By: TheGreyLady (immaculatecalypso@hotmail.com)
Chapter 7~ Crossing Borders
They hadn't exchanged more than ten words by the next day. Almost everything Hermione said was met with nods or silence. It didn't seem like Snape would get so angered with the taunting of two silly girls. She didn't want to pursue the issue. They'd agreed to resume the search.
They started in Italy and planned to branch out westward from there. Albus didn't have any un-searched locations in France, Spain, or Germany, so there seemed little point in exploring those countries. Italy didn't seem like the place Dumbledore would be but blindly apparation from place to place would only serve to tire them quickly. They planned on staying the night at an inn somewhere, depending on how far they got.
Ron's letter had proved useful. It had provided more places that had been searched. Anything that could narrow down the vast area that she and Snape had to explore was useful. Of course, that had not stopped her from firing off an angry letter to him detailing how reckless it had been to send the Parvati twins with the information.
Thank Merlin that Snape hadn't lost it.
The searched all day, going through Italy and Austria with little encouragement and low hopes. She knew they wouldn't find Albus today and figured that Snape knew it as well. Neither said anything. It would have been redundant. They continued to comb the continent and tried to remain optimistic.
As the day wound down, Hermione felt more miserable than ever. No signs of Dumbledore had been found anywhere. It was in cold Romania that she and Snape settled down for the night. He'd been silent the entire day. It was starting to get to her. With the help of a translation charm, she and Snape got a double room together. It wouldn't do for someone to recognize Snape and wonder why he was staying in a room alone. As soon as they arrived at their temporary quarters, Hermione took a long bath.
She didn't want to spend more time with Snape than needed. She felt embarrassed for him.
Snape seemed to be thinking along the same lines. As soon as she'd changed into her nightclothes, Snape went into the bathroom and remained there for a long time. Hermione tried to watch the television but she couldn't understand anything that was being said. She left it on for the background noise.
When Snape returned, clean and ready for sleep, Hermione dared herself to speak. "How are you doing?"
"If you're wondering if your little friends hurt my feelings, you may rest assured that I am too heartless to care," he sneered.
"Just because they aren't here doesn't mean you can take it out on me!" She snapped. At that moment, Hermione realized that this would almost definitely end with bloodshed. Snape's eyes darkened as he regarded her as little more than an insect.
"Well, I couldn't very well defend myself to them, could I?" He shot back, "It certainly would have put a kink in your little quest to find Albus!"
She heard her own voice getting louder as she cried, "You need to find him, too!"
"Only thanks to your self-serving purposes!" He spat.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You brought me back because you wanted to feel better!" He accused. "Rest assured, I've better things to do than lift the spirits of a selfish, spoiled brat and subject myself to the amusement of her imbecilic friends!"
"Well, excuse me, Professor, if I had known you felt that way I wouldn't have risked myself to restore your sorry ass*!"
"What risks you took were your own choices. I wasn't in a state to ask you to do anything. I sealed myself in that coffin when I was younger than you are now!"
"Because you joined Voldemort when you were a kid?"
"Don't say his name!"
"Whose name? Voldemort?" She saw the fury in his eyes but was too angry to pay it any heed. "Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Vol…"
She was cut off as Snape put his hands on her upper arms and pushed her against the wall and held her there. He hissed, "You would call the devil?"
"I would call the devil just to spite you!" she retorted as she shoved him away.
He crossed his arms and sneered, "I'm sure your incredible candor has your parents rolling in their graves."
The way he said it made her angry beyond her limits. Hermione wasn't a violent person. She was mild-mannered by nature. The only real "fight" she'd ever had was with Millicent Bulstrode. Aside from that, she preferred to use her mind to resolve conflict. She abhorred people who fought to resolve arguments.
Yet somehow, that didn't stop her from hurling a lamp at Snape's head in beautiful, righteous wrath.
His eyes widened in momentary shock but he quickly ducked out of the way and charged for her. She reached for her wand as Snape grabbed her around the waist and lifted her over his shoulder. She took the opportunity to sink her nails into his back and raked down. He grunted before practically throwing her into a chair, which almost toppled over with the force of it. He pinned her neck with his forearm and clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Calm down," Snape said slowly but forcefully as he removed his hand from her mouth.
"You have no right," her voice wavered with the ire and adrenaline pumping through her veins as she struggled against him. "You have no right to ever speak of my parents. Your friends killed them!"
Snape backed away quickly, shaking his head and breathing deeply; trying to regain control of the situation. He took a seat on the bed and rested his face in his hands. With the sudden absence of his presence, she examined him carefully. She'd managed to get through to him. She'd won the fight with her harsh words and yet she felt not a bit victorious.
"I may not have killed them but I'm a murderer affiliated with the Dark Lord, nevertheless. Even if I did change sides… even if I tried to atone… I deserved to be there." He said in a serious voice. "I did more than enough to warrant any kind of punishment the Ministry could deal out including what happened. You're the only person who seems to think otherwise."
Almost as quickly as the white-hot rage had overcome her, it left in the wake of her understanding what this fight was really about. Padma and Parvati had no doubt irritated the matter but it was Snape's inability to understand why she'd rescue him that was making him lash out at her. "Dumbledore would think otherwise. Snape… you don't belong there. I knew that before I even helped you. You didn't see…"
"See what?"
"Your… essence," she said, struggling to find the right words, "You didn't see how utterly… beautiful you are. I've never… wanted anything like that before."
He didn't say anything to that. She doubted he could have even if he wanted to. He just sat there, staring at her as if to see if she was lying. Finally, he released the shaky breath he'd been holding and said, "We've a great deal of searching to do tomorrow. Go to bed, Hermione."
She nodded slowly and extinguished the lights, waiting until he had settled beneath the covers of his bed. She felt mildly embarrassed about her confession. They had both crossed some boundaries tonight. After making her way to her own bed and settling in, she realized something.
That was the first time he had ever called her Hermione.
* * *
A week later, when they had searched all the locations they'd set out to, they returned to Hermione's home. Disheartened at the failure, they'd each decided to spend a few days to recuperate from the drain. Neither had spoken about the words exchanged that night.
Hermione was almost ashamed that she had said something so hateful to him but realized that in the context of the moment, there was little alternative. Snape wasn't someone to be coddled. She sensed something had changed in the way he looked at her. She attributed it to respect for the fact that she could be angered to the point of violence—something she herself hadn't even known.
There were no apologies, just an unspoken forgiveness on both their parts. It wasn't like Snape to forgive or regret, so she took his silence as she would have taken his word. Somehow, his silence seemed more trustworthy and sincere.
Now they would have only six continents to search, including Antarctica. It would take a full day to scout that single location, namely because Snape doubted she could apparate there and back in a single day with ample energy to continue. She wanted to get it out of the way, though. Searching five continents sounded easier than searching six, even though she couldn't make any logic of it in her mind.
She'd heavily considered doing a straight run. If she took enough money out of Gringotts, she'd argued with Snape, they could easily put themselves up in hotels along the way. They wouldn't be sitting around her house and wasting valuable time. He'd replied that after Antarctica, they would both need a few days rest and the more they stayed away from her house, the more likely they were to be discovered.
"In any case," he'd continued. "If Potter or Weasley are to come upon any new information, it would take the owls days to reach us if we're constantly moving. That's time we'd be losing, not gaining. As much as I hate to admit this, we need to keep them posted on our activities… in case anything happens."
Why did he always have to make so much sense? Harry and Ron had expressed interest in helping the search but they were far too busy with Auror training. They didn't have the time she and Snape had. Best for them to continue trying to find any and all the information they could and sending it to Hermione.
She sighed heavily; she could tell Snape noticed even though he showed no signs of it. She'd ordered some Chinese take out. The idea of cooking sounded about as appealing as shoving hot needles into her eyes. Snape, she'd discovered, was astonishingly good with chopsticks.
Hermione was appreciative that Snape hadn't asked any more questions about the room. She didn't want to deal with it until Dumbledore was back. Harry and Ron hadn't discovered anything new but made her promise to keep them updated on her findings… or lack thereof.
She and Snape trotted to their respective rooms. Tomorrow, they were going to Antarctica. As she changed for bed, she threw a quick glance at the map. Maybe she was looking at it wrong. Maybe there was a pattern there and she just wasn't seeing it. Pulling a straight edge and a pencil from her desk, she examined the map again. She sighed disgustedly at herself. She could play connect the dots all night and it wouldn't get her anywhere.
Besides, she needed her rest. She was going to Antarctica tomorrow.
*Challenge line… I don't like it, either.
My beta, Kate, may not be Fred Flinstone but she can make your bed rock.
Ran- Thanks!
Ramos- That characterizations are one of those things I agonized over. I'm glad it paid off!