HOOBASTANK'S LYRICS TO:
THE REASON
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
By the time Stan reached Kyle's house, he thought his lungs would burst. He didn't bother knocking. He let himself in and closed the door. He just stood there in the living room. He took small, cautious steps forward, searching for the object of his desire.
"Stan." Kyle spoke. He stepped out of the shadows of the darkened kitchen, clutching the knife in his right hand. Stan noticed this and his widened his eyes in horror.
"Kyle, can you put the knife down so we can talk?" Stan asked hesitantly. He didn't want to say anything that might upset his already unstable friend.
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
"Why? Just so I can be rejected again? You never gave me a chance to explain about Kenny, Stan. All of this could've been avoided with one, simple explanation." Kyle's pain was all too evident. Stan knew he was right. He didn't know why he never let Kyle explain.
Kyle fell to his knees and let out a strangled sob. His fingers loosened the grip on the knife and it cluttered harmlessly onto the carpet. Stan's heart went out to him. He felt his eyes well up with tears. He hated that he did this to Kyle.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You
Stan rushed to his side and gathered him in his arms. He picked up the knife and tossed it away from them, a good few feet into the kitchen. Kyle wouldn't need it anymore because Stan was there for him. "Oh Kyle. I'm so very sorry," Stan's voice cracked. "It doesn't matter anymore that you were with Kenny. All that matters is I'm here now and everything's going to be ok." He rocked both of them back and forth, caressing Kyle's reddish mass of curls. Kyle had always hated his hair, but Stan always told him that's what made him so cute.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
"I was only trying to comfort Kenny. He had a really bad fight with his dad that day. There was nothing going on between us, Stan. I swear to you on my life." Kyle's voice was muffled as he pressed his tear-streaked face into Stan's chest. It felt so good to have Stan's arm's around him again.
"I know hon. You were just being the way you always are. That's what I love about you. When other people are hurting, you're there for them, unlike me, who just walks away. I should've realized that from the beginning. I don't know why I turned my back on you. I guess I was feeling insecure about myself, about us."
Kyle pulled away so he could look into Stan's eyes. "If you were having doubts about us, you should've told me," Stan saw the hurt in his eyes. Kyle's lower lip quivered. Stan gently reached up and wiped the tears from his face. He rested his forehead on Kyle's. "I know, I know. Can you ever forgive me?"
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You
Kyle smiled through his tears. "I'll try. Does this mean we're back together?" He asked. "If you want us to be, then we are." Stan replied. "Can we take things slow for now? I – I just need some time," Kyle whispered. Stan's eyes shined with tears. "I think we both need some time to take it slow." He couldn't believe how close he came to losing his best friend to suicide, and basically all over nothing.
Stan softly brushed his lips against Kyle's. "God, I missed kissing you, Stan," Kyle murmured. He tightened his grip on Stan. "Stan, will you – will you stay with me tonight, please?" Kyle whispered. "I can't bear the thought of being alone again."
Stan cupped Kyle's face in his hands and kissed him again. The kiss was long and tender. They parted, breathing heavily. Stan helped Kyle to his feet and led the other boy up to his room.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
He quietly shut the door behind them and the two sat on Kyle's bed, where they took their shoes and socks off but kept the rest of their clothes on. They continued where they left off downstairs. They cuddled and whispered sweet nothings into each other's ears.
They vowed their eternal love for each other and basically planned their future together. Of course, they kissed and petted in between words, but nothing meant more to Kyle than Stan and this very moment. They made love at one point, with Kyle being the instigator and Stan, the receiver.
When Kyle woke the next morning, he discovered Stan to be gone. This left him with a heavy heart, just like all those other times when he spent those awfully long and lonely nights alone, but that was before he saw the note on his nightstand. He picked it up and after he read it, the tears flowed once again, but this time they were tears of contentment, because Stan's note read:
Dear Kyle,
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
I love you, Stan