Title: In The End
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Title inspired by the song of the same name by Linkin Park.
Rating: R- harsh language & suggestive dialogue.
Spoilers: Kane-Lita-Matt storyline on RAW, but with my fabrications.
Pairings: Eh
Summary: When Lita confronts the father of her un-born baby it only leads to a new nightmare.
Notes: Lots of inner thoughts in this part, altercations of certain events (like I haven't done it already)..and yes the answer to the question..Whos the daddy? (sort of)
Part 5: Losing Myself In You
The diva sucked in a breath, turning her gaze once more to the window. A silence bordering on tense had filled the hotel room since her last words were spoken. The red head herself, was perhaps surprised at her answer. But then, it was from the heart. How could her heart be wrong?
'Obviously I know that answer. My heart has been wrong on one too many occasions.'
She frowned at the thought; leading with her heart had only lead to heartache. But, something inside her was screaming this was different. Convincing her, that despite her past heartache; he could help. And perhaps this was the answer one of them was expecting and one of them had been hoping for.
'This is really the moment of truth for us. Not concerning here and now, but concerning everything.'
Some part of her still felt that her answer would send her to her doom, be her downfall. That he would, as the cynic inside of her insisted, never hold true to his word. Her heart knew better of course; he had yet to let her down. But at that moment it felt right. She did trust him..she had no other choice. She winced, recalling her conversation with Matt over the choice or lack there of. Looking back, she realized that Matt was right. She could have just let Kane have his way, she could have just backed down. Or she could've and did fight back.
Lita frowned at her dim reflection, wiping futiley at a smudge on the window pane. There was still a definite part of her that was waiting for him to drop the charade and show his true colors. That was, after all, how he was defined. All an act, reel you in close. As the old saying goes, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. She worried her lip, sucking out of habit on the bottom half; while her mind and heart waged yet another war.
'Is this all some twisted mind game? Some sort of trap?'
Even though, in her heart she had accepted him; given in to the stirrings within..her mind believed otherwise. Due to her past dealings with him and more specifically with his associates; the lingering doubt still plauged her. The diva longed to believe that he was sincere, that this wasn't another stiffling blow to her already battered heart. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, still keeping her gaze trained on the window..avoiding the inevitable probing gaze from either man. And on and on, her heart waged war with her mind. The words had left her so easily, her guard dropping..perhaps out of habit due to her present company. She shook her head, raking her hands through her damp locks as she finally turned; arms wrapped around herself in a protective and comforting manner. If this was nothing but a trap..she was dead meat.
'But he was different..' Hazel orbs locked momentairly with his as she leaned back on the window sill; confirming what her heart felt. Attempting in vain to eradicate the doubt in the corner of her mind. 'He is different'
The red head walked back towards them, her mouth barely displaying the joy at her recent ephiany; but did not join them just yet; tortured eyes darting between the two. And that's how it was..they all just sat there; enveloped in a cloak of unspoken questions. Until.. either fotrunately or un-forutantely..Jeff broke the silence.
"Just one thing I don't get" Jeff raked a hand through his hair, sitting cross legged on the bed. "Why?" He cupped his face in his hands; leavening that never ending, open ended question out on the playing field.
Lita opened her mouth, a tired sigh escaping before the words left "Jeff I--"
"Li, no..you already explained why, an' I don't mean that." Probing green orbs turned to the other figure. "Why did you help her?"
The red head blinked at her friend, before she turned towards the man under question. She had often wondered that herself, and yet she had not inquired about it. Gentle, yet inquiring hazel eyes settled on him as she took a seat on the other bed.
"Well I--" The man frowned a touch, his brows furrowing together as he searched his mind. "I--"
A voice that usually held confidence, trailed off as the overwhelming sense of vulnerability took over. Caught between a rock and a hard place; he didn't know what to do nor did he know what to say.
'Why did I help her? What force drove me to even speak with her?'
One hand reached up, shakily raking through his hair. His sporadic thinking had lead him..not only once, not twice but now three times into a situation where he had been rendered speecheless. More over, into a situation that left him open to attack..not by present company; no it was more of a danger than that. He put himself in jeapordy with the company he chose to keep. The company that held him in some sort of lime light for picking on people like her. It was, after all, what they were known for; degrading people like her, ripping them apart and silencing them. And usually by whatever lowhanded, cheap tactics it would take. Truth be told, he had been comfortable with those methods.
'Until she came along'
Inwardly he sighed, recalling the moment he laid eyes on her. He had seen her before and he had to admit that she was hard to miss. Even outside of the ring, she was a vibrant life force that just drew people closer like a moth to a flame. Between her gracing the pages of the diva's magazine, commenting on Sunday Night Heat..and everything else she set out to do..she drew people close. But then, the two weren't talking. She was too focused on getting back to the ring, while he had to focus on building his presence in and out of the ring. A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he recalled the stern words about her.
"Stay as far from her as you possibly can. We'll deal with her in time. But for someone like you?" Hunter (a/n sorry if you were expecting Hunter) intoned forcefully "She is nothing but trouble and she is the last person you want to deal with. Trust me."
He shook his head abruptly at the memory, words still ringing through his ears. For, despite the order laid down..he had avoided her physically and he kept his focus off of her. But she still lingered, back in the corner of his mind. Subconsciouly, perhaps, he had started seeking her out. Or perhaps it was fate's role in things. Whatever the case, they had their fair share of chance meetings and run in's. Both backstage at events and out of the arena's..at clubs, or at the hotel. Still, they had remained that way for quite some time. At least until he was out on injury. But, once had bounced back and right back to the position he belonged in..things had changed between them. Not on their own free will, oh no..it was far too easy for that. Things had changed due to their mere associations. She had her circle of friends and he had his. That was the end of it.
'Or so I thought'
They still said nothing to each other, but the run in's they had became more intense. Heated and angry, the mere contempt and hatred that she and his fearless leader shared, tainting whatever fragile grounds they could have had for some sort of friendship. And it went on that way, untl that one fateful night.
xxxxx Flashback xxxxx
"Tell me again.." A flash of annoyance filled his face, as he addressed his leader. "What's the point?"
Out in the ring, Lita had just entered..
"Because.." Hunter smirked in that oh so annoying, but oh so confident way of his..damn that ego. "This is the perfect time to strike, to wound her. This is when the game begins and ends with her."
Absently he nodded, acknowledging the explaination but not fully accepting it. Whatever the case, he had no choice as Hunter was leading the way from behind the curtains.
Flanked on both sides, he watched her..his eyes uncaring but something sparked in him. The way she stood, the way she addressed Hunter. Her posture eminating no fear of any of them. He knew full well, he wasn't out there to talk, he was out there to re-enforce the commanding presence that is Hunter Hearst Helmsley. That was after all, one of the true purposes behind Evolution.
xxxx
Things had changed between them from that moment on. Of course, neither one chose to acknowledge it, but both were aware of it's exsitence. And yet, it plauged him. Perhaps it plauged her, but by her demeanor..it bothered her. Whatever the case, it didn't surface until a week later. Funny how life works..the very man that had pushed them apart so recently had been the reason behind them getting together in the first place. He had just been walking around, getting some inborn rush off of scaring the hell out of one of the no names...and then he found her. Curled up in the end of the hallway, but despite the situation..she was shedding no tears. He figured that either she was just too strong to cry, or too pissed off to cry. Either way, he had stopped dead in his tracks, watching her from the end of the hall; biding his time until she had to move or until she noticed his presence.
"What do you want?" A tired, aggitated voice snapped in his direction.
He drawled casually, crossing his arms. "What makes you think I want anything?"
"Oh I don't know." She rolled her eyes in spite of it all, that defiance always sparking at some level. "Maybe the fact that you've been standing there a good five minutes? Don't you have any errands from Hunter?"
A brow raised as he took a step forward. "Given the..uncertainty of your job." The corners of his mouth tugged into a grim smirk, "..or lack there of..do you really think you're in any position to speak to me like that?"
"Oh piss off.." She slammed her head back against the wall, clenching and unclenching her hands. "All I want, is a few minutes of peace to brood, bitch and moan. So why don't you just go away. I'm in no mood to deal with my own friends, so the last thing I want to deal with is the likes of you." Her eyes narrowed in warning, all of her pent up rage and frustration..pain and hurt..finally coming forward. "Go away or I'll make you go away."
"I'm going to go with..no." He took another step forward, still watching her. Even in this broken state, while others would be completely down trodden, she remained a spark..and perhaps that was why the next words spilled from his mouth. "...you can talk to me."
Her mouth opened to retort but she just shook her head. "Forget it...forget me, forget you saw me like this. Just go away and leave me alone."
Undeterred, he pressed on, another step taken..leading him perhaps to his downfall. "Give me a good reason why..and I'll go."
A moment of silence later and he found himself, sitting across the hallway from her. He probably would have remained that way, had he not been needed. When he moved to stand, a weak hand caught his wrist; hazel orbs bright with unshed tears pleading with him to stay. Maybe it was her moment of weakness that lead to his and maybe it wasn't. But, whatever the case, he found himself offering to talk to her later...and making an off handed promise to see if he could get her job back somehow.
xxxxx End Flashback xxxxx
And that was how it all began. That one night leading to a chain of events, a slight reprive..perhaps the proverbial calm before the storm..and to now. Fate had dealt them a hand that neither was prepared for. And yet, for whatever reasons they each held; they were going to face it. Together. Despite their past differences and despite the chaos and turmoil that would follow; they were standing strong. His eyes locked with hers, seeking some sort of re-assurance before he finally addressed the question given him.
"I did it because it was right.." He sat back in the chair, eyes that held no doubt locking with probing green orbs. "Because it felt right to me. Regardless of the consequences."
A brow shot up in disbelief, but stern hazel eyes silenced him. For now. "So you're tellin' me, that despite the..tension between Li and Hunter -- "
His determined voice interrupted. "I don't give a damn about Hunter. I knew full well he wouldn't approve and I don't need to seek out anyone's blessing."
Jeff inclined his head a touch, taking in the man's form. "So why live in his shadow?"
His eyes narrowed a margin, just masking the anger at that very question. "I really don't think that is a matter that needs to be discussed."
The younger man held up his hands in defeat. "Look, I'm askin' because..once word gets around about the two of you? You'll more than have your hands full..with just her friends alone."
"Guys, look.." The red head interrupted before the tension escalated. "I know that this discussion is really far from over, but can we please? Just drop it." She rolled to her side, half staring at the ceiling; half at her friend. "I have had a day and all I want to do at this point is just relax."
Jeff made a motion to comment but he was interrupted when the long awaited room service finally arrived. For her part, Lita took advantge for the window of peace to address an issue.
"Look, what Jeff said earlier..about you livin' in Hunter's shadow." She paused ,waiting until his troubled gaze cleared and locked with hers. "Why do you?"
"Because, it allows me the liberty to do what I want, without having to answer to someone." He shrugged just slightly, frowning when her brows furrowed at first in confusion..then in anger. "And yes I realize that working with Hunter means I answer to him but--"
"Then you don't realize" She shook her head, sitting up to fully observe him. "You have so much potential..and yeah, a lot of it has recently been tapped. Albeit, I'd feel better if it weren't at the hands of two of my friends but.." She shrugged it off, a slim finger pausing his retort.
"The point is, you do have a lot of potential. And it's just being wasted. Every minute you stick with Hunter, stick to the shadows..you just waste another minute of your spotlight."
He opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't find the words. Instead, his head nodded impercitably..silently acknowledging the red head's words. More imporantly, acknowledging that he understood.
"Then what do you propose?"
"I don't have all the answers and even if I did?" She smiled half heartedly, "This is something you need to figure out for yourself. But, I can tell you one thing...I'll be here."
The corners of his own mouth tugged upwards into a smile, reserved for her. "I can deal with that."
She opened her own mouth to respond, but alas was cut off when the return of Jeff, plus the all important late night goodies, re-joined the scene. And once everything and everyone was settled..either on one of the beds or on the floor between, the red head broke the now comfortable silence.
"Well..in this crazy road that is life...I'd like to say one thing." She paused, both to collect her thoughts and ensure she had their attenion.
"Here's to whatever lies at the next bend."
End Part 5.
Authorly Notes:
Well, I'm not sure if I'll just end it here or extend it. I will say..this chapter beat the dickens out of me. I've re-written it thrice already. But, I do feel that if it ends here..it should be satisfactory. If not (or if restless muses demand) then I'll have the next part for you shortly.