Rating- R, for language and (finally) slashified goodness (it's not explicit yet, but it is slash!)
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.....bastards.
Authoress Ramblings- Bonjourno everyone! I know, I know....a lot of you are probably dissapointed with how the last chapter was....to tell the truth I'm dissapointed! I know, I know...it's a humor story, and the last chapter was NOT humorous....you do not have to tell me, I wrote it. But here's the deal- I really wanted to take a break from Draco and Harry.....I was starting to run out of ideas! But I went back, did some thinking and came up with my newest diabolical scheme. MUWAHAHA! Anymoose, appy polly loggies again for the craptacular chapter before this one. Now to thank my beautiful reviewers!
Bryjin- I'm glad you didn't give up on me...I'm really happy, hee hee!
Bad-Azz-SlytherinChaos- You are about to find out what Harry and Draco do when they're drunk...MUWAHAHAHA! I don't think I would like it if my school were like that, because if it were there'd be more fighting then there already is! But, then again, I win most fights I get into. So, you think you're bi? Understandable....a lot of people don't know until people give them a nudge (or in my case a shove and a push). I'm on AIM more-or-less constantly....When are you on AIM? OH! If you want you could also IM me at yahoo, my sn is the same as for AIM. I hope to talk to you soon, Jessica!
Dibs- You should be very disturbed most of the really humorous stuff actually happened.....but at the same time highly amused! And yes, I love the giant drag queen idea, and I will use it in the next chapter. Thank you, I'm glad you like the story so far!
TheForbiddenChild22- Yes, I love how the story started off as well....I really need to bring that journal back, don't I?
Fugz- ::Sweatdrops:: You gave me a shit loud of reviews in my other story.....you are crazy, lolo. You will not BELIEVE how long it took me to get those random facts! It took like, FOREVER AND A HALF! Well, I can't believe anyone would beat up anyone, but it happens anyway....besides, Hermione's getting beaten up by a fellow girl, so it's okay.
LoverofSugar- The ferret and Potter are doing......well........you'll see. Lolo. Hope you ate something if you're hungry!
Parvait- Yes, I know my ramblings are as long as my writing....and yeah, it sucks dookie. I just like to answer everyone's reviews, and frankly some of these chapters I can't make any longer for plot (and sanity) purposes. Don't worry......I'm going to try and make this chapter much longer, JUST for you. I mean it. Otherwise it would be a short little shit thing. Anymoose, thanks for reviewing, and I would like to comment that I don't think anyone really gave a crap what was happening to Ron and Hermione, but like I said, I was out of ideas for Harry and Draco.
Chapter 7- Karaoke 'Dance' Party
They didn't remember exactly how it had happened, but they were staying in a swanky hotel in Viva Las Vegas. The lights, the people....the booze! Already Harry had downed seven scotch and sodas, and Draco had had more then his fair share of White Russians. The two boys had gone from buzzed, to tipsy, to full blown drunk off their rockers within thirty minutes. At the moment they were at the bar, and singing rather loudly....
"STREETS LIKE A JUNGLE, SO CALL THE POLIIIIICE! FOLLOWING THE HEEERD, OUT TO GREECE....ON HOLIDAY!!!!!!! LOVE IN THE NINETIEEEEES...IS PARANOOOOID! ON SUNNY BEEEEEACHES...TAKE YOUR CHAAAAANCES LOOKING FOR-GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS, WHO LIKE BOYS TO BE GIRLS, WHO DO BOYS LIKE THEY'RE GIRLS, WHO DO GIRLS LIKE THEY'RE BOYS! ALWAYS SHOULD BE SOMEONE YOU REALLY LOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!" The two boys were hanging over one another and singing in very heavy, very slurred accents and gulping down their booze. Actually, Harry was fighting back hearty bursts of laughter, while Draco was belting out the lyrics at random people walking by. The golden boy sat back heavily on his bar stool and was gradually turning red as he watched the other boy dance around and scream out the lyrics to 'Girls vs. Boys'. "AVOIDING ALL WOOOOORK, 'CAUSE THERE'S NONE AVAILABLLLLLE! LIKE BATTERY THINKERRRRRS, COUNT YOUR THOOOOUUUUUUGHTS, ON ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR....FIVE FINGERS! NOTHING IS WAAAASTED.....ONLY REPRODUUUUCED! YOU GET NASTY BLIIIIISTERS, DU BIST SEHR SCHON, BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED!!!!!!!!!!"
Harry spat out a mouthful of scotch and soda onto the bartender, and fell onto the ground laughing as Draco put his finger entirely into his mouth in a suggestive manner at the 'you get nasty blisters' line. The bartender angrily pointed to the door out of the bar, which lead into another room with karaoke machines. The boy-who-lived and the heir to the Malfoy fortune stumbled drunkenly into the karaoke bar, and were met by the many stares of fur-coated propers trying to enjoy a nice, relaxing vacation in Vegas.
Harry was the first to regain composure enough to realize that they were standing in front of a stage with an audience.....well, natural urges are so hard to control, non? It didn't take long before he was requesting a song and heading up to the stage. He grabbed a hold of the microphone and smiled drunkenly to the audience, only to receive a rather bitter look in return. He ignored the looks, however, as he was frightfully drunk, and just went along with the beat of the music....that is, until he remembered he was in a karaoke bar, and he began to sing.
"I am the ex-offender, they let me out in the summer......I think I was in a coma; I didn't know what to do, oh no." Harry slurred out with a thick tongue, mysteriously managing to still sound out each syllable. "Go round, go round, go round! I'll watch myself, hang on, look out for the bugman!" Harry sang while spinning around dizzily. "Go round, go round, go round, I watch myself hang on, look out for the bugman!!!"
Draco, who was sitting at a table with some very huffy propers, began to drum on the table loudly in time with the music. He was also mumbling drunkenly to people around him, mostly saying this such as 'He's with me, but we're not married' and 'Don't you just want to hurt him?'. The propers exchanged frightened looks before leaving Draco alone to his 'drumming'.
The golden boy, however, went on singing. "I got no sense of existence...I know the nodding dogs. I go out in the city, I stay away from the bugs!" Harry then repeated his spinning, only this time stumbled as he stopped and nearly fell over. "Go round, go round, go round! I'll watch myself, hang on, look out for the bugman! Buh-uh-uh-ug man! The buh-uh-uh-ug man! The buh-uh-uh-uh-ug man!!!!!!!!!!" Harry slurred out, then began to bang his head in time to the music, while Draco cheered and cat-called. "I go out in the city! I stay away from the bugs, oh yeah!" Harry was spinning 'round and 'round once more, singing loudly into the microphone. "I go out in the cit-ay! I go out in the cit-ay!!! Look out for the bugman! Look out for the bugman!" The boy-who-lived abruptly stopped and stared down the crowd with cloudy eyes. "Stay away from the (ooo ooo) bugs......stay away from the (ooo ooo)....BUGS." The music went on, bombarding the ears of the propers, and peeving them just a wee bit. Harry didn't seem to notice, or care, as he lay on the stage and wriggled around oddly. "Space is the place.....space is the place! Space is the play-hay-hace, space is the place...." He mumbled on into the microphone as the music finally came to an end.
The blonde of the two boys clapped and whistled above the angry murmurs traveling among the propers, then stood up and practically ran over to the stage. Draco began to poke and prod Harry until he got up off of the stage and joined the propers in the audience. Draco half skipped, half stumbled over to the request booth, then moved to the stage, where he mussed up his hair and grabbed the microphone. "WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Harry laughed obnoxiously at his 'accomplice', and lit a lighter he bought at Wal-Mart.
Draco flipped off the other boy, which greatly upset a few propers that decided it was high time to leave. The propers remaining were grumbling to each other bitterly. A few were about to tell Draco off, when they were blown back by drumming and a guitar blasting through the speakers. The propers wildly shot their heads towards the stage, and watched as the blonde began to jump around insanely. What really blew them back, however, was what song the blonde chose....
"Right! Now.......ahahahaha!" Draco gave the propers a very nasty smirk, then began to sing loudly into the mic. "I am an anti-Christ! I am an anarchist! Don't know wot I want, but I know how to get it! I wanna destroy passer by, 'cos IIII, wanna beeeee yeah! Anarchyyyyy! No dogs funny!" The propers were speechless...and frankly, they were scared shitless. "Anarchy for the UK, it's coming sometime and maybe, I give a wrong time stop a traffic line, your future dream is a shopping scheme! Cause IIII......wanna beeee.....anarchyyyyyy!"
Harry in the meantime had jumped on top of one of the tables, where he jumped about as wildly as Draco. "It's in the city!" Draco went on, only now he was starting to get a bit violent with his 'dancing'. So far he had knocked over the mic stand, kicked in an amplifier and was in the process of kicking another in. Still, he slurredly sang on.
"How many ways to get what you want?! I use the best, I use the rest! I use the enemy, I use ANARCHY! Cause IIII.....wanna beeee.......anarchy! It's the only way to be!!!!!!" Draco jumped off of the stage entirely as the music trudged on, and jumped atop one of the proper's tables, where he began kicking the glasses over. he crouched down so he was nearly at eye-level with a small group of propers, then continued singing. "Is this the MPLA? Or is this the UDA? Or is this the IRA?! I thought it was the UK!" A few propers exchanged frightened and confused looks, but stopped when Draco slammed his hand onto the table in font of them. "Or just ! Another council tenancy!!!"
Harry was laughing madly as Draco sang on (only now he was on the floor, as he fell off the table a while ago). "IIIIII wanna beeeee.......anarchyyyyyy! And IIIII, wanna beeeee......anarchyyyy!!!!! Oh what a name!!!!!" Draco jumped up from his crouching position and jumped on the (now unsteardy) table. "IIIIII, wanna beee....YEAH! An anarchist!!!! I get pissed, DESTROYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" With this Draco yanked on the table cloth to the table, only he was standing on it. Unfortunately the blonde, along with the table, fell to the ground.
The last of the propers left with disgusted looks on their faces, yelling out things such as 'How rude!' and 'This is the last time we have a funeral get-together in THIS town!'. Draco and Harry laughed painfully on the floor, but stopped when they were pulled into the air by security and thrown out of the karaoke bar. The two boys stared at one another, then burst into a furious fit of giggles.
"Oh my Merlin that was priceless! Didjou see their faces? They were SO scared!" Draco fumbled out quickly to Harry, who nodded madly and laughed harder then before.
The two boys shakily rose from the ground, clung to one another and headed over to the elevators. It took a good five minutes to calm down their giggling enough to concentrate on what floor they were staying on, and another fifteen or so to remember which room all together they were staying in. After a good deal of bickering, giggling and stumbling, the boys finally made it to their hotel room.
Harry lay lounging on the bed......actually, he was slightly hopping because the other boy was jumping up and down in a rush to burn his excess energy. "You look so ffffffucking childish." Harry grumbled out, even though he had a smile plastered onto his face.
Draco looked down at Harry while hopping about, stuck out his tongue and fell onto the bed beside Harry. He sat cross-legged while lightly hopping until Harry put a hand on his knee to make him stop. The blonde started wildly down at Harry, and poked the boy in his stomach, who squeaked in response. "Oooh, sensitive are we?" Before Harry could protest, Draco was kneeling beside him and giving him pokes all over his chest. "Say 'uncle'!"
Harry fought off the poking as best he could....then Draco began to tickle him. "UNCLE! Uh-uncle, aha!" Harry sputtered out between hearty bursts of laughter. Draco obliged to his cries and stopped tickling the boy, only to yelp in surprise as he was shoved back onto the bed. "Now you'll get yours....." The raven-haired of the two muttered as he began to tickle the other boy trapped in his clutches.
"N-no! N-not th- aha! Not there!" Draco squealed as Harry began to tickle his sides, neck and back. "Th-that's sensitive!" He cried out over the other's maddening giggles.
Harry quirked an eyebrow as he laughed on. "Sensitive? How sensitive are we talking?"
The blonde grasped his chest, wiped a few tears from his eyes from laughing so hard, and tried his best to calm down. "It's sensiti-tive." Draco stuttered. He looked up at the other boy's face, who was smiling and held a mischevious glint in his eyes. All Draco could do was gulp before Harry was running his hands over the said 'sensitive' spots. "No..r-really...you shou-" Draco tried to say, but his mind was slowly floating away.
At first the boy-who-lived thought Draco's reactions were a laugh riot, but soon he thought they were VERY interesting. Instead of squirming underneath him, the blonde had his eyes closed and was looking quite content. Harry stopped his supposed attack on the other boy, who in return hissed under his breath. "You're sensitive.......how?"
Pale lids quickly slid open to reveal nervous gray eyes that were fixated on Harry's confused emerald ones. Draco tried looking down, but with the view he was given (his and Harry's crotches) he decided to look to the side instead. "I......er......"
It was bad enough that alcohol was flooding his mind.....but in addition to what Harry had been doing, eh wasn't thinking straight.....and in more then one way, too. "Er......they're....uh....turn-on spots." He finally mumbled out. He shut his eyes tight in wait of Harry to do something.....get off of him, tell him he's sick.....something along those lines. He was quite surprised when he felt hands rubbing his 'spots' once more. "Wh-....what?" He finally spluttered to the other boy. When he got no response he turned his head to face Harry, who had the same smile on his face.
The raven haired boy reduced the distance between them while his hands moved slowly up and down Draco's sides. "I've kind-of wanted to do this for a while...." Harry slurred out to the other boy. "Is it okay?"
Draco's eyes fluttered closed as he nodded. "Ffffeeeeel ffffffreeeeee......" Was all he could say. He slowly opened his eyes in time to see the other boy lean down and close the distance between them with a kiss. Draco's eyes shut while his arms snaked around Harry's neck. Colors were flooding his eyes, music seemed to fill his mind, and scotch suddenly became the greatest taste to ever invade his mouth.
Oh I am so fucking evil....so evil. I leave you with them kissing on a bed in Vegas........BWAHAHAHA! Anyway, I would like to apologize for the length it took for me to get this chapter out.....you see, I was gone for a week on vacation, and it took me a long time to get my bearings back. But I finally did it....I FINALLY made a longish chapter.....trust me, this one is a lot longer then others. It was also unbelievably hard to write! So for those of you complaining that my chapter are too short, or I took too long to update, just remember this.....for me, I just typed out FIVE, count 'em FIVE pages or story, so deal with the fact they get shorter on , because I am SICK of working on this chapter. On a lighter note, I finally added the slash....if you don't like slash then die. No, I'm just playing! All I request is that you DO NOT flame my story for the reason it contains slash....if you do I will be extremely angered. I am so sick of people doing that....it's just rude. Anyhow, thanks ahead of time for reviewing, and I leave you with some notes on the chapter!
Scotch and soda- Okay.....we probably all know the song 'Stacy's Mom' and the theme to Crank Yankers was done by Fountains of Wayne.....but they have other (and better) songs. On the album 'Welcome Interstate Managers', they have a song called 'Bright Future in Sales', where the song goes "Sleepin' on a planner at the port authority/Waiting for my bus to come/seven scotch-and-sodas at the office party..." so on and so forth.....anyway, that's where I got the drink for Harry. It's a great song, check it out, by the way.
White Russian- If you read my other story 'Cleaning My Closet' you would know a White Russian is vodka mixed with cream....from my understanding. Anyway, I saw the movie 'The Big Lebowski', and in it The Dude constantly drinks these things.....again, I had to pay homage to the greats, right? Also, one of the movies they bought is 'The Big Lebowski'.....check it out, it's awesomely good.
Streets like a jungle.....- This is a song by Blur called 'Girls vs. Boys'.
Draco put his finger entirely into his mouth....- Yes yes....okay, in the video to 'Girls vs. Boys', the lead singer of Blur (Damon Albarn) immersed his entire finger into his mouth at the 'you get nasty blisters' line.....I thought it was so funny that I had Draco do it, too.
Propers- This is a term I made up for high-class, swanky rich snobs. I don't hate propers.....I can't because my dad's side of the family is full of them.....but whatever, I dislike the idea of them.
I am the ex-offender....- Well in case you didn't guess the name of the song is 'Bugman', another wonderful song by Blur. It's really fun to go insane to, and it sounds really weird. I also drew a picture to this song, so I felt like having SOMEONE sing it.
I am an anti-Christ...- Oh my GODS you people are sad if you do not know this song. It's 'Anarchy in the UK' by The Sex Pistols. it's wonderfully punk, and I am in love with Johnny Rotten's singing....I simply am. He rolls every 'r', and I fucking love it. Listen to these songs, by the way, if you have not already!
...exchanged frightened and confused looks....- Ah yes....they're afraid of Draco's song (and him) naturally, but why confused? Here's the deal; Las Vegas is in America, and Draco just sang 'I thought this was the UK', which implies he might think he's still in the United Kingdom.
This is the last time we have a funeral get-together....- Again...paying homage. There's a show called 'Six Feet Under' where one of the episodes a funeral home get-together is held in Las Vegas...I liked the idea of the propers working for funeral homes....I'm not sure why, but I do.
...poked the boy in the stomach, who squeaked in response.- I like to poke people. Pokey poke poke. It's fun. Anyway, my friend Claire squeaks whenever you poke her, wherever you poke her....it's great fun.
"Say 'uncle'!"- GODS I hate being tickled. Growing up whenever my parental units would tickle me, they would make me scream 'uncle', and then they had the fucking guts to make me guess which fucking uncle. I hate this game with a passion....yet I put it in.
Sides, neck and back- Ah yes....Draco's turn-on spots. Those are actually my turn-on spots.....seriously, try ghosting your hands over these spots...it feels gooooooooood.
...scotch suddenly became the greatest taste....- I felt like adding this in to remind you all that Harry drank SEVEN, count 'em SEVEN scotch-and-sodas.....he's gonna seriously taste like scotch.
Well, that concludes this chapter! The next one will come in sooner, I PROMISE!