OR DIE TRYING: CHO CHANG'S SIXTH YEAR
By monkeymouse
NB: JKRowling built the Potterverse; I'm just redecorating one of the rooms. And one of the great things about JKR telling the story from Harry's point of view is that stuff could be happening all over Hogwarts that Harry isn't aware of.
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Everything
xxx
18. The Room of Requirement
By the time she got to the west wing of the castle, Cho felt more composed, but anxiety was also growing in her. Her stomach felt full of pixies; pixies with many tiny but very sharp teeth. She knew the Common Room would be full to overflowing with well-wishers, congratulating her on her win. Snacks and butterbeer would be shoved toward her, she might even have to make a speech...
Or perhaps the others wouldn't speak to her at all, because of her tears and moodiness; being an island in a sea of reveling Ravenclaws would be the worst feeling, as if she didn't belong regardless of catching the Snitch. Besides, in the past twelve months she had found herself attached to two different boys--very different, but she had wanted each of them to see her get her first win. But one hadn't been there to see it, and the other could no longer see anything at all...
Before she won this, her first winning match, she would have reveled in the attention, in being a House celebrity. Not now.
She stopped by the hospital wing to take a few deep breaths. She had cried herself out in Moaning Myrtle's loo just now, but she wanted to compose herself anyway. She wasn't about to break down in front of the entire House.
As she climbed the broad, curving staircase in the West Tower that led to the gigantic tapestry of the goddess Athena, behind which lay Ravenclaw House, she realized that she still didn't know what would happen, but decided to brave it out regardless. She readied the week's password "euphonious" on her lips...
Roger Davies.
He was standing next to the tapestry, leaning casually against the wall, not looking at anything in particular. But Cho knew he was waiting for her.
"Keeping out the party-crashers, then?" Cho asked first.
Roger pointed up the stairs with his head. "Step over here for a bit, please."
For a second, Cho couldn't move at all. This is it, she thought, I'm off the team. She swallowed, then followed Roger up the steps until they were out of sight of the tapestry.
As soon as they were, Roger turned to her. "Right, then; let's have it."
"Have what?"
"The explanation."
Cho looked down at her feet and spoke barely above a whisper. "There is no explanation. I'll go tell Madam Hooch now; best to do it quick."
"Tell her what?"
"That I'm off the team."
"You are no such a thing!" Cho looked up to see that Roger was beaming. "You won the match for us! What kind of a sausage are you?"
"But, but we both know I was awful today! I almost lost the match! I wasn't concentrating, I wasn't--"
Roger held up a hand to silence Cho. "If you know all that already," he smiled, "there's no need for me to say it all again, is there?"
Cho couldn't believe it. She felt sure that Roger would tear into her like a hungry hippogriff, and now--
"Look, Cho," he interrupted her thoughts, "I'm your Captain, but also your friend. Everyone knew your first match back would be rough. Practices just aren't the same as the crowds, the noise, the whole non-stop chaos of it all. And when we saw we'd be playing Hufflepuff first, well... I can't imagine what was going through your mind, and I don't think I want to. You showed more courage than most just getting out there today; that you flew as well as you did was a bloody miracle."
"Roger--"
"Not another word! You can run yourself down later, but you're not about to ruin the party for the House. So, are you ready for your second ordeal of the day: three cheers and a glass of punch?"
Cho almost laughed in spite of herself. Roger could still do that to her, but this was the first time he'd tried to make her laugh since the Tournament. "Ready as I'll ever be," she smiled at him.
They walked back to the tapestry, then passed under it and into Ravenclaw House.
xxx
With the Christmas holidays approaching, the faculty generally ignored lessons. There were always exceptions, like Binns (if death couldn't shake him loose from the syllabus, why should a holiday?) and Snape (who seemed to be the dead opposite of "tidings of comfort and joy"). But others like Flitwick, Idylwyld, Sinistra and even McGonagall relented, letting their young charges revert to being the children that they were.
Cho didn't count Dark Arts with Umbridge, since all she did in Umbridge's class anyway was reread her Chinese notes about Dumbledore's Army, and daydream about her green-eyed teacher... Umbridge would be on the last day of the term, Friday the 20th, and the next day she'd be on the Hogwarts Express going home.
But there was, according to the enchanted Galleon in her pocket, one more meeting of the Army: Wednesday night at 8.
xxx
Cho and Marietta were among the last ones to arrive at the room. Marietta was writing a last scroll home before the break, and Cho didn't want to go up without her. As Cho came to love the meetings more and more, Marietta seemed more and more put out by them. It was only her obligation as Cho's Prefect that kept her going. Cho was worried that, after the New Year, Marietta would stop altogether.
Shortly after they arrived, Harry announced that the meeting would be a review session. Zacharias Smith, as usual, complained, and one of the Weasley twins made a joke of it. Cho laughed, delighted that Smith had been defeated twice in one week: on the Quidditch pitch and now here in the class.
They practiced Impediments, Stunning, Disarming--all of the defensive spells they'd worked on since October. Cho kept telling Marietta that she had quite improved; Marietta didn't mention it, but Cho herself had also improved--well, so had many of the students there. As they rested after a Stunning session, Cho looked around the room. It wasn't just about magic any longer, she realized; she was feeling something toward everyone there: an unexpected cameraderie. It wasn't just learning the spells together; it was knowing that they were all--even know-all Granger and malcontent Smith and the bizarre Luna Lovegood--they were all part of something larger. Maybe they were an Army after all, Cho thought, formed to do battle with Voldemort...
"It's time, Cho," Marietta urged, tugging at Cho's sleeve.
"No, you go on," she replied. There was something she'd meant to say for months now, and this was the last chance to say it before the holidays...
Marietta had a scowl on her face. "Be quick about it," she whispered harshly to Cho as she left the classroom.
Soon they were the last two in the room, as Cho had wanted, and perhaps as Harry wanted, too, because he was fussing about with the cushions. How strange the world is, Cho thought. This time last year, I was a friend of Cedric's, nothing more, and I waited and waited for Harry to ask me to the Yule Ball, but Cedric asked first, and--
It was happening again, but this time she didn't try to stop it. It wasn't just about Cedric being dead; it was also about Harry being alive, and her heart caught between them--
She knew her eyes were tearing and her nose was running, but she held off until she couldn't hold off any longer and sniffled, trying to clear her nose. She knew she looked a fright now, but she saw the concern on Harry's face as he asked, "What--what's up?"
Cho wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robes. "I'm sorry. I suppose it's ... just ... learning all this stuff. It just makes me wonder ... whether ... if he'd known it all, he'd still be alive."
As soon as she said it, she was sorry. She remembered what Harry'd said in Hogsmeade that day; that he didn't want to talk about Cedric. It was probably still true. But, before Cho could apologize, Harry answered her:
"He did know this stuff. He was really good at it, or he could never have got to the middle of that maze. But if Voldemort really wants to kill you, you don't stand a chance."
"You survived, when you were just a baby." Cho mentally punched herself in the head. Damn Ravenclaw; you want to TALK with him, not find the logic holes in his arguments!
Harry just sighed, as if he was thoroughly tired of being the Boy Who Lived. "Yeah, well, I don't know why; nor does anyone else, so it's nothing to be proud of." He turned toward the door.
"Oh, don't go!" You have to stop him! Cho yelled within herself. You have to get this back on the broom. Tell him you're not just another fan of the Boy Who Lived! Her tears started up again, but these were tears of frustration; finally, she was talking one-on-one with Harry, and it was all falling apart. "I'm really sorry to get all upset like this; I didn't mean to." Again she tried to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. "I know it must be horrible for you, me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die. I suppose you just want to forget about it."
Drop the subject! she yelled to herself. He didn't want to talk about Cedric in October; he doesn't want to now! SHUT UP ABOUT CEDRIC!
But Harry didn't move. Cho had expected a flash of the anger he showed at the Hog's Head. Instead he just stood there, facing toward the door but not moving.
Tell him, Cho; tell him how you feel!
"You're a really good teacher, you know," Cho said, smiling and half afraid of how silly she looked, smiling through red eyes and a tear-streaked face. "I've never been able to Stun anything before."
She fretted about the words even as they left her mouth, not knowing how Harry would take the compliment. Fortunately, he just looked down at his trainers, one of which seemed to be tracing patterns on the floor. Then, he looked up with those amazing green eyes, smiled slightly and said a barely audible "Thanks."
Cho's smile got fractionally larger as she looked at Harry, at the face that, even four years on, still looked childlike, still looked the way he did when she snuck into the hospital wing to see him during his First Year.
She looked up; it had only just caught her eye, but Harry was standing under a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. She'd learned more than she ever wanted to learn about it in Third Year Herbology, and surely so did Harry: that it was believed to bestow fertility and feelings of peace, and was a protection against poison, that warring nations and battling lovers could find reconciliation under its influence. Then there was the old magic that a woman, standing under mistletoe and being kissed, would find either true love or deep and abiding friendship. Well, Harry was the one standing under it, but this was no time to stand on ceremony.
She pointed up at the ceiling and her smile widened just a little bit more. "Mistletoe," she said, barely above a whisper.
Harry hardly looked up, as if he'd known all along it was there. "Yeah. It's probably full of nargles, though."
What?? "What are nargles?" Cho took a step forward, half-expecting to see the mistletoe infested with some sort of bizarre insect.
"No idea," Harry shrugged. "You'd have to ask Loony." Cho must have frowned; no matter how eccentric Lovegood was--and she was certainly eccentric enough to believe in non-existent bugs called nargles--she didn't deserve to be insulted. But Harry must have been paying attention to Cho's expression, because he quickly corrected himself: "Luna, I mean."
That's better, she thought; I never thought you were mean-spirited. The way I thought about those badges last year and Cedric--
Damn it, I'm doing it again! Here I am with Harry, under mistletoe! It's what I've wanted for so long; why am I afraid? And--why does he seem just as afraid as I am?
Cho tried to speak, but seemed to choke on her latest bout of tears. She took another step toward Harry. She saw herself now reflected in his glasses, and saw those impossibly green eyes...
Say it! Say it!!
"I--really like you, Harry..." She wanted to say more, wanted to tell him how many years he had been in her heart, how she regretted not saying something sooner--and knew that, if she kept talking, she'd never stop.
So she kissed Harry.
Nothing; it was like kissing a toad.
Cho half-sobbed, half-coughed right on Harry's lips, breaking the kiss. She crumpled to her knees on the cold stone floor, unable to stop crying, only saying over and over, between sobs, "I'm sorry, Harry; I'm so sorry."
Ravenclaw; wit and learning. And here I am, the biggest damned fool in the castle! How could I dare to think it? How could I dare to hope that Harry feels something for me? Anything at all?
She stayed that way for a few minutes; she'd lost all track of time. She didn't even notice when Harry knelt on the floor beside her. But, as soon as she felt the touch of his hand, hesitant and nervous, between her shoulderblades, she let out an even louder howl, grabbed tightly onto the front of Harry's robes, and rested her sobbing head on his chest. Her mind and her heart just kept shouting out the same joyous phrase:
He cares! He cares!
At first his hand on her back felt awkward, tapping it the way a young child would pet a cat or dog. But then, after a while, the hand stayed still on her back, then began to lightly rub it. Cho's tears began to subside; she took deep breaths and gradually calmed down.
She looked into Harry's face again. He was concerned; concerned for her; she could see it. She gulped, sniffled. "I must look a fright..."
"No!" Harry interrupted her, a little too loudly. Then he seemed to Cho to catch himself, looking at her again as if for the first time in his life. He repeated, more softly this time, "No, never."
Cho wiped her eyes with the back of her hand now, not bothering with the robes' sleeves, which were damp with her tears anyway. "Harry," she started hesitantly, "you don't, I mean, do you think we could..." Her voice trailed off. She didn't have to finish it; Harry knew what she meant.
Neither Harry nor Cho took the lead; thery moved together toward another kiss. This time their lips met, and stayed together, for almost a minute. They parted as softly and slowly as they had come together. Cho kept looking either at her hands in her lap, or at Harry's eyes. After a while, she said, simply, "Well."
And Harry said, simply, "Yeh."
Cho reached forward, her hand slipping neatly, welcomingly, into Harry's hand, their fingers twining. They smiled, slightly, shyly.
"It..." Cho started to speak, but had to clear her throat. She lowered her voice, which sounded so loud in the empty room. "It's going to be lonely here over the break, I'm sure."
"What...what do you mean?"
"You're staying here for the holidays, aren't you?"
Harry shook his head. "What makes you say that?"
"Your name is on the list."
"Oh, that! It slipped my mind when McGonagall was taking names, but my friend Ron--you know, our new Keeper--he asked me to stay with his family."
"Ah. That should be nice."
"Yeh. The whole family's nice, well, pretty much."
"Are the twins as rough off the pitch as they are on?"
"Oh, worse, a couple of non-stop jokers. Well, you've seen them in the class here."
"Yes." They stayed on the floor, holding hands, sitting silently for another minute. "So, where do they live?"
"A place down in Devon. They live over near the Diggorys and..." Harry froze, terror on his face. He must have expected Cho to burst into tears again, or at least shout at him.
Instead, she took a deep breath, still looking down at their hands. "I'm all right, Harry," she said quietly.
"Oh, okay," he said, just as quietly. They stayed seated for another minute.
"So," Cho finally said, "maybe we can sit together on the train."
It took Harry a minute to answer; he seemed to be weighing what his friends would think about that. But then he smiled at Cho: "Yeah, I'd like that."
Harry looked down at their hands; then Cho realized that he was looking at his watch. The class had ended more than twenty minutes ago!
"Um," Harry said, "maybe we'd better..."
"Yes," Cho nodded, "of course."
They didn't seem to like the idea of letting go of each other, but they did, and stepped out of the Room of Requirement and into the corridor. They started toward opposite ends of the corridor; both staircases would get them to their Houses, but one was closer to Ravenclaw and the other closer to Gryffindor. But Cho had taken no more than three paces toward her staircase when she stopped and turned toward Harry. He had stopped, too, and was just standing there. Cho smiled, bit her lower lip, then walked over to Harry, her hand twining with his again. They walked down the staircase holding hands.
On the fourth floor landing they passed a portrait of Havelock Sweeting, one of the very few wizards to domesticate unicorns. He stood with his arm around the neck of his favorite filly, Amalthea, and watched Harry and Cho pass, saying just loud enough for them to hear, "Now isn't that a pretty picture?"
Cho didn't dare look at him, yet couldn't help but smile.
Harry stopped at the second floor landing. "I'm afraid I have to..." he started.
"I know," she smiled. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek; she seemed to catch him by surprise, because he didn't return the kiss until a second later. "I'll see you around, Harry."
"Yeh, me too."
Cho smiled and walked down the corridor, looking frequently over her shoulder back at Harry, until she had to turn a corner.
That was--different, Cho mused as she walked toward Ravenclaw. It certainly wasn't at all like kissing Cedric; with him, the kisses were all fog and sensation, leading her into a world she had never experienced before. With Harry, that world wasn't so overwhelming; actually, it too was unlike anything she had ever experienced.
All she knew was that she would gladly explore this new world--with Harry Potter.
As she walked into the Common Room, there was Marietta, reading in a comfy chair. "Is this what you call being quick about it?" she asked Cho. She clearly disapproved of whatever had happened.
Cho simply smiled, turned, and all but ran up the steps to her dormitory.
xxx
to be continued in part 19, wherein Cho goes home for Christmas, and receives some unexpected presents...
By monkeymouse
NB: JKRowling built the Potterverse; I'm just redecorating one of the rooms. And one of the great things about JKR telling the story from Harry's point of view is that stuff could be happening all over Hogwarts that Harry isn't aware of.
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Everything
xxx
18. The Room of Requirement
By the time she got to the west wing of the castle, Cho felt more composed, but anxiety was also growing in her. Her stomach felt full of pixies; pixies with many tiny but very sharp teeth. She knew the Common Room would be full to overflowing with well-wishers, congratulating her on her win. Snacks and butterbeer would be shoved toward her, she might even have to make a speech...
Or perhaps the others wouldn't speak to her at all, because of her tears and moodiness; being an island in a sea of reveling Ravenclaws would be the worst feeling, as if she didn't belong regardless of catching the Snitch. Besides, in the past twelve months she had found herself attached to two different boys--very different, but she had wanted each of them to see her get her first win. But one hadn't been there to see it, and the other could no longer see anything at all...
Before she won this, her first winning match, she would have reveled in the attention, in being a House celebrity. Not now.
She stopped by the hospital wing to take a few deep breaths. She had cried herself out in Moaning Myrtle's loo just now, but she wanted to compose herself anyway. She wasn't about to break down in front of the entire House.
As she climbed the broad, curving staircase in the West Tower that led to the gigantic tapestry of the goddess Athena, behind which lay Ravenclaw House, she realized that she still didn't know what would happen, but decided to brave it out regardless. She readied the week's password "euphonious" on her lips...
Roger Davies.
He was standing next to the tapestry, leaning casually against the wall, not looking at anything in particular. But Cho knew he was waiting for her.
"Keeping out the party-crashers, then?" Cho asked first.
Roger pointed up the stairs with his head. "Step over here for a bit, please."
For a second, Cho couldn't move at all. This is it, she thought, I'm off the team. She swallowed, then followed Roger up the steps until they were out of sight of the tapestry.
As soon as they were, Roger turned to her. "Right, then; let's have it."
"Have what?"
"The explanation."
Cho looked down at her feet and spoke barely above a whisper. "There is no explanation. I'll go tell Madam Hooch now; best to do it quick."
"Tell her what?"
"That I'm off the team."
"You are no such a thing!" Cho looked up to see that Roger was beaming. "You won the match for us! What kind of a sausage are you?"
"But, but we both know I was awful today! I almost lost the match! I wasn't concentrating, I wasn't--"
Roger held up a hand to silence Cho. "If you know all that already," he smiled, "there's no need for me to say it all again, is there?"
Cho couldn't believe it. She felt sure that Roger would tear into her like a hungry hippogriff, and now--
"Look, Cho," he interrupted her thoughts, "I'm your Captain, but also your friend. Everyone knew your first match back would be rough. Practices just aren't the same as the crowds, the noise, the whole non-stop chaos of it all. And when we saw we'd be playing Hufflepuff first, well... I can't imagine what was going through your mind, and I don't think I want to. You showed more courage than most just getting out there today; that you flew as well as you did was a bloody miracle."
"Roger--"
"Not another word! You can run yourself down later, but you're not about to ruin the party for the House. So, are you ready for your second ordeal of the day: three cheers and a glass of punch?"
Cho almost laughed in spite of herself. Roger could still do that to her, but this was the first time he'd tried to make her laugh since the Tournament. "Ready as I'll ever be," she smiled at him.
They walked back to the tapestry, then passed under it and into Ravenclaw House.
xxx
With the Christmas holidays approaching, the faculty generally ignored lessons. There were always exceptions, like Binns (if death couldn't shake him loose from the syllabus, why should a holiday?) and Snape (who seemed to be the dead opposite of "tidings of comfort and joy"). But others like Flitwick, Idylwyld, Sinistra and even McGonagall relented, letting their young charges revert to being the children that they were.
Cho didn't count Dark Arts with Umbridge, since all she did in Umbridge's class anyway was reread her Chinese notes about Dumbledore's Army, and daydream about her green-eyed teacher... Umbridge would be on the last day of the term, Friday the 20th, and the next day she'd be on the Hogwarts Express going home.
But there was, according to the enchanted Galleon in her pocket, one more meeting of the Army: Wednesday night at 8.
xxx
Cho and Marietta were among the last ones to arrive at the room. Marietta was writing a last scroll home before the break, and Cho didn't want to go up without her. As Cho came to love the meetings more and more, Marietta seemed more and more put out by them. It was only her obligation as Cho's Prefect that kept her going. Cho was worried that, after the New Year, Marietta would stop altogether.
Shortly after they arrived, Harry announced that the meeting would be a review session. Zacharias Smith, as usual, complained, and one of the Weasley twins made a joke of it. Cho laughed, delighted that Smith had been defeated twice in one week: on the Quidditch pitch and now here in the class.
They practiced Impediments, Stunning, Disarming--all of the defensive spells they'd worked on since October. Cho kept telling Marietta that she had quite improved; Marietta didn't mention it, but Cho herself had also improved--well, so had many of the students there. As they rested after a Stunning session, Cho looked around the room. It wasn't just about magic any longer, she realized; she was feeling something toward everyone there: an unexpected cameraderie. It wasn't just learning the spells together; it was knowing that they were all--even know-all Granger and malcontent Smith and the bizarre Luna Lovegood--they were all part of something larger. Maybe they were an Army after all, Cho thought, formed to do battle with Voldemort...
"It's time, Cho," Marietta urged, tugging at Cho's sleeve.
"No, you go on," she replied. There was something she'd meant to say for months now, and this was the last chance to say it before the holidays...
Marietta had a scowl on her face. "Be quick about it," she whispered harshly to Cho as she left the classroom.
Soon they were the last two in the room, as Cho had wanted, and perhaps as Harry wanted, too, because he was fussing about with the cushions. How strange the world is, Cho thought. This time last year, I was a friend of Cedric's, nothing more, and I waited and waited for Harry to ask me to the Yule Ball, but Cedric asked first, and--
It was happening again, but this time she didn't try to stop it. It wasn't just about Cedric being dead; it was also about Harry being alive, and her heart caught between them--
She knew her eyes were tearing and her nose was running, but she held off until she couldn't hold off any longer and sniffled, trying to clear her nose. She knew she looked a fright now, but she saw the concern on Harry's face as he asked, "What--what's up?"
Cho wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robes. "I'm sorry. I suppose it's ... just ... learning all this stuff. It just makes me wonder ... whether ... if he'd known it all, he'd still be alive."
As soon as she said it, she was sorry. She remembered what Harry'd said in Hogsmeade that day; that he didn't want to talk about Cedric. It was probably still true. But, before Cho could apologize, Harry answered her:
"He did know this stuff. He was really good at it, or he could never have got to the middle of that maze. But if Voldemort really wants to kill you, you don't stand a chance."
"You survived, when you were just a baby." Cho mentally punched herself in the head. Damn Ravenclaw; you want to TALK with him, not find the logic holes in his arguments!
Harry just sighed, as if he was thoroughly tired of being the Boy Who Lived. "Yeah, well, I don't know why; nor does anyone else, so it's nothing to be proud of." He turned toward the door.
"Oh, don't go!" You have to stop him! Cho yelled within herself. You have to get this back on the broom. Tell him you're not just another fan of the Boy Who Lived! Her tears started up again, but these were tears of frustration; finally, she was talking one-on-one with Harry, and it was all falling apart. "I'm really sorry to get all upset like this; I didn't mean to." Again she tried to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. "I know it must be horrible for you, me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die. I suppose you just want to forget about it."
Drop the subject! she yelled to herself. He didn't want to talk about Cedric in October; he doesn't want to now! SHUT UP ABOUT CEDRIC!
But Harry didn't move. Cho had expected a flash of the anger he showed at the Hog's Head. Instead he just stood there, facing toward the door but not moving.
Tell him, Cho; tell him how you feel!
"You're a really good teacher, you know," Cho said, smiling and half afraid of how silly she looked, smiling through red eyes and a tear-streaked face. "I've never been able to Stun anything before."
She fretted about the words even as they left her mouth, not knowing how Harry would take the compliment. Fortunately, he just looked down at his trainers, one of which seemed to be tracing patterns on the floor. Then, he looked up with those amazing green eyes, smiled slightly and said a barely audible "Thanks."
Cho's smile got fractionally larger as she looked at Harry, at the face that, even four years on, still looked childlike, still looked the way he did when she snuck into the hospital wing to see him during his First Year.
She looked up; it had only just caught her eye, but Harry was standing under a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. She'd learned more than she ever wanted to learn about it in Third Year Herbology, and surely so did Harry: that it was believed to bestow fertility and feelings of peace, and was a protection against poison, that warring nations and battling lovers could find reconciliation under its influence. Then there was the old magic that a woman, standing under mistletoe and being kissed, would find either true love or deep and abiding friendship. Well, Harry was the one standing under it, but this was no time to stand on ceremony.
She pointed up at the ceiling and her smile widened just a little bit more. "Mistletoe," she said, barely above a whisper.
Harry hardly looked up, as if he'd known all along it was there. "Yeah. It's probably full of nargles, though."
What?? "What are nargles?" Cho took a step forward, half-expecting to see the mistletoe infested with some sort of bizarre insect.
"No idea," Harry shrugged. "You'd have to ask Loony." Cho must have frowned; no matter how eccentric Lovegood was--and she was certainly eccentric enough to believe in non-existent bugs called nargles--she didn't deserve to be insulted. But Harry must have been paying attention to Cho's expression, because he quickly corrected himself: "Luna, I mean."
That's better, she thought; I never thought you were mean-spirited. The way I thought about those badges last year and Cedric--
Damn it, I'm doing it again! Here I am with Harry, under mistletoe! It's what I've wanted for so long; why am I afraid? And--why does he seem just as afraid as I am?
Cho tried to speak, but seemed to choke on her latest bout of tears. She took another step toward Harry. She saw herself now reflected in his glasses, and saw those impossibly green eyes...
Say it! Say it!!
"I--really like you, Harry..." She wanted to say more, wanted to tell him how many years he had been in her heart, how she regretted not saying something sooner--and knew that, if she kept talking, she'd never stop.
So she kissed Harry.
Nothing; it was like kissing a toad.
Cho half-sobbed, half-coughed right on Harry's lips, breaking the kiss. She crumpled to her knees on the cold stone floor, unable to stop crying, only saying over and over, between sobs, "I'm sorry, Harry; I'm so sorry."
Ravenclaw; wit and learning. And here I am, the biggest damned fool in the castle! How could I dare to think it? How could I dare to hope that Harry feels something for me? Anything at all?
She stayed that way for a few minutes; she'd lost all track of time. She didn't even notice when Harry knelt on the floor beside her. But, as soon as she felt the touch of his hand, hesitant and nervous, between her shoulderblades, she let out an even louder howl, grabbed tightly onto the front of Harry's robes, and rested her sobbing head on his chest. Her mind and her heart just kept shouting out the same joyous phrase:
He cares! He cares!
At first his hand on her back felt awkward, tapping it the way a young child would pet a cat or dog. But then, after a while, the hand stayed still on her back, then began to lightly rub it. Cho's tears began to subside; she took deep breaths and gradually calmed down.
She looked into Harry's face again. He was concerned; concerned for her; she could see it. She gulped, sniffled. "I must look a fright..."
"No!" Harry interrupted her, a little too loudly. Then he seemed to Cho to catch himself, looking at her again as if for the first time in his life. He repeated, more softly this time, "No, never."
Cho wiped her eyes with the back of her hand now, not bothering with the robes' sleeves, which were damp with her tears anyway. "Harry," she started hesitantly, "you don't, I mean, do you think we could..." Her voice trailed off. She didn't have to finish it; Harry knew what she meant.
Neither Harry nor Cho took the lead; thery moved together toward another kiss. This time their lips met, and stayed together, for almost a minute. They parted as softly and slowly as they had come together. Cho kept looking either at her hands in her lap, or at Harry's eyes. After a while, she said, simply, "Well."
And Harry said, simply, "Yeh."
Cho reached forward, her hand slipping neatly, welcomingly, into Harry's hand, their fingers twining. They smiled, slightly, shyly.
"It..." Cho started to speak, but had to clear her throat. She lowered her voice, which sounded so loud in the empty room. "It's going to be lonely here over the break, I'm sure."
"What...what do you mean?"
"You're staying here for the holidays, aren't you?"
Harry shook his head. "What makes you say that?"
"Your name is on the list."
"Oh, that! It slipped my mind when McGonagall was taking names, but my friend Ron--you know, our new Keeper--he asked me to stay with his family."
"Ah. That should be nice."
"Yeh. The whole family's nice, well, pretty much."
"Are the twins as rough off the pitch as they are on?"
"Oh, worse, a couple of non-stop jokers. Well, you've seen them in the class here."
"Yes." They stayed on the floor, holding hands, sitting silently for another minute. "So, where do they live?"
"A place down in Devon. They live over near the Diggorys and..." Harry froze, terror on his face. He must have expected Cho to burst into tears again, or at least shout at him.
Instead, she took a deep breath, still looking down at their hands. "I'm all right, Harry," she said quietly.
"Oh, okay," he said, just as quietly. They stayed seated for another minute.
"So," Cho finally said, "maybe we can sit together on the train."
It took Harry a minute to answer; he seemed to be weighing what his friends would think about that. But then he smiled at Cho: "Yeah, I'd like that."
Harry looked down at their hands; then Cho realized that he was looking at his watch. The class had ended more than twenty minutes ago!
"Um," Harry said, "maybe we'd better..."
"Yes," Cho nodded, "of course."
They didn't seem to like the idea of letting go of each other, but they did, and stepped out of the Room of Requirement and into the corridor. They started toward opposite ends of the corridor; both staircases would get them to their Houses, but one was closer to Ravenclaw and the other closer to Gryffindor. But Cho had taken no more than three paces toward her staircase when she stopped and turned toward Harry. He had stopped, too, and was just standing there. Cho smiled, bit her lower lip, then walked over to Harry, her hand twining with his again. They walked down the staircase holding hands.
On the fourth floor landing they passed a portrait of Havelock Sweeting, one of the very few wizards to domesticate unicorns. He stood with his arm around the neck of his favorite filly, Amalthea, and watched Harry and Cho pass, saying just loud enough for them to hear, "Now isn't that a pretty picture?"
Cho didn't dare look at him, yet couldn't help but smile.
Harry stopped at the second floor landing. "I'm afraid I have to..." he started.
"I know," she smiled. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek; she seemed to catch him by surprise, because he didn't return the kiss until a second later. "I'll see you around, Harry."
"Yeh, me too."
Cho smiled and walked down the corridor, looking frequently over her shoulder back at Harry, until she had to turn a corner.
That was--different, Cho mused as she walked toward Ravenclaw. It certainly wasn't at all like kissing Cedric; with him, the kisses were all fog and sensation, leading her into a world she had never experienced before. With Harry, that world wasn't so overwhelming; actually, it too was unlike anything she had ever experienced.
All she knew was that she would gladly explore this new world--with Harry Potter.
As she walked into the Common Room, there was Marietta, reading in a comfy chair. "Is this what you call being quick about it?" she asked Cho. She clearly disapproved of whatever had happened.
Cho simply smiled, turned, and all but ran up the steps to her dormitory.
xxx
to be continued in part 19, wherein Cho goes home for Christmas, and receives some unexpected presents...