Business Cards: Chapter 2
Rachel and Phoebe were paralyzed, staring at Ross.
"WHAT?!" Joey yelled, running over to Ross. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Jennifer ignored him. "Heyzas, Rozzy, I'm goin zome nows. Wanna.. come wif me?"
Joey had had enough. "LOOK, FAT GIRL! ROSS, NOT ROZZY, DOESN'T WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU, DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANNA GO HOME WITH A FAT BUS BOY, AND LASTLY, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU TORTURE HIM! HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE YOU HIS PHONE NUMBER, HE'S JUST TOO KIND TO SAY NO! OH, AND P.S, WE CAN TELL YOUR ACCENT IS FAKE! NOW SCRAM!
Jennifer was speechless. Her mouth hung open as she tried to think of a comeback. Finally she ran out the door, got in her SUV, and sped off toward the west hill
"Wow," Ross said, standing up. "I can't believe you could do that! Oh, umm.. I soooo wish I could say no. I mean, everything said no, I mean, she's soooo ugly, soooooooooooooo fat, fake accent, and you could tell she was a total brat that just wants a date."
Joey sat down. "Nothing to it, really. I just figure, if they wanna eat 100 pounds of food a day and be mean, they deserve it."
"I think I'll have to use a different strategy."
"I'll say," Phoeby cut in, and took a sip of coffee. "I mean, you couldn't say no to a brown cow it it asked you to get a drink."
Ross was just about to object when Rachel cut in.
"As much fun as listening to debates is, I still need to find out what to do about Emma"
Joey looked confused. "What?"
Phoebe rolled her eyes. "If you must know, Emma is throwing up everything she's fed while you're out on Broadway and soap opera shootings."
"OOOOOH," Joey said mysteriously. "That explains the weird taste of my relish."
"EEEW!"
"EEEEEW!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWIIIIIIIIIIE!"
"Okay, I didn't need to hear that," Rachel said, rubbing her forehead. "Anyone know what I could do?"
Ross looked thoughtful. "I don't know what to do, but there's a new pediatrician in the area that just moved here from Norway. He might know what to do. I hear he was the best health expert in Norway."
"Yeah, I heard that, too," Phoebe chimed in. "I wrote a song about him!"
"Umm, I think you'd better not.."
Phoebe picked up her guitar again, and yelled, "EVERYONE, LISTEN! I'M GONNA SING ANOTHER SONG!"
Everyone in the coffee house groaned. One even left.
"Here it goes!"
Mr. Health guy is in the town
And he wears a homemade baby-bottle crown
He helps sick kids with the flu
He is so great but he has not a clue
If a kid throws up he knows what to do
If he doesn't I'm not afraid to sue
He has throat pops and sore back pills
He may even have an evil pill that knows how to kill
This guy has come here from far away Norway
To help people visiting SoreBackSickWay
He does not take a break until the job is done
If he ever does I'll squeeze his bun."
"You know, I gotta go look up that Norwegian doctor," Rachel said, quickly gathering her things.
"I'll go with you, I think I remember his name," Ross said hastily, doing the same as Rachel and gathering his things.
"Aupicin, I mean, I'm late for an audition," Joey cried, not wanting to hear another song.
"HEY! EVERYONE, WAIT!" Phoebe yelled after them, and ran out the door.
Rachel and Phoebe were paralyzed, staring at Ross.
"WHAT?!" Joey yelled, running over to Ross. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Jennifer ignored him. "Heyzas, Rozzy, I'm goin zome nows. Wanna.. come wif me?"
Joey had had enough. "LOOK, FAT GIRL! ROSS, NOT ROZZY, DOESN'T WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU, DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANNA GO HOME WITH A FAT BUS BOY, AND LASTLY, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU TORTURE HIM! HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE YOU HIS PHONE NUMBER, HE'S JUST TOO KIND TO SAY NO! OH, AND P.S, WE CAN TELL YOUR ACCENT IS FAKE! NOW SCRAM!
Jennifer was speechless. Her mouth hung open as she tried to think of a comeback. Finally she ran out the door, got in her SUV, and sped off toward the west hill
"Wow," Ross said, standing up. "I can't believe you could do that! Oh, umm.. I soooo wish I could say no. I mean, everything said no, I mean, she's soooo ugly, soooooooooooooo fat, fake accent, and you could tell she was a total brat that just wants a date."
Joey sat down. "Nothing to it, really. I just figure, if they wanna eat 100 pounds of food a day and be mean, they deserve it."
"I think I'll have to use a different strategy."
"I'll say," Phoeby cut in, and took a sip of coffee. "I mean, you couldn't say no to a brown cow it it asked you to get a drink."
Ross was just about to object when Rachel cut in.
"As much fun as listening to debates is, I still need to find out what to do about Emma"
Joey looked confused. "What?"
Phoebe rolled her eyes. "If you must know, Emma is throwing up everything she's fed while you're out on Broadway and soap opera shootings."
"OOOOOH," Joey said mysteriously. "That explains the weird taste of my relish."
"EEEW!"
"EEEEEW!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWIIIIIIIIIIE!"
"Okay, I didn't need to hear that," Rachel said, rubbing her forehead. "Anyone know what I could do?"
Ross looked thoughtful. "I don't know what to do, but there's a new pediatrician in the area that just moved here from Norway. He might know what to do. I hear he was the best health expert in Norway."
"Yeah, I heard that, too," Phoebe chimed in. "I wrote a song about him!"
"Umm, I think you'd better not.."
Phoebe picked up her guitar again, and yelled, "EVERYONE, LISTEN! I'M GONNA SING ANOTHER SONG!"
Everyone in the coffee house groaned. One even left.
"Here it goes!"
Mr. Health guy is in the town
And he wears a homemade baby-bottle crown
He helps sick kids with the flu
He is so great but he has not a clue
If a kid throws up he knows what to do
If he doesn't I'm not afraid to sue
He has throat pops and sore back pills
He may even have an evil pill that knows how to kill
This guy has come here from far away Norway
To help people visiting SoreBackSickWay
He does not take a break until the job is done
If he ever does I'll squeeze his bun."
"You know, I gotta go look up that Norwegian doctor," Rachel said, quickly gathering her things.
"I'll go with you, I think I remember his name," Ross said hastily, doing the same as Rachel and gathering his things.
"Aupicin, I mean, I'm late for an audition," Joey cried, not wanting to hear another song.
"HEY! EVERYONE, WAIT!" Phoebe yelled after them, and ran out the door.