L'Enfant Préoccupé
Chapter Seventeen -
By RoseRed
*Thank your for continuing to read my story!*
Harry left Dumbledore's office with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like that he was beginning to worry about a previous adversary. It unnerved him greatly to have to think and ponder where Severus Snape was, and what he was doing. One thought even had the nerve to strike him, who Severus was with. Harry hated feeling jealous just at the thought of his teacher with anyone but him.
Harry eventually found himself, once again, back at the lake. Thoughts and images of the previous night tugged at his mind.
Soft kisses
Shadowy light nips
Strong caresses
Harry knew he was blushing, but some of thoughts were quite intimate and he wondered how he was able to remember them in such great detail. 'Because you're falling for the man.' he thought.
Before he knew it, he heard the bell ringing to signal the start of supper. He knew it would cause suspicion if he missed another meal. Reluctantly, Harry stood and walked slowly on unsteady legs to the school. He felt as though he was facing his destiny by walking into the Great Hall. It was as if the thought of seeing Severus again was enough to make him feel like his whole future was waiting. When Harry entered the Great Hall his eyes immediately scanned the staff table for Severus. He was there. Harry saw him sitting in his usual place, scowling. Normally the look would have scarred his eyes away from the older man, but instead he found himself staring. Harry couldn't take his eyes of Severus, and Severus saw it. Blushing, Harry took his gaze away when he saw that Severus had seen him. He hoped that none of the other students had seen it.
Severus had seen Harry's stare, and had seen him look away. He knew he should summon Harry to his chambers and try to rationalize what had happened between them. But, there was an annoying voice at the edge of his mind urging him to sweep the boy up and hold him in the safety of his arms. Part of him wanted to protect Harry and prevent any harm from coming to him. Severus had only felt this once before in his entire life. He had been twenty-five, and in love. In the end he'd been dumped for someone else. His life lay in ruins, and he had vowed from that day forward never to let anyone else ever cloud his judgement, or try and run his life. Severus had promised himself to shut out love forever. Yet, here he was, catching himself falling in love with a student half his age. The rational part of his brain was screaming caution, but the other side was yelling louder. The side that simply said, he is yours now. Severus decided he must at least talk with Harry. Knowing the boy would follow, Severus stood and walked out the doors.
Harry waited five minutes, stood up without a word to anyone and followed Severus. He walked down to the strangely comforting area around the dungeons, and a realization hit him. He felt more at ease standing outside of Severus' quarters then he did sleeping in a room full of his friends. He knew he was experiencing emotions he had never felt before. He knew that this wouldn't work out. He knew that he had to see Severus again, or he wouldn't be able to breath again.
Harry found the door left ajar and walked soundlessly over to where Severus sat. Neither man spoke, instead they sat across from each other, just staring. Neither knew where to start. Severus knew he should be the adult and try and explain, but he found he could only stare into Harry's eyes.
Neither knew how it happened, suddenly they were both on the floor, wrapped in each other's embrace.
"Harry, we shouldn't be doing this."
"I know."
Minutes passed. Touches, caresses, kind words. Then, "No, Harry, we must stop this."
"But, I know we both want it."
"That doesn't matter. We can't do this. This happiness is not for us."
"Why?"
"Do you honestly think it could ever work out?"
"If you're worried about the age difference."
"You have not thought this through. It is not simply the large difference in our ages, but the mere fact that I am a teacher and you are my student."
"I know that's not the real reason. That we could work past."
"Potter, think! I am an ex- Death Eater, you are the 'Boy-Who- Lived!' No one in the world would accept us. I can't even belive you would."
"Just tell me that you want this to. Tell me that you can't explain your feelings either. Tell me that I'm not the only confused one in this room!"
"Harry, please, just leave."
"You don't like to lose control. That's why you're doing this!"
"Get out!" Severus said, the anger evident on his face, "just get out!"
Harry stumbled backwords at the shock of Severus' words. He had never seen him lose control like this, never seen him this angry. He hadn't thought it would work out this way. No matter how Harry tried to rationalize his thoughts, all he wanted to do was be back in Severus' strong arms. He wanted to breath in Severus' scent, a wonderful mixture of herbs and musk. He wanted to feel Severus' hands on his skin. He wanted to experience everything that was last night. But most of all, he wanted Severus.
Harry couldn't stop the tears as he ran out of the room. Severus stood motionless, gazing out the door until long after Harry had made his exit.
*I know that some of you are going to think this chapter was really soppy, and lovey-dovey, but that was just the mood I was in. I may regret it later.*
*Thank your for continuing to read my story!*
Harry left Dumbledore's office with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like that he was beginning to worry about a previous adversary. It unnerved him greatly to have to think and ponder where Severus Snape was, and what he was doing. One thought even had the nerve to strike him, who Severus was with. Harry hated feeling jealous just at the thought of his teacher with anyone but him.
Harry eventually found himself, once again, back at the lake. Thoughts and images of the previous night tugged at his mind.
Soft kisses
Shadowy light nips
Strong caresses
Harry knew he was blushing, but some of thoughts were quite intimate and he wondered how he was able to remember them in such great detail. 'Because you're falling for the man.' he thought.
Before he knew it, he heard the bell ringing to signal the start of supper. He knew it would cause suspicion if he missed another meal. Reluctantly, Harry stood and walked slowly on unsteady legs to the school. He felt as though he was facing his destiny by walking into the Great Hall. It was as if the thought of seeing Severus again was enough to make him feel like his whole future was waiting. When Harry entered the Great Hall his eyes immediately scanned the staff table for Severus. He was there. Harry saw him sitting in his usual place, scowling. Normally the look would have scarred his eyes away from the older man, but instead he found himself staring. Harry couldn't take his eyes of Severus, and Severus saw it. Blushing, Harry took his gaze away when he saw that Severus had seen him. He hoped that none of the other students had seen it.
Severus had seen Harry's stare, and had seen him look away. He knew he should summon Harry to his chambers and try to rationalize what had happened between them. But, there was an annoying voice at the edge of his mind urging him to sweep the boy up and hold him in the safety of his arms. Part of him wanted to protect Harry and prevent any harm from coming to him. Severus had only felt this once before in his entire life. He had been twenty-five, and in love. In the end he'd been dumped for someone else. His life lay in ruins, and he had vowed from that day forward never to let anyone else ever cloud his judgement, or try and run his life. Severus had promised himself to shut out love forever. Yet, here he was, catching himself falling in love with a student half his age. The rational part of his brain was screaming caution, but the other side was yelling louder. The side that simply said, he is yours now. Severus decided he must at least talk with Harry. Knowing the boy would follow, Severus stood and walked out the doors.
Harry waited five minutes, stood up without a word to anyone and followed Severus. He walked down to the strangely comforting area around the dungeons, and a realization hit him. He felt more at ease standing outside of Severus' quarters then he did sleeping in a room full of his friends. He knew he was experiencing emotions he had never felt before. He knew that this wouldn't work out. He knew that he had to see Severus again, or he wouldn't be able to breath again.
Harry found the door left ajar and walked soundlessly over to where Severus sat. Neither man spoke, instead they sat across from each other, just staring. Neither knew where to start. Severus knew he should be the adult and try and explain, but he found he could only stare into Harry's eyes.
Neither knew how it happened, suddenly they were both on the floor, wrapped in each other's embrace.
"Harry, we shouldn't be doing this."
"I know."
Minutes passed. Touches, caresses, kind words. Then, "No, Harry, we must stop this."
"But, I know we both want it."
"That doesn't matter. We can't do this. This happiness is not for us."
"Why?"
"Do you honestly think it could ever work out?"
"If you're worried about the age difference."
"You have not thought this through. It is not simply the large difference in our ages, but the mere fact that I am a teacher and you are my student."
"I know that's not the real reason. That we could work past."
"Potter, think! I am an ex- Death Eater, you are the 'Boy-Who- Lived!' No one in the world would accept us. I can't even belive you would."
"Just tell me that you want this to. Tell me that you can't explain your feelings either. Tell me that I'm not the only confused one in this room!"
"Harry, please, just leave."
"You don't like to lose control. That's why you're doing this!"
"Get out!" Severus said, the anger evident on his face, "just get out!"
Harry stumbled backwords at the shock of Severus' words. He had never seen him lose control like this, never seen him this angry. He hadn't thought it would work out this way. No matter how Harry tried to rationalize his thoughts, all he wanted to do was be back in Severus' strong arms. He wanted to breath in Severus' scent, a wonderful mixture of herbs and musk. He wanted to feel Severus' hands on his skin. He wanted to experience everything that was last night. But most of all, he wanted Severus.
Harry couldn't stop the tears as he ran out of the room. Severus stood motionless, gazing out the door until long after Harry had made his exit.
*I know that some of you are going to think this chapter was really soppy, and lovey-dovey, but that was just the mood I was in. I may regret it later.*