Chapter 2

The next morning Morph woke me up at the crack of dawn, and I dragged myself grumpilly to the deck. If I was not already tired and grouchy enough, we were scraping the etherial barnacles off of the boat. EVERY. STINKING. ONE. I tried my hardest, I really did, but those things seemed absolutely stuck for good.

"Put some elbow into it!!" Silver demanded bossilly.

I scowled.

"Here." Jim reacehd over and pryed it off easilly.

My face turned red. "I coulda done it."

"Hm. Sure." he went back to scraping barnacles off. DANGIT! STUPID BOYS!

Another tedious job was peeling potatoes... in the galley, without Silver, which meant we would totally goof off andf get into trouble. I sat and observed Jim, was leaning back in his chair, doing his work slowly, more interested in the process of the peeling than actually getting the potatoes peeled. He suddenly looked up from his potatoe, deep in thought.

"Hey.... Do you like music?"

"Yeah." I nodded cautiously, because I didn't know where this was going.

"...Can I teach you a song?"

"Sure." I put down my potatoe, staring intently at him,

"I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard. . . Or a moment that's held in your arms... And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen, anyway. . . You don't know me, and I'll never be what you want me to be... And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man... You can't take me, and throw me away... And how can you learn what's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own...They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here... And I want a moment to be real, Wanna touch things I don't feel... Wanna hold on, and feel

I belong... And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same. . . They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here... And you see the things they never see, All you wanted, I could be... Now you know me, And I'm not afraid... And I wanna tell you who I am, Can you help me be a man? They can't break me, as long as I know who I am. They can't tell me who to be, 'Cause I'm not what they see... Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreamin' for me... And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe... And I want a moment to be real, Wanna touch things I don't feel... Wanna hold on, and feel I belong... And how can they say I never change? They're the ones that stay the same... I'm the one now, 'cause I'm still here. I'm the one, 'cause I'm still here, I'm still here, I'm still here..."

I stared up at him in wonder. "....Who are you singing about?"

He shrugged. "Depends on what you mean. I'm singing about myself. About my dad,in some parts. Some parts Silver. And, well... some parts..."

"Some parts?" I prompted.

"Ah, nothing." he went back to pealing potatoes, and no matter how much i pestered him he wouldn't tell me.

Curses!

I had not been listening to Silver as he ranted on how to tie knots. I felt Jim nudge me gently and I looked up. He motioned to his knot, which, in my opinion, was tied better than Silver's. But then he made a hand gesture that meant 'follow me'. I almost didn't do it. Almost. But I smiled slightly and went down the rope after Jim.

"So..." he muttered. "Is this what it's always like on the Legacy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everything. Is this the everyday life of the Legacy?"

"Yeah."

"Someday, then.... maybe I'll work on one of these."

"Jim... It's a lonely life, that of a spacer. Sometimes it's too lonely to handle."

I looked sadly up at the stars twinkling merrilly. Mom had commandeered her own ship, but eventually, after a year without dad, she lost her stability, and she had to sell the boat because they wouldn't let her commandeer it any longer.... that made her only more crazy. Her whole life was on that boat....

"You okay, Sasha?"

I looked over to him. "...Yeah. I'm fine."

We walked away, and I looked back over my shoulder. Silver had just noticed we were gone.

"Scrubbing the deck... how often do we have to do this?!"

I was kneeling next to Jim and I grimaced. "If Amelia had her way, then by all means we would do this at least twice a day."

"Ouch."

"Mm hm."

His hand bumped into mine, and I drew back. He grinned.

"What, am I infected?"

"No... I just.... wasn't expecting it, that's all." I said defensively.

"Hm." he looked down thoughtfully.

"Jimbo, you're free to go. Sasha, you stay." Silver said from behind us in his booming, obnoxious voice. I winced.

"Hey, that's not fair." Jim stood up, looking ridiculous in his apron.

"Fine, then, if yeh'd rather stay with her, then go ahead. Neither of yeh come down till this is spotless!"

Jim glared at Silver, but couldn't win the unspoken staredown. Silver smirked and shoved a bucket of water at Jim, who scowled and dumped the water out on the deck. I waited till Silver was gone to look at him. He had dropped to his hands and knees again and was scrubbing silently. I bit my lip.

"Jim.... what did you do that for?"

"It wasn't fair." he said simply. "It wasn't fair to let me go and for you to have to stay. At least we'll get it done more quickly, eh?" he cocked his head, smiling. My face turned red as we did the job together, smiling and laughing.

Finally we were just sitting back and having some fun. The crew were all seated at a table around Silver, listening to him tell a story eagerly. His robotic arm worked furiously to keep up with enhancing the story with visual effects. Jim and I sat on the other side of the room, drinking iced tea, the drink served to those of us who were under 21. I watched Jim watching Silver excitedly. I shook my head. What was he thinking?!

I just didn't want to hear stories about random pointless experiences... no, I wasn't in that kind of mood, since the crew member's stories usually involved their dads. I know I was being a baby. But y'know what? Losing your dad when your nine and your mother losing her mind when you're ten can do that to you.

"Hey..." Jim said casually, and I jumped, not expecting him.

"Hey." I muttered.

I climbed up into the crow's nest and leaned back, my eyes closed. I hoped he got the point, when he saw how small the crow's nest was, that sometimes I needed to be alone. But instead he plunked himself right down next to me. It was a tight fit, even if we were both very thin. He grinned over at me.

"You're quite the enigma, Sasha."

"Thanks." I grumbled.

"....Smile. C'mon. I know you can, I've seen it. Now, come on. Please?"

"Why? What's there to smile about?" I frowned.

He put his hand under my chin and lifted it, making me look at him. "Never frown, Sasha. You just never know who might be falling in love with your smile."

He climbed down and went to rejoin Silver. I stared after him. I had to get off this ship. I just had to. I liked Jim and all -- I mean, he was a nice kid, pretty cute, and he seemed to like me a lot-- but it would just never work. I mean, I was a cat, just like Amelia. And also I had never dated. And i was awkward around guys. And I don't know if I felt the same about him.... I closed my eyes, my head spinning.

Jim didn't bring it back up for a long time. We were sitting scrubbing the crew's dirty dishes.

"Sloppy little brutes..." I muttered. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. We'd been doing this for about two hours, and it was probably midnight by now. I rubbed my eyes.

"Do you want to go to bed and let me finish this?" he asked suddenly, looking up at me.

"No." I yawned. "No, because you helped me scrub the deck. This is the least I can do."

He shrugged, and I felt myself grow more tired as he sang under his breath the song he sang for me earlier. The next thing I knew I was in my bed... Jim had obviously taken me back, and I'd apparently fallen asleep. Stupid Sasha... I blinked, remembering what he had said to me.... 'never frown, because you never knowwho might be falling in love with your smile'. I didn't -want- anyone falling in love with my smile! Heck, I didn't want anyone falling in love with me -period-! Jesus Christ! Jim really wasn't all that bad of a guy. He really wasn't. But it could never ever work. Never.

For some reason that made me kind of sad. I mean, that we could never get together or anything like that. Because I think although I -didn't- like him, that I very easilly -could- like him. In time. I guess. I closed my eyes, trying to go to sleep.