L'Enfant Préoccupé
Chapter Eighteen - Severus' Flashback Part One
By RoseRed
Severus sat quietly in his favorite worn-out chair, and let his thoughts slip over him.
(Flashback)
Severus, as a young man, sat by the lake, gazing into the murky, stillness of the water. Occasionally a leave, or twig would float gently down from a tree, and cause a ripple in the pond. To Severus, the image of calm being changed by something so simple, was exactly like his own life. The only difference, in his case it wasn't something physical, it was something deeper that any wound, it was love. Severus had been completely and totally in love with someone, and that someone had ripped his heart out.
Severus had met Jenna Constance when he was fifteen. To him, he loved her the minute he laid eyes on her. She was the new girl, having transferred from an American wizarding academy the previous summer. That first day she was nervous, shy and cautious of everyone and everything.
Severus had snuck some breakfast from the Great Hall into the library, preferring to eat away from everyone's prying eyes. Sneaking past the librarian had been simple, she would never have given him a second glance anyways. Everyone knew about Severus' family, how they were against everything muggle. They knew how Severus practiced Dark Arts, and how he always kept to himself. The librarian was muggle - born, and looked upon him with disgust. To her, Severus was a savage animal. Severus cared little, as it allowed him total seclusion while he ate his meals, reviewed homework and did some pleasure reading. It was far better then sitting with a bunch of people that despised him. Sure, Severus knew of a select few who came from the same family backgrounds, but he chose not to associate with him. Why add to his problems?
When Severus had just sat down in his favorite corner, he lay out his books, and set his food aside. He opened one of his many books, and began reading at a feverous pace, not wanting to ever fall behind his peers. While his food started to get cold, Severus saw someone enter the library from the corner of his eye. Hardly anyone ever came in during meal times, it was enough for Severus to sneak a full glance at the visitor. She was beautiful. Standing in front of the librarian, was the most precious looking creature Severus had ever seen, he was riveted on her. She had long and straight red hair down to her waist. She was tall, and stood straight, as if telling the world that nothing could get to her. She appeared fearless. Severus heard her speak, a strong southern accent was coming through, even though it was obvious she was trying to cover it up.
"Do you have any books by Darius Martin?" She asked the librarian, who was looking at her with contempt, for she had interrupted her lunch hour with a trivial request.
"No." She said flatly, "but I can order one if you would like."
"Thank you, Ma'am, but I think I'll just look around."
"You're welcome." she replied, not used to being addressed with such respect. The girl turned and started to walk towards where Severus was sitting, catching his glance she blushed a light shade of pink and quickly looked away. Still, Severus could not take his eyes off the girl he now knew had dark green eyes, and tan skin.
The girl scanned the shelves and picked out a few titles. While she was walking back towards the librarian's desk, she once again walked past Severus. At that exact moment, her school bag caught on the desk corner, and spilled it's contents. Looking embarrassed, she knelt down and started to pick up her things. Severus too stood up and helped her pick up the book. While they were both kneeling, they caught each other's eyes.
"I'm Jenna." She said, her full accent coming through.
"Severus Snape." When he didn't see a spark of recognition at the Snape name, he decided that this was someone he could talk with. Before he could answer,
"Severus, would you mind terribly showing me around the school, I'm dreadfully lost."
"I would love to." Severus couldn't believe it, a pretty girl was asking him to accompany her. Severus knew he wasn't handsome, his nose was to sharp, his frame to thin and lanky, and his hair to long and greasy. At first he thought she was just playing some kind of mean trick on him, but the look in her eyes told him she was being genuine.
After she had checked out her books, they went into the hall and Severus showed her some of his favorite things around school. He loved the feeling he had being with her, he loved her witty comments and cute laugh. He loved the way she flipped her hair, and they way her face would scrunch up in confusion when she heard British slang.
When they had rounded another corner, Severus spotted James Potter and Sirius Black, and they saw him.
"Ooooh, Sevvy has himself a girlfriend!" James laughed.
"I hope she doesn't trip on his grease trail!" Sirius taunted.
"What's a beauty like you doing with him? Wouldn't you rather that we show you around school? I'm sure we could show you better sights then he has been." James said while winking.
Severus knew he had to leave, or Jenna would find out things about him, things that would make her like everyone else, instead of the one person who was seeing into him. He turned and started to walk swiftly away.
"Severus wait!" Jenna cried after him, before being led away by James and Sirius.
Severus was sitting at the lake again, a few days later. Staring into the water, his eyes not focusing. His thoughts had been filled with her. He hated being so consumed by something, he knew by now Jenna would know all about his family. It was useless to approach her. Slowly, Severus let his eye lids drop, and he was asleep.
"Severus." A voice interrupted his dream. "Severus, wake up." it called again. Severus opened his eyes slowly, he'd been dreaming about her again. He didn't want reality back. What he saw next caused him to wake quickly, standing over him was Jenna. She looked like an angel.
"Hi." was all he could manage.
"Severus, I want to talk to you, if you're not busy."
"What is it?" He said while she sat down. He knew something was wrong, but even his strong intuition couldn't figure it out.
"I was talking with those brutes, James and Sirius, they told me that you hate all muggle-bourns. I just need to know if it's true." He was silent, "oh, please tell me it's not true." He saw tears forming in her eyes.
"I don't hate them."
"Then.then.why would he say that?"
"It is true, my family does despise muggle culture, but I want so much not to be part of that legacy. No one here can see past it, though."
"I am so glad that that was your answer. I can't understand what I'm feeling, but I know that I want to be next to you all the time. It's like I've been placed under a spell, though we've known each other for such a short while, you're all I can think about!"
"Why did you need to know?" He asked cautiously, hoping she wouldn't say she was a half - blood, or muggle - born, if his family ever found out.
"I'm a half - blood, Severus. My father was a wizard, and he fell in love with my mother. They were both killed by muggle haters."
"Jenna," he started, caring little about his family, "I really like you too." Not knowing what was coming over him, and knowing he was risking a lot. He leaned into kiss her. Slowly, and sweetly, it was the most precious moment of his life.
(End Flashback)
"Severus! Severus! Wake up!" Dumbledore's bead was tickling his face.
"What do you want, old man?"
"You missed the start of morning classes. I was worried."
"Fine." He got up, and dressed for his first class of the day.
*Hi! I think I broke a few story lines here.in the book, I think it kind of hints that Severus loved Lily in school, but it's my story, damnit! Grrr!! I know I made Jenna into a vixen, but my original thought was to make her into the classic image of American girl, tall and blonde with blue eyes.so I hope this is better. Let me know if you all like Jenna Constance. Also, this is only the FIRST PART of the flashback.I wanted everyone to ponder and review. ~*~RoseRed~*~
Severus sat quietly in his favorite worn-out chair, and let his thoughts slip over him.
(Flashback)
Severus, as a young man, sat by the lake, gazing into the murky, stillness of the water. Occasionally a leave, or twig would float gently down from a tree, and cause a ripple in the pond. To Severus, the image of calm being changed by something so simple, was exactly like his own life. The only difference, in his case it wasn't something physical, it was something deeper that any wound, it was love. Severus had been completely and totally in love with someone, and that someone had ripped his heart out.
Severus had met Jenna Constance when he was fifteen. To him, he loved her the minute he laid eyes on her. She was the new girl, having transferred from an American wizarding academy the previous summer. That first day she was nervous, shy and cautious of everyone and everything.
Severus had snuck some breakfast from the Great Hall into the library, preferring to eat away from everyone's prying eyes. Sneaking past the librarian had been simple, she would never have given him a second glance anyways. Everyone knew about Severus' family, how they were against everything muggle. They knew how Severus practiced Dark Arts, and how he always kept to himself. The librarian was muggle - born, and looked upon him with disgust. To her, Severus was a savage animal. Severus cared little, as it allowed him total seclusion while he ate his meals, reviewed homework and did some pleasure reading. It was far better then sitting with a bunch of people that despised him. Sure, Severus knew of a select few who came from the same family backgrounds, but he chose not to associate with him. Why add to his problems?
When Severus had just sat down in his favorite corner, he lay out his books, and set his food aside. He opened one of his many books, and began reading at a feverous pace, not wanting to ever fall behind his peers. While his food started to get cold, Severus saw someone enter the library from the corner of his eye. Hardly anyone ever came in during meal times, it was enough for Severus to sneak a full glance at the visitor. She was beautiful. Standing in front of the librarian, was the most precious looking creature Severus had ever seen, he was riveted on her. She had long and straight red hair down to her waist. She was tall, and stood straight, as if telling the world that nothing could get to her. She appeared fearless. Severus heard her speak, a strong southern accent was coming through, even though it was obvious she was trying to cover it up.
"Do you have any books by Darius Martin?" She asked the librarian, who was looking at her with contempt, for she had interrupted her lunch hour with a trivial request.
"No." She said flatly, "but I can order one if you would like."
"Thank you, Ma'am, but I think I'll just look around."
"You're welcome." she replied, not used to being addressed with such respect. The girl turned and started to walk towards where Severus was sitting, catching his glance she blushed a light shade of pink and quickly looked away. Still, Severus could not take his eyes off the girl he now knew had dark green eyes, and tan skin.
The girl scanned the shelves and picked out a few titles. While she was walking back towards the librarian's desk, she once again walked past Severus. At that exact moment, her school bag caught on the desk corner, and spilled it's contents. Looking embarrassed, she knelt down and started to pick up her things. Severus too stood up and helped her pick up the book. While they were both kneeling, they caught each other's eyes.
"I'm Jenna." She said, her full accent coming through.
"Severus Snape." When he didn't see a spark of recognition at the Snape name, he decided that this was someone he could talk with. Before he could answer,
"Severus, would you mind terribly showing me around the school, I'm dreadfully lost."
"I would love to." Severus couldn't believe it, a pretty girl was asking him to accompany her. Severus knew he wasn't handsome, his nose was to sharp, his frame to thin and lanky, and his hair to long and greasy. At first he thought she was just playing some kind of mean trick on him, but the look in her eyes told him she was being genuine.
After she had checked out her books, they went into the hall and Severus showed her some of his favorite things around school. He loved the feeling he had being with her, he loved her witty comments and cute laugh. He loved the way she flipped her hair, and they way her face would scrunch up in confusion when she heard British slang.
When they had rounded another corner, Severus spotted James Potter and Sirius Black, and they saw him.
"Ooooh, Sevvy has himself a girlfriend!" James laughed.
"I hope she doesn't trip on his grease trail!" Sirius taunted.
"What's a beauty like you doing with him? Wouldn't you rather that we show you around school? I'm sure we could show you better sights then he has been." James said while winking.
Severus knew he had to leave, or Jenna would find out things about him, things that would make her like everyone else, instead of the one person who was seeing into him. He turned and started to walk swiftly away.
"Severus wait!" Jenna cried after him, before being led away by James and Sirius.
Severus was sitting at the lake again, a few days later. Staring into the water, his eyes not focusing. His thoughts had been filled with her. He hated being so consumed by something, he knew by now Jenna would know all about his family. It was useless to approach her. Slowly, Severus let his eye lids drop, and he was asleep.
"Severus." A voice interrupted his dream. "Severus, wake up." it called again. Severus opened his eyes slowly, he'd been dreaming about her again. He didn't want reality back. What he saw next caused him to wake quickly, standing over him was Jenna. She looked like an angel.
"Hi." was all he could manage.
"Severus, I want to talk to you, if you're not busy."
"What is it?" He said while she sat down. He knew something was wrong, but even his strong intuition couldn't figure it out.
"I was talking with those brutes, James and Sirius, they told me that you hate all muggle-bourns. I just need to know if it's true." He was silent, "oh, please tell me it's not true." He saw tears forming in her eyes.
"I don't hate them."
"Then.then.why would he say that?"
"It is true, my family does despise muggle culture, but I want so much not to be part of that legacy. No one here can see past it, though."
"I am so glad that that was your answer. I can't understand what I'm feeling, but I know that I want to be next to you all the time. It's like I've been placed under a spell, though we've known each other for such a short while, you're all I can think about!"
"Why did you need to know?" He asked cautiously, hoping she wouldn't say she was a half - blood, or muggle - born, if his family ever found out.
"I'm a half - blood, Severus. My father was a wizard, and he fell in love with my mother. They were both killed by muggle haters."
"Jenna," he started, caring little about his family, "I really like you too." Not knowing what was coming over him, and knowing he was risking a lot. He leaned into kiss her. Slowly, and sweetly, it was the most precious moment of his life.
(End Flashback)
"Severus! Severus! Wake up!" Dumbledore's bead was tickling his face.
"What do you want, old man?"
"You missed the start of morning classes. I was worried."
"Fine." He got up, and dressed for his first class of the day.
*Hi! I think I broke a few story lines here.in the book, I think it kind of hints that Severus loved Lily in school, but it's my story, damnit! Grrr!! I know I made Jenna into a vixen, but my original thought was to make her into the classic image of American girl, tall and blonde with blue eyes.so I hope this is better. Let me know if you all like Jenna Constance. Also, this is only the FIRST PART of the flashback.I wanted everyone to ponder and review. ~*~RoseRed~*~