By: TheGreyLady (immaculatecalypsohotmail.com)
Chapter 17 Filthy Little PuppetsAs she felt the scalding blood surround and choke her, Hermione did what any other rational human being would have done.
She screamed.
She instantly regretted it. The sharp metallic taste of blood flooded her mouth and nearly caused her to vomit again. Grounding her feet into the shallow depths, she pulled her dripping body from the pool of blood. Her blood-soaked skin shined even brighter in the red-hued light.
Wiping the cloudy scarlet haze from her eyes, she gaped at her surroundings. Slowly, she turned her head to dare and see whatever she'd collided into. The voices of her companions rang in her ears as she found herself inches from a Dementor's face.
This close, the Dementor looked even more frightening. The whites of its eyes were coal black and it had no iris. The pupil was a simple orange point no larger than the head of a pin. Its eyes rolled as though it did not see her; she didn't think that it could.
She couldn't think, couldn't blink, couldn't even breathe. The creature loomed closer, its congealed flesh dripping and vacant eyes rolling. It released a sound somewhere between a hiss and a screech accompanied by loud rattling. For a moment, she thought she felt her pulse flicker with the same clattering tempo as this monster's breath.
Then she was suddenly no longer in control. Despite her mind's desperate pleas, she felt rooted to the spot where she stood. Feeling oddly detached from her body, Hermione became aware of it shaking.
Her body unwillingly folded in on itself, coming tauntingly close to the Dementor's face as she slowly sank into the blood again. She gaped at the monster in horror while trying to remain brave. It was impossible to be courageous in the face of this aberration of nature. With thin tendrils of gooey flesh separating its upper and lower lips, it opened its mouth and she watched as several of its rotting teeth dropped from its gaping maw. Before her eyes, its tongue shriveled as it released a noxious gas through its decayed lips.
It was all she could do to silence her shriek and slam her mouth shut in terror.
The feeling of dread intensified a thousand-fold and with no conscious volition, she felt her legs rise towards her chest as she curled into a fetal position against her will. Her jaw dropped open, letting the warm fluid seep into her mouth as the left side of her face was submerged. One eye saw only red and the other terrified eye beheld several more Dementors swooping down upon her with the wretched rattling of its breath shaking her to her core.
Unable to stop herself, she breathed the toxic fluid. The hot blood flooded her lungs, forcing her to cough violently. If she had been able to fight the onslaught of misery, she would have. Instead she felt her head loll back and she accepted her untimely death without regret, as she took another gasp of fluid into her vulnerable lungs and sank even deeper.
Suddenly she felt peaceful, as though she hadn't a care in the world. With her eyes wide open, she stared up -- whichever direction that may have been. Vaguely she felt blood dribble from the corners of her mouth as her face once again broke the surface of the unholy pool. She saw the features of the Dementor and suddenly the mutated face -- hideous as it had seemed before -- became that which she did not know but instantly recognized. Everything was seen though rose-tinted lenses. While the recognition of this delusion tore through her mind, she remained unable to feel fear.
She felt empty and lifeless. She felt hollow and absent… and for some reason, in that moment, it was the greatest feeling in the world.
Her sanity screeched that what she was seeing was an illusion, but a soft, haunting chanting drowned it out. She believed suddenly that everything was going to be okay. Severus would be fine; Ron and Harry would be fine. All was perfect and right in the world. No logic could break through the eerie uncanny peace she felt at that moment… not even her friends' and lover's shrieks.
Everything would be right in the end. They would understand that soon. She felt her mouth slip open wider as the Dementor bent lower.
She ceased to be in a pool of blood. She ceased to be in a room that had spawned countless nightmares. She ceased, for a moment, to be at all. The void was pleasant… welcome, even. Nothing mattered because nothing was all that existed.
No more nightmares, no more life, just this overpowering nothing that would, somehow, absolve her.
In a silver flash, everything came back into perspective. The Dementor fled before the white hissing serpent that guarded her. The face of God once again became the face of inexplicable horror.
"Mobilicorpus!" she heard Ron shout as she was lifted from the pool like a baby from baptism. Barely aware of her surroundings, she stared at the ceiling until she felt sticky wet stones press against her back. She couldn't remember why she was here.
The sensation caused her to blink and forced her to hack the blood from her screaming lungs. Her sight was clouded in scarlet-red and she errantly brought her palms over her eyes, desperately trying to refocus her attention. When her vision finally cleared, she stared at the silvery mist of the serpent. For a moment, she wanted nothing more than to touch it but she couldn't make her hands obey her brain.
"Wake up, Hermione!" Ron's voice shouted from a distance.
"Help her!" Severus called. He sounded so sweet. So, he does care.
She shifted her blurred concentration and saw Severus casting the Patronus that saved her life while Ron rushed over. A serpent… how appropriate… her head flopped to the side as she beheld none other than Cornelius Fudge. Fudge looked angry… surprise, surprise. She felt heavy slaps fall onto her cheeks. Why am I here? What's going on?
"Merlin! Hermione! Wake up!" Ron yelled as she saw his hand cross her face again and again. She thought that Ron was straddling her chest, hollering as though she couldn't hear him. It was really getting annoying. She really should do something about that… later. She was too tired to act now.
"Hermione!" More blows struck her partially numb face. She could tell that Ron was hitting her in earnest now from the way he was throwing his shoulder back, his blood-streaked hand passed before her vision. Am I bleeding? she thought confusedly, trying to make sense of it in her mind. Adrenaline began pumping wildly through her, though she wasn't sure why, causing her breathing to quicken and her limbs to shake.
"Stop," she managed to choke out as Ron continued to smack her, "Stop it!"
Her vision cleared a little more and she grasped the offending hand. Ron looked at her with bewilderment before she managed to push him away. He looked infinitely relieved for a brief moment before heaving himself off of her and departing more quickly than her eyes could follow.
She rolled over, propping herself up on all fours and crawled towards her comrades. The slippery blood impeded her movement and, try as she might, she could not force her limbs to coordinate with each other. Her entire body was shaking. She was slowly coming back into her right state of mind, recalling the events that brought her to this place, leaving her shocked and confused.
The camera…
With great fear, Hermione dug her shaking hands into her soaked pockets. The camera was wet and broken; the film was ruined. Pushing her wet, blood-reddened hair away from her face, she fought back the tears. The serpent crossed her vision again, keeping the Dementors at bay.
"Avada Kedavra," someone cried, wrenching her attention from the lost evidence. It was Fudge's voice; he stood there with four figures, each masked in black robes.
This was definitely not good.
The intended target, namely Ron, dove out of the way to avoid the curse as he threw a stunning spell. Hermione fumbled for her wand as she watched another curse hit Harry. What do I do? She felt her brain click into gear. The assailants weren't paying attention to her, considering her disposed of for the fight. Severus was busy keeping his Patronus active. Harry and Ron were doing their best to keep the enemies at bay.
They were outnumbered. She had one chance to even the odds. Raising her wand, a single thought repeated in her mind, I cannot miss. I cannot miss…
She quietly cast a full-body bind and watched triumphantly as she hit her mark. The masked figure guarding Fudge went rigid before toppling to the ground like a lone domino.
And then there were four.
Having just proven that she was not out of the fight, the goons threw curses at her with uncanny speed. She pressed herself against the bleeding wall, feeling the sticky liquid drip over her drenched body and focused on dodging the attacks and casting shields on her companions. She heard Ron scream and turned to see him collide headfirst into the wall. Despite the cacophony of shouted spells, she still heard the sickening crack of Ron's skull slamming into the unrelenting wall.
She pulled herself to her shaking feet. If they weren't playing fair, there was no reason she should be taking the moral highroad. She summoned a flame and cast it into the face of her enemy as he attempted to rush her.
The man fell back, screaming as he ripped his burning mask away from his face. The scent from the burning of his long, white-blonde hair invaded her nostrils…
… long blonde hair? She froze for a moment, unable to overcome her dread. No… no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. The man looked up and stared at her with furious brown eyes.
Brown eyes… It wasn't a Malfoy-- or it wasn't any Malfoy that she knew-- she almost sighed with relief. Apparently, it really wasn't possible. The man raised his wand, taking advantage of her inattention. She gripped her wand more tightly as she readied herself to throw another attack, knowing that she would never utter the incantation in time.
The man hissed the beginnings of the Killing Curse. This is it… she thought when a black-clad form crashed into her attacker, throwing his aim off-kilter. She quickly cast another body bind and looked at her rescuer.
Severus.
"Hermione," he growled, "cast your Patronus!"
She nodded and tried to focus her energies into executing the spell, which was incredibly difficult to do as she was coated in blood and terrified at the events taking place around her. She attempted the spell twice, each time producing only a light mist. The failure only raised doubt in her mind, making the spell even more difficult.
"Calm yourself," Severus' words managed to penetrate her thoughts in a remarkably soothing tone.
Garnering every happy memory she could recall, she fought to remember her parents-- her childhood -- without the infinitely foreboding thought that they were forever gone. She managed to release the corporeal otter; it was hardly a daunting figure but the Dementors seemed fearful of it all the same. Severus' serpent dissipated as he cast a shield and a disillusionment charm on her before reentering the fray. Fortunately whatever had been corrupting the otter before had ceased and she was able to survey the fight with a detached focus.
Harry was barely holding his position, his legs violently quaking. She could see cuts oozing blood on his arms. Severus was busy throwing spells that she had never heard before, quickly dispatching another foe.
Two…
Severus was using dark magic; funny how that didn't affect her in the way she thought it should have.
Hermione crept to Ron's still body, valiantly trying to avoid detection. There was blood… it was staining Ronald Weasley's hair a different shade of red. Fear crawled through her as she tried to see if Ron was breathing. She pushed it down-- if her fear overcame her Patronus, it would vanish; she doubted she would be able to summon it again. Her shaking hand reached for Ron's neck, feeling the faint flutter of his pulse.
She knew a simple reviving spell that could bring him back into the fight but she couldn't cast it and maintain the Patronus. Ron was alive if a bit unstable; she forced herself to take comfort in that. She heard another Killing Curse being cast. She tore her attention from Ron and watched in explicit horror as the green bolt hit Harry.
Though she knew that Harry's mother protected him from this curse, she remained shocked at the display that followed. He stood frozen for a moment, his entire body stiff as metal as the green light was absorbed into his body. Then, a flash of white so brilliant she was temporarily blinded illuminated the room. The spell was rejected from his body. She saw a green streak bolt back into the body of man who had dared to cast it.
The man collapsed to the floor. Hermione knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was dead and, oddly, that didn't bother her at all. Harry continued to stand, gasping as though he had run a marathon and shaking like he was standing in the middle of the Arctic tundra. His body quickly became pliant once again and fell limply to the ground with blood oozing from his scar and dripping steadily onto the stone floor.
Now there was one.
The odds had been leveled in their favor. Fudge and Severus stood together, poised for combat with their wands pointed at one another. She reached for Ron's taser; hers was covered in blood and she wasn't about to risk using it. If she could get close enough, she could disable Fudge and still keep the Patronus going. She began to inch away from Ron, staying near the walls and the shadows of the room.
"Where's the girl?" Fudge said in a deadly quiet voice.
"She's safe," Severus said calmly, keeping his wand aimed at the Minister. "Why are you doing this?"
"You're a traitor, Snape," Fudge hissed.
"You know which side I fought for."
"Clever of you. If the Dark Lord succeeded, you could continue pretending to support Him. If He lost, you would be regarded as a hero," the portly man snarled, a sound she'd never heard from him before. Something about his words… something was setting sirens off in her head. What is it, she thought frantically, What is wrong with this?
"You, Snape," he continued. "You deserved this more than any of them."
In the span of a moment, she replayed the words in her mind until she stumbled onto the offending phrase. The Dark Lord… she'd never heard anyone use that phrase except for…
Severus ceased to breathe, his entire body going completely rigid. "You were playing both sides," he whispered in astonishment.
If Voldemort was Lucifer, then the sneering man before her was Mephistopheles… the devil's minion…. Or perhaps Azrael, cast down from righteousness by his sheer opportunism. In any case, the danger had increased. They were not dealing with a good man-- they were dealing with the devil's bitch.
It made sense. If Fudge had been a sympathizer then, in theory, he would still be Minister of Magic if Voldemort took over. Suddenly, Fudge's claimed ignorance of Voldemort's return took on a whole new light. He knew and had just been biding time. Hermione felt ill and doubled her efforts to keep the Patronus going despite the onslaught of unhappy feelings.
"Now, Severus. You can't rightly expect me to admit to such slander," Fudge sneered.
"Why this?" Severus spat, ignoring Fudge's jab and tilting his head toward the pool.
"I was at an impasse, I suppose," he replied. "What was I to do? Let your lot run free? The people would have been most disappointed, Snape. Besides, at least one of you knew about my 'friend' and I couldn't risk that getting out. People would have been most upset…" Fudge taunted. "Most upset, indeed."
Hermione realized with that statement that Fudge was stalling. If they waited any longer, reinforcements would arrive and there would be no chance for escape. No trial would take place; they would all take the Dementor's kiss. There was no time. She needed to distract Fudge.
"Avada Kedavra," she shouted. The words may as well have been "abra cadabra." She knew she couldn't cast the killing curse even if she weren't preoccupied with casting the Patronus. She just hoped to seize Fudge's attention long enough for Severus to gain the upper hand.
God help her, she was going to win this one. Hermione Jane Granger didn't know the definition of defeat… well… not in the applicable sense.
Like clockwork, Fudge spun in the direction of her voice, allowing Severus the opportunity to stun Fudge, who fell to the ground like a trash-bag filled with chunky soup. The Dementors were getting restless and Hermione's otter was continuing to drain her energy; she shook her head to clear her mind and leaned against the filthy wall again, trying to conserve her stamina.
Severus quickly charmed three portkeys, placing one on Harry and one on Ron. The boys quickly vanished. He came to her and released the disillusionment charm; the sensation was pleasant, giving her a warm rush of energy.
Crouching next to her, Severus charmed another portkey. She grasped it.
Footsteps echoed through the hallways. People were running to the room. Voices sounded in the distance. Naturally, help wouldn't arrive until the fight was over.
"Drop your Patronus on three." Severus said slowly, as though he were praying, despite the urgency. "One…"
The footsteps came closer. Hermione could hear their voices calling to each other; she recognized a few of them. Kingsley's deep baritone voice bounced from the walls.
"Two…"
The voices came closer. They were right outside the door. She couldn't help but look as they burst over the threshold. Four Aurors, each clothed in the standard uniform, stared dumbly at the room.
"Dear Merlin! What on Earth…?" one of them said, aghast.
"Three!" Severus softly called. Hermione released her Patronus and felt the familiar tug at her navel, allowing herself to promptly vanish from the Aurors' sight.
They re-appeared in the warehouse.
Harry still lay unconscious and Ron remained the same. Hermione held little hope for the latter. She hadn't realized in the room's poor lighting exactly how much Ron was bleeding. His still face was a ghostly white, making his freckles appear to be even darker in comparison, and his hair was soaked. She hadn't acted quickly enough.
Severus released her and quickly moved to Ron. He gently brushed the discolored hair aside from Ron's pale face as he examined the younger man's bleeding head.
"It's a concussion," Severus said moving to one of the bags they'd left, "A bad one. We need to get him to a hospital. He may become comatose if we don't." He strode back to her and pulled a chocolate bar from the bag. "Eat," he ordered as he opened another bar and ate a section of it.
She placed the semi-sweet chocolate chunk onto her tongue. As soon as the first piece was swallowed, hope surged through her… if a hospital could save him then it couldn't be as bad as it seemed. Wait… her mind halted her elation. "We can't go to the hospital. We'll be arrested. Maybe Nicholas…?"
Severus took on a look of contemplation before stating, "We may not have that much time. Charm a portkey for Ronald's home. His parents… they can help him better than we can. They can get him to Hogwarts."
"Hogwarts is crawling with Aurors, Severus." She sighed and shook her head, "After tonight, there are only going to be more of them. There is no way that Madam Pomfrey is going to be able to treat him without detection."
"Then they can contact Lupin," he replied. At her questioning glance, he continued, "He trained as an Auror for the Order. Basic medical training is included. He may not be able to cure Ronald but he should be more than capable of stabilizing him until professional help can be summoned."
Shaking her head, she took her bloody camera and focused on the Burrow, the place where she'd spent so many holidays. Once the spell was cast, she stumbled to her fallen companion, intent on taking him to his parents. Severus seized the portkey before she reached Ron.
"Potter needs to return to Rábida," he calmly stated. "He could wake soon. You should be there."
"The Weasleys won't appreciate your bringing Ron in this condition."
"I doubt they'll appreciate you either," he replied, grasping the portkey and vanishing. Hermione cursed for a moment before shifting to examine Harry. Aside from the blood marring his face from the reopened scar and the several cuts on his body, he looked to be merely sleeping off a night of drinking.
She sent a silent thank-you to the heavens-- to Lily Potter-- before activating another portkey to the small island of Rábida. Once there, she decided to place Harry into his own bed to let him rest comfortably.
Coaxing him into a sitting position, she removed his jacket and shirt. It didn't take long for her to cleanse and seal the cuts and gashes Harry had suffered in the fray. Bending down, she removed his shoes and socks before pulling the blanket over his lax form.
When she'd convinced herself that he was comfortable, Hermione quickly moved to the bathroom, leaving a trail of bloody footprints in her wake. She passed a mirror during her hasty journey and couldn't help but stare at herself.
She looked dead. The blood on her body had thickened and begun to dry. Even through the dark red, she could see the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Hastening to the bathroom, she stripped away her clothing, letting the drenched items drop heavily to the floor before practically leaping into the shower. She watched with morbid fascination as the blood on her body mingled with the water and drained away.
After letting the hot stream rinse the blood from her for a few minutes, she began the tedious process of attempting to sterilize her skin. Her hair was washed several times and no part of her body escaped the assault of the lava soap she wielded.
Try as she might, she could not get the red stains from beneath her nails. With a determination that bordered on mania, she raked her nails across the soap, trying everything humanly possible to rid herself of any physical remnants of the ordeal she'd just survived. It was not a hopeless cause; after a few tense minutes, she managed to accomplish her goal.
As she prepared to get out of the shower, she noticed the water running across the white tile taking on a pinkish tint. Quickly checking herself for cuts, she paused as the realization dawned on her. She closed her eyes and touched her hand between her legs before bringing it before her weary eyes for inspection.
The tips of her fingers were bright red. Her period had started.
Blood… just like Ron's blood… just like Harry's blood… just like the blood in the pool that she had spent so long trying to wash off. She was bleeding and would continue to do so. Blood coursed through her veins. It was the very thing that kept her alive.
The blood she'd just scrubbed away had once belonged to other people just as the blood leaking from between her legs belonged to her. Everything in that room came whirling back-- the nightmares, the visions and the even more macabre reality. Fear for Ron, fear for Severus, fear for Harry and fear for herself encompassed her.
Her hands and legs shook as she lowered herself to the hot floor. Choked sounds escaped her and bounced off of the walls as she bit her lip to keep from crying. She retched again and again, her stomach roiling and her head spinning. She sat on the tile as the hot water beat down upon her naked frame and did the only thing she could think of.
She buried her face in her hands and wept.
After a solid fifteen minutes of crying, Hermione pulled herself together. Tears, she thought, are not going to change anything. She took care of the bleeding, dried herself off and left the bathroom after wrapping a towel around her body. Hoping the evidence of her breakdown was not terribly obvious, she changed into an oversized set of pajamas and returned to Harry's room.
Severus sat staring at the Boy-Who-Lived and the bloody handprints and footprints that evidenced her presence there.
"Are you all right?" Severus asked quietly before she'd even announced her arrival. It wasn't surprising; the older man always seemed to know when someone else was in the room. He turned to look at her. "You've been crying."
"I had to," she said unapologetically. "How's Ron?"
"His parents moved him to the headquarters for the Order. His mother was summoning Lupin and Poppy when I left. I sealed a note for him once he wakes, telling him to return to Flamel's."
"I don't know why I didn't think of that."
"Luckily, Molly and Arthur are in a better state of mind to care for their son than we are. Hermione," he paused for a moment, seeming to debate his choice of words, "I had no idea…"
He stopped speaking. She sighed as he rose to his feet and embraced her. "If it's any consolation, it wasn't nearly that bad when Harry and I went the first time."
"That is not what I meant," he whispered into her hair, lightly kissing her neck.
"That's disgusting," Harry's semi-prone body grumbled from the bed.
Author's Notes- Well, it took me an absurdly long time but I finally got the chapter to be what I wanted. What you, the reader, have just finished is the final version of a scene that I've written, changed, rewritten, changed, rewritten, tossed, started over, changed, etc. There are (as of now) 4 completed alternate chapters (and a shameless number of incomplete chapters) that this one inevitably replaced. I've tried to incorporate the absolute best of those chapters into this. I hope this is as good as the wait merits.
To give you some ideas of where the alternate chapters deviate- Ron is hit with Avada Kedavra in one, Ron is completely okay in another, Flamel comes in and saves the day, Hermione narrowly escapes the pool and in the first draft, I accidentally killed Snape and the showdown would have taken place between Harry and Fudge.
Yeah… that last one was completely unacceptable. I got very angry when I realized what I'd done.
I knew that the conclusion of this fight had to take place between Snape and Fudge. The one thing I dislike the most is probably the fact that Hermione has to remain a bystander (since someone has to keep the Patronus going) for the actual fight. Also, if she were to be knocked out or hurt, she'd miss everything going on. Funny thing is, that's also the thing I like the most about it because she has a vantage point to see and internally comment on everything that's going on and her inability to assist more brings up all sorts of feelings of helplessness.
Next chapter shouldn't have the kind of wait that you guys had to suffer through. Questions/comments/requests to be on the update list can be left in reviews or emailed to me personally.
Special thanks go to my beta and friend, Kate, who got very concerned at my sudden absence.
HOLY SHIT! I am really behind on you guys! Since a lot of you left these reviews a while ago, I'm going to leave the reviews as well. All in alphabetical order (by name):
AJ Mercedes (3-22, chapter 13) Congratulations on making me cry (of course, any character death does that) and inspiring me to leave you a review. Good Dumbledore death scene, really. And I'm curious now about how you are going to clear Snape. I was only half following your story before -- after all, if all they had to do was find Dumbledore, it wasn't going to be especially difficult to restore Severus to the land of the legally living and ensouled, but now it's getting interesting.
TGL- You'll have to see how/if Snape gets cleared. I'm glad I've caught your interest!
Alynna Lis Eachann (3-21, chapter 13) I think it would have been kinda cheesy if Albus had lived; I like the way you let him go. Liked Lenore, too... 'my lost Lenore.' Can't wait to see if Sev and 'Mione are really back to square one, or if Sev has some sense in him.
TGL- I hope the subsequent chapters answered your questions! Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews!
(3-28, chapter 14) Yey, points to me! I feel adequate. Great job with Sev and Hermione; I don't know if I've said it before, but I like the way the relationship is moving slowly, and on-again-off-again. Sev doesn't seem the type to feel secure going in head-first.
TGL- I'm getting a lot of notes on how people like the relationship, I'm really glad that people are enjoying it. I did some heavy debating about how it would progress and stuck with this because it seemed the most realistic (although, if I were going to write it the way I truly think it should be done, you guys would be reading another 60 chapters of exposition and baby-steps alone!) Thanks!
(4-13, chapter 15) Creepy. Can't wait to see how they plan to fight this...
TGL- Evil Laughter!
(4-27, chapter 16) Walmart break-in! Yeah! Wooho! I can just imagine Severus and Ron running around, trying to decide what strange Muggle thing they should or should not take. Can't wait for more.
TGL- I'll have to send you the chunk I left out about Snape spraying mace in his eyes. I left it out because it was a little too funny. Smile
Amazon Summons 3-26 (chapter 13) Okay, so maybe my hopes were smashed but that's a;right. I'll survive. You should stick to your guns and end this the way you want to. No fluff wanted anyway. I do like how you had Hermione stand up for herself... Lenore...Raven?? Please write more soon, I am worried about Severus!
TGL- MWA HA HA HA HA! The story ain't over yet!
(4-13, chapter 15) This was wonderfully thought out and skillfully written! I await your next update!
TGL- Okee dokee! Here you go!
Amsev (3-21, chapter 13) Wow. What an amazing chapter. Your writing is very true and lifelike (and "life-like" when dealing with how relatively peaceful death happens) Please keep writing this (and other things). You have a gift.
TGL- You know, I think I will keep writing but only as long as you guys are out there to help me along! Thanks for the great review!
Anarane Anwamane (3-22, chapter 13) oh merlin
TGL- I said something like that, too!
Audra (4-28, chapter 1) did you get the idea for the chapter title 'Hell is Other People' from Satre's play 'No Exit'?
TGL- You aren't the first person to ask that but the answer is no. "Hell is Other People" is really just a title I pulled out of my head. I will be reading Satre's play soon.
Diotima Mantinea (3-21, chapter 13) As Hidden Allusion said, "And the plot keeps on thickening!" I have to say though, that I did not expect for you to kill off Dumbledore... Beautifully writen scene that I got frustrated with though... What is in that book?
The Lenore comment... Are you talking about the comic strip?
Well, till the next chapter, I'll be waiting for more angst between my favorite couple... :) Update soon!
TGL- I think a lot of readers didn't think I was going to do it, namely because I sort of wanted to lead them in that direction to make the death more of a shock. The contents of the book have been revealed and the Lenore comment was a direct reference to "The Raven" by Edgar Alan Poe. Thanks for reading and responding!
Electryone (4-14, chapter 8) I just read the first eight chapters in one sitting and I love them! I'd read all of them if I didn't have class right now (but I have plans to finish what you have written when I get home). I think that the way you portray all of the characters is wonderful (although the Patil sisters deserve to be Crucioed). You should post updates to WIKTT--you would get more readers, which your wonderful writing deserves.
TGL- I do post updates to WIKTT, smile Thanks for another great review!
(4-16, chapter 13) I don't think that kiling off Albus is a bad thing (I did it too). There's a good chance it might happen in canon, also.
The reference is Edgar Allan Poe, isn't it?
TGL- HA! I knew there were more of us! We should start a club! LOL! Just kidding. Thanks for the review.
(4-16, chapter 15) I probably should have waited until this was completed to read up to this chapter, because I'm now completely hooked. I hope that Hermione's vision isn't the truth. I like Moody in your story. He's a funny (and weird) guy. Good luck writing the next part--it seems like it will be important for the story!
Sorry to hear about the problems in your life. I hope that they are resolved for the better.
TGL- Moody strikes me as the kind of guy that will try to walk away from a project several times and fail every single time. He also strikes me as paranoid enough to, say, almost blow up a bar. I'm glad you're hooked, that means I'm doing a good job. Let me know if I start to suck.
(4-27, chapter 16) Another good chapter. I'm embarrassed to admit that the penseive idea didn't even occur to me until you mentioned it. It's more fun without penseives anyway.
TGL- I'm anal about detail, so I had to figure out every course of action and negate it to make the story work. LOL! Thanks!
Evanescence4 (3-23, chapter 13) You haven't lost me. And to be honest, I would've been disappointed if you had given him the miraculous recovery.
You took a chance and you benefitted greatly. If people can't stand to read your story because of a character death, then they weren't truly fans of this to begin with. Rowling killed off Sirius for the story -- who knows if he comes back or not, that's up to her -- but she probably risked a great deal in doing that. People were probably very upset but they got over it because of how it progressed the story.
That's the way things go. So pat yourself on the back, you're doing an amazing job and I will continue to read, no matter what you throw out for us.
Keep up the good work,
- Eva
TGL- Pats self on back Thanks! You rock!
Ezmerelda (5-03, chapter 2) As for your newly created word, new word creation is what makes the English language a living language!
TGL- Damn skippy!
(5-03, chapter 16) I actually cried out loud when I realised that there was no more (just yet)!
I found your story listed on Leyna Roundtree's favourites, and just had to read it. Now, I'm adding it to the long (too long) list of fics I Am Currently Reading (As They Are Written). I really should spend more time writing than reading, but I've got writer's block in a terrible way.
Anyway, thanks for writing such an engrossing (and gross, don't forget gross, your descriptions of the chamber are just this side of sick making) story. I am looking forward to the next chapter with great anticipation and possibly a little dread... "
TGL- AWWWWW! Thanks for mentioning where you found my fic. It makes me happy to know who's listing me as a favorite. This story should be wrapped up within a month or so (muses permitting) Thanks for the great review!
Hidden Allusion (3-15, chapter 12) Wow. And the plot keeps on thickening! Please don't kill off Dumbledore! There's got to be a happy ending! This is another great chapter - very moving.
TGL- Deep Breath I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry… There can still be a happy ending, though!
KLyn (5-13, chapter 16) I just discovered this, and I'm terribly impressed. This is well-written, with a strong plot and good characterizations. And the room in the Departmnt of Mysteries is seriously, disturbingly creepy. Great work!
TGL- Thanks!
Lady Penwrath (4-25, chapter 15) I can't believe that I only just found this! It's AMAZING! I am now totally and completely obsessed, and need more. I absolutely love your portrayal of Severus, and it's wonderful to read your version of Hermione; she's just as I imagine her to be! I just wish that Severus and Hermione will finally get together before someone else dies... and that brings to mind what I mean to say before: I LOVED it when Hermione refused Severus. Not because she refused him, but why she refused him. I thought that that was just very mature of both her and you. Oh, and I really hope no one dies! Can't you do something where they realize that not all visions are real? Because if one of your lovely characters dies, I think I might die. Really and truly. And if Hermione's vision proves true, I KNOW I'll die. So, to not be the sole cause of my impending doom, UPDATE!
TGL- Well, I can't give out any spoilers, but I think you'll like the way this story will progress. Thanks for the great review.
Lama- (March 21, 2004, chapter 13) meh, you haven't lost me. i think it made it more interesting.
TGL- YAY! Thank you for the review!
Levna Rountree (3-28, chapter 14) Thanks again for a great fic. I cried too. Always do when characters are hurt or in pain, I guess it shows how well the characters are written as well as how well readers love the story. Can't wait for the next enstallment...
TGL- You do not need to be thanking me. I should be thanking you. I love the feedback I get from you guys! Thanks!
RADKA (4-29, chapter 14) Âéâëßï áðü óêïôÜäé? Shouldn't that be Âßâëïò ôïõ "êüôïõò or some such?
TGL- I'm going to assume that you're being serious. What you see above is what I'm looking at right now. FF.net did not like Greek text, so it butchered it a little bit. If you'd like, I can send you the original word file so you can see what it was supposed to look like. Just email me and let me know. Thanks for the review!
Risi- (3-21, chapter 13) Sniff sniffle sob. (wah!) Okay, I'm done. I have to admit I didn't expect Albus to die, but I understand that sometimes when you need a story to go where you want, sometimes a favorite character is going to have to bite the big one. I suppose I'll even recover if JKR decides to kill off Snape, not that there won't be a whole lot of weeping and wailing going on. I'm just hoping she doesn't decide to make him evil and working for Voldemort after all. I'll be very dissapointed then, it sort of ruins the whole redemption theme. But, anyway, Dumbledore mentioned a book with no title. I'm sure it's important, I just hope Hermione remembers about it.
TGL- JKR WILL NEVER kill off Snape. If she does, I'll go after her myself! Hermione has remembered the untitled book and, relax, there's no way in hell I'm going to turn Snape evil. I can only hope that JKR won't do the same (I donl' think that she will.)
(3-22, chapter 1) You know I keep forgetting things I want to mention, perhaps I should start keeping notes when I read. ;-) Anyway, the only Lenore I can think of that had any reference to birds also is Poe's The Raven. I think, though, there was also a Beetlejuice cartoon episode that featured Poe, Lenore and a raven.
TGL- CONGRATS! The Lenore/Bird line was a direct reference to the literary work of the Raven by E.A.P! I don't doubt the possibility of the existence of a Beetlejuice cartoon with a Raven, but that wasn't what I was referencing. ;)
(4-15, chapter 15) Fudge is trying to make more Dementors? What maggot crawled into his brain to give him that idea? Was the dead auror a sacrifice and have there been others? How can he justify that?
That was a scary vision Hermione had, I just hope it wasn't a prophetic one.
I was suprised Moody didn't turn them in, but maybe he has an inkling that something isn't right in the ministry and figures Snape is the lesser of the evils.
Looking forward, as always, to the next part and good luck. I hope everything gets resolved soon and to your favor.
TGL- HEE HEE! I'm typinjg woithynb my gtoes! Okay, I'm done with that now! "What maggot…" LOL! I hope this answers your question. Moody didn't turn them in because (1.) he knows that Snape was working for the Order and (2.) He knows that something weird is going on as well.
(4-28, chapter 16) You left us at a cliff hanger, or edge of seat hanger since that's where I was at the end. I hope those pictures turn out and they got some of the dementors emerging. Whose voice called out? Looking forward to the next spine tingling chapter. :-)
TGL- LOL! You'll just have to wait to see if the pics come out!
Sofa Girl (4-21, chapter 13) I dun hate you! I think that Dumbledore had to die eventually anyways, like you said, he isn't a God. I actually enjoy endings which are kinda sad, rather than everyone survives and lived happily ever after. ;) Your imagery is really powerful though, the room, and the almost blatant description, as well as comparing the smell of the room Dumbledore was in with the smell of death which Hermione had smelled before. I love this story so far! Gonna continue reading now...
TGL- Thanks!
(4-21, chapter 15) I finished the story. The way you write really makes everything seem more horrific than before. I'm alot more scared of dementors now than when I read the original Harry Potter books. They seem even more evil than Voldemort himself. (shudder).
On a more cheerful note, I hope you update soon, I rly want to know what happens next!!
TGL- In my opinion, the Dementors ARE more evil than Voldie, namely because they survive off of devouring the essence of men. I hope you like this chapter.
(5-08, chapter 16) Erg. I think I'll go be sick like Hermione. This is a rly scary fic. Fudge is twisted, (We all love a common enemy), dementors are just scaring the hell out of me. Next I'll be getting nightmares (Not your fault though, I decided to continue reading after all)
:P
I rly do hope the next chapter rocks. Plz update soon!
TGL- Thanks! It's nice to know that I'm conveying what I think in the right way. Let me know what you think of this chapter!
Sonnybonns (3-21, chapter 13) Don't worry. I'm one reviewer who knows what you mean about killing off Dumbledore. I don't think you'll lose as many readers as you think and I like the way your story has been going even if he does die. Keep writing this story, it's awesome.
TGL- Surprisingly enough, I didn't get flamed once for killing off Albus. I was sort of shocked myself! Thanks for the great review!
Swati (5-15, chapter 7) good stuff, but ch. 7 - parvati twins? i do believe it's patil.
TGL- You know what? You're the first person to notice that. I hadn't even realized that I did it. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it when I get a chance.
Sweetevangeline (3-21, chapter 13) Of course not. Unless it's wasted. Just go somewhere with it, use it as development and just not for shock value.
The thing about fanfiction is that the author can do whatever they want. The events are based on a specific universe. Sometimes you just have to suspend your thoughts on storyline. And, for a good story (like yours), that's sometimes pretty easy.
Besides, Dumbledore isn't getting any younger. It's going to happen someday. Possibly in the next two books. So. No big thing.
TGL- YAY! Another supporter! You rock, Evangeline, I don't think I've told you that recently enough!
(3-28, Chapter 14) Oh, back to the icky room we go. I think it's interesting that you've decided to go this way and I can't wait to see how it turns out.
TGL- I didn't choose to go this way without a HUGE wrestling match with my conflicting muses. I hope this chapter is worth it!
Tangerine Python (4-28, chapter 16) Absolutly fantastic Grey Lady, you have a great way with disturbing imagery. My visuals of 'the room' were pretty strong the first time around but this visit was gut wrenching (in every respect of the word).
The Walmart (Im in Australia, we have Kmart) smash and grab and the preperations for fugitive-hood (well, even more than they already are)was nice and tight, frought with the tension and hedonism that must come from having nothing to loose. It and the raid to the room itself reminded me alot of the atmosphere created in the Tommorow series created by John Marsden, if you ever have a chance to read his work, I think you would really enjoy them, truly addictive stuff.
On the same note I am really Ron is great in this fic. I think that we SS/HG'ers tend to vilify or dumb down Ron (or you know, just kill him) and here he's not only a reasonable adult but an important member of the group, showing a lot of his cannon traits to good effect.
Okay enough gushing for now, I do have one minor glitchy thing, if Severus is holding onto the guard when Hermione tases him then Im pretty sure that he would get electrocuted too (my source reference - Batman Returns), a case of "whoops sorry about that".
I think I have a parenthesis addiction, I wonder if they make a patch?
TGL- I don't believe I've read anything by John Marsden, I'll definitely have to check up on him. I love addictive writing. I also have a real dislike for moron!Ron, so I wanted to write him as a well developed character. Also, my source on the taser info informed me that one the electricity would not jump from one person to another (only the target of the shock would be affected) but I acknowledge that he could possibly be wrong. Thanks for reading and for leaving such a great review!
Tomato (06-05, chapter 16) whoa. i almost didn't read this coz you got relatively few reviews. BUT. i decided to give it a chance and i'm so glad i did. great job. very well thought and nicely woven.
TGL- Well, on ff.net, I've only got 80-something reviews as of now but on L&Lsnape and aff.net, I've got somewhere around 300 (I think) I'm glad you decided to give my fic and shot and even happier that you like it!
Wandlimb (3-21, chapter 13) Just wanted to let you know that this story is currently one of my favorites. I saw from your author's notes that you are feeling a bit insecure, but your characterizations are right on target, and I'm enjoying the slow build up of SS and HG's relationship. The night in the tree keeping away from werewolves was one of my favorites, as was the one where they admitted their feelings for one another. It's a very good read, even if Albus had to die. I always look forward to updates. Thanks for sharing.
TGL- I'm a favorite! HOORAY! Thanks for your support, I did get really insecure about not only my character choices but the situations I was leading them into. You rock. Thanks a bunch!