Chapter Six

James was a blurred ball of scarlet, hurtling through the air above the Pitch as fast as his broom could take him, the cool morning air whipping his face and robes, sending his disorderly hair even further in every direction. He loved this. The speed burned up his sadness, and all his focus was on the tiny glitter of gold ahead. He caught it for the tenth time, then let it go again, giving it a head-start as he caught his breath raggedly.

Then he was off again, at break-neck speed, his broom protesting slightly beneath him. He caught the Snitch in about five seconds and pocketed it, flying laps now, getting steadily closer to the smooth green turf beneath him. But his broomstick hadn't been racing nearly as quickly as his mind was. He had come down that morning to see Lily... his Lily... curled up next to one of his closest friends on the armchair, her arms wrapped around his neck. He had actually gone down to breakfast in his pajamas. After eating, he had used the secret passageway next to the Fat Lady to get back inside the boys dormitory... he hadn't fancied looking at that chair and its sleeping occupants again. He dressed absentmindedly, ending up with his Quidditch robes on and his broomstick over his shoulder, the Snitch struggling against his clenched fist.

He had paused for a moment, listening to the light snores of Frank and Peter, as well Sirius' sleepy mumbling and then had slid, silent as a ghost, back through the trapdoor and into the passageway. He had been on the Pitch ever since, battling with the sorrowful weight that seemed to have lodged itself in his stomach. Quidditch was his way of dealing with things; his way of forcing things into perspective. He realized that he had no reason to blame this on Remus. In fact, he wasn't really angry about it, exactly... just-- just jealous. And hurt. Admitting this, even in his mind, had caused just as much pain as the incident itself had. He struggled to stop feeling sorry for himself and focus on the Snitch, which had been liberated from its prison in the pocket of his (undoubtedly quite smelly) robes. Get over yourself, James, he scolded, internally.

He had made up his mind, after an additional hour or so of chasing a tiny fluttering ball like a maniac, to just try and pretend like nothing had ever happened. He thought it would be best that way. After all, Remus was his friend and he didn't want Moony feeling as if James was trying to guilt him into something. He sighed, going into a slow dive, his toes skimming the grass before rising calmly towards the heavens once more. He stopped to watch three figures rummaging about in the supplies shed... one of them with distinctly familiar red hair. He felt a slight jolt in his stomach as they emerged with broomsticks and decided it would be best to get out of there as fast as possible. Just because he was pretending nothing had happened didn't mean he was going to try to hang around Evans like some overly talkative shadow. In fact, he was going to make a conscious effort to behave very decently around her, to show his support for Remus.

He sailed over the stands and landed hastily behind the Pitch, walking up to the castle as five figures rose into the air above the Pitch behind him. He didn't look back. After climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor Tower, James ignored the crowd in the common room, and instead headed up to the dormitory. He flopped down onto his bed, pulling out his school things and sucking on the end of his quill. He supposed he should finish his homework for tomorrow, since he had nothing more interesting to do.

He had written three essays, read the entire assigned section in A History of Magic, and drawn a diagram of a kelpie for Care of Magical Creatures by lunch. Done, he thought, satisfied, as he threw down his quill at noon. The dormitory door opened just as James was standing up; and a laughing Sirius entered, followed by Remus and Frank; all three of them tousle-headed and flushed from flying.

"Oh, hey," James said.

Remus looked up. "I haven't seen you all morning, Prongs," he said, a faint frown line appearing between his eyes.

"Oh, yeah... I was finishing up all that bloody homework," said James, hoping he sounded casual as he gestured toward the homework still spread all over his four poster.

"That moonstones essay was a piece of cake," Sirius said haughtily, "It took me about ten minutes to finish. I don't know why they bother teaching us that rubbish."

Remus grinned behind Sirius' back and caught James' eye. Prongs grinned too, and the two of them walked down to lunch.

Oddly, James didn't feel any different talking to Remus. He'd thought that he would; he had imagined that things would be awkward, if not hostile, between them. But they weren't, and James was glad. He didn't know what he'd have done without Remus.

"So..." James said, grinning, "Full moon's in a couple days, my friend."

"I noticed," Remus said grimly. James' grin faded slightly for a moment before saying softly, "What have we got planned?"

Remus shrugged, saying, "I dunno. Sirius was going on about pulling pranks in Hogsmeade."

James caught the weariness in Remus' voice and was overwhelmed by a strong surge of pity. "You alright, Moony?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too concerned. Remus hated being fussed over.

"Sure," Moony replied, a little too quickly. James frowned slightly and the two of them fell into silence. Once they reached the Great Hall, they sat about halfway down the Gryffindor table and had started loading their plates, when Sirius appeared in the huge doorway, accompanied by Lily, of all people. They seemed to be deep in conversation. James and Remus exchanged puzzled glances, and continued watching as Sirius swept his hair back and grinned at Lily. He said something, and she laughed casually.

"You'd think that they've been friends for years." James said sarcastically. Remus grinned and turned his attention back to his sandwich. Sirius and Lily came over to the two of them and sat down, still chatting animatedly. Remus shot Lily a quizzical glance and she mouthed at him 'later'. He shrugged and poured a flagon of pumpkin juice for himself. Lily turned the conversation to O.W.L.'s, asking if anybody else was putting in five hours of studying a day yet.

They laughed at her for a minute before realizing that she was serious; and then tried to redeem themselves by nodding energetically and saying things like, "Well, of course... they're only a month away..." at which it was her turn to laugh. A gang of Slytherin girls chose this moment to walk by the group. One of them turned to Lily, raised her eyebrows, and said "Hey, Mudblood, since when are you Ms. Popular?"

James started to rise to his feet, as did Remus and Sirius. Surprisingly, Remus spoke first.

"Somehow," he said in a mock pondering voice, "I don't believe anybody asked for your opinion."

The girls sneered at him, and the lead one with the pug nose who had spoken before eyed Remus' patchy robes and had begun to open her mouth, as if to say something smart back at him, but she seemed to change her mind when she saw the glares coming from Sirius and James (not to mention Lily, who was red-faced but looking furious). The pug-nosed Slytherin shut her mouth and pranced off.

"Slimy gits, the whole lot of them," said Sirius, taking his seat once more, and sweeping his lengthy hair out of his face again (this caused a couple of Ravenclaw girls to sigh from behind him, but Sirius ignored them).

Lily looked awkward in James's opinion; her face was flushed and she was biting her lip and looking ashamed. He caught her eye, and was struck speechless for a moment by how green they were. He smiled encouragingly, and she gave him a small smile before turning to chat with Remus. James couldn't explain, even to himself, why this was just fine with him. He turned back to Padfoot and started up a lively conversation about the Kenmare Kestrels and how spectacularly they had lost in the match against England not too long ago, and feeling as though the terrible weight in his stomach had lifted somehow.