Severus Snape

Professor Snape stumbled out the fireplace for the second time that night. He didn't even bother to catch himself, so he uncharacteristically fell onto the floor and stayed there. While he was contemplating what to do earlier that evening, he had cleaned his quarters, classroom, and office. Which did help, since he was nearly attached at the nose with his area rug.

All he felt like he could do was open his eyes. After he did, he watched a giant serpent circling a lion. The lion was much like the one from an old story he had once read. Something along the lines of a 'cowardly lion'. He wasn't sure, though, because his father had caught him with the book. It was a Muggle novel, so it was promptly taken away and burned before he could finish it His father had been very proud of their family's pure-blooded history, and had disowned him when he had found that his son was dating a 'Mudblood'. Severus was forced to tell him that he had called off the relationship, but still saw Lily in secret.

She was worth it. She was worth everything in the world. Severus sighed and closed his eyes again, thinking back to what had happened over the course of his life. He glared into the carpet and lifted his head, just to let it fall to the floor with a 'thunk'. How could he have been so stupid? Taking the Dark Mark! Becoming a spy! Endangering the one he loved, and never knowing about the son he had. Loosing Lily was why he always came across cold-hearted and cruel. What was he to do? Surely Harry would never want to have a father who had made his life a living hell... well... the Dark Lord did that, but he did make his everyday life a living hell.

It isn't like he could all of a sudden become chummy with the Boy-Who-Lived., especially become fatherly! Too many of his students were Death Eaters in training. Harry wouldn't want to be anywhere near him, whether or not he was his father. How could he ever think of him as a real father when he wasn't there for his birth, first steps, first words, seeing him off on the train for his first year of school. Sure, he was there for his first day, but he didn't exactly have a fatherly presence. The first glance that he gave to him nearly broke what was left of his heart. He was an almost exact replica of Potter. The only difference that he could see was his eyes. They were unmistakably Lily's. After that, when ever he looked into those eyes, he became enraged with James Potter. It had soon rubbed off onto the boy, he was almost brain-washed into thinking that the two were the same person. That the only difference was that he could be the one to bully Potter, instead of the other way around. He felt powerful, and mixed into that was rage. A terrible combination.

He always felt betrayed, however, whenever he looked into those emerald eyes. Whether or not he was angry, he was always left with a feeling of betrayal. As he thought back to the events of the past hour or more (he had lost track), he remembered that Harry still had Lily's eyes. Those eyes and the famous lightening bolt shaped scar were the only things tying him to his other life. Instead of looking like an exact replica of himself, although he did look remarkably like him, he had Lily's nose. Just as she said he did. Thinking back to the letter, he thought that Harry might've wanted to read it. Unable to stop himself, he chuckled a bit. The letter was pretty cheesy. After all, Lily did have a certain fondness for Muggle soap operas. Severus would never understand it, neither the fondness nor the soap operas. What was there to be liked? The situations were totally unbelievable, and it always seamed like they were trying too hard to get a reaction.

Putting his hands up to each side of his chest, he pushed himself off of the floor. He was in a pushup position, but he pulled his left leg up and used it to push himself further off of the floor. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the door that lead to his personal quarters. When he had left the Burrow, he had every intention to look over his plans for the school year, but now he didn't feel up to it. Upon entering his quarters, a person who knew Severus wouldn't be surprised. Everything was either a deep, dark color or leather. All of the woodwork was the darkest mahogany that he could charm into the pieces of furniture, including the liquor cabinet that he strode over to.

After making himself a brandy, he slumped into his favorite chair. He took a few drinks before setting it on the table beside his chair. Deciding to reread the letter again, he pulled it out of his robes. When the letter was pulled out, he noticed, for the first time, that the envelope was slightly heavier than it should be. He tipped it to the side, with an awaiting had at the corner. A small gold locket fell into his callused palm. Bringing it closer to his eyes, he saw that it was the one that he had given Lily on their honeymoon. She had to have shrunken it to fit better in the envelope. On the chain was a ring, the ring could only be her wedding ring. He enlarged it to the correct size, and opened it. There was a piece of Muggle paper folded on the inside. Instead of reading it, he looked at the pictures inside of the locket. On one side was a picture of Lily and himself on their wedding day, the other side held a picture of Lily holding Harry before the charms took effect. It must've been right after he was born, because she was glowing but sweating, nonetheless. She beamed up at him and then looked, lovingly, at her new son.

Severus made himself close the locket, but stared at the front of it before reading the note. There was a single bronze lily above her name. Her name, however, was not inscribed, but was made by one very fine and thin silver wire. Turning it over, he read the inscription that he had made himself. It read, To my dearest Lily, may we always be together. Love Severus, wedding day-7/31/79. The inscription shook him. He had forgotten that Harry was born on what would've been their one year anniversary. Today they would've been married for seventeen years.

Finally, he opened the note. It had been written on Muggle paper because it was much thinner than parchment. The note said, I would like you to give this to Harry, but it is up to you if you would like to keep it for yourself. He knew that he should give it to Harry, but a part of him still wanted to keep it. Opening the latch, he let Lily's wedding ring fall into his hand before closing the latch again. When he found more strength, he pushed himself off of the chair and walked up to his fireplace's mantel.

Behind his mantel's clock was a small box. It was covered in dark maroon fabric with a silver 'S' stitched onto it. Inside was a chain that matched the one that held the locket. This one, however, held his own wedding ring. He added Lily's ring to it before replacing it in the box along with the locket. When he closed it, he muttered a spell to change the silver 'S' into a cursive, gold 'L'. He'd give it and the letter to Harry for his birthday.

Thinking back to what he had said to him at the Burrow, he remembered that he never asked Harry whether or not he would like to stay at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer. He decided to ask Molly whether he should or shouldn't come back the next day. Actually, it would be a better idea to come at night. That way it'll be less likely to be found, which meant that less questions were likely to come up.

Severus sighed and made his way back to his chair. He finished the brandy and magically cleaned the glass before putting it back. Taking the letter and box, he went back to his chair, though he didn't sit. Placing the letter down, he put the small box on top of it. Severus yawned before heading into his bedroom. He was so tired, that he only had barely had enough time to change. After making his way back to his bed, he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. It was one of the few times that he fell asleep without listening to Beethoven.