A/N sorry for the wait on this one. Its quite long and it deals with a lot
of serious subjects and emotions. The language gets a bit rough in the
middle but I feel that is a realistic depiction of how Gordo would be
feeling. I love all of your reviews and am very greatful for them (hacen's
in particular) Please continue reviewing, it's the only way I know if you
guys really want me to continue. And also please bear with me and these
transitional chapters. There is only one more before Lizzie wakes up. I
just really don't want to rush things. So here it is...chapter five...I hope
you guys enjoy.
~piggnaw
As the months accumulated things were pretty much at a standstill with Lizzie's condition. Gordo, Miranda, and the rest of the family still visited her regularly, although it was becoming more like a chore for most of them.
Mr.McGuire still rarely visited. He had been layed off from his job and sat around looking out of the parlor window almost all day. Sometimes Joe would catch him dreamily looking through Lizzie's beaded door frame, it was then that she felt the most pain for him. Since Sam had been laid off Joe had to start working at a local restaurant. Contrary to most waitresses, she hated large tips. She knew that they were only sympathy tips. Sometimes she heard hushed conversations about the "poor little McGuire girl". Usually when she heard stuff like that she wanted to throw the coffee she was carrying right into their faces. The only comfort she had been receiving during these hard months were from Lizzie's physician.
One night, almost a year exactly from the accident, Joe and Kelin went out to dinner, like they usually did on Friday nights. Kelin had decided to take Joe to Vivo's, a local Italian restaurant. They had ordered one of those huge platters of spaghetti and where slurping it up obnoxiously, just for fun of course. By the time they were done Jo's nose was covered in sauce. Kelin reached out with his napkin to dab it away. His eyes lingered as he removed the sauce from her beautiful face.
"Jo," He said, "You're beautiful." The last part was spoken almost in a whisper. Jo sat there for a moment, quite floored before blushing and muttering a quick thank you. Then he began to speak again.
"I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you. I know you're having some rough times, but I'm not going to let you go through them alone..." He paused as if he was unsure of himself and then said "I care about you. I care about you very much."
Jo then knew what Kelin was getting at. She knew she should be offended. She knew she had a wedding ring on her finger, but when she felt Kelin's hand on her leg she found it so hard to pull away from his grip. That night he asked her to join him at his apartment. If there was one thing Jo wanted more than anything, It was to spend the night in the arms of a man. She didn't even bother calling Sam.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Matt asked Melina. He brushed her blonde hair out of her face and gently kissed her forehead. They had been dating for quite some time now and she was really the only person he could talk to. He didn't need anyone if he had Melina. He had once had a wonderful family,but that had all gone to shit now. He had the love of his life and she had become his past present and future.
"Matt...I know it's what I want. I love you." With that she leaned in towards Matt and kissed him passionately on the lips. She rubbed her hand down his chest and Matt leaned in to her perfect body. He had wanted this for a long time. He was so glad that Melina was his first. When they were done he held her in his arms. She smelled like pomegranate and bubblegum. He decided that he had never smelled anything more lovely in his entire life.
June 15th arrived. The one year anniversary of Lizzie's accident. Everyone was going to meet up at the hospital, Kate had even requested a break from her work in Africa with the peace corps. Gordo, however arrived at the hospital an hour earlier than everyone else. His heart was pounding so hard that he could hear it beating steadily in his own head. His mouth was dry and his throat felt like it had been swabbed with cotton. He had a very hard task laid in front of him. He had to tell his best friend that he could no longer see her.
He walked into that room like he had walked into it so many times before. Sometimes lively and smiling with happiness to see her, and other times tears welled in his eyes as he watched Lizzie degenerate. The light that had once surrounded Lizzie, the light that had been inside of Lizzie, had been extinguished. She lay in her bed like always in that straight forward coffin like position, that for once, Gordo didn't feel like changing. Her face was slack and tight, due to a year without a laugh, frown, or furrowed brow. Her lips were chapped and dry, and her hair had become brown. This was no longer the Lizzie he knew. As he took all of this in a horrifying thought resonated through his brain. He no longer knew what color Lizzie's eyes were. The beautiful hazel that had once seemed so vivid and alive, even in his mind, was now unfathomable. A month ago if Gordo would've realized this he would've cried, he maybe even would've sat on her bed and tried to pry her eyes open, but he just wanted to get his business over with, and quick.
"Lizzie..." he said walking over to her bedside. He then paused, waiting for a reply that he had been anticipating for a year, but once again her mouth stayed shut.
"Look Lizzie, I can't do this anymore. You have a hold on me and that is not fair. I just want to be happy! Do you understand that! I just want to be happy GODDAMNIT! I can't keep coming here, looking at you, waiting for something that is never going to come back to me. I know that I love you, alright!? I fucking know it! It took me years and years to figure it out but now that I know it I HAVE to walk away...ALRIGHT!!! I finally found someone who wants to be with me...goddamnit Lizzie, do you know that Miranda told me she loved me the other day. And do you know that I couldn't say it back because im waiting for you to wake the hell up and come back to me. Everytime that I come here to see you I'm pushing Miranda away. I'm pushing my new life away. I'm sorry but I can't see you anymore. It's not like you're ever waking up anyways!!!"
this torrent of words erupted from David like a volcano. He half cried, half screamed these words that he had been waiting to say for months, But the thing that affected him the most was the last sentence he had shouted, unable to control himself he burst into tears and his screams began to fill the tiny room.
"ITS NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP ANYWAYS!!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD LIZZIE!!! YOU'RE DEAD AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYONE'S LIFE BECAUSE THEY ALL THINK YOU'RE GONNA PULL THROUGH BUT THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOUR EYES WILL EVER OPEN EVER AGAIN MCGUIRE....NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!"
With that final blow he fell to the chair beside the bed, manically sobbing into Lizzie's chest. "why did you do this to me...." He whispered. He lay there until the only noise coming from him was harsh breathing, sniffles, and the occasional hiccup. He glanced at his watch. Everyone would be here soon. He had to leave now or he knew that he never would.
As David Gordon left his best friend for the last time he bent over her bed and kissed her softly on the forehead "I Love you Elizabeth Brooke McGuire...and I'm truly, truly sorry." And with that he turned to leave before his emotions got a hold of him again.
Kelin Spence quickly readied himself for the most arduous task he had ever come across in his ten years of work in the medical field. Today he had to ask the woman he was dating, a woman he cared very deeply for, if she wanted her daughter to continue living. In his hand he held the permission forms, forms that if Jo and Sam signed, would cut Lizzie's life short once and for all.
As the months accumulated things were pretty much at a standstill with Lizzie's condition. Gordo, Miranda, and the rest of the family still visited her regularly, although it was becoming more like a chore for most of them.
Mr.McGuire still rarely visited. He had been layed off from his job and sat around looking out of the parlor window almost all day. Sometimes Joe would catch him dreamily looking through Lizzie's beaded door frame, it was then that she felt the most pain for him. Since Sam had been laid off Joe had to start working at a local restaurant. Contrary to most waitresses, she hated large tips. She knew that they were only sympathy tips. Sometimes she heard hushed conversations about the "poor little McGuire girl". Usually when she heard stuff like that she wanted to throw the coffee she was carrying right into their faces. The only comfort she had been receiving during these hard months were from Lizzie's physician.
One night, almost a year exactly from the accident, Joe and Kelin went out to dinner, like they usually did on Friday nights. Kelin had decided to take Joe to Vivo's, a local Italian restaurant. They had ordered one of those huge platters of spaghetti and where slurping it up obnoxiously, just for fun of course. By the time they were done Jo's nose was covered in sauce. Kelin reached out with his napkin to dab it away. His eyes lingered as he removed the sauce from her beautiful face.
"Jo," He said, "You're beautiful." The last part was spoken almost in a whisper. Jo sat there for a moment, quite floored before blushing and muttering a quick thank you. Then he began to speak again.
"I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you. I know you're having some rough times, but I'm not going to let you go through them alone..." He paused as if he was unsure of himself and then said "I care about you. I care about you very much."
Jo then knew what Kelin was getting at. She knew she should be offended. She knew she had a wedding ring on her finger, but when she felt Kelin's hand on her leg she found it so hard to pull away from his grip. That night he asked her to join him at his apartment. If there was one thing Jo wanted more than anything, It was to spend the night in the arms of a man. She didn't even bother calling Sam.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Matt asked Melina. He brushed her blonde hair out of her face and gently kissed her forehead. They had been dating for quite some time now and she was really the only person he could talk to. He didn't need anyone if he had Melina. He had once had a wonderful family,but that had all gone to shit now. He had the love of his life and she had become his past present and future.
"Matt...I know it's what I want. I love you." With that she leaned in towards Matt and kissed him passionately on the lips. She rubbed her hand down his chest and Matt leaned in to her perfect body. He had wanted this for a long time. He was so glad that Melina was his first. When they were done he held her in his arms. She smelled like pomegranate and bubblegum. He decided that he had never smelled anything more lovely in his entire life.
June 15th arrived. The one year anniversary of Lizzie's accident. Everyone was going to meet up at the hospital, Kate had even requested a break from her work in Africa with the peace corps. Gordo, however arrived at the hospital an hour earlier than everyone else. His heart was pounding so hard that he could hear it beating steadily in his own head. His mouth was dry and his throat felt like it had been swabbed with cotton. He had a very hard task laid in front of him. He had to tell his best friend that he could no longer see her.
He walked into that room like he had walked into it so many times before. Sometimes lively and smiling with happiness to see her, and other times tears welled in his eyes as he watched Lizzie degenerate. The light that had once surrounded Lizzie, the light that had been inside of Lizzie, had been extinguished. She lay in her bed like always in that straight forward coffin like position, that for once, Gordo didn't feel like changing. Her face was slack and tight, due to a year without a laugh, frown, or furrowed brow. Her lips were chapped and dry, and her hair had become brown. This was no longer the Lizzie he knew. As he took all of this in a horrifying thought resonated through his brain. He no longer knew what color Lizzie's eyes were. The beautiful hazel that had once seemed so vivid and alive, even in his mind, was now unfathomable. A month ago if Gordo would've realized this he would've cried, he maybe even would've sat on her bed and tried to pry her eyes open, but he just wanted to get his business over with, and quick.
"Lizzie..." he said walking over to her bedside. He then paused, waiting for a reply that he had been anticipating for a year, but once again her mouth stayed shut.
"Look Lizzie, I can't do this anymore. You have a hold on me and that is not fair. I just want to be happy! Do you understand that! I just want to be happy GODDAMNIT! I can't keep coming here, looking at you, waiting for something that is never going to come back to me. I know that I love you, alright!? I fucking know it! It took me years and years to figure it out but now that I know it I HAVE to walk away...ALRIGHT!!! I finally found someone who wants to be with me...goddamnit Lizzie, do you know that Miranda told me she loved me the other day. And do you know that I couldn't say it back because im waiting for you to wake the hell up and come back to me. Everytime that I come here to see you I'm pushing Miranda away. I'm pushing my new life away. I'm sorry but I can't see you anymore. It's not like you're ever waking up anyways!!!"
this torrent of words erupted from David like a volcano. He half cried, half screamed these words that he had been waiting to say for months, But the thing that affected him the most was the last sentence he had shouted, unable to control himself he burst into tears and his screams began to fill the tiny room.
"ITS NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP ANYWAYS!!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD LIZZIE!!! YOU'RE DEAD AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYONE'S LIFE BECAUSE THEY ALL THINK YOU'RE GONNA PULL THROUGH BUT THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOUR EYES WILL EVER OPEN EVER AGAIN MCGUIRE....NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!"
With that final blow he fell to the chair beside the bed, manically sobbing into Lizzie's chest. "why did you do this to me...." He whispered. He lay there until the only noise coming from him was harsh breathing, sniffles, and the occasional hiccup. He glanced at his watch. Everyone would be here soon. He had to leave now or he knew that he never would.
As David Gordon left his best friend for the last time he bent over her bed and kissed her softly on the forehead "I Love you Elizabeth Brooke McGuire...and I'm truly, truly sorry." And with that he turned to leave before his emotions got a hold of him again.
Kelin Spence quickly readied himself for the most arduous task he had ever come across in his ten years of work in the medical field. Today he had to ask the woman he was dating, a woman he cared very deeply for, if she wanted her daughter to continue living. In his hand he held the permission forms, forms that if Jo and Sam signed, would cut Lizzie's life short once and for all.