disclaimer: just fixin the mess Joss made

AN---these pics are what i'm talkin about in this fic:

and

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When she had asked him to hold her....he had agreed. She had simply wanted comfort, proof that something in her life was still solid. That someone still cared.

She didn't know when, but somewhere in the night, their positions had changed. They had started off with her head pillowed on his chest, taking comfort in the unneeded rise and fall of his cool chest. But at some time, his head wound up pressed against her breasts, purring as he listened to the steady thrum of her heartbeat.

She knew, as she stroked his hand and held the hand on her hip, that he was scared. Scared that she was going to go into this battle.....and not come back out.

He was truly frightened. For her. After all she'd put him through....the abuse.....the hate....

But he earned this. The love.

She had silently disentangled herself from his embrace, smiling as he whimpered and tried to bring her back. She had glanced around the abandoned room, eyes landing on a piece of paper and a pen. Picking up the writing implement, she had written a letter, explaining to him where she had gone.

She knew she shouldn't have left him there, all alone. But she had needed to go while the strength he had transferred to her still flowed in her. She knew he would bite her head off about it later that night......

.....but she knew that she would, sooner or later, once again find comfort in his embrace.

i Dear Spike,

What can I tell you but I'm sorry? Not for last night. No, that was wonderful. Thank you for comforting me. I'm sorry for all the things in the past.

But that's what they are. Past.

I'm sorry for all the things I said to you....and all the things I have yet to say.

Please.....please don't take my absence the wrong way. I needed to go. Not because of you, or me....

....but because of strength. You gave me strength. Strength to face the troops, and strength to find this weapon supposedly only made for me alone to wield, as you told me last night.

Last night....was incredible. Don't ever doubt that. You gave me comfort when I needed it, in a way different than last year. Last year, we were never tender. Never gave the possibility of love a chance.

But I'm willing, Spike.

Love,

Buffy /i

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THE

END

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