By: TheGreyLady (immaculatelcalypso@hotmail.com)
Chapter 9~ Answers in the Night Sky
Japan had always been a country that Hermione wanted to visit; the sights, language, and history always appealed to her intellectual side. However, Snape at roughly 190 centimeters tall* was readily noticed by many natives. He felt self-conscious… and so did she. Wizards resided in all parts of the globe; they were just as likely to recognize Snape as someone in England, thanks to The Daily Prophet being published in every major country.
In short, Asia had been nothing short of an embarrassment. Even with translation charms, they'd wound up so lost they had remained a full week longer than expected. Luckily, Hermione had the funds to keep them in decent rooms for the additional time. They'd stayed mostly in suites in order to keep the distance between them. One night in North Korea, however, the only room available had been a Honeymoon Suite. One big bed had dominated the room.
Snape slept in the bathtub that night. She had offered to transfigure a separate bed but she got the distinct impression that being in the suite itself bothered him.
Hermione had returned home, disheartened at both the failure to find Albus and her inability to take advantage of the opportunity to absorb the culture of these gorgeous countries. Snape had been silent for the most part, hissing quiet suggestions when no one was looking. He made it a point to avoid her whenever possible.
Life within her own household had become infinitely more strained. Snape seemed off kilter every moment they were alone, which was often. Every time she caught him looking at her, he would limit his speech to snarky insults or simply not speaking at all. They were no longer taking meals together, Snape only went to her room when she needed to discuss the map.
Obviously, pretending that nothing happened was just as difficult for him. Unfortunately, it was the only option. The current situation did not leave room for a romance. Exploring Snape's sensitive side was the last thing on her agenda-- shortly after death. Hermione refused to picture what life could be like with him. He was an arrogant, conceited man who had temporarily captured her affections, nothing more.
Yet, she couldn't help but believe that there was more.
It wasn't until the end of June that Hermione and Snape rested in the outskirts of Brazil. Another continent had been searched and Dumbledore was still nowhere to be found.
Hermione found herself beginning to hate the man. She was hungry, tired, and stuck with Snape. God help Albus Dumbledore when she found him.
She and Snape had been unable to find a suitable place to rest for the night and settled on conjuring a tent and cots to pass the night in. Tomorrow, they would go back to her home and prepare for searching Africa, Australia, and then North America. North America was their last stop and both were afraid to go there. They were afraid of being found… of what they might find… or what they might not find.
In the event that nothing was on the continents, they could always search the islands, she told herself. It did not succeed in lifting the weight of their failures.
Pushing that thought away, she offered Snape a sandwich from her backpack. He accepted, devouring it with more dignity than she felt she could muster. They hadn't had the opportunity to eat all day so she was feeling particularly ravenous. The meal was topped off with a few glasses of Sangria, purchased at a local shop before they made camp. The sweet wine helped to soothe her frazzled nerves.
They'd kept a careful distance between them but were finally coming back into a comfort zone with each other. Snape was making a moderate effort to be less of a prick, which in her mind was a huge accomplishment. Since they'd begun searching South America, he'd vacillated between being somewhat friendly with her and then, moments later, being a bastard of magnificent proportions for no apparent reason.
After eating, Snape lit a fire to protect them somewhat from the cold air. With nothing to mediate the temperature, she was quickly shivering once the sun set. There was no worry of werewolves this time. They'd consulted the moon cycle and had nothing to fear.
Hermione contented herself to stargazing. With no light polluting the sky, the stars were incredibly bright. From this hemisphere, she saw constellations she didn't often have a chance to see.
"What are you doing?" Snape's voice cut through the darkness.
"Looking up," she replied lazily, not bothering to find exactly where his voice was coming from. "The stars are beautiful tonight. You can see Centaurus and the Southern Cross. You can't see those in England." She heard him scoff at her quietly but decided to pay him no mind. She smiled- being ignored was just the sort of thing that irritated a man like Snape to no ends. That much was evident in his teaching style.
He could ignore her all he wanted but heaven forbid that she give herself that luxury.
"Miss Granger, the constellations are the equivalent of Connect-The-Dots for morons. I don't see how anybody could seriously…" he continued to mutter while he sat down next to her. She barely managed to hide her grin as Snape, as predicted, went out of his way to not be disregarded. Unexpectedly, the wheels in her mind began turning as she contemplated the night sky.
"You're right…" she whispered as she squinted slightly. "You're absolutely right."
"Of course, I'm right. Astronomy should have never been introduced to the curriculum."
"Look," she said, pointing to the sky. "There's Apus, Octans, Chamaeleon, Volans… Oh, why didn't I see it before?"
"You said so yourself. You can't see them in England," he replied irritably, dismissing her without a second thought.
"No, Snape! The points on the map, I'd swear they match up with the stars! It seems just like the sort of thing Albus would do!"
She turned and looked at him as he turned his gaze to the stars. "Albus, you son of a… I think you're right," he said. It wasn't often that Snape admitted that someone other than himself was right, a small victory for Hermione.
"We know where to look now! Snape, we did it! We can really find him now!" She beamed. Her joy seemed to be contagious and Snape managed the first real smile she had ever seen on him. Elated at the first real progress they'd made, she leaned over to kiss his cheek when he unexpectedly turned his head to address her again and her lips touched briefly on his.
She pulled away quickly, ducking her head down as she sat up. This had been what they'd both been avoiding. This was what they had been pretending never happened. This was what would fall apart once Dumbledore was found.
This was what would hurt her.
She muttered a faint apology as she began to rise, desperately wanting the distance that had been serving them both so well. Snape's hand upon hers stopped the ascent. Daring to look at him, she wanted to kiss him again. She wanted him to hold her while she fell asleep. She wanted dozens of things, none of them she would expect from him… even fewer she would dare to ask.
Somehow, all of the feelings of loneliness she'd been feeling melted away when he cupped her cheek in his hand. Their lips met awkwardly at first but before she could pull away he slanted his lips and kissed her firmly. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide over her own.
She slid her arms around his shoulders, letting a hand tangle in his hair. Reveling in the sensation of his hands smoothing over her back and clutching at her, her tongue caressed his, exploring his mouth as she hadn't been able to before. She felt more at peace with everything for a brief moment than she had felt in a long time.
Then he pulled away abruptly and rose to leave.
This man was a prime example of what happens when you can't decide what you want. She knew what she wanted. She wanted to hit him over the head with something blunt. He'd just taken the final steps in making the existence of something between them undeniable. Now he was running from it.
If she could understand what he was thinking, it would be easier. If he would come out and admit that he wanted something to do with her, she could accept it. But he'd already rejected her twice and she knew a third time wasn't far from coming. This needed to be addressed now… and if he continued to toy with her feelings, well, there wasn't a jury in the world that would her find her guilty of what would happen.
"Haven't we been avoiding this conversation long enough?" She called to him causing his figure to freeze. "This isn't going to be any easier the next time it happens, so we may as well clear the air now."
"We can't do this, Hermione," he stated.
"I'm not the one doing it," she replied, satisfied that her voice remained so unwavering.
He bowed his head for a moment, still refusing to turn and face her. "It was inappropriate. But, keep in mind that you… responded."
"You started it." She cursed herself the instant the words came out. He would never think of her as an equal if she threw around juvenile
"Are you just going to nitpick the details all night?" he said with exasperation.
"Well, this is the second time you've kissed me and the second time that you've run as though I had leprosy!" Silently, she willed him to turn and face her. This was a hard discussion to have with someone's back. He did not budge from his position. She turned away, looking into the fire.
He sighed and his tall form slumped infinitesimally. "It doesn't matter who initiated it. We can't do this."
"Then why do we keep doing it?" she asked seriously.
"I don't know. I know better but… I can't stop myself from wanting it. I've been…" he trailed off and she heard him continue into the tent, making the most of the minimal distance. She knew very well where he'd been, the same place that was driving her to seek comfort in a most unlikely source. They had been alone in a place with few friendly faces. Left to fight their demons with no assistance.
She followed him inside; he was sitting on the edge of his cot with his nimble fingers massaging his temples. Taking a seat on the cot next to his but avoiding eye contact, she took a deep breath and spoke, "Pretending that it didn't happen didn't work. I imagine pretending that it isn't going to happen again will have the same results. We can only go so far in avoiding each other…"
"Yes. Analyze the situation until you come up with a solution. After all, I've only been trying for over a month, why shouldn't you be able to do it in a few minutes?" he said with a curious mix of anger and softness.
She clenched her hands and said, "You need to figure out what you want."
He gave a frustrated sigh, "You know what I want."
"Well, then you need to decide if it's worth it." She said, "Because if this isn't going anywhere, you need to stop jerking me around."
The silence was nearly palpable and the darkness lingered over them both as she waited patiently for a response. He finally spoke again, "What do you want?"
She let out a breathy laugh, "That wasn't the question."
"There was no question," he pointed out.
"Unimportant. The question was implied."
"Mine was asked," he replied, stealing the triumph. "So tell me, what do you want?"
She sighed at his obstinacy and said, "You know what I want."
He reached out and stroked the side of her arm with the back of his hand. She told herself that the shudder had been only from the cold. Such minimal contact shouldn't have affected her so. Gazing up at him through tired eyes, she realized that he was once again looking at her.
She closed her eyes and gave a half-smile to him, realizing for the first time that night how utterly exhausted she was. He crouched on the floor closer to her and moved his hand to the back of her neck, massaging the tense muscles. Involuntarily, she released a loud moan and clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle it. Snape chuckled and hugged her tightly.
She felt him shift slightly and his hands brought her down to lie with him. After he pulled the blankets over then, he positioned himself behind her, curling his body around hers. She sighed as she felt him touch a kiss to her neck and then let herself fall asleep.
She awoke the next morning to Snape's voice grumbling, "What the hell?" She unwrapped herself from his arms and looked around the tent, the bright sunshine streaming through the canvas impeding her vision. Rubbing her eyes groggily, she saw a beautiful white owl perched upon Snape's foot, which was poking out from beneath the blanket.
"That's Hedwig!" She said, sitting up. "Harry's owl," she explained, though she doubted he needed the explanation. She quickly coaxed the owl from Snape's foot onto her arm before Snape could take measures to remove it. She couldn't stop herself from wondering why Harry would message her now. He knew that she and Snape would be due back in England in the next few days. What couldn't wait until then?
Bad news, she thought. Bad news never waits for convenience.
It was as though a bomb had been dropped in her stomach as she reached out and released the letter from Hedwig's leg with a shaking hand. The owl cooed before flying out of the tent. She opened the letter and was greeted with Harry's bold scrawl:
July 5 at 8pm. Oaxaca, Mexico. Cathedral. Don't go home.
H.
*190 cm= 6'3" The conversion was used for the sake of being more British.
Author's Notes- Finally, after many hours of agonizing over how the story should end, inspiration (*coughcoughKatecoughcough*) hit me hard… in fact, I think she damn near mowed me over. Now that I know how the story is going to end, I may actually be able to finish it! GO ME! Updates should be more regular from now on.
On a side note, the update list is now up to 4 people! HOORAY! If you'd like to be added to the update list, I'll need your email addy and a note stating that you'd like to be added- I don't want to assume anyone wants updates, spam sucks. If, for some reason, you no longer want to be on the list, let me know and I'll take you off. I got a few reviews with email addys but didn't add them because they never stated that they would like to be added. Again, for those who don't like posting reviews or simply have nothing to say about the fic, I can be emailed at immaculatecalypso@hotmail.com- Just put something in the header or the body about Mephy updates and I'll add you to the list.
It seems that I have (uncharacteristically (*Snort*)) made an error in a previous chapter. Surprise, I'm human. DebCQ was kind enough to point out that (in chapter 4~Waiting for Dawn) I made the mistake of assuming that the moon changes by region. A full moon in England will still be a full moon in Australia when it gets there… despite whatever I think, the moon cycle will not change. To anybody else who noticed it but FEARED MY WRATH (giggle) congratulations, you are smarter than me. Deb, this is for you, you're honest enough to point out my mistakes… and that deserves the best kind of reward a college student can give… which is, sadly, only recognition.
This chapter (along with every other chapter prior to this) is also dedicated to my wonderful beta Kate/Moaning Myrtle (Gee… I wonder why she's moaning.) Kate catches the hundreds of thousands of millions of mistakes I make before I post anything. If any of you wonder why I seem to write so well, rest assured in the knowledge that I don't. Kate understands that I know what's going on… she also understands that sometimes the readers need to know what's going on as well.
*SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!*
By the by- everyone should check out "Teacher, Teacher" It's SMUTASTIC! And it will make you hungry… for food, not sex… well, sex, too, but Kate really has a way with food… I dunno if she has a way with actual sex… but she definitely has a way with actual food. Chapter 13 should go up this week.
Thank Yous!
Risi- Sadly, no Snape on a subway but I hope this chapter still makes you smile!