L'Enfant Préoccupé
Chapter Nineteen – Mistakes
By RoseRed
Harry was running. He need to get as far away from the dungeons as possible. He ran down one hallway, then he ran down another. Harry was painless, he was running so fast that the world around him was spinning. The only thing he concentrated on was the running, the beating of his own heart. The sound it was making in his ears. Everything was blurred, fuzzy a world of colors whizzing past him. Finally, he couldn't go on, he collapsed in the astronomy tower.
Harry lay slumped on the steps, panting. The emotions came back as quickly as they had left. Harry tried to stare blankly ahead, he tried to block it all out, but it wasn't working. With his thoughts spinning, a song drifted into his ears. A muggle song he'd heard before somewhere.
---I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along...
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.
I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have hold of me...---
Mesmerized by the lyrics and the voice singing them, Harry stood up and walked towards the song's origin. After turning a few corners he saw her. He saw what looked like an angel. She was beautiful. Harry didn't know her name, but recognized her as one of the fifth years. Harry walked over, and stood still, continuing to listen to her voice. The singing stopped suddenly when the girl looked up.
"Oh, I didn't know anyone was around."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. It's just...your singing was so pretty."
"Oh, thank you." She said, blushing.
"That's a muggle song, isn't it?"
"Yes. It's one of my favorites."
"I liked it. I'm Harry."
"I...I know." She laughed, "I'm Ellyn."
"Would you like to sneak into the kitchens with me, Ellyn?" Harry asked, quietly.
"I'd love to." Ellyn stood, and walked next to Harry down to the kitchens. Harry had pushed all thoughts of Severus to the back of his mind. He didn't know Ellyn, and he didn't care. All he wanted to do was stop thinking about Severus. If he didn't want him, then he wouldn't care. He wouldn't let someone affect him so deeply. Ellyn was good enough company for him. These were the thoughts he tried to think, but that little voice in his head kept nagging him, 'You want to hurt him. You just want to hurt him. Stop this, go back to him.' But Harry pushed the voice down. He focused on escorting Ellyn to the kitchens.
"I do love the food here." Ellyn said.
"It's great. I have house-elf connections." Harry replied, smiling. Ellyn laughed.
"What's your favorite book?"
"Ummm, I really love anything by Gildaroy Lockhart."
"He was my teacher for a while."
"Really? That's really great."
Their conversation was mindless. Harry had stopped thinking about Severus, he had made himself stop caring. Before long, there slow and light conversation, and Ellyn's smile had Harry defenseless. Deep down, he knew that he was only doing this to somehow get back at Severus. He knew that this would come back to haunt him someday. He knew that he would regret this later. That didn't matter to him now, without even really realizing it, Harry had invited Ellyn back to his rooms. Harry knew that all of his roommates had other plans that evening. Ellyn agreed, and they took the journey back to the Gryffindor common rooms. Ellyn was laughing the whole way, and all the while, Harry could feel his heart growing colder. He didn't care for Ellyn the way he knew he cared for Severus. He wanted to hurt Severus, and Ellyn was the perfect way to do it. The perfect way.
When they'd gotten back into Harry's room, Ellyn wasted no time. She pressed herself up to Harry and kissed him deeply. Harry gave into the kiss and soon the pair were tangled up in the sheets. Ellyn lifted Harry's shirt and the look in her eyes told Harry to repay the gesture. Harry gazed at Ellyn, weighing what he was about to do, and went for it. He gently placed his right hand on Ellyn's stomach. She moaned and Harry slid his hand up to her breasts. He found her nipples taut and hard. Carefully, Harry caressed her sensitive skin and Ellyn moaned in pleasure. She gestured at Harry's pants, and he obliged her by sliding them off with his boxers, she did the same with her uniform skirt.
Harry knew there was no going back now, looking into Ellyn's eyes he positioned himself over her and, after a nod of approval, slid inside of her. His thrusts were slow at first, Ellyn ran her hands over Harry's chest and his hair. Harry kissed Ellyn with quick, passionate moves. Ellyn pulled Harry down and began to suck on his neck, leaving a dark purple mark. Harry was nearing his end, and quickened his thrusts. Both of them were moaning loudly, and together they cried out when they both reached their peaks. Ellyn flipped them over and lay atop Harry. Both were panting to catch their breath. Ellyn looked at Harry and smiled. Then, she nestled next to him and fell asleep. Harry did a quick cleaning spell and lay there, listening to her light breathing. Then it hit him, what have I done?
Harry's conscience nagged at him relentlessly, he lay there next to Ellyn, hoping that no one would walk in and discover them. While Ron would congratulate him, and just go to sleep, he was worried that one of the others would spread the gossip around school, allowing for Severus to hear. With his thoughts pulling him in all different directions, he finally fell asleep, thinking of how much this would hurt Severus and himself.
*In case you're wondering; in my story, Severus turned from women after Jenna, and I like the idea of Bi!Harry. Don't you? :) *
**The song was, 'My Immortal' by Evanescence**
***Sorry this has taken such a long time, I've been so busy. Can someone tell me exactly what a Mary Sue is? Apparently, Severus' girl was one....I don't know what it is...hmmm... I know my chapters are really short, but that's how I like them.***
Harry was running. He need to get as far away from the dungeons as possible. He ran down one hallway, then he ran down another. Harry was painless, he was running so fast that the world around him was spinning. The only thing he concentrated on was the running, the beating of his own heart. The sound it was making in his ears. Everything was blurred, fuzzy a world of colors whizzing past him. Finally, he couldn't go on, he collapsed in the astronomy tower.
Harry lay slumped on the steps, panting. The emotions came back as quickly as they had left. Harry tried to stare blankly ahead, he tried to block it all out, but it wasn't working. With his thoughts spinning, a song drifted into his ears. A muggle song he'd heard before somewhere.
---I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along...
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.
I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have hold of me...---
Mesmerized by the lyrics and the voice singing them, Harry stood up and walked towards the song's origin. After turning a few corners he saw her. He saw what looked like an angel. She was beautiful. Harry didn't know her name, but recognized her as one of the fifth years. Harry walked over, and stood still, continuing to listen to her voice. The singing stopped suddenly when the girl looked up.
"Oh, I didn't know anyone was around."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. It's just...your singing was so pretty."
"Oh, thank you." She said, blushing.
"That's a muggle song, isn't it?"
"Yes. It's one of my favorites."
"I liked it. I'm Harry."
"I...I know." She laughed, "I'm Ellyn."
"Would you like to sneak into the kitchens with me, Ellyn?" Harry asked, quietly.
"I'd love to." Ellyn stood, and walked next to Harry down to the kitchens. Harry had pushed all thoughts of Severus to the back of his mind. He didn't know Ellyn, and he didn't care. All he wanted to do was stop thinking about Severus. If he didn't want him, then he wouldn't care. He wouldn't let someone affect him so deeply. Ellyn was good enough company for him. These were the thoughts he tried to think, but that little voice in his head kept nagging him, 'You want to hurt him. You just want to hurt him. Stop this, go back to him.' But Harry pushed the voice down. He focused on escorting Ellyn to the kitchens.
"I do love the food here." Ellyn said.
"It's great. I have house-elf connections." Harry replied, smiling. Ellyn laughed.
"What's your favorite book?"
"Ummm, I really love anything by Gildaroy Lockhart."
"He was my teacher for a while."
"Really? That's really great."
Their conversation was mindless. Harry had stopped thinking about Severus, he had made himself stop caring. Before long, there slow and light conversation, and Ellyn's smile had Harry defenseless. Deep down, he knew that he was only doing this to somehow get back at Severus. He knew that this would come back to haunt him someday. He knew that he would regret this later. That didn't matter to him now, without even really realizing it, Harry had invited Ellyn back to his rooms. Harry knew that all of his roommates had other plans that evening. Ellyn agreed, and they took the journey back to the Gryffindor common rooms. Ellyn was laughing the whole way, and all the while, Harry could feel his heart growing colder. He didn't care for Ellyn the way he knew he cared for Severus. He wanted to hurt Severus, and Ellyn was the perfect way to do it. The perfect way.
When they'd gotten back into Harry's room, Ellyn wasted no time. She pressed herself up to Harry and kissed him deeply. Harry gave into the kiss and soon the pair were tangled up in the sheets. Ellyn lifted Harry's shirt and the look in her eyes told Harry to repay the gesture. Harry gazed at Ellyn, weighing what he was about to do, and went for it. He gently placed his right hand on Ellyn's stomach. She moaned and Harry slid his hand up to her breasts. He found her nipples taut and hard. Carefully, Harry caressed her sensitive skin and Ellyn moaned in pleasure. She gestured at Harry's pants, and he obliged her by sliding them off with his boxers, she did the same with her uniform skirt.
Harry knew there was no going back now, looking into Ellyn's eyes he positioned himself over her and, after a nod of approval, slid inside of her. His thrusts were slow at first, Ellyn ran her hands over Harry's chest and his hair. Harry kissed Ellyn with quick, passionate moves. Ellyn pulled Harry down and began to suck on his neck, leaving a dark purple mark. Harry was nearing his end, and quickened his thrusts. Both of them were moaning loudly, and together they cried out when they both reached their peaks. Ellyn flipped them over and lay atop Harry. Both were panting to catch their breath. Ellyn looked at Harry and smiled. Then, she nestled next to him and fell asleep. Harry did a quick cleaning spell and lay there, listening to her light breathing. Then it hit him, what have I done?
Harry's conscience nagged at him relentlessly, he lay there next to Ellyn, hoping that no one would walk in and discover them. While Ron would congratulate him, and just go to sleep, he was worried that one of the others would spread the gossip around school, allowing for Severus to hear. With his thoughts pulling him in all different directions, he finally fell asleep, thinking of how much this would hurt Severus and himself.
*In case you're wondering; in my story, Severus turned from women after Jenna, and I like the idea of Bi!Harry. Don't you? :) *
**The song was, 'My Immortal' by Evanescence**
***Sorry this has taken such a long time, I've been so busy. Can someone tell me exactly what a Mary Sue is? Apparently, Severus' girl was one....I don't know what it is...hmmm... I know my chapters are really short, but that's how I like them.***