Business Cards: Chapter 1
A/N: This story, even though it's in chapters, it's meant to be a plot equal to one episode of Friends, maybe a super size episode. This is also my first Friends fan fiction, so go easy! Thanks!
Phoebe and Ross were walking down the street to Central Perk, all dressed up in their warmest clothes, as it was the dead of winter and below zero with the wind chill.
They walked into central perk and sat down on the sofa next to Rachel, who was feeding Emma warm milk.
"Oh, thanks for coming, guys," Rachel said looking up, while Ross and Phoebe took off their coats and put them on the back of the sofa.
"No problem, Rach," Phoebe said, gesturing to the counter clerk to come over. "I'll risk a few toes to FROSTBITE cause you need advice or something for EMMA!"
"Oh, Phoebe!" Rachel scolded sarcastically, "You aren't gonna get frostbite. I wanted you all to come over here because." she paused and looked around. "Joey isn't here!"
"Oh, Rachel, Joey isn't useful," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes. "Everyone knows that!"
"Phoebe!" Ross finally joined the conversation. "He may not be the smartest guy in the world, but." he paused. "Never mind. Continue."
"Ok, PHOEBE to the rescue again. Since Monica and Chandler are out of town and Joey isn't here, we'll help."
Rachel continued feeding Emma. "Thanks. Now, what I wanted was some advice on something Emma's been doing. Ross, she's been VOMITING everything I give her! Joey isn't always around, so I need some advice."
"Ooh! This reminds me of a song I wrote!" Phoebe cried, standing up and picking up her guitar. "Here it goes!"
"Does the cat feel nice
Don't cut it with a knife
All it did was vomit on the couch!
The vomit left a mark
It's shaped like a shark
Pretty Kitty!
The kitty is so cute
Don't throw it down the chute
ALL IT DID IS VOMIT ON THE COUCH!
The kitty has blue eyes
It will answer all your cries
Hateful owner!
It says meow
It's like Sonic's little Chao
Pretty Kitty
Forgive it without a slap
Like the time it went crap
On your be-ed.
PREEE-TEEEEE-KI-T-EEEEEEEEEEE!!"
The song would have been embarrassing enough if everyone in the coffee house wasn't staring at them.
"Thank you, thank you!" Phoebe bowed.
Then, a rather ugly-looking waitress walked toward them. "Hi. I'm the new waitress, bus boy, et cetra. I don't care if I say that wrong. Umm, FowBee, or whatever, the guy at the counter said you wanted something."
Phoebe set her guitar down and sat back on the sofa. "It's Pheee-beeee. Phoebe. I want a coffee, black original, PEEZZ," answered Phoebe, obviously not liking this fat worker.
Then the woman saw Ross. She batted her lashes and put on an obviously fake French accent. "Bon jour, guyzee. I'm Jennif- I mean, I'm JohniVoir" (If you're wondering, her name is Jennifer, but she tried to make it more French-sounding by making it John-iv-why-er). "Whood woo vike anyfing, umm.."
"Ross," Ross answered, rolling his eyes. "And sure. Can you get me and Rachel one of those new..oh, what're they called. oh yeah, De Ja Vu Gourmet coffees?"
Jennifer batted her lashes for the hundredths time. "Shhhhure, sweevy." She answered flirtingly. She walked back to the counter to get the coffees.
Phoebe and Rachel leaned toward Ross, fighting back urges to burst out laughing.
Phoebe decided to make fun. "Oooooooooh, she's in LOVE with who? YOU!! Fat bus boy and little Rossy.. I'd hate to see the deformed body of your kids."
Ross scolded. "Hey, nothing's gonna happen between us. No way!"
Jennifer returned with the three coffees. First she gave Phoebe a bonus glare with her coffee, then Rachel (Ross and Phoebe couldn't see if she got a glare, too.) Then she got to Ross.
"Jey, Zweeeteeeee," She said, applying her fake accent again. "Herez ur coffee, Rozzy. Anz, zum. can I have zur phone numzer?"
Joey had walked in right when she gave Ross the coffee, and now he was mouthing, somehow urgently, 'No! Uh uh! NOO!'
Ross was confused; he DEFINITELY didn't want to go out with THIS girl; yet he was such a kindhearted guy and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
So he gave her his phone number.
A/N: This story, even though it's in chapters, it's meant to be a plot equal to one episode of Friends, maybe a super size episode. This is also my first Friends fan fiction, so go easy! Thanks!
Phoebe and Ross were walking down the street to Central Perk, all dressed up in their warmest clothes, as it was the dead of winter and below zero with the wind chill.
They walked into central perk and sat down on the sofa next to Rachel, who was feeding Emma warm milk.
"Oh, thanks for coming, guys," Rachel said looking up, while Ross and Phoebe took off their coats and put them on the back of the sofa.
"No problem, Rach," Phoebe said, gesturing to the counter clerk to come over. "I'll risk a few toes to FROSTBITE cause you need advice or something for EMMA!"
"Oh, Phoebe!" Rachel scolded sarcastically, "You aren't gonna get frostbite. I wanted you all to come over here because." she paused and looked around. "Joey isn't here!"
"Oh, Rachel, Joey isn't useful," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes. "Everyone knows that!"
"Phoebe!" Ross finally joined the conversation. "He may not be the smartest guy in the world, but." he paused. "Never mind. Continue."
"Ok, PHOEBE to the rescue again. Since Monica and Chandler are out of town and Joey isn't here, we'll help."
Rachel continued feeding Emma. "Thanks. Now, what I wanted was some advice on something Emma's been doing. Ross, she's been VOMITING everything I give her! Joey isn't always around, so I need some advice."
"Ooh! This reminds me of a song I wrote!" Phoebe cried, standing up and picking up her guitar. "Here it goes!"
"Does the cat feel nice
Don't cut it with a knife
All it did was vomit on the couch!
The vomit left a mark
It's shaped like a shark
Pretty Kitty!
The kitty is so cute
Don't throw it down the chute
ALL IT DID IS VOMIT ON THE COUCH!
The kitty has blue eyes
It will answer all your cries
Hateful owner!
It says meow
It's like Sonic's little Chao
Pretty Kitty
Forgive it without a slap
Like the time it went crap
On your be-ed.
PREEE-TEEEEE-KI-T-EEEEEEEEEEE!!"
The song would have been embarrassing enough if everyone in the coffee house wasn't staring at them.
"Thank you, thank you!" Phoebe bowed.
Then, a rather ugly-looking waitress walked toward them. "Hi. I'm the new waitress, bus boy, et cetra. I don't care if I say that wrong. Umm, FowBee, or whatever, the guy at the counter said you wanted something."
Phoebe set her guitar down and sat back on the sofa. "It's Pheee-beeee. Phoebe. I want a coffee, black original, PEEZZ," answered Phoebe, obviously not liking this fat worker.
Then the woman saw Ross. She batted her lashes and put on an obviously fake French accent. "Bon jour, guyzee. I'm Jennif- I mean, I'm JohniVoir" (If you're wondering, her name is Jennifer, but she tried to make it more French-sounding by making it John-iv-why-er). "Whood woo vike anyfing, umm.."
"Ross," Ross answered, rolling his eyes. "And sure. Can you get me and Rachel one of those new..oh, what're they called. oh yeah, De Ja Vu Gourmet coffees?"
Jennifer batted her lashes for the hundredths time. "Shhhhure, sweevy." She answered flirtingly. She walked back to the counter to get the coffees.
Phoebe and Rachel leaned toward Ross, fighting back urges to burst out laughing.
Phoebe decided to make fun. "Oooooooooh, she's in LOVE with who? YOU!! Fat bus boy and little Rossy.. I'd hate to see the deformed body of your kids."
Ross scolded. "Hey, nothing's gonna happen between us. No way!"
Jennifer returned with the three coffees. First she gave Phoebe a bonus glare with her coffee, then Rachel (Ross and Phoebe couldn't see if she got a glare, too.) Then she got to Ross.
"Jey, Zweeeteeeee," She said, applying her fake accent again. "Herez ur coffee, Rozzy. Anz, zum. can I have zur phone numzer?"
Joey had walked in right when she gave Ross the coffee, and now he was mouthing, somehow urgently, 'No! Uh uh! NOO!'
Ross was confused; he DEFINITELY didn't want to go out with THIS girl; yet he was such a kindhearted guy and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
So he gave her his phone number.