By Norwalker
Part 4 of ?
Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.
Category: Romance/Angst/Drama
Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.
Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.
Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.
Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).
WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.
Faith slips quietly into the house on Revello Drive.
She knew she's late… very late. She'll probably have hell to pay at work tomorrow. Screw it, maybe she'll just call Xander in the morning and tell him she's sick. Whatever. What happened tonight is just too weird to process yet. She's been walking around, wandering more like it, trying to figure it out… make it make sense. She knows it happened… she has the proof in her pocket. Buffy's necklace, that Faith buried with her. But it's just too… out there for Faith. She's not one to believe highly in mysticism, or that stuff. Sure, she fights demons and vamps. But they're right there, evidence of her eyes. This magic voodoo hoodoo stuff is just hokum. Which makes what happened tonight all that more puzzling… and scary… and real.
She touches her lips where Buffy kissed her, and all the emotions of the night come welling back up inside her. She wipes impatiently at her eyes. She hates crying, and has cried too much in the last 4 months. But despite herself, the drops fall on her cheeks, and she looks up… ' hope you're happy getting me all weepy again, B' she mutters. She heads for the stairs. She's exhausted. This night has been too crazy for her, and she needs to sleep. She stops at the second stair, and pauses. She realizes that for the first time in…god, since Buffy died, she doesn't need to drink to sleep. She feels tired, ready to sleep.
' Thanks, B' She whispers softly, heading upstairs.
She enters her room, quietly closing the door. She begins to undress, ready to hit the covers and sleep. Maybe tonight it'll be dreamless. God, she hopes so, it's been so full of dreams lately… dreams that keep her awake, scaring her badly. She pulls the necklace out of her pocket, and looks at it. A little smile brightens her face… she remembers how she didn't really give it to be on her 18th birthday… it'd been after that, because true to form for B's birthday, they wound up fighting a vicious vampire called Kralik… part of a test given by the Watcher's council on a slayer's 18th birthday. No, she'd given it to her afterwards… a few days after… when they'd had yet another( and last) fight over Angel. Well. sorta, anyway. For awhile, things got better. Of course there were other fights, about stuff that really seemed stupid right now. All of the fights seem stupid now. If she only had another chance, she'd do her best never to fight with B again. She'd be smart this time, appreciate the time they had. She sighs… but that's not gonna happen. She places the chain on the dresser, and continues to undress.
She almost has a heart attack when she hears a small noise behind her. Whirling, half dressed, she's ready to fight. She sees a shape on the bed, and her heart starts to tattoo in her chest. She quietly walks over, and sees someone, fully dressed, sleeping in her bed. She looks carefully, and sees the long chestnut colored hair. She smiles. ' P-nut. What's she doing here? God, she musta been waiting for me, and fell asleep. Poor kid!' Faith reaches out to shake her, and stops. She looks so comfortable, she hasn't the heart to wake her up. She knows that Dawn's been going through some bad times herself. Faith decides to leave her. She removes her shoes and socks, and covers her with the blanket. She watches as Dawn snuggles deeper into the bed. "She's going to do something wonderful" Faith remembers Buffy saying. I wonder what? Knowing her, knowing what a royal pain-in-the-butt Dawn can be, Faith's trust in this prophecy is stretched to its limits. It was only because B had told her that she even believed it. Yet, as she looks down at the sleeping Dawn, she can't help but get all those mothery feelings. She looks so sweet, so innocent. Faith wants to just protect her from all the bad stuff in the world… and yet, let her experience all the good stuff. God, no wonder Mrs. S would go crazy sometimes, she laughed to herself.
' Well, Faith, now that Dawn's taken over your bed, where you gonna sleep?' she thinks to herself. She picks up her robe, planning on hitting the couch. But she groans. It's fine for a nap, occasionally, but damn it can be hell to sleep on. Maybe Dawn's room , then. Right, and have P-nut go nuclear on her for 'invading her private space'. Yeah, just what I need. Like, she didn't invade MY space. Faith sighs. Ah, screw it. She hardly takes up any space. Me and Buffy used to sleep just fine in that bed. Faith walks over, and doffing her robe, slips into bed. Faith hates sleeping in her undies, but it's not appropriate her being nude if Dawnie wakes up first.
As she relaxed into sleep, she heard the small snoring sounds Dawn was making. It was eerie how much she sounded like her older sister. Already struggling with her emotions, Faith had to bite her lip to keep from crying. It was just that little cut of the knife that made it so hard sometimes. She concentrated on her own breathing, and soon found herself drifting off into a gentle doze.
The light bothers her sleep, and she opens her eyes. She's disoriented at first, not recognizing where she is . Then as things began to focus in, she realizes she's downstairs in the living room. But what really freaks her is that it's nearly mid afternoon. She doesn't remember anything about the day, or about how she got to be here, sitting on the sofa. She looks down, and her second surprise hits her… she's fully dressed. Good thing, I guess, she thought to herself, be kinda embarrassing sitting down here in my underwear. She starts to get up, when she hears a noise in the kitchen. She turns in that direction, and the third, and most devastating surprise appears in the doorway. Joyce Summers walks over to the couch, smiling. Faith felt like she's going to faint… again!
" Hi, sweetie" Joyce says, sitting next to Faith. " You said you wanted to talk to me?" She smiled at Faith, waiting for her to begin.
" Uhhh… ummm… uhhh…" Faith says, not exactly knowing what to say…especially since she feels dizzy …
"Faith, are you alright?" Joyce asks, looking concerned, " you seem confused, dear."
Confused? That's putting it mildly, she thinks. First Buffy comes back, now Joyce? I'm beginning to believe I'm cracking up badly here. She wonders when they'll be measuring her for a straight jacket.
" Faith?" Joyce repeats, her brow furrowed." What is it? Are you ok?"
"I'm just kinda outta it, Mrs. S" Faith says, going with the insanity, " Sorry, I meant Joyce. Ummm… can I ask you somethin?"
"Well, of course honey, anything" Joyce smiles warmly.
"You know about Buffy… right?" Faith asks, feeling really strange, " I mean… about her…well…"
" You mean about Buffy dying, Faith?" Joyce asks, her face falling somewhat, " Yes, dear, I know".
"Uhhh… right… ok, then" Faith stammers a little, " Well… she came to … see me? God, this is weird… and … "
"Yes, Faith?" Joyce asks, " What?"
"Well…" Faith just decides to jump in with both feet. " She asked me to stop mourning her so much. To start living. That Dawn needed me… I really want to do what she wants, Mrs. … er.. Joyce… But I don't know how. How do I do that?"
Joyce Summers looks at Faith, her smile coming back. " That's my favorite, though sometimes thick, daughter for you, Faith. She means well, she really does" Joyce says, " But she's sometimes…clueless. Of course, you can't just turn grief on and off like the tap. Everybody grieves in there own way. You'll come to the end of your grief when you're ready. She just hates to see you tearing yourself up. Frankly, so do I. But… well, honey, you'll learn to deal with the pain when it's time. I think what she wants from you really, sweetie, is not to let grief cloud the rest of the world to you. That can be bad. " Joyce reaches out, and lightly brushes Faith's cheek." You have to live, sweetie. I know it's rough right now, but I promise. In time it will get better. The hurt won't be right up front, honey. Day will come when the hurt won't be there at all, instead, just the memories. Don't be afraid to grieve, but don't let it rule your life, either".
" But how? It just sneaks up on me… I'll see something, or hear something… or smell her scent… and it's all right there." Faith says quietly, " I don't mean for it to do that, but it does."
Joyce sighs, " I wish I knew all the answers, Faith, I do. I wish I knew just what to tell you on this, but I don't" She smiles a little regretfully, " all I can tell you is that you're going to have to try to let go of some of the pain. Sounds easy, but I know it's not. Be patient, honey. It'll come. Time will come when it doesn't hurt so much, and then it'll be less and less, until one day it won't hardly hurt at all".
" But I don't want to forget her!" Faith says, adamantly." She… means everything to me. She always will !"
" Always is a long time, Faith" Joyce says, patiently." You won't forget her, honey. She'll always live in your heart. But there'll come a time when another person takes up residence there, too. I know, it sounds out of the question now" Joyce adds, seeing the expression on Faith's face, "But it's true. Don't close your heart to love, honey. No one would want that, especially Buffy."
" I guess, " Faith says, not believing it for a minute. She sighs. " Thanks for listening again, Mrs. … Joyce… it really helps".
" Anytime, dear" Joyce Summers says. She looks at Faith, and a little knowing grin comes on her face. " Go ahead and ask, Faith, you know you want to".
"Huh?" Faith asks, puzzled.
" You want to know how I know about Buffy's death when I died before her, don't you?" Joyce smiles.
Faith gulps. " Well… yes, it's kinda freaking me out a little".
" Don't worry, Faith" Joyce smiles, " It's just a dream , dear".
Faith's eyes open. The bedroom is still dark, and she can hear Dawnie snoring softly next to her. She feels a light sweat on her brow. She's really freaking. First Buffy… then Joyce. This is getting to be downright scary. She's beginning to fear good old Mom( her real mom) will be showing up next, full whiskey bottle clenched tightly in hand, advising her on love. God!
What is it about these Summers' women that keep doing this to me? At every turn, they're there. If not Buffy, then it's Joyce, or Dawn. They never, ever cease to surprise me. I wonder if I'll ever figure it out?
Probably not, she mumbles to herself, and drifts back to sleep.
Dawn wakes with a start
'Whoa… intense dream. Just running through the cemetery, chasing a vampire, when I trip…and another vamp jumps on me… I'm so like totally in control…I flip him over, and start to stake him… but it turns out to be Mr. Harrison, the Junior High principal… I always though he looked pasty… ummm… where am I?'
Dawn realizes she's not in her room… but doesn't remember exactly where she is… she hears someone breathing…and looks over…' oh… Faith… oh, god, I must've fallen asleep in Faith's room. How…mortifying!' Dawn blushes…and looks under the covers…seeing she's still fully dressed, she relaxes a little. She'd be sooo embarrassed if Faith had undressed her. ' God, I hope I wasn't drooling when I was sleeping ! That would've been so not cool. '
Dawn only meant to wait for Faith 'til she got in. She still feels bad about this morning, and wants to apologize. But Faith didn't come… and time passed… and finally, she got tired and lay down… just for a minute… Shoot. She probably had a good laugh catching me sleeping here…wonder why she didn't wake me?
Not wanting to wake Faith, Dawn carefully turns over. She watches Faith as she sleeps. Her heart melts watching her. Even in sleep she looks troubled. Her mouth is twitching, and her eyes are moving back and forth… she must be dreaming. ' I hope it's a good dream' Dawn thinks to herself.
Dawn hopes Faith didn't drink tonight. Dawn found the empty bottles of Johnny Walker Red in the trash, and she put 2 and 2 together. She She's worried about Faith, very worried. She watches Faith when she thinks Faith isn't looking, and it scares her a little. It's like she's not really there. She gets a kind of faraway look in her eyes. Like she's looking at something the rest of us can't see. It's scary sometimes, because it's like she can't see the rest of them… only what she's looking at. 'What's really scary is sometimes we'll be talking, or someone'll be talking to her, and she seems to be somewhere else. '
'And she's always so sad. Even when she laughs, which isn't too often, there's a note of sadness in it. She doesn't seem to be really interested in much. I mean, she always asks about my day, and stays tuned in while I'm telling her, but … otherwise, she just seems to be waiting for something. Someone. Buffy. Like she expects Buffy to come through the door any minute now. Then she can start living again… when Buffy gets there.'
Dawn is afraid of what happening. To Faith, and to herself. Faith seems to be falling farther and farther into a pit. So far, sometimes, Dawn is afraid she'll never get herself out. That she'll stop caring about anything. That one day she'll just get on her bike, and go… not looking back.
That thought sends cold little knives through Dawn's heart. What scares her though is she doesn't know why. Not really. Not so much she wants to admit it to herself. Losing anyone else right now terrifies Dawn. What would she do without Willow? Willow helps her with school, and makes it fun. And Tara. Tara is like totally cool with everything. Dawn can talk to Tara about anything, and she doesn't like get all judgey or nothing. She has like infinite patience, and even when Dawn knows she's being a brat, Tara just seems to not notice. It's totally cool.
But, Faith is her rock. Her connection to Buffy. When she's with Faith, she can 'feel' Buffy more intensely. But more than that, Faith is like a cool example to her. What cool can be. She's a fighter, a lover , and someone not afraid to work to be the best at whatever she's doing… and Dawn wants to be that way. Faith exudes coolness, and Dawn definitely wants to be that way. But more than anything, Faith makes Dawn feel secure, and she needs that. Never mind the mega-crush she's got for her.
So, Faith slipping away is scaring Dawn, badly. So much so, that Dawn finds herself needing to play her little 'game' more and more , just to get the rush, the good feeling that it gives. Even if it's fleeting. Dawn knows it's wrong. She's totally afraid she's gonna get caught. Yet she continues to do it, for the rush. And for the fact she can 'hold' this stuff, it's real. No one can take it away. Ever.
The sad part? She's not scared to death of getting caught by the guards at the store. Or even of getting caught by Willow, Tara or Anya. What scares her most, is that Faith will catch her. If Faith catches her, she'll die. She doesn't think she can take the disappointment she'll see in Faith's eyes, or the withdrawal of affection it might bring.
So Dawn lies there, perfectly quiet. If she's quiet enough, this moment will last forever. She can lie there, and no one will see her. Faith won't catch her, and won't take her love away from her. She'll live in this second, this moment, as long as she can. Feeling safe, and warm and loved.
Because they cant' take it from her. Not if they can't see her.
Not now, not ever.
Faith crawls out of that dark area she calls sleep. The place where her mind turns to dreams, some good, most bad. Her eyes open, feeling gritty. She sighs. Not much sleep. She turns to where the P-nut was sleeping, but doesn't see her. 'Musta woken up and gone back to her own bed. Good. Woulda hated to have woken her here. Probably freaked a little. I shoulda carried her back to her own room last night. Oh well, score another one for Faith' . She sighs, throws off the covers, and groaning a little, gets out of bed. She pads over to where her robe is flung, and puts it on. She pauses a second. Something about today feels different. As if something was going to happen. She shakes her head. 'That's just nuts, Faith ' she thinks. ' You're just still weirded out from last night'. As she passes the dresser, something seems wrong. But, her mind still half fuzzy from lack of sleep, she shakes her head and heads to the bathroom. She'll figure it out when she's had her shower.
As she's heading for the bathroom, she passes Willow in the hall. " Mornin' Red" Faith says, but Willow just passes her, giving her a strange look. Faith shrugs to herself and wonders what's her deal? But she doesn't give it another thought. She's too wiped right now to figure Red's moods out. She pauses at the bathroom door and knocks, then enters when there's no response. She locks the door, drops her robe and undies, and enters the shower.
The water splashing over her wakes her up, and she begins to think about the events of last night. To say she's wigged is an understatement. That 'encounter' with Buffy in the cemetery was just unreal. If she didn't have her necklace… and it hits her. That's what was wrong. The necklace. It wasn't on the dresser, where she left it ! 'But that's impossible. I know it's there … I put it there… didn't I? I know I did. It's gotta be there, I musta just overlooked it.' Faith finishes her shower, but her mind is distracted now. That necklace is doubly important to her now. It's her proof that what happened last night happened, and she's not just ready for a reservation at the rubber room palace. She finishes her morning rituals, and throwing on her robe, heads back for her room.
"Damn, damn, damn!" Faith mutters to herself, frustrated. She's looked on the dresser, under the dresser, in the dresser drawers … nothing! ' I know it's here somewhere' she thinks, looking around the floor by the dresser, in case it dropped off. But no necklace. She checks the jeans she was wearing last night… not there! She begins to panic, fearing she's lost it. She looks on the nightstand, not there. She looks all over the floor, but nothing even close to it on there. 'How could I be so stupid!' She yells at herself, not finding it anywhere. In desperation, she pulls the covers off the bed, hoping it might be there… but no, it's not. 'Goddammit, where'd I put it?' She sits on the edge of the bed, angry and frustrated at herself. How could she be so damned careless? How could she lose this? She glances at the clock, and notices she's running late. Damn, I'm late too. I'll never get Dawn to school and me to work on time . Shit! She starts dressing in a hurry. ' I can't even ask if anyone's seen it. What'm I gonna say?' Her mind envisions the scene.
"Hey, anybody seen the necklace I gave Buffy on her 18th birthday?" Faith asks, casually.
"D-Didn't you bury that with her?" Tara asks, looking concerned.
" Yeah" Faith replies, " but Buffy visited me last night in the graveyard, and gave it to me as proof it happened. I lost it. Anyone seen it?" Willow and Tara look at Faith likes she's grown a second head. Willow goes to the phone.
"What's up, Red?" Faith asks, curiously, " who you callin?"
" I'm calling the Goodyear Hilton. See if you're Rubber room is ready" Willow replies, as Tara pulls out the straightjacket.
'Oh, yeah, that'd go over so good.' Faith, upset, leaves the bedroom in a rush. She takes the stairs two at a time, figuring she'll have to forgo breakfast, coffee or anything else this morning but a quick goodbye. She enters the kitchen just as Tara, Willow and Dawn are leaving.
"Hey, mornin' guys. Sorry I'm late, kinda moving slow this mornin. Dawnie, you ready to motor?" Faith asks, rushing to catch up with the group.
" D-Don't worry, Faith. W-Willow and I are gonna take Dawnie to school this morning" Tara calls back over her shoulder.
" I know I'm kinda late, guys, but this is my week to take Dawnie to school, right? I mean we agreed to trade off weeks" Faith says, catching up finally.
Tara looks embarrassed, and Willow looks a little grim. Faith's natural defenses fly up. ' Oh boy, what's goin on here?' she thinks to herself.
"Tara, honey, take Dawn to the car. I've got to talk to Faith" Willow says. She turns back to Faith, her expression neutral.
"What's goin on here, Red?" Faith asks, her suspicions rising.
" That's what I want to know" Willow says, keeping her voice low." What's going on her, Faith?".
" I'm not getting you, Red " Faith says, " What're you drivin' at?"
" I caught Dawn sneaking out of your room at 5 a.m. this morning. What was that about?" Willow asks, her tone slightly accusing.
" Huh? I came home late from patrol, and she was in my room, asleep. She looked so peaceful I hated to wake her. So I didn't" Faith says, keeping her voice down. " She musta woken up and decided to go to her own room".
"Really?" Willow asks, her tone disbelieving.
" Well, yeah, really" Faith says, confused. Then it clicks in. " What're you saying, Red?"
"Well, when I asked her about it, she got all flustered and confused. She was sneaking, and her shoes were off…" Willow says, explaining.
" I took them off her while she was asleep, so I could put the covers over her" Faith says, her voice getting lower. " What are you trying to say, Red?" Faith repeats, her tone changing.
" Well… I know it's been rough on you since Buffy's been gone…and.." Willow starts, but Faith cuts her off.
"Oh. My. God!!!" Faith says, not believing what she's hearing, " You can't… that… that's just SICK!!! She's like my little sister, RED! How the hell…." Faith's tone is edgy and dangerous. Willow backs up a little.
" I… I'm just concerned about Dawnie, Faith" Willow says, trying to justify what she's implied. She's feeling somewhat sick, right now.
" AND I'M NOT??!" Faith yells, losing her temper, "THAT'S THE ….." Faith stops, getting herself under control. She starts again, lower, but her tone is still red hot angry " … that's the vilest thing anyone's EVER accused me of!" She turns away, her face red in rage. She's afraid she's gonna hit Willow right now. She stomps off… then stomps back. She's so not done!
" How the hell could you even THINK something like that?" Faith asks, her voice carrying her hurt and anger," you know me better than that, Willow " Faith uses Willow's full name… something she never does unless really upset." You're right about one thing. I love Dawnie. She's special to me. Buffy asked me, before she died to make sure she'd be ok. I damn well plan on doing that!" Faith is getting up a full head of steam, " and you accusing me of…." Her neck turns red, the thought is so out there, " God, I'd never ever hurt Dawn in that way. What are you thinking? What in HELL ARE YOU THINKING!!!!"
Willow backs away. She's never seen Faith this angry before, and she's frankly more than a little scared. But she's not ready to give up quite yet. " Well, Faith, what do you think my job is? I've got to protect Dawn, too. She's a kid, she's not worldly…" Willow says, defensively, " Things happen…"
"NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!" Faith yells, not caring who hears. She turns away and storms off.
Willow, contrite, starts to follow her. " God, Faith… I'm sorry…." She calls out, trying to patch this up. Can you say, fat chance?
Faith turns on her, her face mottled in anger. " Get away from me, Red!!!!" Faith whispers, almost hissing, " I'm so angry right now, I won't be responsible for what I do" Her eyes tell Willow she more than means it.
Willow, feeling incredibly stupid, stands there as Faith wheels out her bike. She tries again to apologize, but Faith just cuts her off.
" Take Dawn to school. See that she's not late. I think our 'talk' is done, don't you?" Faith says, kick-starting the bike. The bike roars to life, and Faith says over the engine, " I just can't believe you think so little of me, that you could even think that, Red. It really hurt, ya know?" She puts the bike in gear, and roars off down the driveway.
Willow stands there, watching Faith's bike roar down the road. She feels like the most incredible asshole in the world. ' You should feel that way, you know, Will' she says to herself, ' What the hell ever possessed you to think that kind of nonsense?' she scolds herself. She knows what it is . Jealousy. Again. She's jealous because Buffy asked Faith to look after Dawn. Not her, not Willow, her best friend for like, forever. No, Faith. It was Faith that asked for Will's help. Faith that included her in Dawn's life. And now, Willow goes and pulls some stupid stunt like that. All because she's jealous. ' Why? Why can't I just grow up? I've got the greatest girl in the world, I'm part of Dawnie's life. Yet, any little bit that Faith wants, I get all green-eyed about. And when I saw Dawn sneaking out of Faith's room at 5 a.m. , of course I just jump to the most ridiculous conclusions. God, I'm supposed to be so smart. How can I be so incredibly stupid?'
Willow, cursing herself, walks towards the car.
Faith riding through the cool morning air, tries to calm herself.
She was a hairsbreadth away from strangling Willow this morning. It took ever bit of her self-control to not get physical on her. ' How in hell could she even think I'd do something like that to Dawn?' Faith is angry and confused. What hurt most of all was that she liked Willow. She always thought of her as a good friend to Buffy. ' Ok, there was that time back in college when she moved into our place, I wasn't all that happy about it. Jealous would be more accurate. But even then I was pretty damned cool about it considering. Hell, I know she had a crush the size of Texas on B. Things coulda happened. 'Course, B loved me, and nothing did happen, though there were times I was pretty…ok, I was damned petty about it. And jealous. Hey, c'mon can ya blame a girl? I mean, everybody loved B. As she woulda said, she had adorableness running out her ears. God, why she ever picked me. But she did, and I think somehow it bothers Red. God, she can be so stupid. If she's not careful, she's gonna lose Tara. You don't get 'em much better than that(well, except for B, of course).'
Faith has a bad habit. She can see things from both sides of the coin. Much as she wants to stay mad at Willow, she's finding it hard. Oh, don't think she's not hurt, but she also can see Willow's point of view, sick and twisted as it is . Catching Dawnie sneaking out of Faith's room(what's that about, anyway?), and then asking her about it, and getting a confused teenager response(Nothing's going on. I wasn't doing anything!), her clothes rumpled, her hair in disarray… and Dawn blushing(Because she felt stupid for falling asleep… totally uncool), Faith can see the wheels going around. 'Still, woulda been REAL NICE if she'd had the respect for me to ask me about it, before just assuming I'm guilty. Grrrrrr. Arrgh! And I guess I gotta stop thinking of Dawn as P-nut. She's growing up. God, she's the age I was when I met Buffy. Look what happened there. Oh, god. I gotta be a lot more careful around Dawn. No more thinking she's still 11 and just a kid. This could get seriously screwed up.'
Something about what Willow said… Dawn sneaking out of her room, bothers Faith. ' Why should she be sneaking? Even at that time of morning? Lots of reasons why she could be in there. And dawn getting all defensive.' Something is bothering Faith at the back of her mind, but she can't quite get it. Losing Buffy's necklace, and then Willow getting all over her, accusing her of …grrr… pretty much has her mind occupied. ' All I know is that Ms. Willow Rosenberg is gonna be eating a LOT of humble pie before I forgive her!' Faith thinks grimly. Nearing the construction site she's working at today, she turns her bike into the lot and parks it. Hopping off, she makes for the foreman's trailer.
"Well, I guess I was right. Something strange surely has happened today", She mutters as she enters the foreman's trailer.
"Willow, what were you thinking?" Tara asks
" I wasn't thinking. That's the problem" Willow says, making a face.
Willow and Tara are walking to their first class at UC Sunnydale. Normally they would be walking hand in hand, but Tara is a little perturbed at Willow this morning. Willow notes this, and is particularly humble. She misses her hand holdingness with Tara. She really screwed up bad this time.
"When has Faith ever given you reason to think she would do something like that, Willow?" Tara asks.
"N-Never" Willow replies, not looking at Tara. Feeling even more ashamed of herself, if that was possible.
" I mean, she could think we're doing weird things with Dawn" Tara says. Willow looks up in surprise. Tara goes on, " Dawnie spends an awful lot of time in our room, you know!" Tara points out to Willow.
" But… But, we're only teaching her some little glamour spells" Willow says, defensively, " And… and she likes to make the pencil float…."
" Not the point, Willow" Tara says gently. She finds it hard to stay too mad at Willow." Faith could think we're teaching her all sorts of bad things".
" But… But…." Willow stutters. " Okay, okay I get it. I really messed up. I jumped in without looking. Stupid, stupid me. I know" Willow says." What am I gonna do to fix it?" Willow has visions of baking dozens of cookies, and detailing Faith's bike for the next year or two.
" This is pretty serious, Willow" Tara says, " I think you're gonna have to 'fess up".
"Huh?"
" Willow, you're going to have to tell Faith that there's some jealousy here… and not on her part" Tara says, firmly.
"What?" Willow blushes, "that's so not true. I got the best girl in the world" Willow protests. "Why should I be jealous?"
"Because Buffy picked her, and not you" Tara chides her gently.
" TARA!!! That's…that's just silliness. I love you!" Willow cries, " how can you think anything else?"
" I know you love me, Willow" Tara says, " But around the time Faith showed up, you had a huge crush on Buffy. You already admitted it to me, don't deny it, Willow".
" Ok" Willow says, pouting, " but that was before I met you!"
"Willow, we've already gone all over this, no need to do it again. I know how you feel about Buffy" Tara says." My point is, Buffy asked Faith to care for Dawn. It's only because Faith wanted you to be part of it, that we're even in the picture".
Willow hates it when Tara can read her like a book. It's eerie, sometimes.
"Doesn't mean I'm jealous" Willow pouts.
" Willow, honey, until you work this out with Faith, it's just gonna be worse. You know that!" Tara says," Even if we manage to bring Buffy back, this is still going to hang over the relationship."
" I'll fix this, I promise" Willow says, " and, were gonna do it tonight".
" Tonight?" Tara asks, uneasily, " Why tonight?"
" Everything is ready to go" Willow says, " all the alignments are right. It's time".
"It's time" Tara repeats, not 100% onboard here, " Tonight".
"Tara, what is it?" Willow asks.
"I'm still not happy about this , Willow" Tara confesses," it's dangerous. A thousand things could go wrong. It's against … nature".
" Tara. I've gone over the spell 100 times, nothing's going to go wrong" Willow says, " and, this isn't ordinary circumstances. It's not like when Dawn tried to bring Mrs. Summers back. Buffy didn't die a natural death. It was mystical. This'll work, I promise!".
" I just don't like it, Willow" Tara states simply.
" Please, Tara. I need you" Willow pleads, " I can't do this alone. You're crucial. Please, you gotta help me!".
" Alright, Willow. I said I would, and I will" Tara says doubtfully, " just be sure it's for the right reasons!".
" I promise, baby" Willow says, " I'm doing it because Faith and Dawn need Buffy. And, Buffy might be suffering unspeakable tortures…. I've got to do this!".
" Ok, honey" Tara says, still not 100% convinced. " Tonight then".
" Tonight" Willow agrees, " it's all gonna be good, you'll see. It's all gonna be good".
Tara and Willow turn into their classroom together.
Dawn enters the house on Revello drive. She's obviously in an " up" mood. Today has been a good day at school.
"Hey… Anybody home?" She calls out, after closing the door. She heads towards the kitchen for a snack.
" Upstairs, Dawnie" A voice floats down. It's Faith's voice. " In your room. Come on up. We've gotta talk".
Uh-oh. Two things are very wrong with this picture. Dawn feels her tummy getting tight. First of all, Faith isn't usually home this early. And secondly, she said " We gotta talk". That's never good.
Dawn, feeling a lot less happy than when she flew through the door, trudges upstairs. She goes to her room, and sees Faith sitting on her bed. Her heart nearly jumps out of her chest when she sees what's next to Faith on the bed. Her chest! Her treasure chest! Faith is staring down into it. Dawn gulps. Faith, hearing Dawn, looks up. Her face mirrors her disappointment. Despite that, Dawn tries to bluff her way through it.
"HEY, what're you doing?" Dawn says, rushing towards the bed." That my private stuff ! What're you going through it for?" Dawn tries to sound indignant and angry.
"Stop, Dawn" Faith says calmly. Dawn stops, confused. "Would you like to try to explain this?" Faith asks, indicating the box.
" It's my stuff ! " Dawn says, a little lamely, " it's my stuff. What're you nosing around in my room for, anyway?" She asks, petulantly.
"Funny thing, Dawnie." Faith says, quietly, " I was missing something this morning. Something I knew I didn't have before last night… something I put on my dresser. You were in my room, asleep. No one else knew it was there. But I woke up this morning, and it was gone… like you were. I didn't put it together right away, but around lunchtime today it hit me. So, I came home. I admit I looked around a little, but I didn't read any of your journals. I didn't have to look too hard. Cuz, you left this out on your dresser." She indicates the box. " So, what's up, Dawnie?"
Dawn doesn't say anything, she just stares at Faith, looking upset and angry. Faith continues.
" This is Willow's bracelet. I know she's been looking for it for months. Tara gave it. She's been heartbroken thinking she lost it" Faith says, her voice giving away her distress. She puts down the bracelet, and picks up something else. " These are Buffy's earrings. I know them. I gave them to her. If you'd asked, I would've given them to you" Faith says, " This is Tara's. It's a necklace her mother gave her. " She looks through the rest of the box." I don't recognize the rest of this stuff, but some of them still have the price tags. Have you been shoplifting stuff?" Faith looks up, hurt and disappointment crossing her face.
Dawn stares at Faith. Her lower lip is quivering, but she answers defiantly. " What do you care?" She says, " you don't care. You wouldn't even be here, but Buffy made you" Dawn says, her voice angry, " No one wants me. No one cares about me ! You and Willow and Tara would rather Buffy was here than me. Don't you think I know that?" She says, her voice rising. " You all hate me, because she died for me! I know that. Well, I wish she hadn't. I wish she hadn't died. I wish I'd died. I'm just some kinda freak, I don't belong here! Even Buffy didn't want me! She couldn't wait to die to get away from me!" Dawn, upset, turns and runs out of the room. Faith, shocked, runs after her.
Dawn is fast, but Faith is faster. She manages to get out the front door, but Faith catches her on the front lawn. Dawn, upset, starts struggling.
"Lemme alone….LEMME ALONE" Dawns screams. She starts hitting Faith. Of course, at that moment, Willow and Tara pull up. They jump out of the car.
"Hey… HEY… let her go! " Willow says, coming over to Faith. " What's going on here?"
" No, I won't let her go, Red" Faith says, " I caught her taking stuff".
"That's silly! Dawn?" Willow says. "Let her go!"
" It's not silly. Go upstairs and look in her bedroom. I found your bracelet and Tara's necklace" She says to Willow.
Willow looks at Dawn, then back at Faith. " Is this true, Dawn?" Willow asks. She's confused at the moment.
" No, she's LYING!!!" Dawn says, " I didn't take anything!"
Tara comes over, and stands close to the struggling Dawn and Faith, who's having a hell of a time keeping hold of her.
" Dawnie? Is it true?" Tara asks, mildly. " It's ok, you don't need to lie to me."
Dawn looks at Tara, and her face collapses… she starts to cry. She clings to Faith, crying.
"Shhh… there, there honey" Faith says, her own heart breaking, "It's ok, it's ok". She pats Dawn's back. She picks Dawn up and carries her into the house.
Two confused and rather upset witches follow her.
"Dawnie, sweetie, we love you to pieces" Willow says, hugging the crying girl. " Don't you ever, ever think otherwise".
" You're special to us, Dawnie" Tara says, wiping away Dawn's tears. " You're our little star, don't' you know?"
"Dawn… don't ever get the idea I don't want you around" Faith says, kneeling by Dawn, who's seated on her bed." IF not for you, honey, I couldn't have gotten through these last few months".
"R-R-Really?" Dawn looks up, eyes full of tears.
" You betcha, P-nut" Faith says, " IF not for you, I woulda given up, honey. You've been my rock. I'm ashamed to say, I've not been as strong as you've been. I haven't given you all you need, I think" Faith smiles gently at her." I know I've been kinda…out of it, honey. But I promise, that's gonna change. I'm gonna do better, ok?"
Dawn leans over and hugs Faith tightly. Faith waves her hands to indicate ' group hug' and the other two get in on the hug. They hold the hug for awhile, then it breaks apart.
" You know you've done wrong, don't you, Dawnie?" Faith asks, gently. Dawn nods. Faith continues, " This is serious, Dawn. Stealing isn't right". Faith almost chokes on her words when she considers her own history, but this is different, ok?
"I'm…I'm … sorry, I messed up big time" Dawn says, looking forlorn. Faith feels for her, but has to remain tough here.
" That's not good enough, Dawn" Faith says. Willow and Tara nod agreement. " I'm afraid you're going to have to return everything to where you took it from. And apologize for taking it. Make restitution, if it's needed".
"But… but…" Dawn sputters. Oh, this is bad. Really bad!" No Buts, Dawn" Faith says, firmly. " You did wrong, you've got to take your punishment".
" Faith, isn't that a little harsh?" Willow asks, trying to come to Dawn's aid.
" No, Red, it's not. She stole the stuff. She needs to learn there's consequences… don't you, Dawn?" Faith says, looking at Dawn.
" Yeah" Dawn says, probably the most unenthusiastic 'yeah' ever spoken.
"We'll go with" Willow says. Faith looks at her, " To explain… so she's not put in jail !" Faith nods. Dawn looks up, frightened.
" Don't worry, P-nut, we won't let them put you in jail" Faith assures her. Dawn looks relieved. At least, she didn't get grounded.
"Oh, and Dawn?" Faith says, as she's ready to leave.
" Y-Yes?" Dawn says.
" You're so grounded. Like, 6 months worth" Faith says, leaving . Dawn groans.
" Don't worry, honey" Tara says, " We'll get your sentence reduced for good behavior". She smiles at Dawn, who smiles gratefully back at her.
" I heard that, Tara!" Faith calls back
Tara gulps, and with Willow, leaves.
Dawn, totally busted, sits on her bed, contemplating her fate.
It's nearly midnight in Sunnydale.
In the Restfield Cemetery, four figures huddle around a grave. One of the figures , carrying a glass vial, pours sand in a circle around the grave. She is chanting a small spell. The others wait around the edges, knowing not to cross the circle.
In the center of the circle, Willow puts some ingredients in a small urn. It's placed dead center of the circle, and by it is a framed picture of Buffy. She mumbles a spell over the urn, and then very carefully exits the circle, making sure not to break the line.
" Ok, is everybody ready?" Willow asks, looking around the group. They look reluctant, but nod. " Ok then, do you remember your lines?" She asks. They nod. " Ok, it's nearly midnight, light your candles!".
Each takes out a lighter, and lights the candle. All except Anya, who seems to be having problems. She can't get her lighter to work.
"Anya, hurry! The candles have to be burning by midnight!" Willow whispers, intently.
" I'm trying, I'm trying. This stupid lighter won't work" Anya says. Xander give her his lighter. She gets the candle lit.
" All right now. Remember your cues. It's important!" Willow says. They all sit, and Willow begins the spell.
" Osiris, lord of the underworld, judge of souls. We entreat thee. We ask that you grant us our dearest wish! " Willow intones. " Bring forth her that was taken from us. Let her be restored to us ! "
" I am the earth, giver of life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris " Tara says, sprinkling some powder into the circle
" I am the air, so the living may breathe. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris " Anya says, throwing the powder in the circle
" I am the fire. I bring warmth and light to life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris " Xander says, throwing in the powder. He nearly sneezes, but catches himself.
" I am the water, who nourishes life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris " Willow says, tossing her powder into the circle.
" Osiris, Keeper of the dead, Hear our pleas. Bring she who's been taken from us back to us. Restore her to us, whole and untouched. Let her be alive… let her live, let her live, let her live!!! " Willow intones the spell.
The sacred circle begins to glow. A wind picks up, and the glow goes with it, forming a whirlwind of light… it moves to the picture of Buffy, and encircles it. At that moment, Willow is encased in a cone of mystical energy. Her eyes go black, and her arms shoot up. There are cuts on her arms , deep raw looking wounds.
"What's going on?" Xander says, starting towards Willow. " What's happening to her?" He makes to get up, but Tara stops him.
"No… it's a test, to see if she's worthy. Don't interrupt it!" She says, whispering.
" I don't like this!" Xander says, but he stays still.
They are so focused on Willow , they don't notice the three vampires surrounding them until one of the vamps speak up.
" Hey, look guys, a picnic. Hope you're hungry. I sure am" The lead vamp says. He moves in to attack.
"Aw, crap!" Xander says, getting up. " Stop them. Don't let them interrupt Will" He says. He makes for the lead vampire.
A fight breaks out, Xander and the rest trying to keep the vampire away from Willow as she completes the spell. But it's not going well, and they are being tossed to and fro. It looks like it might go badly when a voice calls out from the darkness.
" Hey, Fang gang. Don't ya know it's not nice to be party crashers?" Faith steps out of the shadows, and starts to lay into the vampires.
All this time, Willow is still invoking the spell. She's been going through some changes, and is weaving in the aura of light. She finally calls out the final part.
" Restore"
" RESTORE"
" RESTORE! "
At that moment, a vamp, hit by Faith, comes crashing through the sacred circle, smashing the urn of Osiris. Willow, caught in the aura, falls over as if wounded. Tara, concerned, comes over to Willow, checking her out.
Faith finishes off the final vampires, and looks around at what's going on. She looks puzzled. Here's Anya, Xander, Willow and Faith, all gathered around Buffy's grave… and what's that? Candles? A circle? Her picture? What's going ON here?
" Ok, what are you four up to?" She asks, not sounding too pleased.
" Damn… it didn't work!" Xander says, looking around.
" I did it right. I did everything right!" Willow cries, not understanding. " It should've worked".
" What are you talking about?" Faith asks, now confused, as well as irritated. " What should've worked?"
"The urn! The urn is broken!" Willow says, mournfully.
"We'll get another" Xander says, " A better made one".
" There aren't any others!" Anya says, " I was lucky to get that one!"
" We'll fix it" Xander says, picking up the shards. " A little glue, good as new!"
" It's defiled, Xander" Willow says, mournfully, " it won't work anymore".
"M-Maybe it's a sign" Tara says, " M-Maybe we weren't supposed to bring her back!"
" Bring who back?" Faith asks, then it hits here where she is. " Buffy. You were trying to bring back Buffy!"
"Y-Yes, we were" Willow says, discouraged. " But we failed. And the urn is broken. We can't do it again"." My god, what the hell were you doing?" Faith says, her anger rising. " I've heard about these spells. They can go whacko. What … were… you…doing?"
" Trying to bring her back!" Willow counters." Trying to get her out of the hell dimension she's trapped in!"
" We couldn't leave her there" Xander says, " Not without trying to get her free".
"Dammit. You haven't a clue!" Faith says, " She's NOT in a hell dimension. She's in a good place!"
"What? What're you talking about?" Willow says, " How do you know that?"
"Because, Red, I spoke with her last night. Right here! She's ok…she's happy. God, don't you ever think?" Faith is really burning now.
" How were we supposed to know that? You didn't mention that!" Willow says, also getting angry, " For all we knew, she was being tormented by demons. Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because, I had a hard time believing it myself." Faith says, angrily, " Think I believe in this hocus-pocus stuff? Or ghosts? But I have this to prove it to me!" She holds up Buffy's necklace.
Willow comes over, and looks at the necklace. She reads the inscription on back. She looks at Faith. "But…but you buried that with her!" She says, amazed.
" I know that. She gave it to me last night. To prove what had happened was real. I didn't believe it myself… not until this!" Faith says, quietly. "That's why I was late last night, and late this morning. This was missing, and I was frantic to find it. It's what finally led me to find out about what Dawn was doing. " She pauses… and looks around the circle. " Oh. My. God!" She cries out, " If we're all here… who's with Dawn?" She gets up, and starts to run towards the Revello Drive house.
Everybody's eyes go wide. No one thought of that one. Picking up most of the mess, they all start off towards the house.
" It should've worked. It should've worked!" Willow can be heard to say, as the group leaves the gravesite. " I don't understand it. It should've brought her back!"
The gravesite is deserted. All that is left is the sand for the sacred circle, the shards of the broken urn of Osiris, and the picture of Buffy. The frame is melted, because of the energy that surrounded it. It's all quiet now, nothing is happening
A few minutes later, the grass starts to move… as if something is trying to dig through it. The movement becomes more pronounced, more violent… and a hand shoots up out of the ground. It's injured…it looks like it had to claw through something. A second hand is soon seen… dirt flies out in both directions as the hands are digging through the soil. Soon a head appears. A gasp is heard as air is drawn deeply into air starved lungs. The head appears above the ground, …soon followed by a neck and shoulders. The woman pulls herself out of the grave, and sits down, exhausted. She looks lost, and scared. She is a small woman, blonde… and filthy from the earth. But she can breathe again, and right now that's all she cares about. She looks around, puzzled. How did she get here? Where is she? Feeling weak, she crawls towards the grave stone, reading the name on it.
"Buffy Summers? Who the hell is Buffy Summers? Why am I in her grave?" She asks, her voice raspy.
"Where in hell am I?"
To be continued.