Hello?" Kate's tired voice came over the phone.
"Kate, it's me. Can I see you?" He asked with the pain in his voice very
evident.
"Jack you made it clear you didn't want me around anymore the other day. What do you expect me to say?" Kate asked still angry at him. It was his turn to hurt like she did.
"I'm sorry. I. . ." He paused unsure if he could go on to tell her.
She could hear the slurred words in his voice and she assumed he was high too. She felt her heart scream to let him come over and her brain scream that he was just going to use her, but he had that moment of truth, and she knew he was hurting.. "Fine." She said listening to her heart. "I'll come to you, by the sounds of it, you don't need to be driving."
She cursed herself for giving in to him; there was something about him that made it hard to say no. He had this scared child-like quality to him that made it hard. She could hear the pain in his voice and could only assume what had happened. She hung the phone up and got dressed. She ran out to her car and drove to his hotel room.
When she pulled up outside she noticed the light on and he was his shadow reflected in the window. He was sitting on the bed holding his head in his hands. She ran up to the door pressing the automatic lock button on her keys. She knocked and he answered the door promptly. She noticed that he had been crying. He sat on the bed and she walked in closing and locking the door behind her.
"Kate, I'm sorry." He said with his hands in his head again.
She sat on the bed next to him. She pulled his hands from his head and he turned and looked her in the eye, "What happened? You look worse than when I left you last night."
Jack looked at himself in the mirror and said, "I had an accident last night. I'm fine."
"Whose blood is on your clothes?" Kate was not sure if her questions were helping or not, but she was trying to find out what put him in this state. She had never seen him in a state like this and it scared her, but gave her hope that maybe she had gotten to him.
"They had me..." Jack stopped his mind screaming at him, Tell her you fucking idiot and she'll run away from you. She has a clue of who you are but this will show her the real monster inside. You are no better than the people you work against. They know that, you know it, but she doesn't. Tell her and she'll never have you again. Another part of his mind scream to tell her she would forgive him or help him forgive himself.
"They had you what, Jack?" Kate said, only guessing what he would say. Kill someone, torture someone, and the list could go on.
"I killed two people today Kate." Jack said suddenly cold.
Kate was not sure what to say. She had seen him kill before. "It's okay Jack. I'm sure you had to." That was all she could say to him. Her mind knew there was always another way or so she still hoped, but she had learned from him sometimes you have to do things just to make the world better. She looked at him and saw how much he had sacrificed over the years for the country, and she knew it weighed on him.
He was no longer crying. His mind running a hundred miles and hour he was trying to hide what he had done from here. He lowered his head in shame of what he had done.
Kate grabbed his head pulling it up to her and she kissed him, "Jack, you are a good man and I am sure those people were bad guys." Seeing him in this state made her want to take his pain away. She could not fight it anymore. She loved him and she wanted to be with him. She kissed him again passionately. The next thing she knew, they were on the bed together fighting with the buttons on one another's clothing.
She awoke in the middle of the night and she turned around and saw him awake watching her. She knew he was tired by his eyes. "Why don't you sleep?" She asked him.
"I can't." He answered back kissing her on the forehead. "Don't worry, go back to bed."
"When will you be done with this operation?"
"I don't know. I won't be here anymore after tomorrow. I'm leaving town with them." He told her. He was not sure why, but he felt like she deserved to know.
She kissed him and said, "At least try to sleep."
He got off his elbow and laid on the bed. He rested his head on the same pillow her head was on. She started to gently stroke his chest and continued until she finally fell asleep. Jack lay on the bed his mind going back to the little girl over and over. When the sun rose he got out of the bed trying not to disturb Kate. He walked over to the clothes he had on the chair and picked out a pair of running shorts, and a blue shirt. He put his tennis shoes on stretches and then went on a seven mile run. His mind not focusing the entire time, and his body screaming in pain, he made it back to the hotel room to find Kate still asleep on the bed. He took a shower and dressed in one of the outfits that Claudia had bought for him. He walked out of the bathroom and Kate sat up in bed yawning.
"You look handsome. Where did you get that?"
"It was a gift." He said avoiding eye contact. He went to packing all his belongings he had at the hotel.
"Oh!" She said knowing only a woman would pick something that nice out. "Are you?"
He felt a sudden rush of anger, "No, I am not." He let more anger show than he wanted to.
"Sorry." Kate said feeling bad for accusing him.
"I got to go. I'm leaving today and I need to call into CTU to let them know. Thank you Kate." He said kissing her good bye. "Good bye, and I still mean what I said the other day. Please move on while I'm gone. I'm not what you want. We both know it. It would not work. I love my job too much. I would just do the same thing to you that I did to Teri and you nor she deserve-" he paused correcting himself as he avoided eye contact "deserved that." Jack left before Kate could register it all and get pissed at him. He had not wanted to sleep with her last night it just happened. He did not want her to think it was him trying to get one last night of sex with her either. He took out his phone and dialed the number to CTU.
"Edmunds."
"Chase, it is Jack. I called to tell you I'm going to Mexico today. I'm in. Only one more test to pass. How are things with Kit?"
Chase hesitated a second too long, "Fine."
"What happened, Chase?" Jack said worried.
"Nothing. Kit went dark, that's all. He was fine. By the sounds of it, he just had to cut off all connections to maintain his cover and get deeper, that's all."
"OK. It looks like he's doing a little better than I thought." Jack was not sure he believed him. "How is Kim?"
"She's fine. She is doing a great job. Chloe and Adam are showing her the ropes. She misses you. Do you want to talk to her?" Chase asked.
"No. Don't tell her I called. I don't want to have to give her another good-bye speech." Jack thought he had given her one too many of those before.
"Sure. How are you?" Chase asked. He was not sure what to say, and asking someone how they were was a basic question, a filler.
"I'm fine." Jack did not tell him the truth of how he really was. He felt like a piece of shit at the moment, but he knew it would pass like all the other times. "I need to go. I have to pick Hector and the others up."
"Good luck." Chase said as a good-bye. He had already said goodbye to his best friend and did not want to say good-bye to the other person he looked up to.
Jack drove around for awhile and then returned to the hotel after he was sure Kate was gone. He gave the hotel manager his key and said good-bye. He walked over to the bar and left a good-bye note to Casey, not sure if she knew what had happened the night before or not. He then drove to the Hilton and sat outside for awhile because he was early.
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After Jack walked out with his parting words, Kate sat on the bed stunned. It took a moment for her to see he was saying good-bye for good. She started to cry again, all of the pain of his rejection coming back. She wanted to be there for him, and for him to be there for her. In the beginning of the relationship, it had been like that. She helped him or she thought she helped him deal with his guilt for his wife passing, now she was not so sure. She loved him, and was willing to play second fiddle for a while, until he saw he could love her and still love his dead wife. She would have been willing to wait forever because he was the man she wanted.He was a scared little child inside. Outside, he was a hardcore bad-ass when he had to be, but inside he was something different. When you got Jack on his own, away from his job, he was the sweetest guy in the world. On the job, he was focused, but still had a kindness to him, as he had exhibited towards her the day they met.
She left the hotel room tears streaming down her face. She could not believe she ran back to him last night. She cursed herself for being so stupid. Had she become the girlfriend he called when he was drunk? Who had he called before her? She turned her car on and the radio sang out at her.
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand
And we figured out that when the time comes I'll take you away
She thought of him. She had Jack Bauer figured out already. He was a fucked-up man. She knew very little of his life before her. He had divulged under constant pressure what had happened to his wife, and how he was involved with Nina for awhile while he was separated from his wife. She could see the pain in his eyes he tried so hard to hide from everyone. He led everyone to believe that he was fine, but in reality, he was not. He was a scared little child inside trying to find himself in the world. She knew he had no clue who he was. She could see in him the struggle to understand how he could kill people and at the same time be a good guy. She struggled with the thought herself when she first met him. She wanted to explain to him that life was a big paradox. In the end, the good guys had to sink to the bad guys' level to win, therefore by definition becoming a bad guy, and yet they were still good guys. It was a Catch-22, a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. She thought about a book she came across one day, THE BOOK, it was entitled. It had a lot of good knowledge in it. Some of it was a little confusing because the author wrote in circles, but in the end he just showed how life was a big Catch-22, everything was in the end. She made a mental note to find it and send a copy to Jack in hopes that he would read it sometime.
If you want to I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
I'm sinking slowly so hurry hold me
Your hand is as I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see where you go when your gone
If you want to I can save you
I can take away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
Kate could never stay mad at Jack for long. She knew more about him than he would like her to know. Between the little details he gave her and her own observations, she was able to fill in the blanks. She wanted to be there for him. He needed someone to help in through life. To help him have that person he could trust that he never got to have as a child or now as an adult, but that was the problem. After Nina betrayed him he, became unable to trust people. Before Nina, he did not trust many people, and after that he would trust no one.
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At noon, Jack got out of his car and walked into the Hilton. The elevator man already knowing where he was going pushed the button for the floor. Jack stood outside and knocked twice. He waited for someone to open the door.
Claudia left the breakfast table to answer the door. She was dressed in a nice woman's pants suit she had bought the other day. She opened the door and saw Jack standing there. She gave him a cold stare and said, "You're early."
Hector called from the breakfast table, "Who's here, Claudia?"
Claudia stared at him. She hated him, he was a monster. He had killed those people and here he stood like everything was peachy. "Jack." She said walking away from the door.
Hector got up and said, "Where are your manners Claudia? Come in Jack. You are early."
Jack walked through the door; he was a one man show at the moment, giving the performance of his life again. "Yeah. Sorry I got up early and thought I'd head over in case you needed anything before you took off."
"I don't think so. You want some coffee?" Hector asked.
It took Jack off-guard for a moment. "Yeah." Jack was a little freaked out. This was a new side of Hector he had not seen.
Hector handed him a cup of coffee. Jack looked at it wondering for a millisecond if it were drugged. He took a drink and enjoyed the warm liquid going down his parched throat. He hoped the caffeine would be enough to keep him going. He had not slept that well for the past few days and it was starting to wear on him.
"We are almost ready to go. Why don't you go get Pedro and see if he's up?"
"What about Thomas?" Jack asked remembering the man who had disappeared the other day.
"He went back down to Mexico the other day." Hector answered his new employee.
Jack left the room with the cup of coffee. He found the room Pedro was in and knocked on the door. After a few minutes of banging, Pedro finally answered looking as if he had a worse hang-over than Jack. "Yeah?"
"Hector wants to get going soon." Jack answered flatly.
"Fine. I'll be ready in twenty." Pedro said closing the door and going back to his room to pack and shower.
Jack walked back to Hector's room. He knocked and Hector called him in. "You look like shit. Did you go home and sleep like I told you?" Hector asked looking at Jack who had huge bags under his eyes.
"Yeah. I couldn't sleep at the hotel, never really got used to it. I like life on the road, but can't stand hotels. Weird, I know." Jack leaned against the wall waiting for Hector and Claudia to come out of the back fully packed and ready to go. He closed his eyes and his mind drifted some.He opened them at the sound of footsteps coming close. Hector was carrying one of Claudia's many suitcases. Jack rushed over and took over grabbing the suitcases and putting them on the luggage carrier that waited them outside.He walked with the bellboy to his SUV where he helped pack all of the suitcases in. When they finished packing the SUV, Hector, Claudia, and Pedro were ready to go. Jack got in the SUV and drove to the small airport they would be flying out of.
On the way there, he looked back into the rear-view mirror and saw Claudia staring back at him through it. He quickly diverted his eyes each time. He was still wondering why she was acting towards him as she had been. Why did it matter that he tortured that man? He did deserve it in the end. He had just beaten the crap out of Jack the night before, but his mind could not rationalize the little girl or the woman. They would just become another ghost that haunts him at night before he sleeps if he is lucky enough to sleep.
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Tony walked across the floor of CTU up to Jack's office. After CTU had been bombed, it had to be rebuilt and Division decided to let Tony and Jack, that was if Jack chose to stay with CTU again, to run the L.A. office. Jack would run field-ops and Tony had everything else. Tony was fine with it, though a little uncomfortable because he would be working with Jack. The last time they had worked together, Tony had been a whiny little punk always getting in the way, and Jack had been the boss. With this revelation, CTU built matching offices on opposite sides of CTU. This helped Tony with the uncomfortable feelings of working with Jack as an equal and it helped even more that Jack was cool with it, and treated Tony like an equal, seeming to forget about the past between them.
He walked into Jack's office. Chase was behind Jack's computer typing up a report for Tony on both undercover missions. Tony asked, "Any word on either of them yet?"
Chase looked up to Tony answering, "Yes sir. Jack is going to Mexico today to work with the Salazars, and Kit is doing good. He is working well he said with the organization and it would only be a matter of weeks before he knows enough to bring the leader in." Chase lied to Tony about Kit. He had promised to help Kit and he hoped that Tony would not notice.
Tony did notice, but would not go into further detail. He knew Chase would not divulge it, that was why Jack chose him to stay behind because he knew when to keep his mouth shut. Tony would just check the phone logs. Every conversation was recorded and it would not be hard to find the correct one, nor would it be difficult for Tony to access it because he was the director of CTU. "Fine. Get the reports typed up and sent over to Division. Chappelle is going crazy and wants them ASAP." Tony left the office to walk down to Michelle's desk.
Michelle sat at her desk typing away working on possible leads on the person who had attacked the President the day the nuclear bomb went off. She did not look up. She knew Tony's footsteps and smell enough to know it was him. "What's up, Tony?"
Tony smiled at her and asked, "Is there any way you can get a phone conversation between Kit and Chase for me?"
"Why don't you just ask Chase about it?" Michelle asked still typing away.
"He's not telling me something that I need to know." Tony answered.
"Sure, but don't forget I have to take off early today. My parents are coming in town, and I need to pick up your mom for dinner tonight, plus Chase is going to help me move some of my stuff over to our house later."
"Fine. I just need that from you. I'll see you tonight. Hopefully everything will work out for the better tonight." Tony said with the thought of his mom meeting Michelle and her parents. Michelle's parents were sort of up-tight, as most rich people are, and Tony's mother was far from that. She still spoke with her native Mexican accent and held onto some of the customs. All of this getting together could lead to some interesting situations.
Tony walked away from his wife to be and smiled as he walked up the steps to his office. When he got into the room, he collapsed into the chair and thought about all of their plans and it felt as if they did not have enough time to get everything done before they got married in a few months.
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They were on their way to Canada. The land of hockey and some other things. I always wanted to visit this place, Kit thought to himself. He knew they could not run from all of their problems, but they needed to lay low for awhile until they were both ready to fight who they had to so that they could be together. He knew if he were on the outside looking in on his "relationship" with Nina, he would call himself stupid, but it was always different when you were in the situation. Sometimes, he thought he was too smart for his own good because he would over-think everything, except this time. He was going to do something stupid and listened to his heart for once. He did not want to end up like Jack alone in the world with only hatred and anger fueling him. He wanted to be something to someone, and his anger and hatred could not run his life. Kit saw that he and Jack were two separate sides of the same person. They both have common goals, and have certain advantages the other person doesn't have. For Kit, he was able to forgive almost everyone for their past bad deeds, but does not have enough experience. For Jack, he was the most experienced agent and soldier in the field, but nearly mis-trusts everyone.Nina watched him she could only guess what he was thinking about. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She finally broke the silence and asked.
"Yeah. If you are not playing me and really want to be with me, I can do this. I know it's crazy and stupid, but I can accept it. Just please don't be playing me. If you are though, I'll be fine either way as long as I'm protecting you." Kit said in a moment of truthfulness looking at her direction. He was going to tell her everything so that they both knew what they were getting into.
"I'm not playing." Nina respected his moment of truthfulness and replied in kind. She continued though, "But this will never work Kit. We are on opposite sides of the law and we have both sides after us. You cannot believe we can both make it out of this without some type of repercussion. We cannot be unscathed when we have two groups of highly trained people after us, and truthfully, I don't think you can take Jack. He's not a clean fighter, and he has been in the game too long."
"We don't need to talk about this yet." Kit said trying to avoid the conversation. He pulled out his Beretta while attaching a silencer to the muzzle of the gun just in case something bad would happen. He knew he could take Jack, but the problem was would he mentally be able to? He knew Jack well, or as well as one could really know Jack, in knowing him well, he knew all of Jack's weaknesses and strengths, therefore he knew how to defeat Jack. The problem was that Jack had helped him out a lot, and he even took Kit under his wing and tried to help him after the whole Nina fiasco. Kit started to feel guilty about what he was doing, but didn't show it. Kit knew he had to get his hands dirty to prove that the organization he was going to infiltrate was really on their side. In his point of view, Kit's actions may have reached the limit on making his cover story convincing.
"We need to talk about it because sooner or later they will be knocking on our door, and we have to be ready." Nina quipped back. She was not going to let him escape this conversation again. "I know how we can take out the organization we were working for, and Jack at the same time."It had just occurred to her. The light bulb was glowing and she thought it just might work. "Where is Jack now?" She asked knowing Kit would know.
"Busy." Kit said not sure if he was willing or able to divulge Jack was undercover.
"Busy where?" Nina asked staring at Kit. "I need to know. Maybe we can stop him without having to actually be a part of it." Nina tried to re-assure him.
"He's undercover with another organization." Kit answered, not divulging everything keeping his eyes focused on the road.
"Fine. Do you know how long it will last?" Nina could only figure months knowing Jack and how good he was.
"Six months to a year possibly is what he had been saying. It could be longer than expected, though." Kit answered being honest.
"Then we are safe from him for that long. Word should not get to him. Then all we have left is to turn in the head honcho of the organization I work for. That won't be hard as long as you still have your contact with CTU."
"I still got one." Kit said thinking of Chase and what he had asked of his fellow agent. He just hoped that Chase is enjoying his new "position" unofficially, and that Tony would not get suspicious about it.
"Fine. We go to Canada. Once we get settled in I'll call the organization and let them know what happened. We'll play it that you were not undercover and if they find out, you switched sides. If they found out your actions dictate against still being in CTU, they will most likely have someone inside so it won't be too hard to let that pass."
Kit glanced over at her when she mentioned another mole possibly inside CTU. He began to wonder who it might be, and if they had been as successful as Nina had been.
"We get their trust back again, and you go on with the mission as if nothing ever happened. Once we get them to come to a major meeting, you call your contact and let them know when and where. You show up, I'll be away somewhere, and we have them out of the way. Leaving only CTU and Jack."Maybe they will believe that you chose another line of work, after you finish the mission. We can meet again in Canada, wherever we set up base camp. Hopefully, they will believe all of it and that way we never have to deal with Jack or CTU." Nina outlined the plan with some excitement, but in her heart she knew Jack would find out and come after them, and in the end, one of the men she loved would die. Which one, she was not sure, nor was she sure which one would hurt her the most to see go.
"And if it doesn't work?" Kit asked thinking some of the same thoughts she had, like it would never work.
"We have to hope for the best, and if it doesn't, then it's up to you. As I see it you have two choices, you can turn me over to Jack or you could fight Jack. If it doesn't work in the end, it's up to you."
They drove the rest of the way in silence, both wondering what the other was thinking and then moving on to what would the other do in each situation, and if the other was capable of the other situation. Neither came to a solid conclusion. Finally, after they crossed the Canadian border, stopping at Ontario, Toronto. Kit pulled off into a hotel. "I need to rest for a while. How about we stop here?"
"Sure. I'll get the room this time. Why don't you pull the car around the back? I'll see if we can't get one of those rooms." Nina said getting out of the car.
Kit waited for her behind the hotel in the car. She returned and walked to room 24. She opened it and was greeted with a nice hotel room, unlike the other. Kit followed her in once he saw her walking into the room. When he got into the room he collapsed onto the double bed, His mind exhausted from thinking too much. All he wanted to do was fall asleep and then wake up with Nina next to him. He closed his eyes and let all of his muscles relax. He felt Nina lay next to him saying, "Go ahead and sleep. I'll keep watch for awhile to make sure no one was following us."
Kit was tired so he laid down and let himself fall asleep. As he slept, Nina thought about leaving him. She did care for him, but she knew what he was sacrificing and it was not worth it in the end. She had done the same thing he had not too long ago, and look where she was today. The more she tried to leave him, the worse she felt. She needed him to start over again. Maybe if she saw Jack and apologized, he would forgive her? She doubted it, more like she thought to herself, hell would have to be an ice-skating rink year-round.