TWO
A/N Ok, I'm trying not to make her a ms. And now it's time for the disclaimer! How on earth could I forget it last chapter? Well, I did, so don't sue me!
Disclaimer: — Now, as we all know, I do own Artemis Fowl –
— Lawyer: (clears throat)
---(Whispers) If I give you a dollar?
---- No.
---- Five?
----- No.
----- Twenty?
---- No.
---- Fine! A million!
----- Really?
----- No. (Sighs) Can't bargain with these people. Well, as of yet, I still don't own Artemis Fowl. But I will, mark my words! .... A hundred?
----- No.
Now to the story!
Diana ran the two blocks to the enormous mansion, and, for the first time during solving a mystery, felt that this might just be real, not just some reasonable thing like cats moving around. The other times, well, she preferred not to speak of. Each time she would ask, "Did you hear that?", Max would mutter, "Paranoid!", disguised as a cough. Unsuccessfully.
She looked up at the house, but quickly dismissed her suspicions. It was probably most likely, like her mother said, some kid falling off his sled. But inside? She shook her head to clear it and stepped up to the door.
She knocked three times. Then three times again. No answer. Then, spotting it, she rang the doorbell just about a million times, to no avail. "Hello! Hello! You know, you might think you're high society, you know, with your little ... er... hors d' – d' – thingies! But I have something, something important to tell you!" she yelled, figuring no one was hearing anyway.
Finally, as she turned back toward her house to go and unpack the microwave, the heavy door squeaked open. A pale boy who reminded her of more than one horror flick stood at the doorway. "First of all, it's hors d'oeuvres. And I am ... how shall I put this... in the middle of something. So, please reveal what is of so high importance," he said with a smirk.
"Er.. er," Diana couldn't find the words. Not with a bodyguard three times her size standing nearby. "Hi," she said finally. "Uh.. er.. here."
Artemis raised his eyebrows and took the Jell-O to deposit in the garbage as soon as this visitor left. "Hello. Now that we are all acquainted, I have to ... get back to what I was doing," he said, slamming the door in her face not quite so politely. "Which in no way involves kidnaping, fairies, or a ton of gold," he added hurriedly.
Diana caught the door a centimeter before it closed, more than a little suspicious. Suddenly, she had a somewhat bright idea. "May I use your bathroom?" she asked innocently. Artemis narrowed his eyes. "Your house is two –," he began, but the manservant elbowed him. "She's not going to go away," he advised in a whisper.
Artemis sighed and said reluctantly, "Alright. Third door on the left," walking back towards the computer room, thinking nothing of her. A pretty big mistake.
Diana, of course, had no intention of going to the bathroom. She tiptoed up to the top floor, determined to find out what was going on here, opening each door on the way. She opened the attic door and peeked inside.
"Oh, there you are," said a voice from the large Victorian bed. Presumably Artemis's mother. "Where are my cucumber slices and water?"
Diana became slightly confused. "Excuse me?" she asked, trying to sound like there was nothing unusual about that request.
"You heard me. What am I paying you for?" said Mrs. Fowl. "Hurry! They're attacking!" And she dived under the covers.
Diana stepped outside, utterly perplexed and a little embarrassed, but all the same convinced that wasn't the voice that had cried for help. So, she went on to the next door, and the next, and the next after that, finding only floor-to-ceiling computers and shelves.
On the next floor, she opened another door a crack. A girl probably only a couple years older was jabbing at a punching bag with a picture of the kid downstairs Scotch-taped to it, muttering about carrots. She had heard of rich people being somewhat eccentric, but these were downright weird, she concluded as she closed the door as quietly as she could.
Apparently not quietly enough. The girl stopped her punching and came out to take a look, thankfully not spotting Diana crouching under the table in the hall. "Phew, that was close," she said, and turned to go down the winding staircase.
"Who said that?" Juliet whirled around. "BUTLER! There's somebody in the house!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. At this, Diana ran full speed through the house, checking the rest of the rooms, determined to make her escape before this "Butler" discovered her. She had no clue who this person was, but he or she sure sounded dangerous.
She peeked in the last room. Nobody. She sighed and turned towards the door. Her school counselor was probably right, she thought. She did have a way too overactive imagination.
As she walked towards the humongous front gate, she spotted another door leading down. She hesitated, biting her nails. If someone found out, she could be explaining to these people, and her parents, and.. maybe the police... and the FBI!
She shook her head. No, she decided, she'd just explain that she got lost. And, besides, they didn't even have the FBI here.
So, she climbed down the stairs carefully, down to the basement. She took a look around. It was all empty, except for .... a door in the wall. No, a safe. Cool! thought Diana, hoping she could slip some bucks into her pocket. She tried the lock once. It wouldn't give. And there were a million possible combinations, and math was her worst subject. She could be here until next week.
Suddenly, she spotted a piece of paper on the floor, reading:
Here is the combination, Juliet, in case you forgot. Which I know you did.
Happily, she punched in the sequence, expecting to see a mountain of cash. Or some expensive paintings, or vases, or ..... whatever it was that rich people collected.
Instead, inside, right before her eyes, seated on a tiny cot, was an even tinier creature. With very pointy ears.
A/N Ok, I'm trying not to make her a ms. And now it's time for the disclaimer! How on earth could I forget it last chapter? Well, I did, so don't sue me!
Disclaimer: — Now, as we all know, I do own Artemis Fowl –
— Lawyer: (clears throat)
---(Whispers) If I give you a dollar?
---- No.
---- Five?
----- No.
----- Twenty?
---- No.
---- Fine! A million!
----- Really?
----- No. (Sighs) Can't bargain with these people. Well, as of yet, I still don't own Artemis Fowl. But I will, mark my words! .... A hundred?
----- No.
Now to the story!
Diana ran the two blocks to the enormous mansion, and, for the first time during solving a mystery, felt that this might just be real, not just some reasonable thing like cats moving around. The other times, well, she preferred not to speak of. Each time she would ask, "Did you hear that?", Max would mutter, "Paranoid!", disguised as a cough. Unsuccessfully.
She looked up at the house, but quickly dismissed her suspicions. It was probably most likely, like her mother said, some kid falling off his sled. But inside? She shook her head to clear it and stepped up to the door.
She knocked three times. Then three times again. No answer. Then, spotting it, she rang the doorbell just about a million times, to no avail. "Hello! Hello! You know, you might think you're high society, you know, with your little ... er... hors d' – d' – thingies! But I have something, something important to tell you!" she yelled, figuring no one was hearing anyway.
Finally, as she turned back toward her house to go and unpack the microwave, the heavy door squeaked open. A pale boy who reminded her of more than one horror flick stood at the doorway. "First of all, it's hors d'oeuvres. And I am ... how shall I put this... in the middle of something. So, please reveal what is of so high importance," he said with a smirk.
"Er.. er," Diana couldn't find the words. Not with a bodyguard three times her size standing nearby. "Hi," she said finally. "Uh.. er.. here."
Artemis raised his eyebrows and took the Jell-O to deposit in the garbage as soon as this visitor left. "Hello. Now that we are all acquainted, I have to ... get back to what I was doing," he said, slamming the door in her face not quite so politely. "Which in no way involves kidnaping, fairies, or a ton of gold," he added hurriedly.
Diana caught the door a centimeter before it closed, more than a little suspicious. Suddenly, she had a somewhat bright idea. "May I use your bathroom?" she asked innocently. Artemis narrowed his eyes. "Your house is two –," he began, but the manservant elbowed him. "She's not going to go away," he advised in a whisper.
Artemis sighed and said reluctantly, "Alright. Third door on the left," walking back towards the computer room, thinking nothing of her. A pretty big mistake.
Diana, of course, had no intention of going to the bathroom. She tiptoed up to the top floor, determined to find out what was going on here, opening each door on the way. She opened the attic door and peeked inside.
"Oh, there you are," said a voice from the large Victorian bed. Presumably Artemis's mother. "Where are my cucumber slices and water?"
Diana became slightly confused. "Excuse me?" she asked, trying to sound like there was nothing unusual about that request.
"You heard me. What am I paying you for?" said Mrs. Fowl. "Hurry! They're attacking!" And she dived under the covers.
Diana stepped outside, utterly perplexed and a little embarrassed, but all the same convinced that wasn't the voice that had cried for help. So, she went on to the next door, and the next, and the next after that, finding only floor-to-ceiling computers and shelves.
On the next floor, she opened another door a crack. A girl probably only a couple years older was jabbing at a punching bag with a picture of the kid downstairs Scotch-taped to it, muttering about carrots. She had heard of rich people being somewhat eccentric, but these were downright weird, she concluded as she closed the door as quietly as she could.
Apparently not quietly enough. The girl stopped her punching and came out to take a look, thankfully not spotting Diana crouching under the table in the hall. "Phew, that was close," she said, and turned to go down the winding staircase.
"Who said that?" Juliet whirled around. "BUTLER! There's somebody in the house!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. At this, Diana ran full speed through the house, checking the rest of the rooms, determined to make her escape before this "Butler" discovered her. She had no clue who this person was, but he or she sure sounded dangerous.
She peeked in the last room. Nobody. She sighed and turned towards the door. Her school counselor was probably right, she thought. She did have a way too overactive imagination.
As she walked towards the humongous front gate, she spotted another door leading down. She hesitated, biting her nails. If someone found out, she could be explaining to these people, and her parents, and.. maybe the police... and the FBI!
She shook her head. No, she decided, she'd just explain that she got lost. And, besides, they didn't even have the FBI here.
So, she climbed down the stairs carefully, down to the basement. She took a look around. It was all empty, except for .... a door in the wall. No, a safe. Cool! thought Diana, hoping she could slip some bucks into her pocket. She tried the lock once. It wouldn't give. And there were a million possible combinations, and math was her worst subject. She could be here until next week.
Suddenly, she spotted a piece of paper on the floor, reading:
Here is the combination, Juliet, in case you forgot. Which I know you did.
Happily, she punched in the sequence, expecting to see a mountain of cash. Or some expensive paintings, or vases, or ..... whatever it was that rich people collected.
Instead, inside, right before her eyes, seated on a tiny cot, was an even tinier creature. With very pointy ears.