L'Enfant Préoccupé
Chapter Two - Through My Eyes
When Severus saw that the memory was over, he slowly eased himself out of his trance. He had expected to be able to question the boy about the memory, but instead found himself looking at a quivering Harry lying on the ground shaking. Harry was mumbling incoherently to himself, it was if re- living the memory had caused him to go into shock.
Severus rushed over to Harry and kneeled down next to him. When shaking didn't work, Severus said quietly, "Potter," then louder and more forcefully, "Potter! Wake up!" As if responding in class, Harry slowly opened his eyes. Instead of the grateful reply that Severus had expected, he got something much worse.
"How. Dare. You." Harry said, his voice full of anger and venom, "how dare you." He repeated again.
Severus could think of no reply for what he had seen. All he could think about was why Harry had never told anyone. Why would he keep something like this from even his own mind? While Severus was thinking he saw Harry slowly get up and walk out into the hall. Severus made no move to stop him, but instead walked over to his desk and took out a snifter of brandy.
Severus woke the next morning and slowly dressed for breakfast. He still hadn't decided what he was going to do about Harry. His loathing for the boy made it twice as difficult. It would be so easy not to say anything, and just let the boy relive the memory over and over again with no one to talk to. Sadly, the little known about, good side was starting to take over. Severus knew that he should talk to Harry privately. He knew that he should try and help the boy. He knew that he should get him away from his uncle's home. 'How do the kind survive?' He thought to himself.
Severus's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Harry walk into the Great Hall. He went over and sat with his friends, Weasly and Granger, as usual, but there was something different then most mornings. It looked as though Harry had not slept at all last night. He was extremely pale and had large, purple, bags under his eyes. Severus doubted if his self- centered friends would even notice that something was wrong.
"Severus, is something on your mind this morning?" Albus Dumbledore interrupted his thoughts with his usual cheerful morning banter.
"No." Was the un-courteous reply given by Severus as he continued to stare at Harry. It seemed as if his friends had yet to guess that Harry was being plagued by his invisible demons.
Severus spent the rest of the morning thinking about Harry, something that he usually would never do. Unless, of course, he was thinking of all the ways that the boy was destroying his little free time. When the first bell finally did ring, and Severus was forced to go and start his first class, second year Gryffindor-Slytherin potions.
He walked quickly down towards the dungeons, his cloak billowing behind him, and brushed passed the chatty students. "Everyone, take your seats. Today we will be brewing a dreamless sleep potion, the instructions are on the board. Begin." After the collective groan, the students began to work. Walking the aisles and taking points was just enough to get Severus's mind off of things for a while. He had to deal with two cauldron explosions, four sick students, and one fight. By the time that class was over, Severus had several cuts and bruises.
Harry had spent most of the night sitting in bed hugging his knees. He had tried so hard to forget the memory of his rape, and had done a pretty nice job of it. Now, thanks to Snape, it had all come flooding back into his mind. All of the pain, the embarrassment, and the shame was flowing freely through his mind.
It took all of his will not to cry out when he relived that moment when his uncle had entered him. Harry had pretended to be asleep when Ron and the rest of his dorm-mates had made their way to bed. When he was convinced they were all sound asleep, he slowly crept out of bed and had spent the rest of the night in an over- stuffed chair by the fire with Crookshankes curled up on his lap. Staring into the flames seemed to ease his pain slightly.
When not thinking about the previous summer, Harry's thoughts drifted towards his potions professor. Harry wondered what Snape was going to do, and what he must be thinking of him. 'He probably thinks I deserved it!' Harry thought. Harry dreaded seeing his professor again, for it probably gave Snape another reason to make his life a living hell.
When Harry realized people were starting to wake up for the day, he pushed the purring cat off his lap and made his way over to the showers. When Ron spotted him he came over and struck up a conversation, 'Hello, mate! D'you wake up early?"
"Yeah, I went down and played a one sided game of Wizard's Chess."
"Sounds like fun." Ron had no idea, and Harry was fine with that. He didn't need anyone else realizing how disgusting he was.
After his shower, Harry made his way down to breakfast. He wasn't hungry, but he didn't need to deal with the questions if he didn't show up. He sat through the meal listening to Ron and Hermione argue over something trivial. He didn't care, the only thing that he did notice that morning was Snape staring at him.
Chapter Two - Through My Eyes
When Severus saw that the memory was over, he slowly eased himself out of his trance. He had expected to be able to question the boy about the memory, but instead found himself looking at a quivering Harry lying on the ground shaking. Harry was mumbling incoherently to himself, it was if re- living the memory had caused him to go into shock.
Severus rushed over to Harry and kneeled down next to him. When shaking didn't work, Severus said quietly, "Potter," then louder and more forcefully, "Potter! Wake up!" As if responding in class, Harry slowly opened his eyes. Instead of the grateful reply that Severus had expected, he got something much worse.
"How. Dare. You." Harry said, his voice full of anger and venom, "how dare you." He repeated again.
Severus could think of no reply for what he had seen. All he could think about was why Harry had never told anyone. Why would he keep something like this from even his own mind? While Severus was thinking he saw Harry slowly get up and walk out into the hall. Severus made no move to stop him, but instead walked over to his desk and took out a snifter of brandy.
Severus woke the next morning and slowly dressed for breakfast. He still hadn't decided what he was going to do about Harry. His loathing for the boy made it twice as difficult. It would be so easy not to say anything, and just let the boy relive the memory over and over again with no one to talk to. Sadly, the little known about, good side was starting to take over. Severus knew that he should talk to Harry privately. He knew that he should try and help the boy. He knew that he should get him away from his uncle's home. 'How do the kind survive?' He thought to himself.
Severus's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Harry walk into the Great Hall. He went over and sat with his friends, Weasly and Granger, as usual, but there was something different then most mornings. It looked as though Harry had not slept at all last night. He was extremely pale and had large, purple, bags under his eyes. Severus doubted if his self- centered friends would even notice that something was wrong.
"Severus, is something on your mind this morning?" Albus Dumbledore interrupted his thoughts with his usual cheerful morning banter.
"No." Was the un-courteous reply given by Severus as he continued to stare at Harry. It seemed as if his friends had yet to guess that Harry was being plagued by his invisible demons.
Severus spent the rest of the morning thinking about Harry, something that he usually would never do. Unless, of course, he was thinking of all the ways that the boy was destroying his little free time. When the first bell finally did ring, and Severus was forced to go and start his first class, second year Gryffindor-Slytherin potions.
He walked quickly down towards the dungeons, his cloak billowing behind him, and brushed passed the chatty students. "Everyone, take your seats. Today we will be brewing a dreamless sleep potion, the instructions are on the board. Begin." After the collective groan, the students began to work. Walking the aisles and taking points was just enough to get Severus's mind off of things for a while. He had to deal with two cauldron explosions, four sick students, and one fight. By the time that class was over, Severus had several cuts and bruises.
Harry had spent most of the night sitting in bed hugging his knees. He had tried so hard to forget the memory of his rape, and had done a pretty nice job of it. Now, thanks to Snape, it had all come flooding back into his mind. All of the pain, the embarrassment, and the shame was flowing freely through his mind.
It took all of his will not to cry out when he relived that moment when his uncle had entered him. Harry had pretended to be asleep when Ron and the rest of his dorm-mates had made their way to bed. When he was convinced they were all sound asleep, he slowly crept out of bed and had spent the rest of the night in an over- stuffed chair by the fire with Crookshankes curled up on his lap. Staring into the flames seemed to ease his pain slightly.
When not thinking about the previous summer, Harry's thoughts drifted towards his potions professor. Harry wondered what Snape was going to do, and what he must be thinking of him. 'He probably thinks I deserved it!' Harry thought. Harry dreaded seeing his professor again, for it probably gave Snape another reason to make his life a living hell.
When Harry realized people were starting to wake up for the day, he pushed the purring cat off his lap and made his way over to the showers. When Ron spotted him he came over and struck up a conversation, 'Hello, mate! D'you wake up early?"
"Yeah, I went down and played a one sided game of Wizard's Chess."
"Sounds like fun." Ron had no idea, and Harry was fine with that. He didn't need anyone else realizing how disgusting he was.
After his shower, Harry made his way down to breakfast. He wasn't hungry, but he didn't need to deal with the questions if he didn't show up. He sat through the meal listening to Ron and Hermione argue over something trivial. He didn't care, the only thing that he did notice that morning was Snape staring at him.