Hello long time no see….my bad =0( I've been lazy however I aim to repent by doing lots of writing. Its not the best chapter but the task is quite good, but I've got an evil cold at the moment and my eyes are streaming so bad it's hard to see the screen so if there are mistakes please forgive me!
Day 12 in the X Big Brotherhood Mansion ~ Task Day
10:48AM
Big Brother calls Logan to the diary room.
"Logan you are aware that today is the day of your second task"
"Yeah and….?"
"We have something for you to do in preparation for the task, but you must not inform the other housemates….."
Meanwhile in the Kitchen
Kat is approaching a nude Scott with a plastic knife and fork (all the metal ones having been removed for the housemates own safety) chanting "I want sausage, I *WANT* SAUSAGE!"
Scott is seen trying desperately to fit into the cupboard, as Bobby enters the room.
"I'm so hungry!" He moans clutching his round pot belly
"How can that be after you have eaten a whole marshmallow tree?" Hank asks looking up from his breakfast meal of …..MARSHMALLOW.
"I just am…." He says before running up to the fish tank and drooling at it occupants.
Victor looks sadly at his 'owner' as he slowly munches on the ball bearings that were awarded the housemates after their last failed attempt at a task.
Eric is sat sullenly at the end of the table.
"Eric could you pass me the salt?" Victor asks peering sadly at the ball bearings he has thus far failed to swallow
"Why don't you get off your fat hairy butt and get it for yourself?" He yells angrily back at Victor stalking into the bathroom
Hank raises his eyebrows and goes back to his bowl of marshmallow and boiled water
"Jesus, remind me never to speak to him when the coffee supplies run out…" Victor mumbles liberally coating his ball bearings in salt.
11:08AM
Logan busies himself in the kitchen, talking to Rogue.
"Ahm really fed up of that Swamp rat always hitting on me and following me around all the taime he'll like a shadow…"
Logan looks up and watches as Hank walks into the garden
"D'ya want me to ave a word with the Cajun fer ya?" Logan asks as he wipes the kitchen side down
"Would ya mind sugah?"
"Not at all darlin'" Logan touches his pocket in the manner of someone who is checking to see if the still have their wallet or car keys in them. "I better get goin'" He says as he struts into the garden.
Logan walks up to Hank
"Watchya Blue?" He asks lighting up a cigar
Hank doesn't look at Logan "Thinking…"
"What about?"
"A mathematical challenge I was set in my teens that was said to be impossible."
"Oh" Logan looks around "Blue what are ya missing the most being all cooped up in here?"
Hank doesn't even have to think of an answer "Twinkies" He stops for a second as if in thought before sighing "…and you?"
Logan in similar fashion to Hank announces "Sex"
There is a silence between the pair for a moment before Logan speaks up
"What if I could get ya a Twinkie?"
"I would be eternally in your debt" Hank says looking hopefully at Logan who is rummaging about in his pockets before producing a squashed Twinkie that Hank lifts to his nose and smells savouring it before stuffing it wrapping and all into his face
"Are you trying to buy me?" Hank asks small crumbs falling from his mouth
"Maybe…"
"Well your going the right way about it my friend"
11:15AM
Remy is doodling on the walls in a bright Orange crayon, just one of the many Kat smuggled into the mansion stuffed down her knickers.
"Ohhh you gonna take me home tonight,
Ohhh down beside that red fire light,
Oh you gonna let it all hang out,
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round,
I was just a skinny lad,
Never knew no good from bad,
But I knew love before I left my nursery,
Left alone with big fat fatty,
She was such a naughty nanny,
Hey big woman you made a fat boy outta me….."
Remy sings unaware of the camera zooming into his pictures of big fat bottomed girls with hair that has white bangs at the front of the face.
"Whatcya doin?" Kat asks looking as innocent as she possibly can
"Remy be drawin' petite"
"Ohhhh…" Kat looked at the pictures that he had drawn for a moment "…your not very good are you…is that a hippo?"
Remy looked aghast "That be Remy's one true love; Rogue how can you say such a thing?"
"Well no one looks like that" Kat says pointing at part of Remy's work of …er….art
"Of course they don't that's a tree"
"Oh I thought that was meant to be Rogue….well…" Kat looks at the picture for a moment "…what about that is it the dog?"
"How dare you call my Rogue a dog you little wench…" Remy rants before looking at the picture "…oh yeah dat be a dog"
Kat looks at her hands for a moment before setting them on fire "Flames are pretty, you should draw them ….wait I know I'll do it" And with that Remy's drawing and so the wallpaper bursts into flame.
"Argh fire! FIRE!" Remy yells running around in a circle clutching his head with his hands "HELP FIRE!"
Kat watches his dance looking slightly puzzled "Is that the new Macarena?"
Hank walks sleepily into the room before looking at the fire dispassionately
"TIMBER!" Comes Victors yell from behind the large blue mutant who falls to the floor leaving a mutant shaped dent into the floor.
Remy begins so spit on the fire in an attempt to put it out, before Bobby enters the room and rescues the poor black and red eyed mutant. By putting out the fire with a large amount of ice.
Eric looks at the young mutant with disdain "I hope you realise when that melts the carpet will be sopping and if I die of pneumonia as a result you shall be to blame"
"Chance would be a fine thing" Victor mumbles under his breath
"What was that" Eric demands eyes blood shot
"I was just saying I sure hope we win this task so we can get you some more coffee"
Logan enters the room rubbing his hands together he sounds spookily like Dr. Evil when he says "Good I see that Twinkie knocked Dr McCoy out just as planned"
"?!"
11:30 Task Time
Task number 2 is to be held in the garden and as the housemates quickly ascertain, involves a canon and a Velcro wall.
"Ok ok I get it" Scott says holding his hands in the air like he's praising his own ingenious "We put Hank into the canon and fire him at the Velcro wall"
Eric reads from the sheet of rules "Ok we have to see how many times we can fire him at the wall and hi stick before he wakes up…if we can manage more then 3 times we win the max. Shopping budget"
"Does he haveta wear a Velcro suit or something?" Victor asks smelling a daisy (despite daisies not smelling)
"No it says here that he was picked for this task for his fur and for the fact that Big Brother wants to see if he will stick" Eric says matter of factly
"Remind me again why I had ta knock him out?" Logan asks puffing on a cigar
"It would have come under the animal cruelty act if they hadn't at least have proved willing to knock him out" Who would have thought that Eric was such a fountain of knowledge?
5 Minutes later
The housemates have successfully adorned Hank with the protective head gear and novelty scarf provided by Big Brother to ensure the safety of the sleeping blue mutant. It is now up to Victor and Logan to load the cannon with the slumbering mutant, after a bit of a tight squeeze Hank is finally in place.
"On the count of 3 we will light the fuse…" Scott instructs "…ONE…"
*BOOM!*
Scott looks sharply at Kat who is looking innocently at the fuse then to the flame on her fingertip.
"Wow! Didja see Hank fly? Didja? He was just like a bird!" Bobby enthused as Hanks fur stuck to the Velcro wall.
"Quick unstuck him, so we can fire him at it again!" Logan says jumping up and down on the spot excitedly.
Eric, Bobby and Scott run up to Hanks sleeping form stuck to the wall, and tries desperately to prize him off of it.
"He's stuck!" Bobby announces the obvious
"I never knew we had such a good alternative to Velcro sat in the plug holes!" Eric says ever thinking about money and no doubt world domination through the use of Hanks fur as Velcro.
2 Minutes later…
The housemates have finally pried Hank away from the wall and prepare for take off number 2, this time there is no countdown as Hank streaks past our cameras, scarf blowing out behind him, goggles becoming more splattered with dead flies with every nano second. Once again Hank hits the board with a satisfying (for those who fired him from the cannon) thud.
However when the third time comes for them to shoot Hank at the wall snores and pleas of 'Not again momma, I'm tired' can be heard from inside the cannon.
Remy and Rogue fall about giggling, that is until Rogue realises who she's giggling with and contorts her face with displeasure and smacks him in the face just for good measure.
"Quick fire him at the wall and we will have completed our first task since we've been in here" Scott says in a high pitched voice that sends all dogs in the near vicinity (oh and Logan and Victor) cowering in terror.
Kat lights the wick before running off to play hide and seek in the Marshmallow tree with Bobby while pretending to be chickens.
"Congratulations housemates you have now successfully completed your task" Big Brother informs the housemates, is it me or is Big Brother sounding more and more like that Xavier freak?
With that Kat runs up to Logan and tries to use his boots (while he is still in them might it be added) as kindling, but in the process setting fire to Rogues best jeans and Remy's 'I love Rogue' t-shirt.
"That's it get her!" Eric yells pointing at the small yet far from harmless mutant just because he's bored and the fact that he hasn't been able to persecute any humans in a while.
The housemates each grab a flailing limb and stuff Kat into the cannon and fire hr over the mansion walls.
"WWWWHHHHHHEEEEEEEE…..I'm a birdeeeee…*Splat* Ow!"
12:06PM
Hank has come to the dairy room in a state of obvious distress.
"Hello Hank what appears to be the problem?"
"Well Big Brother I am rather distressed due to the fact that I seem to have blanked out huge sections of the day. For example lets take today's task I am informed by Victor that I played a huge roll in the proceedings yet in can not remember them. Also I have discovered that large areas of my body are lacking fur, and the areas where my fur is regular are incredibly matted and give the impression of having been brushed through with Velcro." Hank sits in the chair hyperventilating "It also has come to my attention that the ginger fire creating mutant has disappeared, there's also this cannon in the garden and then there's the little people behind the mirrors that watch me while I shower and have a knowing glint in their eyes even though I can't see their eyes, I know that its there!"
Big Brother loses patience with Hanks ramblings "Go away and come back when you are not so demented"
3:56PM
Rogue is going to the delivery room to pick up the housemates shopping, in the background Remy can be heard humming the song he was singing earlier before seeing Rogue and bursting into song, however his choice of Lyrics are somewhat unfortunate.
"Left alone with big fat fatty,
She was such a naughty…."
"What was that Swamp rat?" Rogue says looking like a bull that has seen a red flag "You sayin' ahm fat?"
"No…" Remy stutters losing his cool flirtatious manner that he is famed for
*Thwack*
Rogue dusts her hands off muttering 'That will show him…' before flinging open the delivery door and finding Kat sat in a trolley surrounded by food, and a banana poking out of her left nostril.
"Kat…ah…" Rogue says panicking about what Kats reaction to being flung out of a cannon will be.
Kat flings herself at Rogues legs "its ok I forgive you….can we do it again it was fun…especially when my head went bang and split the tree in half…"
Rogue sighs in relief at Kats happy reaction…that is until she realises her butt is on fire.
5:07PM
Big Brother calls Remy to the diary room
"Hello Remy, if you were to win the game what would you spend the winnings on?"
"Remy would buy a love shack in da shape of the ace of clubs an' he would build the worlds largest collection of playing cards….Remy would also buy a casino"
"Ok enough about this Remy guy what would you do?"
"I am Remy!"
"Oh…..ok…..you may leave"
5:32PM
Big Brother has called Kat into ask her the same question
"If you were to win the game what would you spend the winnings on?"
"What game? There's a game? Is it a karaoke contest?" Kat says looking hopeful before thinking for a moment "I hope it isn't monopoly coz it hurts when you swallow the green houses"
"No I was referring to Big Brother"
"Ohhhh, I'd buy matches and a big bonfire, or a jungle whatever's cheapest" Kat then begins to laugh manically before burping.
Victor enters the diary room as Kat exits.
"Victor what would you do with the money you would collect if you was to be voted the winner of Big Brother 2003?"
"Well I would open an adoption centre for orphaned or unwanted mutant children as I feel I have developed a strong bond with the younger members of the Big Brother experience"
"Awww that's very nice Victor…"
"I haven't finished yet, I would also build a safari park where I could keep animals specifically to hunt, kill and maim the animals"
"Ok, now you've worried me!"
Who's your fav? Who annoys you the most? Let me know! Also any suggestions for future plot threads are hungrily received…my motivation has left a gaping hole in the proceeds of the last few months so lets get it back up to scratch by reviewing! Remember my all time ambition is to get over 50 reviews…so if you could help out please do.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!