seem to remember liking it, but it was a while ago... I'll look it up soon, but right now I'm SWAMPED 'cause I was sick.
Kit: *bows* Thank yew, thank yew!! Of course it's what you say! It's what everyone says! ... unless they happen to be French, in which case they say "Minouminouminou!!!" Hmmm... gives me ideas... Anyway... and if you're German you say, uh... *should know this* I dunno... "Kätzchenkätzchenkätzchen"? Ah well...
Megami: Oh, but you WILL see him in a pet store... hee hee hee, wait till you see what happens!!!! Glad ya liked the Vlad bit... I've become sorta obsessed with him and Cain.. But I can't find any pictures!!!! *sobs* Please, if anyone has any... *sniff* Ya, cats don't tend to like being called Fluffy... dunno why... 'specially not if you're chasing them at the same time... I should tell you guys that story sometime... Or you could just email me...
Alocin: you weren't just 'slight inspiration'! I loved that fic! I keep trying to get my friends to read it! It's sooooooo funny!!!! Glad you like mine, though.
The drive from the Merovingian's (Oh god please let me NEVER miss-spell it like that again... *shudder* If you REALLY wanna know, email me at matrix_twin1@hotmail.com) through the downtown of The City to the more rural area took about twenty minutes. After about three arguments, two false turns, one dead and, and thirty MORE minutes, they came to: ***PETLAND***... YAY!!!!
(I love that store... sorta.... that's where I got my Wuzzy-pig! *is very distracted. Cannot live another minute without getting Wuzzy* *gets Wuzzy* Look Wuzzy! Story time! Do you have anything to say? *closes door so Mother won't see* *puts Wuzzy on key board, hoping she won't pee...*
[r5 ttttttttttrrbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrr] There. You have all been blessed. Now we can continue with the story. With Wuzzy. It's just fun to type Wuzzy. WUZZY!!!! Wuzzy Wuzzy Wuzzy... Awwww... that's so much cuter than her REAL name... Which is Noisette. Wuzzy*
Aidenn hated the place from the moment he saw it. From the disturbing logo, a Tarzan-wanna-be with a vine in one hand and an animal in the other, to the sheer size of it, to... the children. He shrank back in his seat. "Uh... maybe we'll just let the cat go..."
Antoine looked up. "Huh? What's wrong n-oh." She noticed the hordes of shrieking small children. Aidenn HATED children. "Ummm... We're sure they won't bother us. Besides, this shouldn't take long. C'mon." Famous last words.
Aidenn sloooowly got out, making sure that no children were getting too close. Once he had finally left the Escalade, he attempted to hide behind Antoine. Which didn't work too well. Considering he was over 6' and she was 5'7"... In this fashion, they made their way to the sliding automatic glass doors of the monstrosity.
(think Wuzzy wants to go home now... aaaaawwww!!!! She's so cuuuuuuute!!!!!! ...and I'm so covered in fur...)
The first thing Aidenn noted (besides the eerily cheerful faces of the check-out people) was a big display of saddles and other horsey equipment. This reminded him. "Oh, Antoine? Can we ride?"
She wasn't paying attention, looking for the Cat section. "Huh? Ride? Ride a bike? Yeah..."
"No. Not a bike. A horse!"
"Uh... no. They scare us..."
"Oh, that's too bad..."
She realized he was hiding something. "Why?"
"Oh, no real reason. Just that Adrian signed us up for riding lessons tomorrow."
"Great. When we get home, remind us to slaughter us."
"M'okay!"
They continued on, past the Bird and Rodent aisles, the plastic cages of birds and rodents, and the cats and dogs for adoption. They didn't see the 'Missing' posters. They wandered through the store for a while, until they finally found an aisle packed with everything a cat could possibly need. In all nine lives. They just stood at the entrance for a few minutes, mouths open in awe. Then the fun began. Oh yeah. Life was good. Being an Assassin Program with nearly unlimited funds had its definite perks.
Fortunately, they had each grabbed a cart upon their arrival, and they began piling stuff in, occasionally yelling tips, yes's and no's to the other. They finally decided on: several varieties of dry and canned food; a tube of hairball cream; a food and water dish; a jumbo scratching post; a feather stuffed luxury bed; many, many toys of all shapes and sizes; nail clippers; two kinds of litter boxes (one with a lid, one without, depending on the cat's preference); two kinds of litter freshener; four kinds of litter; three kinds of treats; a harness and leash; a carrying case; some flea powder; and a collar.
Eventually, they realized the one thing the store didn't have. Cat combs. Antoine suggested just "Buy. A. Bloody. DOG COMB!!!!" But Aidenn insisted that they go to another store to find one. They were just pushing their laden carts towards the checkout, when the unthinkable happened. There, framed in the blinding glare of the warehouse style neon ceiling lights stood... a little girl.
Aidenn screamed and jumped behind his cart, but The Thing just giggled and ran forward, arms outstretched. Antoine knew what would happen if he managed to regain enough sense to put a hand in his pocket. She dove forward, snatched his knife out of the pocket, and shoved it into hers. Aidenn was frozen, watching the Creature. It was like The Scene in Westerns. You know the one.
Finally, the Creature broke the spell. "DADDY!!!!" It shrieked.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!" A wild, panicked yell escaped Aidenn's lips. "We. Are. Not. Your. FATHER!!!!!!" He was so shaken that he forgot their Public Rule: Avoid pronouns, or mumble. A 5'7" girl with dreads and a trench chaperoned by one or more 6'5" men dressed the same was weird enough.
The Thing's mouth fell open, revealing a vast cavern of pink and red. It emitted a horrible wailing noise, like a siren that you know is there for YOU. Its eyes widened, and huge, fat tears began to leak down its chubby face, spilling down its front. Aidenn knelt behind the shopping cart, making himself as small as possible (and here I am going to credit Eyana for her brilliant work in "The Magic Kingdom" and Two's Mantra. I decided to come up with one for One) and repeated his Mantra. "We are a cute and sexy assassin. This looks very bad. Where is our brother?" This really had no calming effect, but it did help. He could redirect his anger elsewhere, to something totally outside the situation.
Antoine seized control of the situation. *ding* 'Stay here. Do.not.move.'
'Don't leeeeeeeeeeave us!!!!!'
'Shut up. This is sooooooo our fault...' She walked up to the bawling child, scooped it up, and held it until it stopped screaming. Just as Aidenn had recovered enough to stand, a woman emerged from the aisle behind them. She watched Antoine, without noticing the newcomer, place the child back on the ground. She marched up to Aidenn, slapped him 'round the face, and yelled "PERVERT!!!!" She then snatched up the child and strode off.
Aidenn's face, where it wasn't covered by a protective hand, showed his utter bemusement. "What.the.hell. We weren't doing anything! We were the one holding The Thing!!!!!"
Antoine was laughing so hard, she hadn't heard him at all.
When they finally arrived at the checkout counter, the cashier just took a moment to stare at the mountain of cat supplies contained within the two carts. Without pausing, she started ringing things through. When she was done, she announced, without missing a beat, "That comes to $2,549.99."
Aidenn, without even noting the amount (Hell, his coat cost more than that... this was small money) handed over his card. Antoine looked mildly stunned.
The next problem that arose was, of course, one of transportation. Having crammed the many, many bags back into the two carts, they both stood and stared at the Escalade. Antoine, after several minutes said "We think we'll need a bigger boa-uh, truck."
Aidenn glared at the offending purchases, before announcing, "No! We can make it fit!" and started cramming things into all available spaces. It did all fit. If you count Antoine sitting on all the food fitting. They drove around some more, until they eventually came to another, smaller pet store (modeled after the one where I got Goddess and Amazon. *sniff* I miss them so much...)
A friendly clerk (who actually told me all about his sisters when I called... I wanted to know if he had any sister GUINEA-PIGS... damn, but if that wasn't embarrassing for both of us, I don't know what is... not to mention what my piggies-to-be were having DONE to them by their cagemates upon our arrival...) looked up at their arrival. "Can I help you?"
Antoine thought it best if she answer. She signaled this by kicking Aidenn in the shin. While he was hopping around, she explained. "Yes, we're looking for a cat comb."
"Pretty sure we have a couple. C'mon back."
After she left, Aidenn surveyed his surroundings. One thing about Aidenn-he couldn't stand seeing things in cages. It reminded him too much of his own claustrophobia. So, the sight of all the poor, cute, fluffy rabbits, guinea-pigs and chinchillas was too much for him. He had to do something. He crept up to the first cage, which held rabbits, and flung it open, yelling "BE FREE!!!! BE FREEEE!!!!" The startled rabbits leapt out of the cage, and scattered throughout the store.
At that exact moment, who should enter the store but... Neo and Trinity. Trinity had come in just in time to spot the tail of a white rabbit hopping away behind a shelf. Turning to Neo, she commanded "FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT!" So he did.
The clerk, alerted by all the commotion, was scared up from the back of the store, a comb-clutching Antoine in tow. He surveyed the damage, bellowed for everyone to chase the wayward bunnies, and scooted off after a black one that had just crossed his line of site. After all the rabbits were returned to the cage (except the white one, which was actually what Neo and Trin had come to buy. After this they left quickly), the clerk turned on the hapless Twin and bellowed, "NOW GET OUT!!!!"
Antoine threw some money on the counter, and they left the store with the comb.