Hi! :-) Thanks for your kind reviews!! I know these chapters have been on the short side. Hopefully, they'll get longer if I can think of more to write. (grin) Hope you enjoy this chapter!
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Chapter 10
"Do you want to start," Jack offered, "or should I?"
"You," Janet said, knowing their talk was long overdue but not sure exactly what she wanted to say.
"First of all," Jack began, looking at her in earnest, "you have to know that nothing was going on between me and Chantal. Yes, Larry had planned a party for me..."
"A party I wasn't invited to," Janet felt compelled to point out.
Jack nodded. "Right. A party you weren't invited to. But I didn't know that, nor did I know that he had chosen Chantal to be my 'date'. I was just as shocked as you were when she showed up at our door and started all that talk about me being her lover. That was all her, Janet. I swear I knew nothing about it. I didn't even know about the party at that point. And I certainly didn't know you hadn't been included. I know I explained all of this to you when it happened, but I never got the feeling you believed me."
"I didn't, at first," Janet admitted, looking intently at Jack. "I was so furious with you. And then I was incredibly hurt. I had seen the ring, and even though it scared me, it also endeared me to you that much more. That you would buy me a ring just amazed me. When you so callously told me it was all a joke and that the ring was one of Larry's fakes, I felt as though I had been suckered-punch. I knew the ring was real, but I didn't care at that point. I felt like the biggest fool. I was humiliated, and I wanted to hurt you the same way you had hurt me."
"So that's why you told me you and Todd had gotten back together?"
Janet nodded.
"I said the ring was a joke because I was stupidly covering for my wounded pride. I was hurt by the accusations you had hurled at me. I was completely innocent where Chantal was concerned. She and Larry even backed me up."
"Eventually," Janet was quick to clarify.
"But don't you see, Janet? To you, it didn't matter. You were so ready to believe the worst in me. That's what really bothered me."
"I know," she said, her voice quiet. "Jack, if you knew the doubts that hounded me the whole time we were together, you probably would've fled a lot sooner than you did."
"No, Janet, I wouldn't have."
He offered his outstretched hands to her as an invitation; she let him hold and caress her hands while he searched her questioning dark eyes with his own lighter ones.
"Let me explain. I've had eight years to think about this, and I've realized that I had to have been doing something wrong to make you so wary of me and where you stood in our relationship. I'm sorry if I made you feel that you couldn't trust me or that I wasn't satisfied with you and was looking at other women."
"It was both of us, Jack," Janet conceded, with a heartfelt sigh. "I didn't trust enough, and you, maybe without even realizing it, tested to the max what little trust I did have. I've had eight years to think about this, too, and I think we were both scared. I couldn't be the Janet you joked with about the women in your life because I was the woman in your life. You couldn't be the Jack I'd always turned to for help with my relationship problems because you were the man I was having the problems with. We lost a vital connection when the status of our relationship changed, and I think we both realized it. Unfortunately, by then, it was too late. In the end, even though we were both devastated, hurt and angry, I believe things worked out the way they should have."
Jack shook his head. He spoke his next words almost reverently. "I left for Europe without saying good-bye to you. That never felt right to me. When Terri told me you had reconciled with Todd, I didn't know what to think. But Terri told me you were happy again. So, I accepted that. What else could I have done? But it doesn't mean I was happy."
"There was nothing you could have done," Janet confirmed. "You did the right thing. I wouldn't have been able to talk clearly with you the way we're doing now, and I wouldn't have listened to anything you might have had to say. I know that. The truly tragic part is I was fooling myself with Todd, and he paid the ultimate price. He loved his little girl so much. The finest way I can honor his memory is to be the best mother I know how to be."
Reluctantly, she removed her hands from Jack's hold and stood up. With Jack watching the lovely petite woman's every move, she walked to the fireplace mantel and picked up the framed photograph of her late husband holding their newborn daughter in his arms. The smile on his face spoke volumes. She stared at the picture for a long time, lost in the memories of another lifetime. The fire crackling in the hearth was the only sound in the room.
When she returned the frame to its place, Jack saw her shoulders shaking and knew she was crying. Concern propelled him towards her. After tenderly kissing the top of her hair to reassure Janet he was there for her, he placed gentle hands on her quivering shoulders. His light massage helped to ease her tense muscles.
"Sometimes," she admitted, her voice almost a whisper, "I feel so unworthy of Taylor. I feel as though I don't deserve to be a mother."
"Hey," Jack said, turning Janet to face him. "Don't you ever say that. You are a great mom. I saw that first-hand tonight. You love Taylor, and she loves you. Immensely. You can doubt a lot of things, but I will never allow you to doubt that you deserve to be a mom. Never."
Through her tears, Janet cracked a small smile.
"Thank you, Jack. That means a lot to me."
Before either of them could react, Jack folded Janet into his arms and held her close to him. Janet didn't resist. It felt wonderful to be in his arms again. As she let herself relax against him, she couldn't help but wonder what the future held for them this time around. It had taken her a while, but now she knew she liked and was comfortable with the idea that Jack was back in her life, as a friend, but she also realized she was enjoying being in his arms much more than she had a right to. What did it all mean? And where would they go from here?
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Chapter 10
"Do you want to start," Jack offered, "or should I?"
"You," Janet said, knowing their talk was long overdue but not sure exactly what she wanted to say.
"First of all," Jack began, looking at her in earnest, "you have to know that nothing was going on between me and Chantal. Yes, Larry had planned a party for me..."
"A party I wasn't invited to," Janet felt compelled to point out.
Jack nodded. "Right. A party you weren't invited to. But I didn't know that, nor did I know that he had chosen Chantal to be my 'date'. I was just as shocked as you were when she showed up at our door and started all that talk about me being her lover. That was all her, Janet. I swear I knew nothing about it. I didn't even know about the party at that point. And I certainly didn't know you hadn't been included. I know I explained all of this to you when it happened, but I never got the feeling you believed me."
"I didn't, at first," Janet admitted, looking intently at Jack. "I was so furious with you. And then I was incredibly hurt. I had seen the ring, and even though it scared me, it also endeared me to you that much more. That you would buy me a ring just amazed me. When you so callously told me it was all a joke and that the ring was one of Larry's fakes, I felt as though I had been suckered-punch. I knew the ring was real, but I didn't care at that point. I felt like the biggest fool. I was humiliated, and I wanted to hurt you the same way you had hurt me."
"So that's why you told me you and Todd had gotten back together?"
Janet nodded.
"I said the ring was a joke because I was stupidly covering for my wounded pride. I was hurt by the accusations you had hurled at me. I was completely innocent where Chantal was concerned. She and Larry even backed me up."
"Eventually," Janet was quick to clarify.
"But don't you see, Janet? To you, it didn't matter. You were so ready to believe the worst in me. That's what really bothered me."
"I know," she said, her voice quiet. "Jack, if you knew the doubts that hounded me the whole time we were together, you probably would've fled a lot sooner than you did."
"No, Janet, I wouldn't have."
He offered his outstretched hands to her as an invitation; she let him hold and caress her hands while he searched her questioning dark eyes with his own lighter ones.
"Let me explain. I've had eight years to think about this, and I've realized that I had to have been doing something wrong to make you so wary of me and where you stood in our relationship. I'm sorry if I made you feel that you couldn't trust me or that I wasn't satisfied with you and was looking at other women."
"It was both of us, Jack," Janet conceded, with a heartfelt sigh. "I didn't trust enough, and you, maybe without even realizing it, tested to the max what little trust I did have. I've had eight years to think about this, too, and I think we were both scared. I couldn't be the Janet you joked with about the women in your life because I was the woman in your life. You couldn't be the Jack I'd always turned to for help with my relationship problems because you were the man I was having the problems with. We lost a vital connection when the status of our relationship changed, and I think we both realized it. Unfortunately, by then, it was too late. In the end, even though we were both devastated, hurt and angry, I believe things worked out the way they should have."
Jack shook his head. He spoke his next words almost reverently. "I left for Europe without saying good-bye to you. That never felt right to me. When Terri told me you had reconciled with Todd, I didn't know what to think. But Terri told me you were happy again. So, I accepted that. What else could I have done? But it doesn't mean I was happy."
"There was nothing you could have done," Janet confirmed. "You did the right thing. I wouldn't have been able to talk clearly with you the way we're doing now, and I wouldn't have listened to anything you might have had to say. I know that. The truly tragic part is I was fooling myself with Todd, and he paid the ultimate price. He loved his little girl so much. The finest way I can honor his memory is to be the best mother I know how to be."
Reluctantly, she removed her hands from Jack's hold and stood up. With Jack watching the lovely petite woman's every move, she walked to the fireplace mantel and picked up the framed photograph of her late husband holding their newborn daughter in his arms. The smile on his face spoke volumes. She stared at the picture for a long time, lost in the memories of another lifetime. The fire crackling in the hearth was the only sound in the room.
When she returned the frame to its place, Jack saw her shoulders shaking and knew she was crying. Concern propelled him towards her. After tenderly kissing the top of her hair to reassure Janet he was there for her, he placed gentle hands on her quivering shoulders. His light massage helped to ease her tense muscles.
"Sometimes," she admitted, her voice almost a whisper, "I feel so unworthy of Taylor. I feel as though I don't deserve to be a mother."
"Hey," Jack said, turning Janet to face him. "Don't you ever say that. You are a great mom. I saw that first-hand tonight. You love Taylor, and she loves you. Immensely. You can doubt a lot of things, but I will never allow you to doubt that you deserve to be a mom. Never."
Through her tears, Janet cracked a small smile.
"Thank you, Jack. That means a lot to me."
Before either of them could react, Jack folded Janet into his arms and held her close to him. Janet didn't resist. It felt wonderful to be in his arms again. As she let herself relax against him, she couldn't help but wonder what the future held for them this time around. It had taken her a while, but now she knew she liked and was comfortable with the idea that Jack was back in her life, as a friend, but she also realized she was enjoying being in his arms much more than she had a right to. What did it all mean? And where would they go from here?