I waited for her to leave my head. I bit the insides of my cheeks to remain calm. Calmer. I raised my hand again, trying to bring it down and snap her neck.
Her lovely neck.
I felt the guilt and shame flooding my body again. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd killed people before without a thought. Better looking ones.
She looked at me. I put my hand by my side, guilty, worried. "You do seem to have a problem."
I waited for her to tell me. She tossed off the rest of her wine and looked up at me, smoky eyes wide with fear. "Victor, you're in love."
I growled and jumped off the bed. "Can't be. I never have been."
Her eyes burned into me, her right hand toying with her almost empty wine glass, a bright red droplet caught in the stem. "Apparently, you are now."
It sizzled along my nerves. Unfortunately, it made sense. A lot of sense. Damn it.
"So, what does that mean?"
She put the glass on the floor and stared at her feet. "What do you want it to mean?"
I wrapped my paw around her chin and raised her head. "Don't go all Zen on me, Tessa. We know about me. How about you?"
She dropped the X-mask, that brisk "Don't touch me" air she put on around the X-men. Her eyes closed. "I might feel the same. I haven't bothered to analyze it." Her eyes hit mine hard when she opened them again. "I've been busy just feeling when I'm around you. Enjoying finally being able to be everything I am. But I don't know what it means. It's not like we can …"
"Do the traditional thing?" I laughed. Yeah. "Imagine the wedding." I snorted.
Course, the idea of a wedding was kinda perversely attractive. I could see the runt's face now.
Her eyes gleamed. "Imagine the kids."
I stopped and looked her over, the image of my ebony-haired lover pregnant doing interesting things to my insides. "I am."
Our eyes locked. The ideas were thrilling. Heady. Hot.
They'd never work.
She pulled her shirt off in one graceful, careless move, exposing the cuts and bites I'd left from our last time together. She traced the nip on her right shoulder. "Why'd you do that?"
I stayed in front of her and dropped to my knees. "I wanted to mark you." I sniffed along her jaw line. "I wanted to claim you before you went back to them." I teased her ear with my tongue. "Before you were swallowed up by other men."
She pulled me against her body, tilting so I could continue playing with her ear. "Then I have to come up with something we can do by the time we meet up in Canada."
"Fine." I picked her up and tossed her back onto the bed. "You're wearing too much."
***********************************
She smiled, blinking back a few tears. She did not like having to inhibit Victor's passion, but having yet more bite marks would make working with the X-men impossible.
She hissed as the soap hit a tender bite. He'd opened it earlier while he was stroking her body and licking at her. She hadn't minded at the time, but right now it stung.
He wanted children. She had to put her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing, then realized that probably no one could hear her and laughed till she cried. And people of different religious traditions thought THEY had problems when they decided to have them…
What if they got the worst aspects of both parents and were danger freaks with bad tempers?
What if they were furry telepaths?
What if the kids looked like Muppets?
She sighed and reached for her towel.
It was handed to her. She took it, smiling, and reached out with her mind to touch Victor.
Hello, Sage. Miss me? It wasn't Victor.
She let her body relax as his hands pressed against her upper chest and his claws extended. "Don't try messing with my head, traitor."
She activated her telepathy and reached out to Charles on their special emergency link while she savored the fear. "I wouldn't dream of it, Logan." Charles?
Tessa. What is wrong?
Please tell Logan to bring me back to the mansion so I can tell all of you at once.
"Good. Now, want to tell me why you've been coming here to fuck our enemy? A lot?"
Very well. I shall see you shortly.
"I have my reasons. I believe all of you should hear them back at the mansion." His arm muscles clenched and she felt his points touch her throat. She hoped they wouldn't puncture her skin. If Victor knew that Logan had cut her neck, the place he loved to bite the most …
He growled and pushed her out of the shower. Good. The skin of her neck remained clear. "Chuck says you'll come back with me and explain everything." His angry eyes raked her body, pausing on the scratches and bites on her lower neck and shoulders, and the bruise at her hip. "Knew you were up to something. The sudden overuse of perfume. How happy you got after your weekends away. The smell of blood the last two times you came back."
She walked into the bedroom and found her uniform lying on the bed. She looked back at the menacing form in her dark bathroom. "Wear it. And no smelly stuff this time. I want everyone to know what I do."
She gave a brief nod and skinned into her uniform, leaving most of the bites and scrapes open to the cool air. The moment of truth was here.
She hated to do it, but he was already involved. She had to let him know.
Victor?
Yeah. He was running free. He smelled damp earth and lilacs.
They found out.
He paused. I'll come get you.
No! She was frantic. Just let me try to explain.
He probably wasn't laughing out loud, but his response was overflowing with amusement. Sweetheart, there are some things ya just can't explain. I'll get you out of this.
Don't. Please. I want to try it this way.
I'm not gonna let you get killed because you want to try a "diplomatic solution," Tess. His mental voice was firm.
She sighed in defeat. Tell you what. I'll make you a deal.
This isn't a game.
No, you're right. It's not. She had to phrase this just right. I'll go back to the mansion and try things my way, but you track me and come along outside. I know the security measures there and where you can be without tripping them off. I'll keep you inside my head while I'm in there. If I need you…
If I decide you need me, I'm going in there. I'll be listening. She heard a muffled thought of "women" before he settled into the back of her mind.
He itched in there while Logan drove her back to the mansion, getting curious stares from other drivers on the road.
**********************************
So it isn't bad enough that I have to fall in love at all.
I have to fall in love with one of Xavier's.
I have to fall in love with one of Xavier's with a death wish.
About the only thing worse would be falling for Logan.
Yeah it's insane, but some sick fanfiction authors out there have innumerable silly stories where I fall for my son.
Okay, okay. I know I'm not his father.
The illusion that he is, though, the lies implanted by Weapon X, are the only thing keeping me from ripping his head off.
How dare he get so close to her.
How dare he leave his scent on her.
We're going to have to … talk … sometime about that. She's mine.
She's laughing at me now, inside her head. Says I'm silly. Says she wants me, not the runt. Makes some size comparisons that get me laughing.
Damn it.
She disappears inside the house. I try to project an innocent image. Just a simple jogger here, ma'am.
Nothing to fear from me. Nothing at all.
Right.
*******************************************
Keeping her feral lover busy inside her head, trying to find a way out of the mess she was currently up to her eyeballs in, and warding Logan off was keeping Sage's vast mental processes very well occupied. The adrenaline rush had grown as she got closer to the mansion. She was almost relishing being able, for once, to be completely honest with the team.
The usual suspects were all there, other than Remy and Rogue (off somewhere "together") and Bobby Drake (on loan to Alpha Flight). Jamie already had two duplicates, one who was cracking his knuckles and glaring at her while the other was eating a large candy bar. Rahne was in transitional form between wolf and girl. Warren, Betsy, Kurt, Hank, Jean, Scott, and Storm all waited, all ready to strike her down. She heard Logan's claws extend behind her as she entered. Only Charles appeared willing to hear her before arming to the teeth, and only Hank showed visible concern at her injuries.
"Goodness gracious, Tessa. Are you all right?" The blue furry man leaped down from his perch near Charles as she posed, waiting for an invitation before she sat down.
Charles nodded and she sat in the lone chair at the end of the table, the others shoving to get even farther away as she did, other than Jamie's hungry duplicate, who had moved on to a large sub. The original Jamie wrinkled his nose in disgust and ordered his copy to fall back. "I'm very well, Hank. I got all of these because I wanted them." She fingered her wounds gently, humor coming unbidden as he fell back, aghast. "But Charles knew from the beginning how I was. Didn't you, Charles?"
The man nodded. "I was fully aware that you had deep and dark desires, Tessa." His eyes flickered over her and his jaw tensed. "I had hoped, however, that you had found some expression of them which did not require a partner who was so far removed from our goals."
She leaned back in her chair. "I didn't share anything with him that he could use to harm the X-men as a whole."
She gave a faithful summary of their meeting in the bar just over a year ago, the continued meetings, the way she had looked forward to them, the precautions she took … all of it. Her enjoyment of the pain. Desire growing into more. She watched as their expressions shifted from distaste to disbelief, sorrow and disappointment. She waited for a response as she felt him growl inside.
I should break you out now.
Wouldn't work. I can't outrun Logan and he's right by me. She kept her amused smirk and looked around. No one wanted to meet her eyes. Jamie's duplicate finished his sub and licked his fingers.
I can take care of that problem for ya, little lady. He gave a chilling John Wayne imitation, but he had not yet made a move.
Wait.
Scott took a step toward her and attempted a challenging sneer. "So what are you going to do now, get married? Settle down?"
She decided to go with it. "Yes."
What?
"What?"
Why not? Alex Summers and Lorna made it work. They stayed on as adjuncts to the team …
You might have missed it, but I'm no straight arrow Summers.
The room exploded into noise as people argued with Charles or yelled mindlessly at her. She waited, relaxing in her chair. I know. That's why I … like you.
You were going to say love you.
Changed my mind. Scott pushed down on her arm rests, effectively pinning her, and touched his visor. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't use this."
She shrugged. "Because Victor would come in here and kill or maim people you care about."
Claws threatened her again from behind, pricking into her shoulder blades. She winced at the hot prickly pain and tried to compose herself. "Told you I should have just killed her off."
Charles' cool, controlled mental touch came, as expected. I shall have to close off your link with Sabretooth, Tessa.
Do not. He will take that as a sign that I am in danger.
I am not sure I can probe you with him there.
Do it anyhow.
She licked her lips. "Don't like that one? Okay. It would give Logan far too much pleasure."
Scott nearly forgot himself enough to smile, but cut off the impulse before he could lose his advantage. "Maybe I could call it his Christmas present."
What's going on in there? Tess?
Oh, what I might have expected. I'm being threatened, and Charles is probing me. No one has harmed me, though.
Then why'd you hurt?
No reason? She tried a smile herself as Logan growled at Scott for being a cheapskate. She lost it when Charles started firmly going through her memories of the last several hours.
Charles! You have always allowed me some privacy … She winced as he touched things she wanted to keep secret, even from herself. Her true desire to marry Victor. Her plans for their trip to Canada.
Apparently, I was in error when I permitted you to keep your sexual proclivities secret, Tessa. She could feel some embarrassment from him as he searched, but he was resolved to keep looking.
Victor growled again in her mind. You're hurting again.
He's probing me.
I don't like it. I'm coming in.
If you come in, you come in unarmed and quiet.
Silence. Scott sniped back at Logan that the man wouldn't know what to do with a good present even if he got him one.
Fine.
He broke off telepathic communication.
Victor?
Victor?
VICTOR?
He was not there. She panicked, but could not move. Charles had her firmly in hand, Scott and Logan had agreed to discuss Christmas later, and the alarms were going off as Victor approached the mansion. Jamie reabsorbed his gluttonous copy and went with the other, along with most of the other X-men, to capture her lover.
All she could do was remember and hope.
**********************************
I cut her off. She asked for a hell of a lot already.
I was joking earlier about marriage. Yeah, it'd be fun to see the reactions, but the reality wasn't something I was ready for.
I guess she was.
Hmph. Never guessed any woman would want to marry me. Hey, might as well take her up on it.
No time to get married anyway.
I walked around to the front gate.
Never run to your own destruction, right?
I leaped up and over the fence. I knew I tripped at least three alarms on the way in.
I hate the smell of cooking flesh. Especially when it's mine.
I wonder if they'll let me tell her before they kill me that I accepted her offer?
One sure way to find out.
They're boiling in there and burst out to meet me.
Nice to meet the family before you pop the question, isn't it?
I just drop and remember her sweet, throaty voice from this morning, holding my hands ready for the cuffs.
It's just pain. I've had three lifetimes full already.
The blue guy next to me's babbling about how the cuffs do something to my powers. Probably dampen or completely inhibit them. I ignore him and get to my feet.
"I need to see Tessa." I address the guy who seems to be in charge, a hard, aggressive guy with a smaller, wimpier twin standing beside him.
Big Blue starts laughing. So does Wolf-girl and Wings. The wimpier guy clears his throat, but the man I talked to answers. "I'll take you there."
The wimpy guy puts a hand on his shoulder, and he sinks back into the wimp. He sighs. "I didn't know any side of me was that crazy before, either."
So Xerox man isn't in charge. "Who's supposed to be in charge here?"
"My eminently confused captive, I am." Big Blue. Figures.
"So, can I see her, or do you need to lock me up first?"
He turns his head. "I am not in the habit of giving intruders, particularly violent and psychopathic ones, access to any of our team members."
I sigh. "I gotta ask her something."
"Perhaps you should let me ask her in your stead."
I shake my head and walk inside with him. "I'm the only one who asks people to marry me. Sorry."
He blinks. "I had the impression from our earlier dialogue that it was already settled."
I stop walking. "That was informal." And Tessa speaking out of turn. But I don't tell Blue that.
The X-Geeks push me, so I start walking again, though I'd rather gut the lot of them.
He nods slowly. "I shall do my best to persuade Charles to permit you a visitor in your room later."
********************************
When Charles had finished, she was unsettled and sick. Her mouth tasted dry and bitter. She retched, but thankfully did not bring anything up. Scott and Logan were watching her, as was Charles. He silently offered her a glass of water.
She felt dirty. He had been inside her mind, sharing her feelings, her thoughts. She swirled the water inside her mouth to cleanse it.
Silence grated on her. She swallowed and tried for some of her usual calm. "So, any more brilliant ideas, Professor?"
Hm. Apparently, calm was not something she could attain at the moment. She adjusted her goal to "sarcastic hostility" instead.
He looked five inches above her right shoulder and spoke to that point. "I am sorry, but you understand it was a possible security risk."
"I'm tired of understanding." She rose and began pacing restlessly. "I'm tired of waiting and holding back. I don't want what most of you do. I tried, Charles. I really did. But with Victor, I have finally found someone who, instead of recoiling from what I am, embraces it and makes me even more like me."
Logan moved abruptly. Scott leaned against the wall, watching her with the same neutral expression he used for most things. Charles blushed and avoided looking at anyone. "Are you certain we cannot be what you want?"
She laughed, a long, buoyant laugh, and waved a hand toward the group. "Just look at yourself, Charles. You can't look me in the eye. Logan probably is having a hard time restraining himself from just eliminating me. Poster boy for straight and narrow, Scott, couldn't relate to what I said any more than you can. He's truly your son more than anyone else's, isn't he?"
"I resent that," the man said quietly. The corners of his mouth turned down a fraction. "I was planning to wait until we were alone to ask, but I would ask you to stay."
She jerked to a halt and stalked over to him. "Why?"
Charles kept a concerned eye on Scott as the woman confronted him. Scott crossed his arms over his chest and responded, "Because a lot of the kids here think that being different means we'll reject them, too. I'd rather have the X-men be known for who we include, not for the people we exclude."
Logan raised an eyebrow. "Ya might have just earned yourself a Christmas present there."
Scott relaxed and let his arms fall to his sides. "Well, you know I live for your approval."
"Who doesn't?" He adjusted his hat and smirked. "So many fans, so little time."
Professor Xavier raised his head and looked at Tessa, really looked at her. He let out a short blast of air. "You know we cannot accept Sabretooth here."
She nodded, looking down at her hands, restlessly moving together before her eyes. She hadn't expected any kind of acceptance, particularly from Scott, and was amazed by Charles' turnaround.
"Perhaps, instead, we can propose a compromise. You drop down to adjunct status. I can always find you if there is need for your particular talents. You could set up a schedule with Scott of … training for our youth who need your capabilities. Your personal life can become … more of a focus, should you choose." Logan snorted and she smiled roguishly as Charles searched for a word to describe her personal affairs.
"My vacation is still coming up." Charles nodded, his skin changing back to its normal hue. "And of course, we will let you know about the wedding. Now, where is Victor?"
Scott's quiet snickers cut off, and he gestured for her to follow him.
The room was silent for a moment, then a guffaw split the silence, followed by a shout of laughter. Howls and sputters filled the empty space as the idea of Sabretooth and a wedding spurred more chortles and gasps for breath.