Chapter 8
Catherine left for coffee, wondering what they would do without the caffeinated substance. It was just a shame that hospital coffee wasn't as good as Greg's blue Hawaiian.
When the conversation died down slightly, there was a comfortable silence. They noticed Greg's smile fade and with it their hopes.
"Why me?"
He said quietly and more seriously than they had ever heard him. The prevailing uncomfortable silence disturbed Nick to the point where he felt he had to say something.
"Hey it was just fate man, I'm sorry."
Suddenly Greg's eyes glazed over and he froze.
"Fate...."
He whispered. Then he started shouting.
"No leave her alone!!! Stop it, stop it!!! Please!!!"
In alarm, the CSI's froze; Warrick managing to press the button for help. Having heard the commotion the doctors were already there.
When Catherine came back they were all stood outside while doctors did whatever they did in private. She looked to Grissom questioningly.
"He had a panic attack."
"A panic attack?"
"It's called a paroxysm in psychological terms. The part of the brain which sets off a particular emotion, whether that's anger, panic, or happiness, bypasses logical and conscious thought. It's the same as when you start laughing at something and can't stop, maybe at something which isn't even that funny, or people who become so angry they can't think, and end up killing somebody."
The others stared at him. Trust Grissom to be so objective. Catherine still looked like she needed more details so Nick filled her in.
"It's my fault. I said something which reminded him of it and mentally he just..."
"Nick it is not your fault."
Sara stated in a matter-of-fact way as she sympathetically put a hand on his shoulder. Marc nodded.
"We don't need any more unwarranted blaming Nick."
At the silence and confused stares Marc explained.
"Well...Greg blames himself, Jon blames Greg, Sara and Nick both unwittingly set off a panic attack and blame themselves..."
"Wait Sara, you set off a panic attack?"
Sara looked pained as she told them of the previous night.
"I guess his sister told him it wasn't his fault before she died."
Grissom glanced towards the window.
"That was a brave thing to do, and I think it is probably what Greg is holding onto right now."
Nick sat down with his head in his hands.
"This is all my fault. Not just in there, I was *at* the club they were taken, we just said hi to each other, I could have invited him for a drink or....or ANYTHING and this *wouldn't* have happened!!"
"Look you *cannot* blame yourself-"
"Marc you barely know Greg but you would have invited him over. I've known him for what, 3 years?"
"As a colleague. I know him in a completely different context."
"But-"
"No this is ridiculous!!"
Nick looked up at Marc's uncharacteristic outburst. They hadn't really seen Sara's brother anything but pleasant but now his tone was one of authority.
"I don't understand you guys, you're blaming everybody *but* the person who's fault it is, James Roe, and NOBODY else."
Sara nodded.
"He's right."
Nick stood up. Warrick glanced at the window and saw the doctors obliviously worked to calm Greg down and make him go to sleep
"Shall we go get something to eat?"
He asked, cooling some of the tension. They were all starving so they agreed. Warrick and Marc lead on, with Catherine and Grissom following on; they always found comfort from their friendship in difficult moments. Sara waited as Nick trailed behind slightly.
"He's right Nick. This isn't your fault."
"I know, it's just...."
The others in front didn't notice as Sara and Nick grew slightly further from them to allow for a more private conversation.
"Sara, is Greg going to be ok?"
She looked at him; he seemed to have aged overnight. She thought carefully about her next words.
"We'll make sure he's ok."
They caught up with the others.
TBC
Catherine left for coffee, wondering what they would do without the caffeinated substance. It was just a shame that hospital coffee wasn't as good as Greg's blue Hawaiian.
When the conversation died down slightly, there was a comfortable silence. They noticed Greg's smile fade and with it their hopes.
"Why me?"
He said quietly and more seriously than they had ever heard him. The prevailing uncomfortable silence disturbed Nick to the point where he felt he had to say something.
"Hey it was just fate man, I'm sorry."
Suddenly Greg's eyes glazed over and he froze.
"Fate...."
He whispered. Then he started shouting.
"No leave her alone!!! Stop it, stop it!!! Please!!!"
In alarm, the CSI's froze; Warrick managing to press the button for help. Having heard the commotion the doctors were already there.
When Catherine came back they were all stood outside while doctors did whatever they did in private. She looked to Grissom questioningly.
"He had a panic attack."
"A panic attack?"
"It's called a paroxysm in psychological terms. The part of the brain which sets off a particular emotion, whether that's anger, panic, or happiness, bypasses logical and conscious thought. It's the same as when you start laughing at something and can't stop, maybe at something which isn't even that funny, or people who become so angry they can't think, and end up killing somebody."
The others stared at him. Trust Grissom to be so objective. Catherine still looked like she needed more details so Nick filled her in.
"It's my fault. I said something which reminded him of it and mentally he just..."
"Nick it is not your fault."
Sara stated in a matter-of-fact way as she sympathetically put a hand on his shoulder. Marc nodded.
"We don't need any more unwarranted blaming Nick."
At the silence and confused stares Marc explained.
"Well...Greg blames himself, Jon blames Greg, Sara and Nick both unwittingly set off a panic attack and blame themselves..."
"Wait Sara, you set off a panic attack?"
Sara looked pained as she told them of the previous night.
"I guess his sister told him it wasn't his fault before she died."
Grissom glanced towards the window.
"That was a brave thing to do, and I think it is probably what Greg is holding onto right now."
Nick sat down with his head in his hands.
"This is all my fault. Not just in there, I was *at* the club they were taken, we just said hi to each other, I could have invited him for a drink or....or ANYTHING and this *wouldn't* have happened!!"
"Look you *cannot* blame yourself-"
"Marc you barely know Greg but you would have invited him over. I've known him for what, 3 years?"
"As a colleague. I know him in a completely different context."
"But-"
"No this is ridiculous!!"
Nick looked up at Marc's uncharacteristic outburst. They hadn't really seen Sara's brother anything but pleasant but now his tone was one of authority.
"I don't understand you guys, you're blaming everybody *but* the person who's fault it is, James Roe, and NOBODY else."
Sara nodded.
"He's right."
Nick stood up. Warrick glanced at the window and saw the doctors obliviously worked to calm Greg down and make him go to sleep
"Shall we go get something to eat?"
He asked, cooling some of the tension. They were all starving so they agreed. Warrick and Marc lead on, with Catherine and Grissom following on; they always found comfort from their friendship in difficult moments. Sara waited as Nick trailed behind slightly.
"He's right Nick. This isn't your fault."
"I know, it's just...."
The others in front didn't notice as Sara and Nick grew slightly further from them to allow for a more private conversation.
"Sara, is Greg going to be ok?"
She looked at him; he seemed to have aged overnight. She thought carefully about her next words.
"We'll make sure he's ok."
They caught up with the others.
TBC