OR DIE TRYING: CHO CHANG'S SIXTH YEAR
By monkeymouse
NB: JKRowling built the Potterverse; I'm just redecorating one of the rooms. And one of the great things about JKR telling the story from Harry's point of view is that stuff could be happening all over Hogwarts that Harry isn't aware of.
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Everything
xxx
17. A Seeker Once Again
"Right-o, Hogwarts, and welcome!"
xxx
The weeks between November 2 and December 14 were cold and quiet for Cho, broken only by her terrors over Cedric and Quidditch practice and lessons from Harry.
The Ravenclaw team worked harder than ever after Umbridge's Edict #25 banning Harry and the Weasley twins from Quidditch for life. Perhaps Roger Davies was half-afraid that she might change her mind and let them back on the team, or that McGonagall would find a way. Perhaps he was afraid that Ravenclaw House would be the next to lose players. In any event, he took to lecturing the team almost daily about not stepping out of line, not getting involved in anything "the least bit dicey," as he put it, and definitely not crossing Umbridge.
Cho didn't care; she'd been crossing Umbridge by being part of the Army, and she was going to keep on. She checked the enchanted Galleon, noted the times and dates for each meeting, and was among the first there, taking in Harry and all that he had to teach.
Before one lesson, Zacharias Smith, a Chaser on the Hufflepuff team, asked about changing schedules just before the match. Cho studied Harry's face carefully, but, if he were upset about having to talk Quidditch after what had happened to him, he gave no sign. You're made of stronger stuff than I am, Cho sighed to herself. Being banned would kill me.
Then it was off on another round of learning Hexes and Charms. She had little trouble picking up the Somnambula Sleeping Charm, but the following week she was all thumbs at the Obliteration Charm--until Harry stopped to work it through with her. She didn't say a word for the rest of the lesson, but smiled more broadly than she had since last June. She was still smiling when she left the Room of Requirement, rubbing her wand hand, remembering how it felt when Harry adjusted her grip.
It was ... nice. It didn't send shivers and waves and fog through her, the way Cedric had, but there was definitely something there. And she knew that it would be pleasant to find out what it was...
xxx
Maybe part of it was the relief of knowing that she wouldn't have to think of Harry as an opponent. She'd hated the idea that, just as they seemed to be drawing closer in the Defense courses, they'd have to contend with each other as opposing Seekers for the Quidditch Cup. As bad as Cho felt about Harry's punishment, she couldn't help but be a bit pleased at the way things had worked out.
Meanwhile, she didn't have any trouble thinking of the Hufflepuffs as a team to beat. Even though Davies worked them nearly to ribbons at practice, the consensus was that Hufflepuff's team wouldn't be much different from past years, and that Summerby, the new Seeker, was hardly a replacement.
They would never say who Summerby replaced, especially if Cho was within earshot. The other players had all decided that, for Cho's own good, they wouldn't mention the name of Cedric Diggory, for fear of setting her off.
Except that Cho knew; she couldn't help but notice. She'd be talking strategy with Roger, or Hugo Millbanks the new Keeper, when all of a sudden their sentences would take some strange grammatical turn quite off the subject. "Quite right," Millbanks said one time, "all we have to is keep, er, um, the way clear for you to get the Snitch." They were even afraid to say "Hufflepuff Seeker" now. Cho hated them for treading so lightly around her; then she realized that they were doing it out of consideration for her feelings, which made her hate herself instead. As a result, she avoided the team off the pitch as much as possible.
She explained all of this in a scroll home one week before the match, as she sat alone in her dormitory room. "Mummy, it is so frustrating I can't stand it! I know what they're doing better than they do! They want to spare me having to think about Cedric--as if I still don't think of him anyway! This way, by tip-toeing around the subject, it just becomes all the more obvious. And if I manage to concentrate on the match, or studies, or something else, then their silence just ends up reminding me of Cedric.
"As for that--I wish I had better news to report to you and Daddy, but the dreams keep on, as horrid as ever. They seem to be somewhat fewer and farther apart, but still they strike me once or twice a week. And during my waking hours--I have tried and tried, Mummy, and I think I'm able to control things, push back the memories, and I'm getting better at it, but it's still merely avoiding the inevitable. And when I can't stop it, it just seems to burst out all the worse. At least I know to run to the lav or my dorm room and not make a spectacle of myself."
Cho bit her lip; she wasn't being totally honest. The memories were still there, overwhelming her at times, and she hated herself for going to pieces, then hated herself for hating herself when it also meant denying what she and Cedric had meant to each other. So, for most of the rest of the week, she would more and more brutally force down her feelings, which only made the inevitable explosion even worse.
She found, though, that she needed less energy to keep things down during the meetings of the Army. Perhaps it was because she was too busy concentrating on the spells--or the teacher...
Cho let that daydream play through, as it had been doing more and more often, until she snapped herself back to her writing-desk. Not now, she scolded; later. She picked up her quill.
"Apart from that, the practices have gone very well, and I think next week's game will be a good one. By the way, could you walk down the Alley and mention the game to the old gentleman in Quality Quidditch Supplies? We were chatting a bit back before the World Cup, and I told him I'd let him know when I played next. Hard to believe that so much time has passed."
Time, she thought; time has nothing to do with it. When things happen, they happen in an instant, so that you could be chatting with someone you love in the morning and, by sundown...
It was starting again, and, damn it, she was the one who started it this time. She had to lay on her bed, clutching the pillow over her face to keep from screaming, for several minutes until it passed. Then she got up, hastily ended the scroll and tied it to Quan Yin's leg. She hardly felt the cold December air as she opened the window to let her owl out; or, if she did feel the cold, she felt it was somehow in harmony with her soul.
xxx
Saturday, December 14, dawned late, cold and gray. A haze of snow beyond the mountains blocked the sunlight, so that everyone in the castle seemed to be running late. As Cho walked to the Great Hall for breakfast, she noticed that McGonagall had finally posted the list on the message board: the list of which students would stay in the castle over the holidays.
Harry was on it, and his friend Ron. Granger wasn't. Good, Cho thought; Harry could do with some time away from Granger. Cho believed it to be true, even if she wasn't sure why.
Most of the rest of her team was already at the Ravenclaw table; the new Chasers, Bradley and Chambers, were missing, but they followed Cho in only a minute later.
As Cho buttered a piece of toast, Roger Davies stood up and walked over to her. "Are you sure you won't have problems with this?"
"As hard as we've trained for this? Why would you think I'd have problems now?" Cho's voice was civil enough, but her eyes flared. She could count the matches she'd actually played on one hand, and here Roger was trying to keep her off playing! What was he thinking?
Roger got the message and backed away. The other Ravenclaws kept glancing between the two. The rest of breakfast was silent.
One by one they drifted out of the Great Hall; they would meet up again at half past ten in the Common Room, then go over to the stadium. Cho went over to the library, took out a few books on Tibetan magic for her Sixth Year seminar class on International Magic, returned to her dorm and sat on her bed; not reading, not thinking, not doing anything.
Just before it was time to leave, Raina rushed into the room to trade her cloak for something warmer. "Oh; didn't know you were here. Going to win it for us today?" she said pleasantly.
Cho half-smiled. She had counted Raina as a friend since their First Year. They were, after all, juggling the culture of Hogwarts, of the ancient arts of Merlin, with the traditions of other countries. It wasn't always easy, and they had supported each other--until now. Raina's father had warned her to avoid crossing Umbridge, and Raina knew that Cho would never respect the Inquisitor--not unless the Ministry changed its story about what happened to Cedric.
But now... Cho could never tell Raina about the Army, even if she thought she would have done well in it. Maybe they could be friends again; just not yet.
"I'm not thinking about the match," Cho answered Raina. "I'm thinking about the year. We're getting the Cup back."
"I know you can do it." Raina walked over to Cho, took her hand, squeezed it, then turned and left, as if she was afraid of something.
Cho sighed; she knew it wasn't Raina's fault, or even her father's. This was just one more crime to lay at the tiny feet of Dolores Jane Umbridge. Cho saw that it was time; she walked down to the Common Room.
xxx
"Right-o, Hogwarts, and welcome!"
Lee Jordan's voice had deepened in two years, but his style was pretty much the same.
"Hope you're all bundled up with Thermal Charms at the ready. The weather is cold today, but don't worry about the players, because they'll keep things plenty hot on the pitch!"
Cho waited in the Ravenclaw changing room for Lee to announce them. Roger was talking, but it was something he'd said a dozen times that week already. She'd tuned him out.
"First, we have the team from Hufflepuff!"
As he announced the line-up, copying the way it had been done at the World Quidditch Cup, Cho braced herself for the last name, the team Seeker: "And Summerby!"
She'd been holding her breath, and then let it out when she heard the name. It wasn't his name, she knew it wouldn't be his.
"And now, the team that held the Cup until Gryffindor got it, and I'm sure they want it back: the team from Ravenclaw!"
Cho shouldered her Comet Two Sixty and stood at the end of the line as her team walked onto the pitch:
"Davies! Bradley! Chambers! Becksnee! Jenkins! Millbanks! And Chang!"
Cho was staring at Hugo Millbanks' shoulder-blades right in front of her. She wanted to wait as long as she could before turning her head and looking...anywhere. At the stands, at the Hufflepuffs...
She felt Hooch's whistle rather than heard it, and kicked up into the air out of reflex. It wasn't until she was airborne that she noticed the Hufflepuff team had changed their uniforms slightly: the players each had the initials CD sewn onto their left sleeves.
No less than he deserves, Cho thought, but it's not going to bother me. I won't let it bother me; I won't! She tore her eyes away, and, more bitter than sorrowful, began her Seeking.
She did allow herself a few seconds, however, to scan the crowd. She couldn't miss the faculty in their box, the banners brought by the Ravenclaws, or Lovegood, whose head this time sported a rampant eagle with a Snitch in its beak. But she also scanned the Gryffindors. Harry wasn't there. Surely Umbridge's ban doesn't extend to being a spectator? No; he's probably in no mood to watch what he can't have. Still, I wish he were here to see me...
She shook that distracting thought out of her head, then noticed a banner in the Hufflepuff stands: MAKE CEDRIC PROUD!
No you won't, Cho thought, her anger rising again. That's my job! I'll make Cedric proud of ME! And, thinking she saw the Snitch, flew off.
Most of the time the match wasn't exactly close, but not for lack of trying on Hufflepuff's part. Zacharias Smith and Susan Bones in particular made life miserable for the Ravenclaw Keeper as they kept charging the rings, playing more agressively than the team had in recent memory. Millbanks, meanwhile, used everything he had to protect the rings: arms, feet, head, the broom itself. He started to flag at the thirty-minute mark, letting in goals that should have been stopped. The Beaters, too, had underestimated Hufflepuff, using too much power too soon, and their Bludger work was getting sloppy.
All this registered at the back fo Cho's mind, and she knew there was no more time to waste. Twice already she'd caught herself woolgathering during the match, comparing Summerby to Cedric, or Harry, and not Seeking out the Golden Snitch. Twice she saw it, but across the field, both times in the middle of a scrum of Chasers. By the time she'd gotten close enough, it had zipped away out of sight. The only consolation was that Summerby, who had taken to shadowing her, hadn't been able to do anything about it either.
At the forty-two minute mark, she saw it. She spiraled up, cautiously looking behind to see if Summerby was in her wake. When she saw that he was, she suddenly turned, diving past him, headed for the Snitch at the foot of the Ravenclaw goalposts.
Before she could reach it, the Snitch bolted straight up; Cho changed course to follow it. She dodged first one Hufflepuff Bludger, then another; the way was clear. Then, coming straight at her, she saw the Hufflepuff Seeker--
and, for an instant, she saw Cedric's face.
NO! her mind screamed. HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!
With her eyes squeezed tight shut, she reached out--
and grabbed the Snitch.
"Ravenclaw wins it!" She barely heard Jordan shouting. "A brilliant effort by Hufflepuff, but it all comes down to the Snitch, and with a stellar grab by Cho Chang, the final score is Ravenclaw 250, Hufflepuff 100!"
Cho had willed herself to do nothing but get the Golden Snitch; now that she had it, there was nothing left. Her mind was almost completely blank as she settled onto the pitch. She was immediately mobbed by the team, who were mobbed in turn by the spectators.
"That was brilliant!" Jenkins gushed as he grabbed her hands in both of his. Cho was half-afraid he would pick her up off the ground, but at that moment Millbanks turned her around to face him.
"Great catch, Cho," he smiled; "you pulled us out of the Devil's Snare that time."
"Miss Chang!" She turned back; Madam Hooch was behind her, her hand out. Cho gave her the Snitch; as soon as she did, Hooch broke out into a broad smile. "I've been waiting for you to show us what you had in you, and you surely did. Excellent flying."
Little else registered with her after those words, and she hardly noticed as one Ravenclaw, then another, tried to press through the crowd to congratulate her. Roger, who hadn't yet said a word to her, had to raise his hand and shout: "You know that you can say all this in the Common Room, where it isn't so damn cold!"
The others laughed and let the team get to the changing rooms. They tossed compliments and criticisms back and forth. Cho said nothing to anyone, and, when Roger Davies left to return to the castle, he still hadn't said a word to Cho.
She waited until she was the last in the changing room. It was satisfying to have won her first Quidditch match, and to hear Madam Hooch's words of praise, but she still wished the Gryffindor Seeker had been there to watch.
When she left to return to the castle, a man was waiting for her. An old man, wearing a sweater in Hufflepuff yellow and black. Then she noticed the faded patch on the front, of a wasp with rampant stinger, and remembered that Wimbourne's Quidditch team shared Hufflepuff's colours.
She momentarily blanked out on the name, untli the old man spoke: "Didn't expect old Gridpipe, did ye?"
"Oh! I mean, I asked my mother to mention the match to you. I just wasn't sure that she did."
"Well, she did, and it was a pleasure watching youngsters play the game again. There's something there that the professionals lose, somewhere along the way. But you, you're near professional yourself. That was a fine bit of flying."
Cho shook her head. "No; no, it wasn't. I was off my game. I was being distracted, thinking about other things. I wasn't playing with my head."
"Oh, I could see that, right enough," Gridpipe smiled. "But you played with your heart, and that's the important thing."
Cho didn't know what to say for a minute. Thern she found her voice: "Are you, er, coming to the castle?"
"Nope, afraid not. Love to see the old pile of rubble, but what's the point? Most of the folks I knew there are gone now: Dippet, Santorelle, Kettleburn. Dumbledore's there, of course, isn't he?" Cho nodded, but Gridpipe went right along: "Sharp as a dragon's fang he was, although he'd come up with the odd remark. I don't suppose old Grubbly-Plank is still around?"
"She is, in fact. Substitutes for other teachers, mostly."
"Well, you make sure to listen to her, Miss Chang. She knows more than any two of the young professors put together. Barely deserve the name, most of the lot." He stopped talking and thought for a moment. "What's today?"
"Er, Saturday the fourteenth."
"Ah, yes. Well, I've got some business in town, so I'll probably spend the night in the Three Broomsticks and take tomorrow's train. Are you coming home for the holidays?"
"Yes, I am."
"I reckon I'll see you then. Thanks again for telling me about the game, and I don't care what you say: you're still one of the best fliers I've seen. Well, better get going now." Without another word or gesture, Gridpipe turned on his heel and walked toward Hogsmeade.
Cho walked back to the castle, slowly and quietly. She was working hard at containing herself, and she was successful until she entered Hogwarts. The first thing she heard were students talking and laughing over the rattle of lunch dishes. Suddenly, it was all too much for Cho. She rushed into the nearest girls' lavatory, sat herself in one of the stalls, and started crying again.
After a couple of minutes, Moaning Myrtle glided through the stall door. "Reckon you lost, then?"
Cho didn't answer for a minute. When she answered, it was between sobs. "No, we won."
"Funny way to show it, then."
"You don't understand!" Cho yelled at Myrtle, crying all the while. "I was awful! I'm not flying like I used to. I'm losing touch; I'm losing--everything." Again, she broke down into sobbing. "I almost gave the whole game away. Nobody'll care because I caught the Snitch, but I know better. And Roger knows better. I just know he's going to throw me off the team!"
Again Cho's crying was undisturbed for a few minutes. Then Myrtle puit her hands on her ghostly hips: "This is all about your Cedric, isn't it?"
"It is," Cho sniffled, "and it isn't."
"Fine; don't tell me. Poor old Myrtle takes the time to listen, and nobody ever considers her--"
"Stop that!" Cho took a deep breath. "I know he's dead, even though I still love him more than I can say. But I know I have to move on, and ... I have."
"You mean Potter."
Cho's red eyes went wide. "What--how much do you know--"
"From what I've heard, it's hard to miss."
Cho looked down at her nails. "He seems to have missed it."
"Look, he may be the Boy Who Lived, but that still makes him a boy. They say girls mature faster; well, it only seems that way, because most boys are so awfully thick!" Myrtle gave a ghostly chuckle. "What I've seen these last few decades..."
"Myrtle, I'm sorry, but I'd better get back now." Cho wiped her eyes on her robes, then went to wash her face in the sink. Didn't help much, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. "Myrtle? What should I do?"
"About Potter?" Cho nodded. "Just do what you were going to do anyway. If it works out, good on you. If it doesn't, it might still give the rest of us a bit of a giggle."
Horrid girl, Cho thought; she deserved to die. Cho turned away from Myrtle and left the lavatory.
The door of the furthest stall opened, and out stepped Hermione Granger, a very concerned look on her face.
xxx
to be continued in part 18, wherein Cho hears Roger's verdict on her flying and spends thirty minutes with Harry...
By monkeymouse
NB: JKRowling built the Potterverse; I'm just redecorating one of the rooms. And one of the great things about JKR telling the story from Harry's point of view is that stuff could be happening all over Hogwarts that Harry isn't aware of.
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Everything
xxx
17. A Seeker Once Again
"Right-o, Hogwarts, and welcome!"
xxx
The weeks between November 2 and December 14 were cold and quiet for Cho, broken only by her terrors over Cedric and Quidditch practice and lessons from Harry.
The Ravenclaw team worked harder than ever after Umbridge's Edict #25 banning Harry and the Weasley twins from Quidditch for life. Perhaps Roger Davies was half-afraid that she might change her mind and let them back on the team, or that McGonagall would find a way. Perhaps he was afraid that Ravenclaw House would be the next to lose players. In any event, he took to lecturing the team almost daily about not stepping out of line, not getting involved in anything "the least bit dicey," as he put it, and definitely not crossing Umbridge.
Cho didn't care; she'd been crossing Umbridge by being part of the Army, and she was going to keep on. She checked the enchanted Galleon, noted the times and dates for each meeting, and was among the first there, taking in Harry and all that he had to teach.
Before one lesson, Zacharias Smith, a Chaser on the Hufflepuff team, asked about changing schedules just before the match. Cho studied Harry's face carefully, but, if he were upset about having to talk Quidditch after what had happened to him, he gave no sign. You're made of stronger stuff than I am, Cho sighed to herself. Being banned would kill me.
Then it was off on another round of learning Hexes and Charms. She had little trouble picking up the Somnambula Sleeping Charm, but the following week she was all thumbs at the Obliteration Charm--until Harry stopped to work it through with her. She didn't say a word for the rest of the lesson, but smiled more broadly than she had since last June. She was still smiling when she left the Room of Requirement, rubbing her wand hand, remembering how it felt when Harry adjusted her grip.
It was ... nice. It didn't send shivers and waves and fog through her, the way Cedric had, but there was definitely something there. And she knew that it would be pleasant to find out what it was...
xxx
Maybe part of it was the relief of knowing that she wouldn't have to think of Harry as an opponent. She'd hated the idea that, just as they seemed to be drawing closer in the Defense courses, they'd have to contend with each other as opposing Seekers for the Quidditch Cup. As bad as Cho felt about Harry's punishment, she couldn't help but be a bit pleased at the way things had worked out.
Meanwhile, she didn't have any trouble thinking of the Hufflepuffs as a team to beat. Even though Davies worked them nearly to ribbons at practice, the consensus was that Hufflepuff's team wouldn't be much different from past years, and that Summerby, the new Seeker, was hardly a replacement.
They would never say who Summerby replaced, especially if Cho was within earshot. The other players had all decided that, for Cho's own good, they wouldn't mention the name of Cedric Diggory, for fear of setting her off.
Except that Cho knew; she couldn't help but notice. She'd be talking strategy with Roger, or Hugo Millbanks the new Keeper, when all of a sudden their sentences would take some strange grammatical turn quite off the subject. "Quite right," Millbanks said one time, "all we have to is keep, er, um, the way clear for you to get the Snitch." They were even afraid to say "Hufflepuff Seeker" now. Cho hated them for treading so lightly around her; then she realized that they were doing it out of consideration for her feelings, which made her hate herself instead. As a result, she avoided the team off the pitch as much as possible.
She explained all of this in a scroll home one week before the match, as she sat alone in her dormitory room. "Mummy, it is so frustrating I can't stand it! I know what they're doing better than they do! They want to spare me having to think about Cedric--as if I still don't think of him anyway! This way, by tip-toeing around the subject, it just becomes all the more obvious. And if I manage to concentrate on the match, or studies, or something else, then their silence just ends up reminding me of Cedric.
"As for that--I wish I had better news to report to you and Daddy, but the dreams keep on, as horrid as ever. They seem to be somewhat fewer and farther apart, but still they strike me once or twice a week. And during my waking hours--I have tried and tried, Mummy, and I think I'm able to control things, push back the memories, and I'm getting better at it, but it's still merely avoiding the inevitable. And when I can't stop it, it just seems to burst out all the worse. At least I know to run to the lav or my dorm room and not make a spectacle of myself."
Cho bit her lip; she wasn't being totally honest. The memories were still there, overwhelming her at times, and she hated herself for going to pieces, then hated herself for hating herself when it also meant denying what she and Cedric had meant to each other. So, for most of the rest of the week, she would more and more brutally force down her feelings, which only made the inevitable explosion even worse.
She found, though, that she needed less energy to keep things down during the meetings of the Army. Perhaps it was because she was too busy concentrating on the spells--or the teacher...
Cho let that daydream play through, as it had been doing more and more often, until she snapped herself back to her writing-desk. Not now, she scolded; later. She picked up her quill.
"Apart from that, the practices have gone very well, and I think next week's game will be a good one. By the way, could you walk down the Alley and mention the game to the old gentleman in Quality Quidditch Supplies? We were chatting a bit back before the World Cup, and I told him I'd let him know when I played next. Hard to believe that so much time has passed."
Time, she thought; time has nothing to do with it. When things happen, they happen in an instant, so that you could be chatting with someone you love in the morning and, by sundown...
It was starting again, and, damn it, she was the one who started it this time. She had to lay on her bed, clutching the pillow over her face to keep from screaming, for several minutes until it passed. Then she got up, hastily ended the scroll and tied it to Quan Yin's leg. She hardly felt the cold December air as she opened the window to let her owl out; or, if she did feel the cold, she felt it was somehow in harmony with her soul.
xxx
Saturday, December 14, dawned late, cold and gray. A haze of snow beyond the mountains blocked the sunlight, so that everyone in the castle seemed to be running late. As Cho walked to the Great Hall for breakfast, she noticed that McGonagall had finally posted the list on the message board: the list of which students would stay in the castle over the holidays.
Harry was on it, and his friend Ron. Granger wasn't. Good, Cho thought; Harry could do with some time away from Granger. Cho believed it to be true, even if she wasn't sure why.
Most of the rest of her team was already at the Ravenclaw table; the new Chasers, Bradley and Chambers, were missing, but they followed Cho in only a minute later.
As Cho buttered a piece of toast, Roger Davies stood up and walked over to her. "Are you sure you won't have problems with this?"
"As hard as we've trained for this? Why would you think I'd have problems now?" Cho's voice was civil enough, but her eyes flared. She could count the matches she'd actually played on one hand, and here Roger was trying to keep her off playing! What was he thinking?
Roger got the message and backed away. The other Ravenclaws kept glancing between the two. The rest of breakfast was silent.
One by one they drifted out of the Great Hall; they would meet up again at half past ten in the Common Room, then go over to the stadium. Cho went over to the library, took out a few books on Tibetan magic for her Sixth Year seminar class on International Magic, returned to her dorm and sat on her bed; not reading, not thinking, not doing anything.
Just before it was time to leave, Raina rushed into the room to trade her cloak for something warmer. "Oh; didn't know you were here. Going to win it for us today?" she said pleasantly.
Cho half-smiled. She had counted Raina as a friend since their First Year. They were, after all, juggling the culture of Hogwarts, of the ancient arts of Merlin, with the traditions of other countries. It wasn't always easy, and they had supported each other--until now. Raina's father had warned her to avoid crossing Umbridge, and Raina knew that Cho would never respect the Inquisitor--not unless the Ministry changed its story about what happened to Cedric.
But now... Cho could never tell Raina about the Army, even if she thought she would have done well in it. Maybe they could be friends again; just not yet.
"I'm not thinking about the match," Cho answered Raina. "I'm thinking about the year. We're getting the Cup back."
"I know you can do it." Raina walked over to Cho, took her hand, squeezed it, then turned and left, as if she was afraid of something.
Cho sighed; she knew it wasn't Raina's fault, or even her father's. This was just one more crime to lay at the tiny feet of Dolores Jane Umbridge. Cho saw that it was time; she walked down to the Common Room.
xxx
"Right-o, Hogwarts, and welcome!"
Lee Jordan's voice had deepened in two years, but his style was pretty much the same.
"Hope you're all bundled up with Thermal Charms at the ready. The weather is cold today, but don't worry about the players, because they'll keep things plenty hot on the pitch!"
Cho waited in the Ravenclaw changing room for Lee to announce them. Roger was talking, but it was something he'd said a dozen times that week already. She'd tuned him out.
"First, we have the team from Hufflepuff!"
As he announced the line-up, copying the way it had been done at the World Quidditch Cup, Cho braced herself for the last name, the team Seeker: "And Summerby!"
She'd been holding her breath, and then let it out when she heard the name. It wasn't his name, she knew it wouldn't be his.
"And now, the team that held the Cup until Gryffindor got it, and I'm sure they want it back: the team from Ravenclaw!"
Cho shouldered her Comet Two Sixty and stood at the end of the line as her team walked onto the pitch:
"Davies! Bradley! Chambers! Becksnee! Jenkins! Millbanks! And Chang!"
Cho was staring at Hugo Millbanks' shoulder-blades right in front of her. She wanted to wait as long as she could before turning her head and looking...anywhere. At the stands, at the Hufflepuffs...
She felt Hooch's whistle rather than heard it, and kicked up into the air out of reflex. It wasn't until she was airborne that she noticed the Hufflepuff team had changed their uniforms slightly: the players each had the initials CD sewn onto their left sleeves.
No less than he deserves, Cho thought, but it's not going to bother me. I won't let it bother me; I won't! She tore her eyes away, and, more bitter than sorrowful, began her Seeking.
She did allow herself a few seconds, however, to scan the crowd. She couldn't miss the faculty in their box, the banners brought by the Ravenclaws, or Lovegood, whose head this time sported a rampant eagle with a Snitch in its beak. But she also scanned the Gryffindors. Harry wasn't there. Surely Umbridge's ban doesn't extend to being a spectator? No; he's probably in no mood to watch what he can't have. Still, I wish he were here to see me...
She shook that distracting thought out of her head, then noticed a banner in the Hufflepuff stands: MAKE CEDRIC PROUD!
No you won't, Cho thought, her anger rising again. That's my job! I'll make Cedric proud of ME! And, thinking she saw the Snitch, flew off.
Most of the time the match wasn't exactly close, but not for lack of trying on Hufflepuff's part. Zacharias Smith and Susan Bones in particular made life miserable for the Ravenclaw Keeper as they kept charging the rings, playing more agressively than the team had in recent memory. Millbanks, meanwhile, used everything he had to protect the rings: arms, feet, head, the broom itself. He started to flag at the thirty-minute mark, letting in goals that should have been stopped. The Beaters, too, had underestimated Hufflepuff, using too much power too soon, and their Bludger work was getting sloppy.
All this registered at the back fo Cho's mind, and she knew there was no more time to waste. Twice already she'd caught herself woolgathering during the match, comparing Summerby to Cedric, or Harry, and not Seeking out the Golden Snitch. Twice she saw it, but across the field, both times in the middle of a scrum of Chasers. By the time she'd gotten close enough, it had zipped away out of sight. The only consolation was that Summerby, who had taken to shadowing her, hadn't been able to do anything about it either.
At the forty-two minute mark, she saw it. She spiraled up, cautiously looking behind to see if Summerby was in her wake. When she saw that he was, she suddenly turned, diving past him, headed for the Snitch at the foot of the Ravenclaw goalposts.
Before she could reach it, the Snitch bolted straight up; Cho changed course to follow it. She dodged first one Hufflepuff Bludger, then another; the way was clear. Then, coming straight at her, she saw the Hufflepuff Seeker--
and, for an instant, she saw Cedric's face.
NO! her mind screamed. HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!
With her eyes squeezed tight shut, she reached out--
and grabbed the Snitch.
"Ravenclaw wins it!" She barely heard Jordan shouting. "A brilliant effort by Hufflepuff, but it all comes down to the Snitch, and with a stellar grab by Cho Chang, the final score is Ravenclaw 250, Hufflepuff 100!"
Cho had willed herself to do nothing but get the Golden Snitch; now that she had it, there was nothing left. Her mind was almost completely blank as she settled onto the pitch. She was immediately mobbed by the team, who were mobbed in turn by the spectators.
"That was brilliant!" Jenkins gushed as he grabbed her hands in both of his. Cho was half-afraid he would pick her up off the ground, but at that moment Millbanks turned her around to face him.
"Great catch, Cho," he smiled; "you pulled us out of the Devil's Snare that time."
"Miss Chang!" She turned back; Madam Hooch was behind her, her hand out. Cho gave her the Snitch; as soon as she did, Hooch broke out into a broad smile. "I've been waiting for you to show us what you had in you, and you surely did. Excellent flying."
Little else registered with her after those words, and she hardly noticed as one Ravenclaw, then another, tried to press through the crowd to congratulate her. Roger, who hadn't yet said a word to her, had to raise his hand and shout: "You know that you can say all this in the Common Room, where it isn't so damn cold!"
The others laughed and let the team get to the changing rooms. They tossed compliments and criticisms back and forth. Cho said nothing to anyone, and, when Roger Davies left to return to the castle, he still hadn't said a word to Cho.
She waited until she was the last in the changing room. It was satisfying to have won her first Quidditch match, and to hear Madam Hooch's words of praise, but she still wished the Gryffindor Seeker had been there to watch.
When she left to return to the castle, a man was waiting for her. An old man, wearing a sweater in Hufflepuff yellow and black. Then she noticed the faded patch on the front, of a wasp with rampant stinger, and remembered that Wimbourne's Quidditch team shared Hufflepuff's colours.
She momentarily blanked out on the name, untli the old man spoke: "Didn't expect old Gridpipe, did ye?"
"Oh! I mean, I asked my mother to mention the match to you. I just wasn't sure that she did."
"Well, she did, and it was a pleasure watching youngsters play the game again. There's something there that the professionals lose, somewhere along the way. But you, you're near professional yourself. That was a fine bit of flying."
Cho shook her head. "No; no, it wasn't. I was off my game. I was being distracted, thinking about other things. I wasn't playing with my head."
"Oh, I could see that, right enough," Gridpipe smiled. "But you played with your heart, and that's the important thing."
Cho didn't know what to say for a minute. Thern she found her voice: "Are you, er, coming to the castle?"
"Nope, afraid not. Love to see the old pile of rubble, but what's the point? Most of the folks I knew there are gone now: Dippet, Santorelle, Kettleburn. Dumbledore's there, of course, isn't he?" Cho nodded, but Gridpipe went right along: "Sharp as a dragon's fang he was, although he'd come up with the odd remark. I don't suppose old Grubbly-Plank is still around?"
"She is, in fact. Substitutes for other teachers, mostly."
"Well, you make sure to listen to her, Miss Chang. She knows more than any two of the young professors put together. Barely deserve the name, most of the lot." He stopped talking and thought for a moment. "What's today?"
"Er, Saturday the fourteenth."
"Ah, yes. Well, I've got some business in town, so I'll probably spend the night in the Three Broomsticks and take tomorrow's train. Are you coming home for the holidays?"
"Yes, I am."
"I reckon I'll see you then. Thanks again for telling me about the game, and I don't care what you say: you're still one of the best fliers I've seen. Well, better get going now." Without another word or gesture, Gridpipe turned on his heel and walked toward Hogsmeade.
Cho walked back to the castle, slowly and quietly. She was working hard at containing herself, and she was successful until she entered Hogwarts. The first thing she heard were students talking and laughing over the rattle of lunch dishes. Suddenly, it was all too much for Cho. She rushed into the nearest girls' lavatory, sat herself in one of the stalls, and started crying again.
After a couple of minutes, Moaning Myrtle glided through the stall door. "Reckon you lost, then?"
Cho didn't answer for a minute. When she answered, it was between sobs. "No, we won."
"Funny way to show it, then."
"You don't understand!" Cho yelled at Myrtle, crying all the while. "I was awful! I'm not flying like I used to. I'm losing touch; I'm losing--everything." Again, she broke down into sobbing. "I almost gave the whole game away. Nobody'll care because I caught the Snitch, but I know better. And Roger knows better. I just know he's going to throw me off the team!"
Again Cho's crying was undisturbed for a few minutes. Then Myrtle puit her hands on her ghostly hips: "This is all about your Cedric, isn't it?"
"It is," Cho sniffled, "and it isn't."
"Fine; don't tell me. Poor old Myrtle takes the time to listen, and nobody ever considers her--"
"Stop that!" Cho took a deep breath. "I know he's dead, even though I still love him more than I can say. But I know I have to move on, and ... I have."
"You mean Potter."
Cho's red eyes went wide. "What--how much do you know--"
"From what I've heard, it's hard to miss."
Cho looked down at her nails. "He seems to have missed it."
"Look, he may be the Boy Who Lived, but that still makes him a boy. They say girls mature faster; well, it only seems that way, because most boys are so awfully thick!" Myrtle gave a ghostly chuckle. "What I've seen these last few decades..."
"Myrtle, I'm sorry, but I'd better get back now." Cho wiped her eyes on her robes, then went to wash her face in the sink. Didn't help much, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. "Myrtle? What should I do?"
"About Potter?" Cho nodded. "Just do what you were going to do anyway. If it works out, good on you. If it doesn't, it might still give the rest of us a bit of a giggle."
Horrid girl, Cho thought; she deserved to die. Cho turned away from Myrtle and left the lavatory.
The door of the furthest stall opened, and out stepped Hermione Granger, a very concerned look on her face.
xxx
to be continued in part 18, wherein Cho hears Roger's verdict on her flying and spends thirty minutes with Harry...